Sexy thread.
*headdesk*
- Thread starter Vytamindi
- Start date
- Status
North_Ranger
Staff member
They used to have Cosmo at our breakroom at the place where I used to work for summers. It was a telemarketing firm, and Cosmo was one of the magazines we sold.
One time, I started berating the "101 Hottest Sex Tips", particularly the one where the guy is supposed to stick his dick through a hole in a donut.
Next month, we no longer had Cosmo.
One time, I started berating the "101 Hottest Sex Tips", particularly the one where the guy is supposed to stick his dick through a hole in a donut.
Next month, we no longer had Cosmo.
Probably not the case but maybe "You're doing it wrong?".
Your gift to him should be breaking him of this aversion.
What's with all this talk of blowjobs?
Make your man a god damn scrapbook!
Amirite??
SCRAPBOOKS, FUCK YEAHHHH!
Make your man a god damn scrapbook!
Amirite??
SCRAPBOOKS, FUCK YEAHHHH!
M
makare
Lol, I was thinking that he is Davan from Something Positive.
Poor Guy.
Poor Guy.
Your gift to him should be breaking him of this aversion.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, just tie him down and make him like it.
Probably not the case but maybe "You're doing it wrong?".[/QUOTE]
The only way to know for sure is to have a neutral third party judge
C
callistarya
Wrong holiday, but here's a question that's always taken me a while to understand:
Is oral sex in a straight relationship so rare, it has it's own holiday? I mean, everytime I hear about how a woman gets something extrodinary from her boyfriend/husband, it's always like "Oh she must have given him head for that". I mean, really?[/QUOTE]
It's my impression that straight women, especially married ones, aren't supposed to like giving head and don't do it often. If you do enjoy performing oral sex on your husband/boyfriend, then you're (a) being adventurous like they tell you to be in Cosmo or (b) you're a dirty whore. Personally, I like doing it and hate Cosmo.[/QUOTE]
DITTO!!!!
Cajungal
Staff member
At least you want to improve. I know this guy... his poor wife never gets it. They've been together (including non-married time) for about 10 years and he's never been able to bring himself to do it. It makes me feel bad for her, because apparently he won't even kiss her below her stomach. He just won't do it. 
Sad.
Sad.
I'm 100% with you, LB ol' buddy, but there are some guys who DO find it gross, for some reason I'll never understand. Just as there are girls who HATE to give head, there are guys who are DISGUSTED by the thought of their mouths on a vagina.
It's absurd to me too, why would they be ok with sticking their penis in but not their tongue? There are lots of places I'd stick my mouth in but NEVER the lil' sergeant, y'know? Weirdos.
It's absurd to me too, why would they be ok with sticking their penis in but not their tongue? There are lots of places I'd stick my mouth in but NEVER the lil' sergeant, y'know? Weirdos.
Still sexy.
North_Ranger
Staff member
Same here. I mean, I actually ENJOY cunnilingus. Call me weird, but I love pleasing my partner, making her whimper with pleasure with my lips, tongue, fingers... and like you said, breath. The Psycho, for instance. Like I've said, sex was probably the only thing we both enjoyed in the end, and at times she was hyper-orgasmic. I mean, if we'd been teasing and fooling around for a while, she might come just from me blowing softly at one of her erogenous zones. Not just the bits, but the back of the neck, the small of the elbow... those places.
)Learn to play the tinwhistle.
It teaches you all kinds of tongue and finger coordination
Learn to play the tinwhistle.
It teaches you all kinds of tongue and finger coordination
[/QUOTE]I'll give that a shot. Or at least start playing the flute again - I was in band from 3rd grade until I graduated high school. (yes, I was in marching band. No, I will not be posting pictures.)
W
Wasabi Poptart
I would file for divorce. And yes I am serious.At least you want to improve. I know this guy... his poor wife never gets it. They've been together (including non-married time) for about 10 years and he's never been able to bring himself to do it. It makes me feel bad for her, because apparently he won't even kiss her below her stomach. He just won't do it.
Yeah, I understand the ideal of waiting until marriage, but after you've committed your life to someone legally and publically would be a terrible way to find out that you don't click sexually at all.
Heh, reminds me, on the Graham Norton show there was a singer doing a song about a relationship where her partner was wonderful in all aspects, except the sex was rubbish. I wish I could recall her name.
Heh, reminds me, on the Graham Norton show there was a singer doing a song about a relationship where her partner was wonderful in all aspects, except the sex was rubbish. I wish I could recall her name.
I'm one of those weird individuals who doesn't really get off on oral. *shrugs* I've had it applied with both skill and vigor, and never let it be said that my wife didn't go out of her way to try and "improve" (she really doesn't need to); just quirked weird that way, I guess.
On the flip-side, however, I LOVE making her make interesting noises - all the more so because she used to be too shy to make them. *grins*
Also...
On the flip-side, however, I LOVE making her make interesting noises - all the more so because she used to be too shy to make them. *grins*
Also...
Seconded.
Dave
Staff member
Learn to play the tinwhistle.
It teaches you all kinds of tongue and finger coordination
[/QUOTE]I'll give that a shot. Or at least start playing the flute again - I was in band from 3rd grade until I graduated high school. (yes, I was in marching band. No, I will not be posting pictures.)[/QUOTE]
I played the trombone. My wife gets pissed when I give her raspberries while trying to put her leg into the 4th slide position.
You should see me emptying the spit valve...
I thought he was talking about Mrs. Dave...TROMBONES HAVE SPIT VALVES!?
*pecks his penis against the screen furiously*
No really, I don't care if I'm late but wow. :O
I thought he was talking about Mrs. Dave...[/QUOTE]TROMBONES HAVE SPIT VALVES!?
Yeah, but I was more shocked at the fact that trombones have an actual valve that was designed to hold spit than what that would be a euphemism for sexually. The sex stuff I know, the disgusting valve filled with years of spit I don't. baaaaahhhg
Dave
Staff member
I thought he was talking about Mrs. Dave...[/QUOTE]TROMBONES HAVE SPIT VALVES!?
Yeah, but I was more shocked at the fact that trombones have an actual valve that was designed to hold spit than what that would be a euphemism for sexually. The sex stuff I know, the disgusting valve filled with years of spit I don't. baaaaahhhg[/QUOTE]
As you play most brass instruments, spit accumulates inside somewhere. So most brass instruments have valves designed specifically to drain the spittle from the thing. On the trombone it's near the bottom rounded end of the slide.
---------- Post added at 12:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:26 PM ----------
Oh, and you can't play too long without emptying the spit or the sound you make will sound like you are blowing bubbles. So there is no "years of accumulation".
M
makare
This thread was kind of awesome but then it got gross. Thanks a lot Dave!
Cajungal
Staff member
Man speaking of grossness and spit valves... I spent one semester watching a high school band/choir teacher for education. After watching all the spit valves get emptied onto the carpet for the band class, I got to watch the choir kids come in and lie down on it contently... none the wiser. MWAHAHA!
- Status