Burning question for this new age of man

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Jake

Jake

So, Facebook (stop reading now if that makes you cringe for some reason). I use it, I like it. The only real hitch in my Facebook world is the old high school acquaintances.

Most people I got along with just fine and I like to see what they're up to. Some people send me friend requests and their names only tickle a couple neurons, but what's the harm in approving them. Actually, I felt bad for one girl that I friended, but could barely remember, so I dropped her and she sent me another request a couple weeks later saying "I don't know what's wrong with my Facebook, people just keep disappearing for no reason!" :(

So today I get a request from a guy that tormented me pretty steadily from about 11-15 years old. After that, I was a bit to large and popular to comfortably mess with, but it was still clear up through graduation that he was a douche with no love lost on me.

So why am I wasting a thought on this instead of instantly flushing his request? Do I need to be "grown up" about it and add him? And most importantly: why the fuck does even part of my brain think it matters?
 
Tinwhistler

Tinwhistler

I personally would send him a message along the lines of "are you fucking kidding me?" and then flush the request.

Life's too short wasting it on giving douchebags a second chance to screw you over.
 
J

JCM

Ignore it, its not like everyone checks their facebook daily, Ive got an add request on orkut from an ex from a year back that I never bother to accept.
 
Cajungal

Cajungal

Staff member
I clear out my friend list frequently. When I first joined, I just reached out to a bunch of alumni to get any kind of list at all and get connected to more people I knew. But now I can flush out the people I don't really talk to.

I've gotten e-confronted about it, but I calmly explain that we never speak, and I'd rather keep people I communicate with regularly on my list. Sometimes I'll give them an old email address that I check maybe once a month if they really need to be pacified that badly.

I flushed my buddy's ex-girlfriend, someone with whom I NEVER spoke, and it seriously hurt her feelings. There's wanting to network, and then there's pathetic and needy. If you don't want to talk to him, just ignore it. You probably won't be much better OR worse off for it.
 
W

Wasabi Poptart

^^ This

I friended a bunch of my old high school classmates because our reunion is coming up in October and I can't make it back home. I'm planning to clean house in January to get rid of the people I don't talk to or don't care enough about to keep on my list. If I were you, I'd friend the guy just to see what he has to say. If he's still a dick you can always kick him off of your friends list.
 
Jake

Jake

It's odd. I don't really have anything to say to the guy. But, high school was almost 20 years ago and he could be a totally different person that I might have a lot in common with. I doubt he's the twat he used to be, but I suppose it's possible. It just feels like it would be petty to hold his behavior as a teenager against him when we've lived a teenage lifetime since then.

I'm going to ignore the request (I guess if he's matured, he'll understand why), but I was just unprepared for how much the choice seemed to matter to me.
 
Bellygrub

Bellygrub

I don't remove anyone from my friends list but rather hide them on my update wall if I don't want to be bothered with reading what they have to say every thirty seconds.

I don't think I actually communicate with anyone through Facebook on a regular basis. Well I know I don't. I'll occasioinally blow through and see who's poping out a kid or who's "crazy party pics" have been posted. Otherwise..it's just there.
 
Shegokigo

Shegokigo

Facebook? More like Lamebook? Amiright?

Aaaanyway, the only reason I have a Facebook is to stalk ex's.....

As for the subject at hand? I would have flushed it the moment I got it. Wouldn't even dignify it with a response.
 
S

Singularity.EXE

I've yet to deny a friend request, I just add everyone and hide their updates. This was terrifying the other day though when Facebook decided to unhide about 50 people and I was like 'wtf.'

As far as old tormentors go, I was kind of the elementary school bully and I am not Facebook friends, and talk to quite a bit, the kids I picked on. Its weird though.
 
klew

klew

I've gotten requests from former high school people that I had never seen since graduation, they get rejected. Some of them had moved away, but seem to be in regular contact with some of my local friends, so they get consideration. New people that I just meet (friends of friends), I wait until at least a second face-to-face meeting, that way I know I'll probably be seeing more of them in the future. I never accept requests from parents of friends or current workmates (former workmates, perhaps).
 
Jake

Jake

There are some advantages to approving schoolmates you hardly spoke to. There was one skinny little Iranian girl in my little brother's class that I recently approved. At 14, not so much to look at. At 32, super-hot, stacked and not afraid to show it off.
 
