Focusing

[Anonymous]

I need help focusing. I just wish I could fix that. I've tried so many things and none of them seem to work. All due humility, I've had IQ tests off the charts. But I just don't do anything with it. Someone looking at me from the outside would see success, but I get ahead by pushing through at the last minute on shallow knowledge I gleaned because I can pick up things really quickly. It bothers me greatly. My mind is always everywhere but nowhere, and I cannot get the motivation to do anything for more than a day. I have ideas all the time, and I file them away in notebooks and never do anything with them. Does anyone have any advice?

 

[Cajungal]

I can relate. Ever since I was a kid, people have told me that I'm smart and gifted. Being told that (often just because I seemed that way... no real evidence) made me lazy over the years. It's easy to coast when you're known to be a smart person. Low risk activities mean you can continue to look smart without failing at anything. That doesn't sound like your exact situation, but that's part of what has made me hold off on goals.

Here are some things that helped me (sorry if it's really long):

1. Tiny goals, displayed visibly somewhere in your home. I write at least one sentence a day. That's a tiny goal, but if I can get my laptop open, I usually end up thinking, Well, I'm here, and I don't have anything else to do... might as well knock out a few pages. It works that way for me with most things. 15 minutes of exercise turns into an hour. 10 minutes of ukulele practice turns into 30 minutes... Start out by choosing just one thing you want to focus on, and commit to doing it for just 10 minutes a day. If you do the minimum, you've at least done something. If you do more, great, and it'll probably only get easier from there.

2. Phone alarms that say things like "you should be working" or "are you going to regret how you spent your time today?" I have an app that gives me reminders like "don't eat unless you're hungry" or "have you exercised yet?" Not everyone needs that, but I really do, because I get complacent really easily.

3. Throw out one thing you do that you don't need to do--something that is mostly habit or is just another responsibility you don't need... if you can. I was able to quit one of the committees I'm usually on at my job, and it makes me less overwhelmed. If there is a hobby or activity that you barely care about anymore and that you can afford to abandon, it might clear your mind a bit.

The Ted Talks about making a change for 30 days really inspired me. Maybe it'll help you too. I hope that something here helps. Good luck!
http://www.ted.com/talks/matt_cutts_try_something_new_for_30_days.html

 

[PatrThom]

I need help focusing. I just wish I could fix that. I've tried so many things and none of them seem to work. All due humility, I've had IQ tests off the charts. But I just don't do anything with it. Someone looking at me from the outside would see success, but I get ahead by pushing through at the last minute on shallow knowledge I gleaned because I can pick up things really quickly. It bothers me greatly. My mind is always everywhere but nowhere, and I cannot get the motivation to do anything for more than a day. I have ideas all the time, and I file them away in notebooks and never do anything with them. Does anyone have any advice?

I would like to point out that, regardless of the eerie 100% accuracy of this post, I did not make it.
I eagerly look forward to the reponses, however.

--Patrick

 

[Espy]

I know NOTHING about medical stuff, and I know the term is overused, but doesn't this sound like a real ADHD? Might not someone with these issues be the real reason we invented medicine like Ritalin?

 

[ncts_dodge_man]

I personally have had similar issues and still continue to do so.

Having been dealing with this for over 10 years, a few years ago I finally went to my doctor who referred me to a therapist and I was diagnosed with Dysthymia. I'm not saying that this is your specific issue, but seeking help can help too. Been trying different medications, but haven't found anything that helps. Seasonal changes really screw with me as does a lot of dark daytime times (bad weather/etc).

I've also found doing things like finding some non-singing music that I can listen to via headphones while at work helps too.

 

[Ravenpoe]

Fuck if I know. I've been an underachiever all my life for pretty much these exact reasons.

 

[Cajungal]

I know NOTHING about medical stuff, and I know the term is overused, but doesn't this sound like a real ADHD? Might not someone with these issues be the real reason we invented medicine like Ritalin?

It definitely might be worth looking into. You have to be cautious, IMO. I can't tell you how many kids I teach who don't need to be medicated. It's not that they truly can't focus, it's that they can, but they won't. It's a tough distinction to make, and sometimes you have to go through a lot before you know one from the other. And all that said, I'm not one of those people who thinks it's a fake disease. Overdiagnosed, maybe, but not fake.

 

[Espy]

It definitely might be worth looking into. You have to be cautious, IMO. I can't tell you how many kids I teach who don't need to be medicated. It's not that they truly can't focus, it's that they can, but they won't. It's a tough distinction to make, and sometimes you have to go through a lot before you know one from the other. And all that said, I'm not one of those people who thinks it's a fake disease. Overdiagnosed, maybe, but not fake.

Well, thats why I wondered, it's one thing if people are throwing meds at kids who are just being kids, but if you are an adult struggling with ADHD symptoms it might be worth talking with a doctor or therapist about.

