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You might be an ass if...

Aug 12, 2010#1

KCWM

A local sports radio morning show has a semi regular segment with the same name. There are some obvious behaviors that come to mind and then there are some less common things that people do that make you scratch your head and wonder if they were ever taught courtesy or manners. This isn't necessarily indicative that people ARE asses, just that they might be if they display the behaviors.

So what examples do you have? Here are the first three that came to mind for me.

Office - if you try entering the elevator before allowing people inside of it to exit first

Office - if you enter an elevator, see someone coming, and hurry to push the "close door" button so that they have to wait longer...even worse when there are a limited number of elevators

Grocery store - if you leave your cart in the middle of the aisle so that people going either way have a hard time going around you, the whole time yapping away on your phone so loud that people two aisles over can hear you

Aug 12, 2010#2

Chazwozel

KCWM said:
A local sports radio morning show has a semi regular segment with the same name. There are some obvious behaviors that come to mind and then there are some less common things that people do that make you scratch your head and wonder if they were ever taught courtesy or manners. This isn't necessarily indicative that people ARE asses, just that they might be if they display the behaviors.

So what do you have?

Office - if you try entering the elevator before allowing people inside of it to exit first

Office - if you enter an elevator, see someone coming, and hurry to push the "close door" button so that they have to wait longer...even worse when there are a limited number of elevators

Grocery store - if you leave your cart in the middle of the aisle so that people going either way have a hard time going around you, the whole time yapping away on your phone so loud that people two aisles over can hear you

None of these things. Surprised? I know I am.

From my experience, M.D.s are the fucking worst with elevator etiquette. Funny story, as I was exiting out of an elevator I bowled a doctor over as he was rudely trying to rush in before everyone got off. Being 240 lbs and 6'1" has its advantages.

Aug 12, 2010#3

KCWM

I try to be courteous at the elevator and let women in first. What gets me is when I wait, they don't go, so I take a step and THEN they decide to go. When they bump into me, I get the worst "go to hell" look. Sometimes I sarcastically say, "by all means, go ahead" and make a big, exaggerated gesture with a slight bow. Office divas/princesses are some of the worst.

Office/Deli - if you cut in line because you feel like you aren't entitled to wait like everyone else.

I actually had a situation this morning while I was in line to order at the deli downstairs. This girl walks up, cuts in front of me, and starts giving her order. The cook just looks at her and says "I think the guy you cut in front of was next". She pulled the silent, disgusted gasp face that over-indulged princesses-in-their-own-mind are prone to doing and kind of stomped off. I chuckled and he wrote my order down (he remembers it).

Aug 12, 2010#4

Frankie Williamson

Home - You and your girlfriend get home from a vacation. You've had all day to do your fucking laundry but decided you needed to rest from your tiring trip to the Caribbean. You decide to tie up the machines moments before your room mate gets home from his 5th 12 hour shift in a row. He has to be at work again in 8 hours for one more, but he is out of uniforms. You tell him you'd rather let your own stuff get done because you are tired from the trip and want to be in bed. He doesn't punch you in the fucking face but he fucking waits for you to finish so he can do get his shit in. He waits patiently as you and your girlfriend watch his TV. By the time he is able to get his shit into the drier and go to bed, he's looking at 4-5 hours of sleep tops. You and your girlfriend continue to watch TV.

Maybe I should have posted this in the not so serious I want to rant thread.

Aug 12, 2010#5

LittleSin

HOME- If you keep eating the food made for the baby. WTF. Seriously. There's a cupboard full of shit here and you eat the straw berries I cut up for the kids lunch? Don't look so pissed off when I tell you to not do it wither and certainly don't ask me to make you lunch when I'm in the middle of ironing YOUR shirts.

GRAH!

Aug 12, 2010#6

Espy

you park your Prius in 2 parking spaces.

Also: if you drive a Prius.

Aug 12, 2010#7

KCWM

Espy said:
you park your Prius in 2 parking spaces.

Also: if you drive a Prius.

I'll take it a step further and say if you park your car at an angle, over two or more spots, if you pull forward into a second spot, or if you park your car with the butt end of it sticking out so that traffic has to swerve out of the way.

