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Demographics: Processed cheese

Jan 2, 2014#1

strawman

Processed cheese, known to many as "American Cheese", is manufactured cheese product and isn't allowed to be labeled for sale as authentic cheese, but is popular due to its low melting point and low cost. Many manufacturers omit the word "cheese" altogether on the packaging.

Jan 2, 2014#2

drawn_inward

It's most definitely cheese if you do it right!
http://www.americastestkitchenfeed.com/do-it-yourself/2011/09/how-to-make-american-cheese/

And, it makes tasty grilled cheese, quesadillas, and nachos! :cool:

But outside those applications, I don't use it.

Jan 2, 2014#3

Dave

I don't mind it, but other countries think we're nucking futs for eating it.

Jan 2, 2014#4

WasabiPoptart

It's gross. I have used Velveeta for certain things, like Rotel's queso dip, because it has a good consistency for it. But if I'm given a choice between eating "cheese product" and a real cheese, I am going for the real thing. I love cheese with crackers or fruit. The Stilton with apricots we had on NYE was amazing!

Jan 2, 2014#5

HCGLNS

I don't consider it to be a cheese at all.

Jan 2, 2014#6

ThatNickGuy

It's disgusting and wasteful. Just give me a block of cheese and I'll cut it myself.

Jan 2, 2014#7

Emrys

I like it for grilled cheese sandwiches but that's about it. I prefer my cheese to taste more like cheese and less like the plastic it's wrapped in.

Jan 2, 2014#8

Gared

Grilled cheese sandwiches, omelettes, that dip you make by melting a block of Velveeta with a couple cans of chilli, easy cheese from the can on Chickin' in a Biscuit crackers, cheese fries, cheese-steaks, ham or turkey and cheese sandwiches to be dipped in soup on a cold winter's night, cheeseburgers... my wife thinks I'm nuts, but in the right situation, I love the stuff.

But never, ever, under any circumstances should you buy a knock-off brand of it. They don't melt at all.

Jan 2, 2014#9

PatrThom

If you mean that thing which is labeled as "American pasteurized cheese food product," then I am not a big fan of it except for its convenience and its use in certain recipes*.

Given the choice, I tend to prefer things which, when bent, break apart along visible curd fracture lines. They may not melt as smoothly, but they brown/crisp up better when fried, and the taste is often superior.

--Patrick
*And even in recipes, there are usually blends of "real" cheese which can approximate the desired qualities of the fake stuff well enough to substitute. Full disclosure...I am currently eating a bowl of homemade cheesy scalloped potatoes which have a potato-to-dairy ratio of approximately 4:1, and they are amazing.

Jan 2, 2014#10

Dave

Gared said:
But never, ever, under any circumstances should you buy a knock-off brand of it. They don't melt at all.

My wife and I bought knock-off brand American cheese once and the dogs wouldn't eat it! They'd take it from us, but then spit it out. These are creatures that lick their own assholes, but they won't eat that cheese!

Note that they love Kraft American or Velveeta singles. Cheese snob dogs, is what they are.

Jan 2, 2014#11

PatrThom

Dave said:
they love Kraft American or Velveeta singles.

This opens the possibility that Kraft American or Velveeta singles might remind them of the taste of their own assholes.

--Patrick

Jan 2, 2014#12

sixpackshaker

ThatNickGuy said:
It's disgusting and wasteful. Just give me a block of cheese and I'll cut it myself.

/sigh

just like your prom night.

Jan 2, 2014#13

ThatNickGuy

I don't understand that one.

Jan 2, 2014#14

sixpackshaker

ThatNickGuy said:
I don't understand that one.

disgusting, wasteful, and cutting the cheese...

Jan 2, 2014#15

Emrys

Jan 2, 2014#16

Cajungal

I definitely agree with @ThatNickGuy that individually wrapped slices of cheese(?) is pretty wasteful. I won't turn down American if I'm making a sandwich and that's all that's available, but I really prefer real cheeses. I don't make many cheese sauces or dips, so I don't have much use for Velveeta.

Sent from my ASUS Transformer Pad TF700T using Tapatalk

Jan 2, 2014#17

David

Don't love it as much as I used to anymore, but I still enjoy it for sandwiches and grilled cheese. Tried it for a cheese omelette once and found it not as good for that application as plain cheddar. I agree though that the individually sliced packaging is rather wasteful and I should probably avoid purchasing it on those grounds. You can find blocks of Tillamook presliced for easy sandwiches with nothing but small pieces of paper separating the slices (still inefficient but I presume not as bad as shrink wrapping each individual slice in plastic).

Jan 2, 2014#18

GasBandit

As an experiment, I once unloaded a can of EZ-Cheez (the spray-cheese-in-a-can!) on a slice of bread and left it in the yard for 2 weeks.

Nothing touched it. No animal, no insect, nothing.

And it didn't even rot.

Jan 2, 2014#19

David

GasBandit said:
As an experiment, I once unloaded a can of EZ-Cheez (the spray-cheese-in-a-can!) on a slice of bread and left it in the yard for 2 weeks.

Nothing touched it. No animal, no insect, nothing.

And it didn't even rot.

Not that EZ-Cheez is healthy, but this doesn't really prove much other than "The food preservation process we've been tweaking with the last few thousand years is working as intended."

Jan 2, 2014#20

Cheesy1

Won't that be an interesting find for archaeologists thousands of years from now:

"What the hell did they use THIS for?"
"Maybe they ate it?"
". . . You're an idiot, Ted!"