Silver Jelly

Silver Jelly

Jake said:
There are some advantages to approving schoolmates you hardly spoke to. There was one skinny little Iranian girl in my little brother's class that I recently approved. At 14, not so much to look at. At 32, super-hot, stacked and not afraid to show it off.
Click to expand...
And that's what Facebook is really for! Am I right?
 
fade

fade

Staff member
I had an old bully genuinely apologize to me on FB. Heartfelt and all. Talked about what an ass he was. Of course, he's terminally ill, which probably helped spur things along a little. The worst part about this guy was that we were the best of friends in elementary and middle school. Then we start high school, and he mutates into an asshole.
 
bhamv3

bhamv3

I accept everyone as long as I know who it is. Even if I don't particularly like the person, it's not like he's doing me any harm sitting there in my friends list. If he starts being an ass to me on Facebook I could always just remove or block him.

Sometimes I'm tempted to remove the people who just go on Facebook to take those inane quizzes though. I open my Facebook home page and it's nothing but quiz results.
 
Shegokigo

Shegokigo

fade said:
I had an old bully genuinely apologize to me on FB. Heartfelt and all. Talked about what an ass he was. Of course, he's terminally ill, which probably helped spur things along a little. The worst part about this guy was that we were the best of friends in elementary and middle school. Then we start high school, and he mutates into an asshole.
Click to expand...
Karma's a wonderful bitch sometimes ain't she?
 
Gusto

Gusto

I have like 11 pending friend requests. Just because they are people I don't want to talk to or have them see my updates or whatever, and ALSO I know as soon as I ignore their request they'll just send it again.

My pending requests page = my shitlist.
 
I

Icarus

I steer clear of high school "friends". High school was pretty much a "grin and bear it" experience, with a lot of ****s who thought I was "asocial" because I wanted to do things my way i.e. don't just go to parties and get drunk. Anything that wasn't popular to do, was lame. Reading books? Lame. Playing games? Lame. Don't like the same music? Lame.

In the last year of high school, I would go to an empty class room which had a couch (it was bit of a store room) where I'd read books I rented: 1984, Brave New World, Edgar Allan Poe, Lord of the Rings, Discworld, etc. etc. So many excellent books which are classics in the US and the UK, but NONE are well known in Belgium. Edgar Allan Poe? Who's that? Discworld? Wha? In any case, I was considered a loser for enjoying them.

So why would I want to add these to Facebook? Heck, I didn't even answer to their mail asking to come to the reunion. I'm sorry but I'm not interested. The only friend I had turned out to be a closet neo-nazi who ended up wearing an SS ring and singing Jungend Liedern while waiting for the bus, so I consider that part of my past closed.
 
C

Chazwozel

I generally accept all my acquaintances in life. My firm rule for people I barely talked to is that if they post a million bullshit quizes on my wall in under 3 days, they get das booted.

I enjoyed high school, for the most part, and got along fine with people, but I don't really like the thought of turning my facebook into class of 2000 reunion.
 
Cajungal

Cajungal

Staff member
^God, THAT. The worst person on my friend's list is a friend of my mother's who talks like she's 15 years old. Semi-word for word status from a few days ago:

"Sushi and movie nite w/ my honneeeyyyy! LOLL!!!!! DOES LIFE GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS?!?!??!?!??!?!?!??!??!?!?"

And all her comments after the half-dozen quizzes she takes per day are very similar.
 
HowDroll

HowDroll

I generally don't friend strangers, people that I regularly interact with on HF aside, and every few months I'll prune my friends list and remove people I haven't talked to in awhile. Of course, that means that my friends list has only 58 people, but honestly, if you send me a friend invite just to boost the size of your list but don't ever deign to even say hello, fuck you. I'm not around just to make your e-peen longer.
 
S

Singularity.EXE

MindDetective;260943][quote=Singularity.EXE said:
As far as old tormentors go, I was kind of the elementary school bully and I am not Facebook friends, and talk to quite a bit, the kids I picked on. Its weird though.
Click to expand...
This sentence is completely mind-bending. I keep reading it over and over trying to make it sound right...[/QUOTE]

Haha wow, that must've been the morning tiredness. Let me try again.

As far as old tormentors go, I was the school bully in elementary school. I have befriended some of the kids I picked on within Facebook, and speak to them regularly.

I think the confusion is that its supposed to read:
"and I am *now* Facebook friends."