...if you leave your shopping cart in the middle of a parking space, and doubly so if that parking space is ONE space over from the shopping cart bin! I'm a fat man and I'll walk my cart down to the bin AND push it in with the other carts to make more room.

Ugh, parking lots are full of them!

Aug 12, 2010#8

checkeredhat

If you talk on your cellphone while in line at the grocery store or other place of business, then give the cashier or person behind the counter the one finger "Wait one minute" gesture so you can finish your phone call.

---------- Post added at 05:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:17 PM ----------

Espy said:
you park your Prius in 2 parking spaces.

Also: if you drive a Prius.

No joke, I once encountered a shitbox "suped up" (It had a spoiler and some lights) Honda Civic parked accross two handicap parking spots; the middle of it blocking off the wheelchair ramp.

Aug 12, 2010#9

Cheesy1

You wait until I'm almost right on you to pull out in front of me onto the road, forcing me to slam on my brakes hard. Then you go about 5-10 miles below the speed limit. And since I'm the guy right behind you, I'm the last one who gets a chance to pass you as everyone else behind me goes around us first.

The grocery store is not a playground, and letting your kids run through the aisles at full speeds while you completely ignore them is NOT cool. Put a leash on them and be a freakin' parent.

Aug 12, 2010#10

General Specific

People who ask your opinion of something just so they can tell you theirs.

Aug 12, 2010#11

Necronic

If you tailgate.

If you tailgate, and then when the person gets over, you don't pass them.

If you tailgate, and then when the person gets over, you pass them, cut in front of them, and slam on your brakes.

If you tailgate motorcyclists (seriously, this should be a felony offense)

If you are driving anything less than 10 over the speed limit in the hammer lane (traffic permitting)

If, when coming to a lane merging, you wait till the last minute to merge because there is no one in your lane.

If, when in a traffic jam, you drive on the shoulder to get past everyone.

If, when in a traffic jam, you move into an exit lane then re-merge.

If you drive a prius.

If you park ANYTHING that is not a compact car, in a compact only space. Your sedan....its NOT COMPACT

Aug 12, 2010#12

Troll

Chewing with your mouth open. It's nasty and rude. Doubly so if you start talking without covering your full mouth as well.

Aug 12, 2010#13

sixpackshaker

He's not a total ass, but a co worker stops at all the offices behind me and talks for 10 minutes at each door... The whole time he is jingling $3 worth of nickles and dimes in his pocket. I end up listening to an out of rhythm rendition of "Sleigh Ride" everyday that lasts for over half an hour.

Aug 12, 2010#14

KCWM

if you ask someone's advice and then argue why their advice is wrong.

if I ask you if certain food is OK and then you complain about how much you don't like that kind of food.

Aug 12, 2010#15

Troll

Asking the waiter at a restaurant numerous questions about a particular dish, which takes forever, then ordering something else.

Aug 12, 2010#16

Piotyr

Restaurant -
- Not tipping at least 15% for a meal that came to you hot, on time, and which you ate in entirety
- Completely ignoring your screaming child while seated at your table (and yes, I know he's likely just trying to get attention, but it's still rude)
- Not at least making an attempt to keep your children at your table when eating
- Chewing gum while serving tables
- Not bringing food to the table hot, and then acting like it's the customer's fault when it isn't hot

Computer Helpdesk - customers/clients
- Walking in and assuming your problem is immediately the highest priority thing everyone should be doing
- Expecting the IT staff to do your papers/projects for you because you can't be bothered to actually learn how to use a computer
- Assuming all IT repair work should be free because you pay tuition
- Assuming that because you pay tuition you pay my salary and have a right to tell me how to do my job

Aug 12, 2010#17

KCWM

grocery store/department store - if you wait until the clerk gives you your total before you take the checkbook out and start filling out the check. How about you fill the everything except the amount on the check while you wait? Inconsiderate jerks.

edit: location of offense updated

Aug 12, 2010#18

Covar

...your favorite sports team comes from Philadelphia.

Aug 12, 2010#19

checkeredhat

KCWM said:
grocery store - if you wait until the clerk gives you your total before you take the checkbook out and start filling out the check. How about you fill the everything except the amount on the check while you wait? Inconsiderate jerks.