Jan 2, 2014#21

jwhouk

Given my current location, I can say that yes, I do eat the stuff. The reason, of course, is obvious: it's cheaper.

Given my proclivities, I'd rather use provolone for most of what I use cheese for (sandwiches).

Jan 2, 2014#22

klew

Remember back when some guy in Congress wanted to rename French fries to Freedom Fries? Jon Stewart made a joke about it on The Daily Show about how the French would now rename American Cheese as Idiot Cheese (can't find a video).

Jan 2, 2014#23

Reverent-one

I put it on grilled cheese sandwhiches, and that's about it.

Jan 2, 2014#24

Bubble181

It's not cheese.
I mean, it's a sensible enough form of, err, well, foodstuff, in its own right, and in certain recipes it's useful. It can be handy. But it's definitely not anywhere near real cheese.

Mind you, I don't eat normal cheese cold, but...really, it doesn't bear any relationship. Might as well call it yoghurt slices or milk flats, it's about as accurate.

Jan 2, 2014#25

Bowielee

Gared said:
Grilled cheese sandwiches, omelettes, that dip you make by melting a block of Velveeta with a couple cans of chilli, easy cheese from the can on Chickin' in a Biscuit crackers, cheese fries, cheese-steaks, ham or turkey and cheese sandwiches to be dipped in soup on a cold winter's night, cheeseburgers... my wife thinks I'm nuts, but in the right situation, I love the stuff.

But never, ever, under any circumstances should you buy a knock-off brand of it. They don't melt at all.

Pretty much my thoughts on the matter exactly.

Jan 2, 2014#26

GasBandit

(sung to Dance of the Hours)

It's Velveeta (tm)
Versus Cheddar
Our Velveeta (tm)
Melts much better

Cheddar's lumpy
Cheddar's oily
It drips right off your plate onto your doily

Our Velveeta (tm)
Is so dreamy
It improves your
Tetrazzini

So when the cookbook
Calls for Cheddar
Make it with Velveeta (tm), it cooks better!

Jan 2, 2014#27

strawman

Bubble181 said:
I don't eat normal cheese cold

Do you warm it up, or just not refrigerate it?

Jan 2, 2014#28

Celt Z

GasBandit said:
(sung to Dance of the Hours)

It's Velveeta (tm)
Versus Cheddar
Our Velveeta (tm)
Melts much better

Cheddar's lumpy
Cheddar's oily
It drips right off your plate onto your doily

Our Velveeta (tm)
Is so dreamy
It improves your
Tetrazzini

So when the cookbook
Calls for Cheddar
Make it with Velveeta (tm), it cooks better!

Sadly, I remember that commercial. But I do not remember the taste of Velveeta. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever (knowingly) eaten Velveeta in my life.

Jan 2, 2014#29

jwhouk

I notice there is not a person on these boards who calls American their favorite kind of cheese.

Jan 2, 2014#30

Squidleybits

How does Cheez whiz fit into this?

Jan 2, 2014#31

Frank

There isn't a single case where something made with processed cheese cannot be made better by substituting it with a real cheese of some sort.

Jan 2, 2014#32

strawman

Squidleybits said:
How does Cheez whiz fit into this?

It's the same stuff, just slightly different composition and dispensing options.

Jan 2, 2014#33

Tress

Frank said:
There isn't a single case where something made with processed cheese cannot be made better by substituting it with a real cheese of some sort.

Fuck yeah!

Jan 2, 2014#34

Bowielee

Frank said:
There isn't a single case where something made with processed cheese cannot be made better by substituting it with a real cheese of some sort.

Personally, Kraft Singles are the only good way to make a decent grilled cheese sandwich. Good cheese doesn't melt as evenly. If it's pretty much anything else, I'd agree with you, but I'll always prefer Kraft Singles for my grilled cheese needs.

Jan 2, 2014#35

Bubble181

stienman said:
Do you warm it up, or just not refrigerate it?

Well, I didn't mean it snobbishly, I meant it in the sense that I usually only eat cheese in hot dishes. I can eat Rocquefort soup or Cheddar sauce or whatever, I'm a big fan of cheese fondue, but I can't stomach even fairly mild cheeses at room temperature/refrigerated/un-slightly-melted. Makes me gag, dunno why.

Jan 2, 2014#36

Shakey

Squidleybits said:
How does Cheez whiz fit into this?

I can't buy the stuff any more. I'll sit down and eat the whole bottle with ritz crackers in one sitting. If I run out of crackers I just eat it plain. It is horrible.

Jan 2, 2014#37

Tress

Bowielee said:
Personally, Kraft Singles are the only good way to make a decent grilled cheese sandwich. Good cheese doesn't melt as evenly. If it's pretty much anything else, I'd agree with you, but I'll always prefer Kraft Singles for my grilled cheese needs.

I get where you're coming from, but sliced cheddar has always melted well enough for me. Lower heat + a lid on the pan = perfect grill in my experience.

Jan 2, 2014#38

Gilgamesh

None. I'm lactose intolerant and the lactose free cheese is garbage.

Jan 2, 2014#39

Denbrought

Bowielee said:
Personally, Kraft Singles are the only good way to make a decent grilled cheese sandwich. Good cheese doesn't melt as evenly. If it's pretty much anything else, I'd agree with you, but I'll always prefer Kraft Singles for my grilled cheese needs.

