You might be an ass if...

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The customer is always an ASSHOLE.
You're glowing.

Anyway, this one drives me up a fucking wall. You come to an upscale mall, you drive a nice car and you've got your kids (who you're sending to a very pricey private school) with you. You then proceed to whine to me about a sandwich costing you 6 dollars and act like it's my fault.

Also, old people who complain about prices in general. I know it's not as cheap as when you were young, and no you don't always get a discount just because you're ancient.
 
I've got one, for the asshole who drove up to me even though the parking lot was barricaded off- Yes, the barricades are there for a reason. Private Event: No Parking means only people going to the private event can park there. No, you shouldn't jump the curb to drive over to me so you can ask if you can park there. No, the guy attending the parking lot across the street who saw you jump the curb and manages that building does NOT want you to work on his electrical wiring. Too stupid to drive means he doesn't want you electrocuting yourself on his property.
 
...if you talk about trying to lose weight and eat better and then tell someone they are being annoying when they try to help keep you in line. If you don't want people to help keep you accountable, don't complain bout wanting to lose weight and eat better.
 
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Chazwozel

I think fat people who can't walk, and thus use handicapped spaces are assholes.

You handicapped yourself, asshole.
 
Same with the scooters that stores like target and walmart have. Those aren't so you don't have to move your fat ass, it's for someone with perhaps a broken leg, or some other real injury who can't walk easily.
 
I have to agree with Chaz and Phil. I'm a tubby dude and even *I* hate this. In fact, because of my size, a leisurely walk around Wal-Mart for an hour burns a good chunk of calories. My wife and I will actually walk around the entire store, if only just to get a little bit of exercise in. Sure, I might be a little sweaty after we are done (nothing too bad), but it's much better than sitting in a scooter, putt-putting around the store like some pathetic waste that got themselves in the situation in the first place.
 
It ticks me off because my 72 year old, overweight Mom walks in those stores. She my use the shopping cart to lean on from time to time, but she's on her own 2 feet.
 
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Chazwozel

You know what else makes you an ass: If you're a fat fuck and you blame your situation on genetics. Yes, I can agree that genetics (leptin secretion etc) may prevent you from being your target BMI, and you can be overweight for the rest of your life (I'm fine with this). But that doesn't give you an excuse to be a 700 lbs tub of goo.
 
You know what else makes you an ass: If you're a fat fuck and you blame your situation on genetics. Yes, I can agree that genetics (leptin secretion etc) may prevent you from being your target BMI, and you can be overweight for the rest of your life (I'm fine with this). But that doesn't give you an excuse to be a 700 lbs tub of goo.
Ugh, my grandparents used to do this. They were morbidly obese and ate junk food daily, but the weight problems were all because they have slow metabolisms and they were just born that way. :rolleyes:

Side note, you might be an ass if you go through all the pain and cost of having surgery to help you lose weight, then refuse to listen to your doctor about improving your diet and exercise. Gee, I wonder why all that weight came back a few years later?
 
I have a lady I work with that claims to have thyroid issues. Yet, I see her clipping for coupons for and listen to her talk about eating some really crappy food. She says "i have no idea how you are able to lose weight and I can't...it has to be my stupid thyroid". It's easier to claim it's something outside of her control rather than the Tombstone Pizza, Chef Boy-ar-dee ravioli, chips, candy, hot dogs, etc that she's eating (and feeding her two kids). RIIIIIIGHT. Apparently, her doctor put her on blood pressure medicine but when I talked to her about ways to change her diet to help that out, her response was "yeah...i'll just take the pills, it will help".

My previous post wasn't about her, for the record, but man does it apply.
 

Cajungal

Staff member
Auuuugh people who use those scooters just because they're fat and lazy, I hate that too. And I hate the stupid-ass parents who let their kids play on them... then they break and the people who need them can't use them.
 
Yesterday I saw someone driving one, and at first me and my brother were wondering why she needed one because she looked young ( 20 something young ) until she got closer and we saw she was ready to give birth any day. It made me feel good to see someone like that using it instead of someone with just no excuse.
 
I almost ran into a lady in one of those scooters today. She was in the road, driving (riding?) against the flow of traffic. What the fuck.

So, you might be an ass if you are that lady.
 
You might be an ass if, in the middle of officers handling an armed robbery investigation, you take it upon yourself to a) direct traffic at a nearby intersection where, admittedly, the power was out, but traffic was flowing without issues and b) to curse out officers for not handling this very pressing issue.

Also if, nearby, another officer has the road blocked off due to a fallen power line and is sitting in his car, amidst a forest of bright orange cones and barricades, writing said robbery report, and you decide to call and complain that the officer is being lazy and not directing traffic in the direction already indicated by the cones and barricades.
 