....Your grocery store takes cheques?

I do agree though, I hate when people don't have their wallet out, or even their cards out, ready to pay. Its particularly bad with certain women. Reason being that they have to go routing through their purse to find their wallet, while men generally just have to grab it from their pocket.

In a similar vain: standing in line for fast food or coffee and talking about how ridiculous the long line is, and not making a decision about what to order until you get to the counter. Ass.

Aug 12, 2010#20

fade

Boston national pastime. Extra points if there's not actually a lane to the left.

---------- Post added at 07:24 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:23 PM ----------

Forum:
...you begin your post with "Um...".

Aug 12, 2010#21

sixpackshaker

Um, I don't find that funny...

Aug 12, 2010#22

phil

If you expect to be taken to the back room and given a hand job because you regularly come to a target. Also, letting people know that you won't be shopping there anymore.

Every time someone would tell me they aren't coming back I wanted to make them swear to that.

Aug 12, 2010#23

Krisken

I encountered an dink at the grocery store today who pushed her cart down the center of the parking lot lane with us driving slowly behind her. Then, as she was starting to move out of the way, the person with her moved from out of the way right into our driving path. I figure that counts as the behavior of an ass.

Aug 12, 2010#24

Chazwozel

checkeredhat said:
If you talk on your cellphone while in line at the grocery store or other place of business, then give the cashier or person behind the counter the one finger "Wait one minute" gesture so you can finish your phone call.

---------- Post added at 05:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:17 PM ----------

Espy said:

you park your Prius in 2 parking spaces.

Also: if you drive a Prius.

Click to expand...

No joke, I once encountered a shitbox "suped up" (It had a spoiler and some lights) Honda Civic parked accross two handicap parking spots; the middle of it blocking off the wheelchair ramp.

Angeling parkers are the only people in my book that deserve a dent or keyed.

---------- Post added at 03:42 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:40 PM ----------

fade said:
Boston national pastime. Extra points if there's not actually a lane to the left.

I do this all the time for merging lanes; NOT single lanes to a turning lane like the diagram shows. It's not my fault people are too stupid to use both lanes up to the merging point, but they get pissed off when I "cut" in front of them at the merge point.

---------- Post added at 03:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:42 PM ----------

Necronic said:

If you tailgate.

If you tailgate, and then when the person gets over, you don't pass them.

If you tailgate, and then when the person gets over, you pass them, cut in front of them, and slam on your brakes.

If you tailgate motorcyclists (seriously, this should be a felony offense)

If you are driving anything less than 10 over the speed limit in the hammer lane (traffic permitting)

If, when coming to a lane merging, you wait till the last minute to merge because there is no one in your lane.

If, when in a traffic jam, you drive on the shoulder to get past everyone.

If, when in a traffic jam, you move into an exit lane then re-merge.

If you drive a prius.

If you park ANYTHING that is not a compact car, in a compact only space. Your sedan....its NOT COMPACT

Click to expand...

This is being smart, not an asshole. Everyone should use both lanes to the fucking merge point and then let one car in after the other.

---------- Post added at 03:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:46 PM ----------

Troll said:

Chewing with your mouth open. It's nasty and rude. Doubly so if you start talking without covering your full mouth as well.

Click to expand...

In China, the opposite is true. This is a cultural thing.

---------- Post added at 03:48 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:46 PM ----------

Piotyr said:

Restaurant -
- Not tipping at least 15% for a meal that came to you hot, on time, and which you ate in entirety
- Completely ignoring your screaming child while seated at your table (and yes, I know he's likely just trying to get attention, but it's still rude)
- Not at least making an attempt to keep your children at your table when eating
- Chewing gum while serving tables
- Not bringing food to the table hot, and then acting like it's the customer's fault when it isn't hot

Computer Helpdesk - customers/clients
- Walking in and assuming your problem is immediately the highest priority thing everyone should be doing
- Expecting the IT staff to do your papers/projects for you because you can't be bothered to actually learn how to use a computer
- Assuming all IT repair work should be free because you pay tuition
- Assuming that because you pay tuition you pay my salary and have a right to tell me how to do my job

Click to expand...