Try letting the cheese warm up for a few minutes, or preheat it for 5 seconds in the microwave or somesuch.

Also what Tress said.

Jan 2, 2014#40

strawman

I prefer my cheese sandwiches crispy, darkened, and smashed flat, so I've never had a problem with unmelted cheese.

Jan 3, 2014#41

figmentPez

Frank said:
There isn't a single case where something made with processed cheese cannot be made better by substituting it with a real cheese of some sort.

Please find me a chile con queso recipe that works as well with unprocessed cheese. No, seriously, I've been looking for one. Even famous Tex-Mex restaurants in Houston like Molina's, Ninfa's, Pappasito's, etc. all use processed cheese in their queso. It works, quickly, reliably, and a lot of people like it, including me. I'd like to try queso that's made from scratch, with me processing the cheese myself, but it's hard to find a recipe that works.

That said, I don't see anything wrong with American cheese. Saying it's not cheese is like saying pimento cheese, cheese fondue, or cheese balls (the nut covered cheese appetizer, not the crunchy cheese dust covered snack) aren't cheese. While it's technically true that they are not solely made from cheese (which is true of cheeses like a pepper jack) the good quality versions of these items are made from cheese. It's like saying that "Sour cream isn't even a dairy product!" because some things called "sour cream" have so many oils and stabilizers added that they're pretty nasty, while ignoring that you can still buy real sour cream (or even better, creme fraiche), and some stores even sell very tasty chip dip that's made from real sour cream.

If you don't like it, fine, I don't like the individually wrapped slices from Kraft either, but discounting the entire concept of processed cheese throws out a very wide range of products, some of which work quite well for certain tasks.

Jan 3, 2014#42

Jax

I've never tasted it, but I when I was in the States, I stayed very clear of it, because it didn't look like any kind of cheese that I would enjoy..

Then again, I didn't know that American Cheese is only supposed to be enjoyed melted. (which by itself says something about the quality of that cheese..)

Jan 3, 2014#43

Squidleybits

My vote is cast based on the fact that Cheez Whiz counts as well.

Jan 3, 2014#44

PatrThom

figmentPez said:
Please find me a chile con queso recipe that works as well with unprocessed cheese.

The trouble with unprocessed cheese in these recipes is that they will work well once, but they don't reheat well, like most dairy. There's probably a good chance that you can make up a batch of amazing queso dip, but you'll want to finish it all at one sitting or else it won't remelt properly.

--Patrick

Jan 3, 2014#45

checkeredhat

drawn_inward said:
And, it makes tasty grilled cheese, quesadillas, and nachos!

It does.
But if you want something that is MIND-BLOWINGLY good, try using regular cheddar. Seriously, Grilled Cheese, Quesadillas and nachos are tasty in SPITE of processed cheese, not because of it.

Jan 3, 2014#46

Denbrought

PatrThom said:
The trouble with unprocessed cheese in these recipes is that they will work well once, but they don't reheat well, like most dairy. There's probably a good chance that you can make up a batch of amazing queso dip, but you'll want to finish it all at one sitting or else it won't remelt properly.

--Patrick

You mean I have no other option but to gorge on all the delicious queso? Oh, the humanity!

Jan 3, 2014#47

PatrThom

Denbrought said:
You mean I have no other option but to gorge on all the delicious queso? Oh, the humanity!

Finishing it all in one sitting is...easier for some than others, yes.

--Patrick

Jan 3, 2014#48

checkeredhat

Then make less.
I mean you have three options here:
1) Make good food, don't finish it
2) Make good food, finish it
3) Make rubber, eat it all.

Jan 3, 2014#49

figmentPez

checkeredhat said:
It does.
But if you want something that is MIND-BLOWINGLY good, try using regular cheddar. Seriously, Grilled Cheese, Quesadillas and nachos are tasty in SPITE of processed cheese, not because of it.

Regular cheddar is not mind blowing. It's not one of the better choices for a grilled cheese, if you ask me. Now if you were to say an unripened brie, or maybe a blend of gruyere and cheddar, then I'd say you had something. There are a lot of good cheeses, or blends of cheese, that work better in grilled cheese than American or plain cheddar.

Also, I would never use cheddar on nachos if I could use a pepper jack cheese, or a blend of colby and monterey jack.

Jax said:
Then again, I didn't know that American Cheese is only supposed to be enjoyed melted. (which by itself says something about the quality of that cheese..)

If by "quality" you mean the physical properties of a cheese that has been processed in order to melt smoothly, then yes, it does indeed say something about the quality of the cheese that it functions as intended. That said, I like American cheese just fine room temperature on a sandwich.

Jan 3, 2014#50

Frank

I love that this is going to turn into steak or wiping your ass soon.

Jan 3, 2014#51

Denbrought

Frank said:
I love that this is going to turn into steak or wiping your ass soon.

Shhh, you're gonna jinx it!

Jan 3, 2014#52

checkeredhat

figmentPez said:
Regular cheddar is not mind blowing. It's not one of the better choices for a grilled cheese, if you ask me. Now if you were to say an unripened brie, or maybe a blend of gruyere and cheddar, then I'd say you had something. There are a lot of good cheeses, or blends of cheese, that work better in grilled cheese than American or plain cheddar.

Also, I would never use cheddar on nachos if I could use a pepper jack cheese, or a blend of colby and monterey jack.