 

[Chad Sexington]

I would like to point out that, regardless of the eerie 100% accuracy of this post, I did not make it.
I eagerly look forward to the reponses, however.

--Patrick

Hahaha... When I read it, my first thought was that it was you!

 

[WasabiPoptart]

1. Tiny goals, displayed visibly somewhere in your home. I write at least one sentence a day. That's a tiny goal, but if I can get my laptop open, I usually end up thinking, Well, I'm here, and I don't have anything else to do... might as well knock out a few pages. It works that way for me with most things. 15 minutes of exercise turns into an hour. 10 minutes of ukulele practice turns into 30 minutes... Start out by choosing just one thing you want to focus on, and commit to doing it for just 10 minutes a day. If you do the minimum, you've at least done something. If you do more, great, and it'll probably only get easier from there.

2. Phone alarms that say things like "you should be working" or "are you going to regret how you spent your time today?" I have an app that gives me reminders like "don't eat unless you're hungry" or "have you exercised yet?" Not everyone needs that, but I really do, because I get complacent really easily.

3. Throw out one thing you do that you don't need to do--something that is mostly habit or is just another responsibility you don't need... if you can. I was able to quit one of the committees I'm usually on at my job, and it makes me less overwhelmed. If there is a hobby or activity that you barely care about anymore and that you can afford to abandon, it might clear your mind a bit.

I agree with all of this. I set SMART goals. SMART is an acronym for specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. If your goals are vague, outlandish, and without a time limit you are going to flounder. Taking smaller steps makes it easier to achieve and have a better sense of success. Also, tell a friend about your goals and ask them to help you stay on track.

My alarm is a mindfulness bell app on my phone. It rings once an hour between certain hours of the day. For me, it helps me to stay on track by making me take a minute to decide if what I'm doing is productive or if I should be concentrating on something else. It is very easy for me to get absorbed in time sinks (like this board, Pinterest, Twitter, etc.) and say "I'll do that work later". Except when later comes I end up running around to get everything done at once and feel overwhelmed. I took it off of my phone and I need to put it back on.

In the same vein as throwing out something you don't need to do, give yourself some downtime if you aren't already. I think a lot of people overlook the importance of doing something for themselves. Exercise, read a book, set aside time before bed where you shut off everything and just relax. It can help.

You might benefit from seeing a life coach who specializes in organizing or going to a seminar on how to be more organized. If you think you may have ADD/ADHD or another similar disorder then talk to your doctor. There is no shame in asking for help. But the biggest thing is to actively seek what helps you and forget about the things that don't.

 

[Bowielee]

I think this might apply to a lot of people here on this board. Our community seems to be chock full of people who are really smart with varying degrees of success in applying it.

I myself am a huge procrastinator who largely puts things off due to a deep seated fear of success. Even when I do get awards and accolades, I don't feel that I deserve them. I feel like I'm conning people into believing I'm better at doing things than I actually am. From what I've found out by talking to people who are successful, they all seem to share that same feeling.

One of the biggest things about overcoming that sort of feeling is realizing that most people feel that way.

 

[PatrThom]

I know NOTHING about medical stuff, and I know the term is overused, but doesn't this sound like a real ADHD? Might not someone with these issues be the real reason we invented medicine like Ritalin?

It is, but since Ritalin (and similar substances) are considered high-level controlled substances, they aren't the sort of thing you can just run down to the corner store and purchase. I've already talked about this in another thread, but I will just say again that I still feel cheated by our country's zero-tolerance, black-and-white approach to mind-altering substances.

--Patrick

 

[PatrThom]

Hahaha... When I read it, my first thought was that it was you!

When I first checked the board, I had to think whether or not I had posted it. Part of the reason I posted my reply was basically to proclaim, "Not me!"

--Patrick

 

[Shakey]

I wish I knew how to help, I've got the same problem. It's part of what's got me so down lately. I know I could have done so much more in my life, and can still do more. It's hard for me to get more than a few days into changing it though. I couldn't even get through all of @stienman's post. Maybe I should just bight the bullet and talk to a doctor at some point.

 

[Anonymous]

I posted anonymously because i didn't want anyone to think I was being conceited, but it seems I'm far from alone. I have been diagnosed with ADD (not ADHD, which tends to be more of a childhood thing) before. I had difficulty because I was diagnosed by a psychologist, who referred me to my GP for a prescription. My GP refused to believe the diagnosis, saying that I would not have been as successful in life as I have been if it were true. Really felt like giving him an earful. Refused to write the scrip. Also, I sort of have a thing against medication. Too much of my old man in me.