I can tell you don't have kids.

Aug 12, 2010#25

Troll

Chazwozel;426869][QUOTE=Troll said:
Chewing with your mouth open. It's nasty and rude. Doubly so if you start talking without covering your full mouth as well.

In China, the opposite is true. This is a cultural thing.[/QUOTE]

I know that. Japan too. And since I DON'T LIVE IN ASIA, IT'S RUDE.

Really, your comment could be used on anything on this list. Kinda pointless.

Aug 12, 2010#26

General Specific

...you run a red light with a tanker truck. Saw this coming home from the store today. Our light turned green, then a tanker comes through the intersection at full speed.

Aug 12, 2010#27

KCWM

if you're in a movie theater when your kid starts crying and you don't get up to take them out. I don't have children, but this is incredibly rude. I understand not wanting to miss a part, but if you don't want to worry about missing parts because of your kids, don't bring them to the movies.

Aug 12, 2010#28

Piotyr

Chazwozel;426869][/COLOR][QUOTE=Piotyr said:
Restaurant -
- Not tipping at least 15% for a meal that came to you hot, on time, and which you ate in entirety
- Completely ignoring your screaming child while seated at your table (and yes, I know he's likely just trying to get attention, but it's still rude)
- Not at least making an attempt to keep your children at your table when eating
- Chewing gum while serving tables
- Not bringing food to the table hot, and then acting like it's the customer's fault when it isn't hot

Computer Helpdesk - customers/clients
- Walking in and assuming your problem is immediately the highest priority thing everyone should be doing
- Expecting the IT staff to do your papers/projects for you because you can't be bothered to actually learn how to use a computer
- Assuming all IT repair work should be free because you pay tuition
- Assuming that because you pay tuition you pay my salary and have a right to tell me how to do my job

I can tell you don't have kids.[/QUOTE]

I do have a kid. When he acts up in a restaurant to the point of annoying the other patrons, I deal with him, not ignore him. If it happens a lot, we take a break from restaurants until he can learn to be civil in a public place.

EDIT: The issue I'm referring to is a time I was at a restaurant (with my kid, mind you), where the kid at the table next to us was literally screaming his head off (not crying, just yelling at the top of his lungs) the entire time we were there to eat. The waitress tried to get the mother to at least address it, but the mother just ignored the kid and kept talking on her phone the whole time. Her other 2 kids were running all over the restaurant as well. That's just not being a responsible and courteous parent. That's being an asshole.

Aug 12, 2010#29

fade

Chazwozel said:
I do this all the time for merging lanes; NOT single lanes to a turning lane like the diagram shows. It's not my fault people are too stupid to use both lanes up to the merging point, but they get pissed off when I "cut" in front of them at the merge point.

Man, I couldn't disagree more. Zooming up to the merge point slows down everybody because it's a single funnel point.

Aug 12, 2010#30

Piotyr

KCWM said:
if you're in a movie theater when your kid starts crying and you don't get up to take them out. I don't have children, but this is incredibly rude. I understand not wanting to miss a part, but if you don't want to worry about missing parts because of your kids, don't bring them to the movies.

In the same vein, bringing your under-10 kids to a horror/Rambo-esque action/thriller movie. I know you may want to see the movie, and it can be hard to find a dependable babysitter, but this is not the answer.

Aug 12, 2010#31

Shakey

fade;426888][QUOTE=Chazwozel said:
I do this all the time for merging lanes; NOT single lanes to a turning lane like the diagram shows. It's not my fault people are too stupid to use both lanes up to the merging point, but they get pissed off when I "cut" in front of them at the merge point.

Aug 12, 2010#32

sixpackshaker

I just find that counter intuitive, it seems that cutting in at the last second forces the car behind you to stop. I really mean cutting... not trying to match speed and slide in, but cutting to where there will be a wreck if the other does not stop.

Aug 12, 2010#33

Piotyr

I think the bigger asshole is the guy who doesn't let people merge in front of him, and tailgates the guy in front of him to prevent other people "beating" him to the merge. That is the guy that is going to cause the accident.