If by "quality" you mean the physical properties of a cheese that has been processed in order to melt smoothly, then yes, it does indeed say something about the quality of the cheese that it functions as intended. That said, I like American cheese just fine room temperature on a sandwich.

I agree, cheddar cheese is not mind blowing compared to those cheeses. But my point is if one is convinced that processed cheese makes the best grilled cheese, or the best nachos, then one would find cheddar mind blowing. It like a child discovering they can read without sounding it out loud. Eventually, they'll get to read A Song of Ice and Fire, but for now Little Bear's Big Birthday Surprise is mind blowing enough.

Jan 3, 2014#53

Celt Z

I don't think it has to turn into that. If someone here enjoys American cheese, more power to 'em. They can have my share. Imma be over here with some smoked gouda and grapes, or maybe a brie...

Whoops, this was in reply to Frank.

Jan 3, 2014#54

drawn_inward

I put Velveeta on my well-done steak. :troll:

Jan 3, 2014#55

GasBandit

drawn_inward said:
I put Velveeta on my well-done steak.

It's how all right thinking people man up before going to therapy!

(We'll never match that one post by Wasabi, that was damn good)

Jan 3, 2014#56

drawn_inward

GasBandit said:
It's how all right thinking people man up before going to therapy!

(We'll never match that one post by Wasabi, that was damn good)

Dang - I missed that one. I hang my head in shame. Well done, @WasabiPoptart. You are the master.

Jan 3, 2014#57

strawman

drawn_inward said:
I put Velveeta on my well-done steak.

Well, you got one of the two right.

Jan 3, 2014#58

Bowielee

checkeredhat said:
I agree, cheddar cheese is not mind blowing compared to those cheeses. But my point is if one is convinced that processed cheese makes the best grilled cheese, or the best nachos, then one would find cheddar mind blowing. It like a child discovering they can read without sounding it out loud. Eventually, they'll get to read A Song of Ice and Fire, but for now Little Bear's Big Birthday Surprise is mind blowing enough.

You're making some pretty blanket assumptions about what people enjoy. I've obviously used various cheeses for different things and I still go back to Kraft singles for my grilled cheese. To me, it tastes better and melts exactly how I want it to. I am getting a definite snobby vibe from people regarding tastes in cheese.

Jan 3, 2014#59

strawman

Bowielee said:
I am getting a definite snobby vibe from people regarding tastes in cheese.

Jan 3, 2014#60

Squidleybits

Not here. I love Cheez Whiz especially the stuff with the hot peppers in it!

Jan 3, 2014#61

figmentPez

checkeredhat said:
I agree, cheddar cheese is not mind blowing compared to those cheeses. But my point is if one is convinced that processed cheese makes the best grilled cheese, or the best nachos, then one would find cheddar mind blowing. It like a child discovering they can read without sounding it out loud. Eventually, they'll get to read A Song of Ice and Fire, but for now Little Bear's Big Birthday Surprise is mind blowing enough.

Honestly, I prefer American cheese to cheddar in grilled cheese. Considering most American cheese is made with cheddar and other cheeses that I prefer to make grilled cheese with, this makes perfect sense to me.

Jan 3, 2014#62

checkeredhat

Bowielee said:
You're making some pretty blanket assumptions about what people enjoy. I've obviously used various cheeses for different things and I still go back to Kraft singles for my grilled cheese. To me, it tastes better and melts exactly how I want it to. I am getting a definite snobby vibe from people regarding tastes in cheese.

Yep. You bet. But I also get an "unable to take a joke" vibe from people regarding tastes in cheese here. Much like steak, chili, and ass wiping. It is weird what people on here take personally.

Jan 3, 2014#63

Adam

This is as bad as @Jay making a fancy home cooked meal and then putting Kraft grated parmesan on top.

Jan 3, 2014#64

Bowielee

checkeredhat said:
Yep. You bet. But I also get an "unable to take a joke" vibe from people regarding tastes in cheese here. Much like steak, chili, and ass wiping. It is weird what people on here take personally.

Sorry, never been a fan of elitism.

Jan 3, 2014#65

Adam

Bowielee said:
Sorry, never been a fan of elitism.

How very elitist of you.

Jan 3, 2014#66

drawn_inward

Bowielee said:
I am getting a definite snobby vibe from people regarding tastes in cheese.

I've got a bunch of food-snob friends that eat pork belly and foie gras and junk (I have a taste for fine things, but still eat at Taco Bell on occasion

). I made a velveeta + rotel + some white processed mexican cheese + spicy breakfast sausage for a football game party. The fancy stuff was still around at the end of the game, but my slow-cooker was empty! My wife thought that they would turn their nose up at it! Of course, I didn't tell them what was in it until afterwards! :ninja:

However, if I am going to eat cheese on it's own or on a sandwich then I'd rather have proper real cheese. I like provolone on pastrami. I like extra sharp cheddar with crackers. I like muenster or havarti on ham. I like just about every hard cheese on it's own. I don't like any of the fungal cheeses though.

Jan 3, 2014#67

fade

For the record, not all American cheese is pre-wrapped singles. You can get it in a block, or just sliced. It's okay. I'm certainly not going to avoid it because "Ermergerd! American cheese!".

Jan 3, 2014#68

figmentPez

fade said:
For the record, not all American cheese is pre-wrapped singles. You can get it in a block, or just sliced. It's okay. I'm certainly not going to avoid it because "Ermergerd! American cheese!".