But that still isn't very comprehensive.
 
phil

phil

I don't think I've ever rejected a request. The only person I un-friended was my brother's ex girlfriend. It was just weird. I've considered un-friending ex girlfriends of friends too, and probably will but just haven't gotten around to it yet.

I like adding people who I haven't seen in a while, because to me this is what facebook is really for. I haven't seen a lot of these people in years, but not because we had a falling out or anything negative but just because our lives took us in different directions. It's nice to see an old friend and see what they've been up to.
 
C

Chazwozel

HowDroll said:
I generally don't friend strangers, people that I regularly interact with on HF aside, and every few months I'll prune my friends list and remove people I haven't talked to in awhile. Of course, that means that my friends list has only 58 people, but honestly, if you send me a friend invite just to boost the size of your list but don't ever deign to even say hello, fuck you. I'm not around just to make your e-peen longer.
Click to expand...
heh, I have a theory that the number of friends a person has online is inversely proportional to how much of a dope they are in actuality. No one directly knows over 600 people! My list is about 80 for facebook, and I think I'm pushing the limits.
 
O

Occasional Poster

On my first FaceBook account, I would accept pretty much every friend request and send out requests to almost everyone that was referred to me that I had met personally. After a couple of years (has it really been that long since FaceBook started?), the whole site had naturally spiralled into chaos for me with all the tedious application spam and notifications. So I deleted the account.

After a six-month hiatus, I carefully started a new account. Privacy settings as high as they get, low to no photo tagging, only I select who to be friends with.

It's only been a couple of weeks now but it is working well. I get the event invitations I need (some people are really weird about giving you information in person or e-mail when "it's available on FaceBook" :facepalm:), I get the photos I want and I can message the people I actually want to write to.

I am still a bit wary though. If the old crowd of idiots manage to find me I will probably have to start to reject friendship requests or deactivate the account. I'm not much for confrontations and people can be really strange about it, so I hope that I can manage to fly under the radar.


lol, reading this post I really come off as an internet snob who takes things too seriously. Which might of course be true. I guess my first experience with FaceBook was just too tiring.
 
klew

klew

Chazwozel;261000][quote=HowDroll said:
I generally don't friend strangers, people that I regularly interact with on HF aside, and every few months I'll prune my friends list and remove people I haven't talked to in awhile. Of course, that means that my friends list has only 58 people, but honestly, if you send me a friend invite just to boost the size of your list but don't ever deign to even say hello, fuck you. I'm not around just to make your e-peen longer.
Click to expand...
heh, I have a theory that the number of friends a person has online is inversely proportional to how much of a dope they are in actuality. No one directly knows over 600 people! My list is about 80 for facebook, and I think I'm pushing the limits.[/QUOTE]

It seems to be a carry-over from MySpace - more friends = more popular, even if you don't know them. Facebook treats "friends" of celebrities as "fans" which makes sense. I have 47 friends, some are family, and some are overseas, but we communicate regularly.
 
Fun Size

Fun Size

I'll add almost anyone who puts in a request. I enjoy Facebook as a way to keep tabs on a few close friends I don't see much because we all moved, but beyond that it's really just a chance to occasionally glance at what all of these people are up to, occasionally adding a smart ass remark to someone's status.

Now that I think about it, it's a lot like this place.
 
E

EpicEpileptic

Meh, just do what I did to my current boss and operations manager. Leave them in 'Friend Limbo' as I like to call it (Don't accept them as friend but don't deny them either) and leave them there for a minimum of at least six months and then when it's time to finally decide on if you should accept them or not, only let them view your limited profile and make all your photo albums not available to those only allowed to see your limited profile.
 
T

Twitch

I add most people and then remove them in a spree every few months. As a result I have about 200 friends who I will purge around New Years. There are some people that I consider at least Demi-friends that I add and think "I'll just limit what they can see" but I never do and then I get my doctor, my Highschool counselor/coworker, and a close friends father commenting on photos of me doing lines off of a hooker (this is an exaggeration)
 
Krisken

Krisken

I add most anyone who requests and then promptly forget about it. I figure if I don't get a message from them, there really isn't any harm done. Even the douchenozzles from high school.

In almost any case where someone tormented you in school, they've probably forgotten about it or regret it. It's amazing how most of that stuff would make chapters in our lives but wouldn't even make footnotes in theirs.
 
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