Aug 12, 2010#34

Chazwozel

fade;426888][QUOTE=Chazwozel said:
I do this all the time for merging lanes; NOT single lanes to a turning lane like the diagram shows. It's not my fault people are too stupid to use both lanes up to the merging point, but they get pissed off when I "cut" in front of them at the merge point.

Man, I couldn't disagree more. Zooming up to the merge point slows down everybody because it's a single funnel point.[/QUOTE]

No, if everyone uses both lanes like they're supposed to to the merge point, and every car lets one car in ahead of them, traffic moves much smoother. It's far better than everyone fuck piling into a single lane 10 miles before the merge point.

Aug 12, 2010#35

fade

Shakey;426896][QUOTE=fade;426888][QUOTE=Chazwozel said:
I do this all the time for merging lanes; NOT single lanes to a turning lane like the diagram shows. It's not my fault people are too stupid to use both lanes up to the merging point, but they get pissed off when I "cut" in front of them at the merge point.

Aug 12, 2010#36

Shakey

sixpackshaker said:
I just find that counter intuitive, it seems that cutting in at the last second forces the car behind you to stop. I really mean cutting... not trying to match speed and slide in, but cutting to where there will be a wreck if the other does not stop.

It was a while ago, but if I remember right they said that it basically creates the merge point farther back. That causes traffic to begin to slow down farther back, creating a longer traffic jam.

Aug 12, 2010#37

Chazwozel

Piotyr said:
I think the bigger asshole is the guy who doesn't let people merge in front of him, and tailgates the guy in front of him to prevent other people "beating" him to the merge. That is the guy that is going to cause the accident.

YES!

Aug 12, 2010#38

Shakey

Marbles don't slam on brakes, speed up in spite, and generally try to be an ass though.

Aug 12, 2010#39

fade

You could say the same about the single merge point though.

Aug 12, 2010#40

Chazwozel

fade;426924][QUOTE=Shakey;426896][QUOTE=fade;426888][QUOTE=Chazwozel said:
I do this all the time for merging lanes; NOT single lanes to a turning lane like the diagram shows. It's not my fault people are too stupid to use both lanes up to the merging point, but they get pissed off when I "cut" in front of them at the merge point.

Aug 12, 2010#41

Espy

Shakey;426896][QUOTE=fade;426888][QUOTE=Chazwozel said:
I do this all the time for merging lanes; NOT single lanes to a turning lane like the diagram shows. It's not my fault people are too stupid to use both lanes up to the merging point, but they get pissed off when I "cut" in front of them at the merge point.

Man, I couldn't disagree more. Zooming up to the merge point slows down everybody because it's a single funnel point.[/QUOTE]

Yep, it's terribly sensible to use the merge point.
There was a deal on the news recently where they were talking to a DOT spokesperson and they basically said they made it a merge point for a reason. You should go up to it and then merge in. Merging in before slows both lanes down and causes a longer line of traffic.[/QUOTE]
Yup, it's terribly sensible to use the merge point.

Aug 12, 2010#42

fade

Chazwozel;426934][QUOTE=fade;426924][QUOTE=Shakey;426896][QUOTE=fade;426888][QUOTE=Chazwozel said:
I do this all the time for merging lanes; NOT single lanes to a turning lane like the diagram shows. It's not my fault people are too stupid to use both lanes up to the merging point, but they get pissed off when I "cut" in front of them at the merge point.

Man, I couldn't disagree more. Zooming up to the merge point slows down everybody because it's a single funnel point.[/QUOTE]

There was a deal on the news recently where they were talking to a DOT spokesperson and they basically said they made it a merge point for a reason. You should go up to it and then merge in. Merging in before slows both lanes down and causes a longer line of traffic.[/QUOTE]

I'd want to test that. Imagine a funnel full of marbles versus a funnel with a straw in the chute filled with marble sized holes.[/QUOTE]

Yeah but traffic doesn't move three dimensionally, it moves in a single line to begin with. Two single lines to a merge point = a short single line which becomes two single lines again after the single lane is over. If you merge before that point you essentially create a longer single line.[/QUOTE]

Well, without the chaos and psych, the average speed should technically be identical in both cases, the more I think about it. The problem is that as you get closer people are more likely to let you in. I prefer AME's zipper because the drivers coolheadedness is proportional to distance from the merge.