Also, not all American cheese tastes the same. There are different varieties, and some taste a lot better than others. Personally I think Kraft has a metallic taste that I don't like, and the individually wrapped slices have an added plastic-y taste that makes it worse. However, the store brand from either HEB or Randall's, that aren't individually wrapped, are both pretty good, with the white American from HEB being particularly tasty.

There are some really nasty low-quality versions of American cheese out there, that make even Kraft singles seem good by comparison, though. But there's also really nasty low-quality "real" cheese out there that has no business calling itself cheddar.

Jan 3, 2014#69

BananaHands

Any cheese that doesn't need to be refrigerated creeps me out.

Jan 3, 2014#70

Denbrought

BananaHands said:
Any cheese that doesn't need to be refrigerated creeps me out.

So you only like shredded and sliced cheese? Because most cheeses don't need to be refrigerated o.o

Jan 3, 2014#71

WasabiPoptart

I get creeped out by the clear jelly that is around a block of Spam when you take it out of the can. *shudder* It's like KY for your intestines or something.

Jan 3, 2014#72

figmentPez

BananaHands said:
Any cheese that doesn't need to be refrigerated creeps me out.

Does that include parmesan and other hard, dry cheeses? Because if those aren't grated, they can last quite a while at room temperature. Even longer if their rinds are still intact. What about cheeses still in their wax? If you take a wax coated wheel of cheddar and leave it at room temperature, it'll most likely be just fine for weeks, if not months. Even semi-soft cheeses like Babybel will last for a fair amount of time at room temperature if they're still sealed in wax, though their flavor and texture will change.

I'm not aware of any processed cheese that doesn't have to be refrigerated once they're opened. Even in a refrigerator American cheese will eventually go moldy.

Jan 3, 2014#73

WasabiPoptart

figmentPez said:
Does that include parmesan and other hard, dry cheeses? Because if those aren't grated, they can last quite a while at room temperature. Even longer if their rinds are still intact. What about cheeses still in their wax? If you take a wax coated wheel of cheddar and leave it at room temperature, it'll most likely be just fine for weeks, if not months. Even semi-soft cheeses like Babybel will last for a fair amount of time at room temperature if they're still sealed in wax, though their flavor and texture will change.

I'm not aware of any processed cheese that doesn't have to be refrigerated once they're opened. Even in a refrigerator American cheese will eventually go moldy.

I have to wonder if @BananaHands is talking about how you can buy a block of Velveeta off the shelf in the grocery store. Most of the time when you buy real cheese in the store it is in an open refrigerated case.

Jan 3, 2014#74

figmentPez

WasabiPoptart said:
I have to wonder if @BananaHands is talking about how you can buy a block of Velveeta off the shelf in the grocery store. Most of the time when you buy real cheese in the store it is in an open refrigerated case.

I figured that's what he was talking about too, which is why I listed parmesan first. Many stores have refrigerated cheeses, but also have unrefrigerated displays as well, most notably hard, dry cheeses. Some stores even use giant wheels of parmesan as part of the display, storing them unrefrigerated until it's time to cut them into consumer sized portions.

Jan 3, 2014#75

BananaHands

figmentPez said:
Does that include parmesan and other hard, dry cheeses? Because if those aren't grated, they can last quite a while at room temperature. Even longer if their rinds are still intact. What about cheeses still in their wax? If you take a wax coated wheel of cheddar and leave it at room temperature, it'll most likely be just fine for weeks, if not months. Even semi-soft cheeses like Babybel will last for a fair amount of time at room temperature if they're still sealed in wax, though their flavor and texture will change.

I'm not aware of any processed cheese that doesn't have to be refrigerated once they're opened. Even in a refrigerator American cheese will eventually go moldy.

I was referring to Velveeta. I didn't really think about parmesan though. Hmm.

Jan 3, 2014#76

WasabiPoptart

Heh. That's more fancy than where I usually shop, @figmentPez. They have precut wedges of hard cheese and all of it is refrigerated.

Jan 3, 2014#77

GasBandit

You know what tastes good in spicy fake cheese dip?

Twizzlers.

Jan 3, 2014#78

figmentPez

WasabiPoptart said:
Heh. That's more fancy than where I usually shop, @figmentPez. They have precut wedges of hard cheese and all of it is refrigerated.

Well, I live in an affluent suburb and some of the stores have really extensive cheese sections. I've seen such displays with whole wheels of parmesan (like, 100 pounds or so, as big around as a car tire, and as tall as two stacked) at Whole Foods, HEB and I think Kroger as well.

Jan 3, 2014#79

PatrThom

Frank said:
I love that this is going to turn into steak or wiping your ass soon.

One should not wipe one's ass with american cheese nor steak.

There, that settles it.

--Patrick

Jan 3, 2014#80

figmentPez

BananaHands said:
I was referring to Velveeta. I didn't really think about parmesan though. Hmm.

Fair enough. Maybe we can both agree that "yogurt" that does not require refrigeration is stupid:

I mean, first off, why would you want to lose the heath benefits of yogurt cultures by pasteurizing it? Second, this stuff tastes nasty. It's not yogurt, it's sugary fruit paste with yogurt flavoring. This is a pointless, waste of a product.

Jan 3, 2014#81

Shakey

GasBandit said:
You know what tastes good in spicy fake cheese dip?

Twizzlers.

I don't know why, but I want to try this...

Jan 3, 2014#82

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
You know what tastes good in spicy fake cheese dip?

Twizzlers.

Shakey said:
I don't know why, but I want to try this...

