Handling Stupid Friends

LittleKagsin

LittleKagsin

I kind of just want general thoughts on this, maybe some advice? Or maybe I just want to vent. I don't know. I'm just frustrated and have no where else I can go.

Friend A is gorgeous, over flirtatious and men fall for her in an instant. She is very very much in a serious relationship, talking about marriage with her boyfriend.

Then there's Friend B. He's single and highly interested in Friend A.

I've had talks with both of them, "Friend B, don't do this to yourself, she's flirting because she can, not because she's interested." "Friend A, you can't lead guys on like that, stop flirting, please."

But...that hasn't done anything. And now almost every interaction I see between the two of them makes me sick and frustrated. Friend B has told me he just wants to be her friend, but...I don't think so. If you just wanted to be her friend, wouldn't you also attempt to be friends with others too? He barely talks to ANYONE, except her. And talks with her on a daily basis. Like, no, you want more from her and you're going to stick around until a possible opportunity arises.

And she's encouraging everything!

UGH, I just smell disaster. And then I'll be left picking up the pieces biting my tongue to not say 'I told you.'

Why are they being stupid?
 
Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Friend B wants to bang Friend A, and Friend A likes the attention, and so leads him on. That's pretty much the end of it. Friend B is hitting on a girl he knows is already in a relationship, and Friend A is in a relationship but letting it continue. They're both in the wrong, and really there's nothing you can do but sit back and watch it explode. Let them make their own mistakes.
 
Last edited:
tegid

tegid

Maybe I'm projecting here but from the 'not talking to anyone else' part it seems like he may be infatuated and actually think a) that he actually wants to be her friend or most probably b) he knows he wants something else but believes being friends is enough and better than nothing (ha!). Or least probably c) he's just waiting for his chance, as you say.
Depending on whether opportunity arises and whether he acts on it or not, disaster may be looming, but... it is very likely that nothing will happen, after a looooong while he'll get tired of this shit and hate her afterwards.


Just tell him not to be an idiot and don't look when it's happening, I guess...

Enviado desde mi GT-I8190 mediante Tapatalk
 
LittleKagsin

LittleKagsin

I'm just sad because...I want nothing to do with either of them. I haven't talked to them for a while and I just want both of them to go away. :( Which, isn't very nice or very realistic.

I have my table ready to flip when everything goes to hell.[DOUBLEPOST=1398273526,1398273381][/DOUBLEPOST]
tegid said:
and hate her afterwards.


Just tell him not to be an idiot and don't look when it's happening, I guess...

Enviado desde mi GT-I8190 mediante Tapatalk
Click to expand...
And that's what I don't want. I think that's why I'm trying to get them to stop before things go that way. Because I do think that's how it will end, he will end up being disgusted with her in one way or another and rage.
 
Tress

Tress

You have no way to keep them from being stupid. You've said your piece, warned them both, and now you just have to let it explode on its own. Sorry.
 
SpecialKO

SpecialKO

I have been "B" before. What, ah, cured me of that was this:

Seeing very, very explicitly how "A" was like that with everyone even with her then-boyfriend-turned-fiance-turned-husband (who was also a friend) in the exact same room and very clearly aware of what was going on and being very clearly 100% fine with it.

Obviously that didn't preclude more exotic kinds of arrangements, but it made the thought process behind such a thing sufficiently complicated that I realized I was just being stupid to take her universally-applied behavior as any kind of indication of interest.
 
blotsfan

blotsfan

Get them both blackout drunk, take off their clothes, and drag them to the same bed. She probably won't flirt with him again.
 
SpecialKO

SpecialKO

blotsfan said:
Get them both blackout drunk, take off their clothes, and drag them to the same bed. She probably won't flirt with him again.
Click to expand...
So you're saying...let the explosion happen, but under controlled circumstances?

...I can't actually say that's the worst plan ever.
 
Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

Nosce te ipsum.

"I can be a good/faithful fiancee and still flirt without causing problems for me, or my fiance or the people around us!"

"I can be a good friend with a girl I like without that causing problems for me or her, or the people around us."

Until they realise that, no, they can't, your concerns will fall on deaf ears.

You're not a good fiancee or friend if you think your actions happen in a vacuum. You're not even a good person.
 
Fun Size

Fun Size

I find that it's actually pretty easily handling stupid friends. Unlike smart friends who demand reasonable explanations, with stupid friends you can get away with things like "No, I'm pretty sure those were your hands" or "You just asked me to hold those up for you. I can't believe you already forgot.".
 
Jay

Jay

Girl is in a serious relationship and friend-zoned a bunch of guys she's flirting and talking with every day? The real victim here is that girl's boyfriend.
 
Celt Z

Celt Z

I have to agree with Jay. If this girl's in a serious relationship, and STILL needs to validate herself by constant sexual attention by other men, there may be bigger problems down the line. Also:

...after a looooong while he'll get tired of this shit and hate her afterwards
Click to expand...
While this will probably happen given what you said of this guy's mind-set, the real person he should be pissed at is himself. He's doing everything the stereotypical, self-proclaimed "Nice Guy" (Internet TM) is known for doing. He should be pissed at himself for going after someone in a relationship and wasting his time, instead of blaming her when he didn't get his way.
 
AshburnerX

AshburnerX

My advice? If you can live without your friends, call them out on this bullshit infront of both of them and then tell them to fuck off because you aren't going to help them when this goes south. They've both put you in an awkward position and that means the only that should matter to you is how to get out of this.
 
drifter

drifter

Start carrying around Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot plushies. Whenver those two chuckleheads start acting stupid, sit down and MST3K the scene unfolding before you.
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

tegid said:
Depending on whether opportunity arises and whether he acts on it or not, disaster may be looming, but... it is very likely that nothing will happen, after a looooong while he'll get tired of this shit and hate her afterwards.
Click to expand...


--Patrick
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top