---------- Post added at 08:37 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:37 PM ----------

Ooops, I meant to tie this back to what you said by saying the chaos introduced by the marbles and the third dimension simulates driver unpredictability.

Aug 12, 2010#43

DarkAudit

It's not being an asshole, it's the law. PennDOT now posts large signs reading "USE BOTH LANES TO MERGE POINT"

Aug 12, 2010#44

Troll

You might be an ass if you take sports rivalries TOO seriously. Smack talk is fine (even expected), but when you start physical fights over wearing the wrong type of jersey (or if you're the coach and you kick a fan out for it) you cross the line.

Aug 12, 2010#45

Chazwozel

Which traffic flow will move smoother? A because the bottleneck is shorter. Cars get out of it faster and allow the backlog (cars behind the merge point) to enter faster and congest tighter (pack more cars at the bottleneck and prevent traffic from backing up a far distance behind). All you do by merging early is extend the length of the single lane and prevent cars from getting into the freed up point faster thus backing up traffic further and further back.

Aug 12, 2010#46

sixpackshaker

I am also looking at it through the lens of Interstate Highway travel. Where you drive in the right and pass on the left. If there are a string of cars that form in the right lane that is doing close to the speed limit: then some one hops out of that lane that is doing 60-ish and hammers to the merge point... he is being an ass. Because he causes a chain reaction of hard breaking. 15 people have to panic stop because he wanted to pass 3 cars before the merge.

When it is stop and go traffic, yes going to near the choke point is acceptable.

Aug 12, 2010#47

Chazwozel

sixpackshaker said:
I am also looking at it through the lens of Interstate Highway travel. Where you drive in the right and pass on the left. If there are a string of cars that form in the right lane that is doing close to the speed limit: then some one hops out of that lane that is doing 60-ish and hammers to the merge point... he is being an ass. Because he causes a chain reaction of hard breaking. 15 people have to panic stop because he wanted to pass 3 cars before the merge.

When it is stop and go traffic, yes going to near the choke point is acceptable.

Aug 12, 2010#48

Azurephoenix

People who stop in the middle of a damn highway because they are idiotic drivers and missed their turnoff... so they stop and wait for traffic to go by so they can make their turn.

I almost wiped out a family yesterday due to this... DON'T STOP ON A FAST MOVING ROAD ESPECIALLY BEHIND A HILL!! Assholes!

Aug 12, 2010#49

sixpackshaker

State "keep right" laws

Texas slower 545.051(b) DOT may post "left lane for passing only", 544.011. Passing on right prohibited except on one-way roadways, 545.057.

The Uniform Vehicle Code states:

Upon all roadways any vehicle proceeding at less than the normal speed of traffic at the time and place and under the conditions then existing shall be driven in the right-hand lane then available for traffic ...

Note that this law refers to the "normal" speed of traffic, not the "legal" speed of traffic. The 60 MPH driver in a 55 MPH zone where everybody else is going 65 MPH must move right. Contrast Alaska's rule, 13 AAC 002.50, allowing vehicles driving at the speed limit to use the left lane, and Colorado rev. stat. 42-4-1103, prohibiting blocking the "normal and reasonable" movement of traffic.

(Enforcement for failing to keep right while at or above the speed limit is variable. Toledo police have ticketed truck drivers for driving at the 60 MPH speed limit in the left lane. Police looking for criminal activity are aware of the "keep right" law and will use it as an excuse to stop a suspicious car. On the other hand, a New York judge announced that he would not convict drivers for blocking speeding traffic, People v. Ilieveski, 175 Misc. 2d 943; 670 N.Y.S.2d 1004 (Monroe County N.Y. 1998), and most police find speeding easier and more profitable to enforce.)

Aug 12, 2010#50

Element 117

politics, religion, steak, merging in traffic.

Excuse me, I need to go buy a Prius now.