Pfft. Obviously Red Vines are the only true queso dipper.

--Patrick

Jan 3, 2014#83

BananaHands

PatrThom said:
Pfft. Obviously Red Vines are the only true queso dipper.

--Patrick

Are you all messing with me right now? There's no way that's good.

Jan 3, 2014#84

checkeredhat

figmentPez said:
Does that include parmesan and other hard, dry cheeses? Because if those aren't grated, they can last quite a while at room temperature. Even longer if their rinds are still intact. What about cheeses still in their wax? If you take a wax coated wheel of cheddar and leave it at room temperature, it'll most likely be just fine for weeks, if not months. Even semi-soft cheeses like Babybel will last for a fair amount of time at room temperature if they're still sealed in wax, though their flavor and texture will change.

I'm not aware of any processed cheese that doesn't have to be refrigerated once they're opened. Even in a refrigerator American cheese will eventually go moldy.

Story Time:
When I was in third year of college, someone opened up a Kraft single and put inside the ceiling of the third year studio. Just climbed up, moved the cheap drywall panel to the side and threw it up there.
When I was in forth year, I got my friend who was in third year to go and and check on it. No mold. No signs of decay of any kind.
After I graduated, my friend who was at that time in forth year, went into the third year studio and checked on it again. No mold. Still no signs of decay
He's still there now (medical issues kept him from graduating), I should get him to check again.

Jan 3, 2014#85

Shakey

BananaHands said:
Are you all messing with me right now? There's no way that's good.

There's only one way to know for sure.

Jan 3, 2014#86

Jay

Adam said:
This is as bad as @Jay making a fancy home cooked meal and then putting Kraft grated parmesan on top.

I'll cut you bitch

Jan 3, 2014#87

Adam

Jay said:
I'll cut you bitch

How ungrateful.

Jan 3, 2014#88

PatrThom

Adam said:
How ungrateful.

On the contrary, perhaps he is offering to perform a service for you, like "I'll pick you flowers" or "I'll cook you dinner."
Or maybe he just forgot a comma.

--Patrick

Jan 4, 2014#89

klew

Jan 4, 2014#90

GasBandit

Wow. There's not many things that can resist the Red Hot Nickel Ball like that block of Velveeta.

Jan 4, 2014#91

figmentPez

GasBandit said:
Wow. There's not many things that can resist the Red Hot Nickel Ball like that block of Velveeta.

Watermelon did amazingly well.

Jan 4, 2014#92

Emrys

Remind me not to have fondue at that guy's house.

Jan 5, 2014#93

Siska

I must live in a cheese hating part of the US. Non American cheese can only be bought in tiny little blocks. It's hard to find good sizes

That reminds me, I misplaced my old cheese cutter. I need to get a new one. This one looks good, hopefully it's wide enough.
Amazon product

Jan 5, 2014#94

jwhouk

You know the kind of cheese I hate?

Frozen cheese.

Jan 5, 2014#95

Emrys

jwhouk said:
You know the kind of cheese I hate?

Frozen cheese.

It's OK if you use it on pizza or in dip or something but eaten by itself... yeah, ick.

Jan 5, 2014#96

jwhouk

I was talking about cheese that's frozen before it even BECOMES cheese.

Poor cows here in Wisconsin...

Jan 5, 2014#97

Denbrought

Speaking of hated cheeses... My S.O. accidentally bought, months ago, a bag of shredded "cheese" (processed dairy product) that couldn't melt. It seriously would burn before changing in consistency. It was creepy, and it tasted awful in any case.

Jan 5, 2014#98

Frank

I'm kind of a weenie when it comes to cheese. I generally like soft, mild Italian cheeses like plain mozza, bocconcini (which is just another kind of mozza) and ricotta.

Jan 5, 2014#99

Gared

Denbrought said:
Speaking of hated cheeses... My S.O. accidentally bought, months ago, a bag of shredded "cheese" (processed dairy product) that couldn't melt. It seriously would burn before changing in consistency. It was creepy, and it tasted awful in any case.

I've had that in sliced form. Caught fire in the oven and never melted, shined like plastic, nasty shit.

Jan 6, 2014#100

WasabiPoptart

jwhouk said:
I was talking about cheese that's frozen before it even BECOMES cheese.

Poor cows here in Wisconsin...

But you can have fresh ice cream!

Jan 7, 2014#101

Cheesy1

Apparently the Cheesepocalypse is upon us.

Jan 8, 2014#102

PatrThom

Frank said:
I'm kind of a weenie when it comes to cheese. I generally like soft, mild Italian cheeses like plain mozza, bocconcini (which is just another kind of mozza) and ricotta.

Fontina, Gouda, Muenster, Mascarpone, Boursin, any of those on your list?

--Patrick

Jan 9, 2014#103

Dei

So I eat American cheese a lot, but it's the kind that gets sliced from a block at the deli, not Kraft singles. I grew up with Kraft singles, but now they are disgusting to me.

Jan 9, 2014#104

Morphine

"Cheese does not go bad, it just gets more expensive" would say my father whilst scraping colorful stuff from a piece of old cheese and eating it.
I live by those words

Jan 9, 2014#105

PatrThom

Morphine said:
"Cheese does not go bad, it just gets more expensive" would say my father whilst scraping colorful stuff from a piece of old cheese and eating it.
I live by those words

Mmm. Now you've made me want a good brie, with its firm, mushroom-flavored exterior and creamy, zesty insides.