Some things have worked with some success. I use the Pomodoro technique. The problem is that all these techniques require you to self-enforce. Eventually, the pomodoro timer fails to inflict sufficient fear. Scheduling and planning don't really work. GTD didn't work. An immediate, hand-written goal list sort of works. I totally sympathize with the feeling of fraudulence. Even when I legitimately feel I did the work and did it well, in my mind I know I should've done it in 1/20th the time.

 

[Espy]

Ditto what Stienman said. That is AWFUL. Screw that guy, go find another GP.

 

[GasBandit]

I concur. Time for a new doctor.

 

[Bowielee]

I'd suggest seeing an actual psychiatrist who can both diagnose and prescribe the proper mediation.

 

[phil]

So a friend of mine struggles with focus as well. I don't know all of what he does but I'll ask and see if I can get some more concrete stuff. I know one thing he does is this system of time management and project management. Basically it consists of getting a folder for every day of the month. As things pop up that you're going to need to do, you put them into whatever day it needs to be done. If you have a paper due, than a week before it's due you put in that day's folder a reminder to write that paper. Maybe you put a reminder in every folder leading up to the due date. If you have bills due, you put them in the folder for the day it's due or the day you're going to pay them or whatever. Every day you open that day's folder and do what's in your list and move that folder to the back in preparation for tomorrow.

So if you have a project, you can break that project down into steps and put them in the folders accordingly. I think he said that this has helped for breaking projects down into more basic steps and really getting to the heart of finding that first step to really get something done, you know? Figuring out what's the one thing you could do right now to accomplish your larger goal.

I think he also has an app that he uses to make certain things like a game. Like he checks in every time he does laundry and that gives him EXP or something and it's like a little game now. I'll see if I can get him to tell me what it is.

 

[PatrThom]

I think he also has an app that he uses to make certain things like a game. Like he checks in every time he does laundry and that gives him EXP or something and it's like a little game now. I'll see if I can get him to tell me what it is.

I remember that app. I keep meaning to look it up.

--Patrick

 

[phil]

https://habitrpg.com/static/front

 

[PatrThom]

Some recent research has shown a definite link between lactates and mental focus, so we now have scientific proof that exercise/physical activity will help keep you more mentally solid. No word on whether this effect can be achieved by oral supplementing, though.
Perhaps @MindDetective can weigh in on this?

--Patrick

 

[MindDetective]

Some recent research has shown a definite link between lactates and mental focus, so we now have scientific proof that exercise/physical activity will help keep you more mentally solid. No word on whether this effect can be achieved by oral supplementing, though.
Perhaps @MindDetective can weigh in on this?

--Patrick

I can't say I'm surprised. The number of hormone (such as the case you described) and neurotransmitter signal pathways in the body must be astonishing and and we've barely scratched the surface on them, I suspect.

 

[Anonymous]

I can say this though: I exercise quite a bit and I am in excellent shape. It does indeed help in the immediate thereafter, but that clock resets by the next day.

 

[PatrThom]

I can't say I'm surprised. The number of hormone (such as the case you described) and neurotransmitter signal pathways in the body must be astonishing and and we've barely scratched the surface on them, I suspect.

It also makes me wonder whether this isn't the mechanism by which the (ahem) LACTObacilli interact with the vagus nerve, which could go a ways towards explaining this whole probiotic mechanism, and why the folks who have healthy, flourishing gut bacteria report having reduced sugar cravings (and better mood) compared to non-probiotic dieters.

--Patrick

 

[PatrThom]

Just thought I should drop this here.

(SoundCloud embeds don't always work here, so you can also click here to go to there directly)

--Patrick

 

[Anonymous]

Lot of good advice here. I do appreciate it, and I'm trying some of it out.

Hmm. Anonymity fails by process of elimination on a small forum.

 

[PatrThom]

Good thing we're not small!

--Patrick

 

[Necronic]

Just give yourself some advice, or even more simply, "Oh yeah, I know what you mean!"

Good call, I know what you mean!

I'd suggest seeing an actual psychiatrist who can both diagnose and prescribe the proper mediation.

I would not rely on a psychiatrist to diagnose, they are pretty bad at it. In my opinion they don't actually have the proper training to do the diagnoses (since psychiatry requires an MD they actually spend far less time studying mental health than a clinical psychologist), and I think eventually should may have that right removed. Also they try to fit a full diagnosis into a 15 minute meeting. If you want to be sure about the diagnosis go to a psychologist, like you did, for a good diagnosis, and then ask the psychologist to refer you to a psychiatrist for a prescription. There are actually some practices out there that have combo Psychologists and Physicians assistants who can write scripts, those are the best. Or, if you want to try cognitive behavioral therapy you could try that. I don't know if I have ever heard of a psychiatrist offering that.

That said, if you really want medication? Go to a psychiatrist. I guarantee you will be out the door with a script in 15 minutes.