M

Matt²

guy parks in my parking space at 7:31am (according to my security cameras).. I get to work at 8:40am and promptly call a tow truck. There are 2 (TWO) signs stating if you park here and eat at the restaurant next door, you will be towed. Does he bother to read? No. Does he get upset at the tow truck driver and me when the tow truck got here? Hell yes! Called me a prick and said he would do everything he could to get me out of business. All for him parking illegally.
 
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Chazwozel

So just this morning, I was knocked over on my ass by a fat guy in a Rascal scooter (or whatever the fuck they're called). I was crossing the intersection on the way to work when he came flying down the other side. He proceeds to yell at me as I'm on the ground and he's wheeling away, that I should watch where I'm going. As he turns (I guess he was going too fast for the damn thing), he tips over and falls. Nothing is funnier than poetic justice, especially watching it writhe around crying and trying to jello mold its way back into the cart.

I helped him out, I tipped the cart right again, and helped him pull himself up. Fucking jerk never even thanked me. Oh well.
 
I was walking a user through a fix on the phone. She asks me "Is this going to screw everything up? Do you know what I mean?"

"No. And thanks for that vote of confidence."
 
E

Element 117

So just this morning, I was knocked over on my ass by a fat guy in a Rascal scooter (or whatever the fuck they're called). I was crossing the intersection on the way to work when he came flying down the other side. He proceeds to yell at me as I'm on the ground and he's wheeling away, that I should watch where I'm going. As he turns (I guess he was going too fast for the damn thing), he tips over and falls. Nothing is funnier than poetic justice, especially watching it writhe around crying and trying to jello mold its way back into the cart.

I helped him out, I tipped the cart right again, and helped him pull himself up. Fucking jerk never even thanked me. Oh well.
That's awesome. His karma will be a heart attack death on the toilet, I'm sure.
 
You know, I'm an obese guy with a bad leg, and I still don't use those scooters. I rarely use a cane, for that matter.

There's a young woman even larger than I am, that rides around the neighborhood on a tiny moped. Sounds like it's got a tinny little maybe 5hp two-stroke engine, like a hedge-trimmer or something. It's like a bear on a minibike at the circus - kind of hilarious but you risk death by laughing at.
 
...if you take my lunch bag out of and put it on top of the community fridge so that you can fit your oversized bag in.
 
C

Chibibar

... if you ate all my last two ice cream sandwich that was in a box, place in a brown paper bag, and in the back of the fridge with my name on it.
 
Truth be told, I worked at place when I was 19 or 20 and always drank some lady's Slimfast. Not because I needed to lose weight (at least not back then), but because I started craving chocolate/vanilla. I hated the strawberry and once she figured that out, I stopped drinking them. I worked the night shift and she worked the day, so we never directly crossed paths. The day before I quit, I put $40 in an envelope on her desk with a note saying I was sorry.
 
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Element 117

Truth be told, I worked at place when I was 19 or 20 and always drank some lady's Slimfast. Not because I needed to lose weight (at least not back then), but because I started craving chocolate/vanilla. I hated the strawberry and once she figured that out, I stopped drinking them. I worked the night shift and she worked the day, so we never directly crossed paths. The day before I quit, I put $40 in an envelope on her desk with a note saying I was sorry.
$40, how many did you drink?
 
I never understood the thieving co-worker. They are just stealing from some one just as poor as they are. It really pissed me off when it was happening in the teacher's lounge. These chuckle heads are supposed to be examples to the next generation, and they are thieves...
 
Truth be told, I worked at place when I was 19 or 20 and always drank some lady's Slimfast. Not because I needed to lose weight (at least not back then), but because I started craving chocolate/vanilla. I hated the strawberry and once she figured that out, I stopped drinking them. I worked the night shift and she worked the day, so we never directly crossed paths. The day before I quit, I put $40 in an envelope on her desk with a note saying I was sorry.
$40, how many did you drink?[/QUOTE]

Somewhere around 20 over the course of a few months. And I felt pretty guilty at the end. Surprisingly enough, I went through a pretty bit growth period then as a person and realized just how crappy what I was doing was.

---------- Post added at 11:19 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:18 AM ----------

I never understood the thieving co-worker. They are just stealing from some one just as poor as they are. It really pissed me off when it was happening in the teacher's lounge. These chuckle heads are supposed to be examples to the next generation, and they are thieves...
For me, it was the thrill of knowing I was going to ruin that part of, or the whole, day for the person when they opened the fridge for their snack. Control? I dunno. I was a whirlwind back then...I didn't care about who I hurt or what I did as long as it served my own personal agenda.
 
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