--Patrick

Jan 9, 2014#106

Morphine

I'm so sorry you people don't get adobera cheese

So creamy and rich, so fresh and delicious! It melts like a bitch

Jan 9, 2014#107

jwhouk

I'm from Wisconsin. I'm pretty sure I could get some of that somewhere.

Jan 9, 2014#108

blotsfan

I don't normally like processed american but Ill use it in some recipes like poutine.

Jan 9, 2014#109

Yoshimickster

Not the best cheese in the world(also not cheese at all) but if I have some balogna I'd put it on there. I don't like it grilled though, feel it has a weird consistency melted.

Jan 9, 2014#110

Frank

blotsfan said:
I don't normally like processed american but Ill use it in some recipes like poutine.

What? Ew!

Cheese curds are not hard to come by.

Jan 9, 2014#111

WasabiPoptart

I have no idea where to buy cheese curds. Until I got on this board I didn't even know you could buy such a thing in the US.

Jan 9, 2014#112

Celt Z

I don't remember why I know this, but cheese curds are pretty easy to find the the northern-central US. I've never had one, either. I also remember hearing that they squeek when you eat them.

Jan 9, 2014#113

Tress

They have the consistency of a pencil eraser. I can't stand them, or anything with a mouthfeel similar to plastic.

Jan 9, 2014#114

PatrThom

Celt Z said:
I don't remember why I know this, but cheese curds are pretty easy to find the the northern-central US. I've never had one, either. I also remember hearing that they squeek when you eat them.

Dried curds will.

Dried is one of my favorite ways to eat cheese. I'll leave the bag open in the hopes that the end will start to harden in the fridge, just so I can get that squeaky, Slo-Poke-like texture.

--Patrick

Jan 9, 2014#115

strawman

Celt Z said:
I also remember hearing that they squeek when you eat them.

The good ones do! I've only ever had them twice though, and the second time wasn't as fresh.

I'd still like to try real poutine sometime.

Jan 9, 2014#116

Denbrought

Morphine said:
I'm so sorry you people don't get adobera cheese
So creamy and rich, so fresh and delicious! It melts like a bitch
<snip/>

I miss spanish cheeses so much T_T The only thing they get over here is overpriced mediocre "manchego" cheese.

Jan 9, 2014#117

Morphine

Denbrought said:
I miss spanish cheeses so much T_T The only thing they get over here is overpriced mediocre "manchego" cheese.

Where are you?

Also, adobera is not spanish, it's quite mexican, even in México you don't get it everywhere, my state is rich in cheese variety.

Jan 9, 2014#118

Denbrought

Morphine said:
Where are you?

Also, adobera is not spanish, it's quite mexican, even in México you don't get it everywhere, my state is rich in cheese variety.

Blargh sorry, you're right, I mistook your avatar for someone else's >_> I'm in GA, U.S.

Point stands, it seems like the more spanish-speaking the country, the better the cheeses.

Jan 9, 2014#119

Bowielee

WasabiPoptart said:
I have no idea where to buy cheese curds. Until I got on this board I didn't even know you could buy such a thing in the US.

<-- Wisconsin. Cheese. Curds. EVERYWHERE.

Jan 9, 2014#120

klew

I have trouble finding cheese curds, I hoped it would be easier to find in foodie SF Bay Area, especially with dairies around. Trader Joe's used to sell them, but no more, and what farmer's market vendors claim are curds are nothing more than cubes of cheese, not the same thing at all.

Jan 9, 2014#121

Morphine

Denbrought said:
Blargh sorry, you're right, I mistook your avatar for someone else's >_> I'm in GA, U.S.

Point stands, it seems like the more spanish-speaking the country, the better the cheeses.

I was in Spain for some months before and posted a lot about it, you probably got the impression I was still there n_n

Jan 9, 2014#122

Denbrought

Morphine said:
I was in Spain for some months before and posted a lot about it, you probably got the impression I was still there n_n

That makes sense, hah.

Jan 9, 2014#123

jwhouk

Bowielee said:
<-- Wisconsin. Cheese. Curds. EVERYWHERE.

Grocery stores, Kwik Trips, Wal-mart, corner taps...

Jan 9, 2014#124

Shakey

jwhouk said:
Grocery stores, Kwik Trips, Wal-mart, corner taps...

I think gas stations in Wisconsin along the border have more shelf space dedicated to cheese than the do the rest of their merchandise combined. It's a bit amusing.

Jan 10, 2014#125

jwhouk

You should have seen the old days in Illinois. There was this section of US 41 just south of Russell Road that had a bunch of stores that had nothing but gas, smokes, lottery tickets and margarine.

Jan 10, 2014#126

Gared

You guys joke about it, but when I moved back to Seattle from Wisconsin I had one request from a northwesterner for a gift that I should bring back for them, and it was cheese shaped like Wisconsin. Which I dutifully bought at a gas station on my way out of town.

Jan 10, 2014#127

jwhouk

...That's not funny. It's true.

Jan 10, 2014#128

ncts_dodge_man

Grocery stores here in South-Central Wis usually have at least one of those open-top-sideways-is-the-long-side cooler dedicated to cheese curds.

Whenever I go to Culvers - have to get the deep fried cheese curds as my side item instead of fries.... :minionhappy:

Jan 10, 2014#129

jwhouk

You do know that you can do the "secret menu" thing at Culver's? Order a side of fries, a side of curds, and some mashed potatoes with gravy on the side... and while you're munching on mashed potatoes, you can make your Canadian friend happy?

