Fighting depression

[ncts_dodge_man]

Now most of you don't really know me that much (I lurk more than post - just how I am), but here goes my question for Dave (and anyone else who wants to chime in).

I have been fighting depression for many years (at least 9) - usually was only seasonal, but it has "updated" itself into full depression now - was officially diagnosed with mild depression the day before I got laid off from my job last September (what a great way to help your depression, eh?).

So far the meds that were prescribed to me don't do anything (generic of Zoloft) - I currently can't afford to go back in and get a prescription for anything else. I took a pay cut from what I was making before I got laid off for my current temporary job (ends at the end of June. I'm trying to find something permanent again (which sucks when you have depression more than when you don't - it seems not many places seem to want an IT Admin here and/or are willing to talk to me for some reason). My insurance that doesn't cover mental health either (not like it covers much of anything anyway - didn't even pay for my son's 15 month checkup last fall - am doubting they'll cover his 18 month checkup that we just got (at 20 months)).

I knew before I got officially diagnosed that it's depression (perhaps a bit of minor bipolar thrown in - not official or anything) - I lose interest in doing almost everything that I usually find enjoyable - I have to force myself to do some things (other than spending time with my 20 month old).

So I guess my question is, besides getting into the Dr again (costs $$) or seeing a councilor (again, costs $$ from as far as I can find - plus harder to do since my temp job has me working from noon to 8:30 pm (with 1/2 hour lunch break) and an hour of travel time), is there anything I can do to help keep myself from being so dang depressed? I chase after my son and try to spend as much time with my wife as I can (which is hard to do since she works in fast food with her own screwy schedule), so that's already something I try to do.

 

[Element 117]

None of this constitutes medical knowledge, just 17 years of personal experience:
Basics
Do you live in the US? If yes, look around your city/state/county for sliding scale mental health therapists. If you're bad off, they can set aside your fee. Google can help with finding them. 1-800-THERAPIST Most larger areas have some sort of help, while more rural areas tend to lean towards faith based counseling. Getting perspective on your issues from a trained professional is the best next step, but in the meantime, write down the things that used to make you happy, and try to do as many of them as you can budget allowing. Make time, even if that means getting up early. Get more sunlight. It helps you feel better, as does general exercise. Volunteer to help other people in a weekly or daily commitment. Helping others can distract you from your own pain. Get enough rest. Sleep is important, and you can take a mild sleep aid to help. You should also rent this book from the library: "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy." Dumbest name ever for a good book to bootstrap yourself out of bad moments.

Hard Times
If you have a rough spot, recognize that your emotions and their causes are temporary, and not really based in reality ( I don't have any money, so I can't buy my kid ____, I'm the worst parent in the world etc) and just step back from them as they happen. Busywork helps with the hardest hours, and being with caring friends and family helps fight the tendency to isolate yourself, which further worsens depression. Avoid alcohol, and drugs, as they have a tendency to act as "downers," and your money is better spent doing something else.

Dark Moments
If you find yourself in a recursive hole of pain, and are facing a decision with permanent consequences, call someone. (If you are alone, call 1-800-999-9999 ) Talk with them about this issue, or don't, but do talk, and give yourself time and distance to rationally think through a decision you would regret. Sleeping on any major decision like this helps put it into perspective, and no matter how bad it gets, there is always a better option than taking the choice made mid despair and pain.

 

[ncts_dodge_man]

Avoid alcohol, and drugs, as they have a tendency to act as "downers," and your money is better spent doing something else.

Heh - not a problem - I don't drink (had a bottle or two back when I turned 21 9 years ago), don't smoke (have problems breathing around people that do), and "recreational" drugs don't interest me in the slightest.

I've never been really in a "dark" place where I've ever thought about doing any harm to myself (or anyone else) - I just lose interest in doing things that I normally do for fun.

I'll look into the sliding scale therapy people, though, thanks for that info.

 

[PatrThom]

Plus there are the boards. Seems to work for many of us.

--Patrick

 

[ThatNickGuy]

Speaking as someone who has battled it for decades, I can say that it's an uphill battle. It's tough as hell, but it's not impossible. Damnit, I wish I had more time to go into details. If you do a search on the forums here for a post called "10 Years", there's a video I posted.

Anyway, if I can recommend a book, there's one that helped me quite a bit: "Feeling Good" by David M. Burns.

 

[Dave]

I have never had depression and I fear that this is one of those things that unless you experience it personally you have no idea what it's like. It's like men & childbirth - there's no way we can ever know.

Amy's post and Nick's story (which I can't seem to find as the HF search function is not as robust as I'd like) both are more informative than anything I could say. I could certainly commiserate but it would be nothing but empty platitudes and meaningless droning. But know this - even though I can't fathom what you and others are going through, my phone is always on and if you find yourself in a dark place you are welcome to call me at home. The hour doesn't matter (as long as it's not a prank call - I have to justify it to my sleeping wife!) as you are more important than my sleep. If you need my number you can always look me up online as I'm in the book.

I may not be able to offer any real advice about this, but you have a lot of people here you can talk to, joke at or argue with.

 

[ThatNickGuy]

 

[drawn_inward]

Fantastic vid TNG. I'm sure it was cathartic to make. Good luck Dodgeman. I sadly don't have any advice.

 

[ncts_dodge_man]

Thanks for the replies, all. I'll have to check out TNG's vid here later - right now my only internet is at work - I only get to check during downtime and not at all over the weekends - should be getting internet at home again next month (cost of moving and all). May post more after I get to listen to it after all my other coworkers go home by 5.