Jan 11, 2014#130

Gared

ncts_dodge_man said:
Grocery stores here in South-Central Wis usually have at least one of those open-top-sideways-is-the-long-side cooler dedicated to cheese curds.

Whenever I go to Culvers - have to get the deep fried cheese curds as my side item instead of fries....

You tease. My wife and I flew back to Wisconsin a year and a half ago for a visit. Literally the only place I wanted to go outside of my parents' actual house was Culvers for some cheese curds, because while we do have cheese curds out here, no one's frying them. We were there for 4 days, never made it to Culvers. Been craving the damn things for two years now. Maybe this summer I'll drive to Wisconsin for some fried cheese curds. Last summer I drove 5 hours for a cheeseburger.

Jan 11, 2014#131

jwhouk

I have... COUPONS!

Jan 11, 2014#132

Bubble181

Denbrought said:
Point stands, it seems like the more spanish-speaking the country, the better the cheeses.

France, Belgium and the Netherlands would like a word with you.

Jan 11, 2014#133

jwhouk

So would the state of Wisconsin.

Jan 11, 2014#134

PatrThom

jwhouk said:
Así quería el Estado de Wisconsin.

FTFY

--Patrick

Jan 11, 2014#135

WasabiPoptart

Bubble181 said:
France, Belgium and the Netherlands would like a word with you.

Italy, too, maybe. I love a good Asiago.

Jan 11, 2014#136

Charlie Don't Surf

i haven't read one post in this thread, but the sharpest cheddar is the best cheese

well, peace, good times

Jan 11, 2014#137

Celt Z

There's only one way to settle this: Cheese Competition! Countries will present their best* cheeses for sampling. I nominate myself as Tasting Judge.

(*Velveeta need not apply. )

Jan 11, 2014#138

Cajungal

Celt Z said:
There's only one way to settle this: Cheese Competition! Countries will present their best* cheeses for sampling. I nominate myself as Tasting Judge.
(*Velveeta need not apply. )

I will join you. *puts on judge's sash I've been saving*

Jan 11, 2014#139

Bubble181

WasabiPoptart said:
Italy, too, maybe. I love a good Asiago.

Yes, but I don't have family in Italy

Jan 12, 2014#140

Denbrought

Bubble181 said:
France, Belgium and the Netherlands would like a word with you.

Do they wish to grovel at our feet in order to beg for a sliver of our cheesy greatness?

Jan 12, 2014#141

GasBandit

4 pages and no this. Travesty.

Jan 12, 2014#142

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
4 pages and no this. Travesty.

I tried to find it, but all I could find was the TV version, and I wanted the album version.

--Patrick

Jan 12, 2014#143

Bubble181

Denbrought said:
Do they wish to grovel at our feet in order to beg for a sliver of our cheesy greatness?

They're wondering exactly what animal's milk you're using to produce that plastic

Jan 13, 2014#144

jwhouk

By the way - had some Culver's cheese curds for dinner tonight.

Jan 24, 2014#145

Reverent-one

checkeredhat said:
It does.
But if you want something that is MIND-BLOWINGLY good, try using regular cheddar. Seriously, Grilled Cheese, Quesadillas and nachos are tasty in SPITE of processed cheese, not because of it.

So, decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich tonight, and remembering this thread, I used the cheddar I had instead of american.

Mind not blown. A good alternative, but not exactly "A Song of Ice and Fire" compared to "Little Bear's Big Birthday Surprise".

Jan 24, 2014#146

HoboNinja

I like it just fine.

If I am making a sandwich with bologna or prepackaged ham or turkey or whatever lunch meats I usually just get american cheese to save money.

But when I have money I go to the deli counter and get fresh(er) turkey and some colby jack or a mild cheddar.

Which honestly... American cheese doesn't taste all that different from colby or mild cheddar to me. I honestly think people just bitch about it to be snobby.

But yeah there is no beating Velvetta for cheese dip ever, like I honestly could make it with other cheeses but it would be a whole hell of a lot more expensive and time consuming... Like when we made home made gourmet macaroni and cheese that had $35-40 worth of cheese in it... and took like 2-2.5 hours to prepare... Just not worth the time, effort, or money to not use Velvetta.

Jan 24, 2014#147

Cheesy1

Glad to see you still around, Hobo.

Jan 24, 2014#148

HoboNinja

Cheesy1 said:
Glad to see you still around, Hobo.

Yeah I saw TNG posted on the Double Fine forums and got some nostalgia and had to visit

Jan 24, 2014#149

DarkAudit

Quick! Lock the doors!

Now you're stuck with us. FOREVER.

Jan 24, 2014#150

Bowielee

Come play with us HoboNinja

Forever, and ever, and ever...

Jan 25, 2014#151

strawman

HoboNinja said:
American cheese doesn't taste all that different from colby or mild cheddar to me.

The biggest difference for me is the texture and slightly greasy feeling. I can eat it, but I don't prefer it.

Jan 25, 2014#152

HoboNinja

stienman said:
The biggest difference for me is the texture and slightly greasy feeling. I can eat it, but I don't prefer it.

Yeah and I suppose if I just ate it by itself yeah it tastes and feel a whole lot different.

But on a deli sandwich that has a meat and maybe oregano and olive oil or mayo, and some lettuce I can't really tell them apart much.

Feb 13, 2014#153

drifter

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