Aug 12, 2010#51

Piotyr

Chazwozel;426972][QUOTE=sixpackshaker said:
I am also looking at it through the lens of Interstate Highway travel. Where you drive in the right and pass on the left. If there are a string of cars that form in the right lane that is doing close to the speed limit: then some one hops out of that lane that is doing 60-ish and hammers to the merge point... he is being an ass. Because he causes a chain reaction of hard breaking. 15 people have to panic stop because he wanted to pass 3 cars before the merge.

When it is stop and go traffic, yes going to near the choke point is acceptable.

There is NOTHING in any drivers manual about slow and fast/passing lanes and right lane cars having to yield to left lane cars. BOTH lanes are acceptable to drive in at whatever the speed limit says. Now don't get me wrong, I consider the left lane the passing lane, but you don't have to just pass in that lane. If you want to drive at speed limit, it's perfectly legal.[/QUOTE]

It's a Illinois law that cruising in the left lane is illegal, such that cops can enforce it when someone is slow and blocking traffic in that lane. There are also signs all over that say "Slower drivers keep right". Driving in the left lane when you are not either passing cars in the right lanes or in a heavy traffic area is illegal around here.

EDIT: On the interstate highways, that is.

Aug 12, 2010#52

Espy

.Amy. said:
Excuse me, I need to go buy a Prius now.

Gotta trade that hummer in for something

Aug 12, 2010#53

Element 117

Espy;426985][QUOTE=.Amy. said:
Excuse me, I need to go buy a Prius now.

Gotta trade that hummer in for something

[/QUOTE]

oh, that kind of Hummer. Right.

Never driven/ridden one.

The SUV I mean.

Aug 12, 2010#54

Espy

:wtf:

Aug 12, 2010#55

Null

Not that I can afford either, but I think the Ford Fusion Hybrid looks like a better all-around car than the Prius. Or the Camry Hybrid, for that matter.

Aug 12, 2010#56

CynicismKills

Troll said:
Asking the waiter at a restaurant numerous questions about a particular dish, which takes forever, then ordering something else.

UUUUUUUUUUUGH THIS.

Also, if you come up on your cell phone, point to what you want and don't listen to the options of sides and such. Hope you like chips when you could have had soup or fruit.

Also, if you have a line of nearly 30 people behind you and after waiting for nearly 5-10 minutes yourself, never bothered to find a menu or figure out what you want to eat.

If you get upset when we can't get a catering order to you at 11-noon (our prime hours) because you tried to call it in at 10:45am the day of.

If you sit in a restaurant/theater/etc kind of place and just allow your kid(s) to scream and run amok because you're too lazy a parent to stop them or to leave.

Aug 12, 2010#57

ThatNickGuy

Amorous Eyes said:
Downtown - People doing the 'sudden dead stop' on a very busy shopping street.

Stores - (Small) group of people hanging just in or outside the main entrance making it hard for people to get in or out. common with grocery stores.

Both of these people will look at you funny if you attempt some crazy maneuver to avoid crashing into them or getting around them. It's like they're oblivious to how annoying they are!

This. Barrel fulls of this. Cripes, you have no idea how often this happens in Toronto. Well, proably just as often as elsewhere, but yeah.

My gripes:

Customer Service:
-When I ask for your membership card or ID, and you promptly try to give me your phone number.
-Arguing with me that you've ALWAYS used your phone number, when trust me, you haven't. Ever.
-Getting mad when I won't serve you for not having ID or a card.
-Arguing over that you returned something on time and CLEARLY, the only explanation is that we don't check the drop box enough. We do. Trust me.

Couriering:
-When I say "Print your first name here" and you just scribble something completely illegible...on the completely wrong part.
-Signing your name on half of the page in GIANT FUCKING EGO LETTERS, leaving me little room to write my driver number so I can, you know, get paid.
-Signing your name as "Joe Blow" and then laughing that "You don't even NEED a signature!"

Others:
-No goddamn signal light, causing me to nearly collide with you on my bicycle.
-When you don't look up from your precious texting to nearly collide face-to-face with me. Seriously, look where you're fucking walking.

Aug 12, 2010#58

Disconnected

ThatNickGuy;427071][QUOTE=Amorous Eyes said:
Downtown - People doing the 'sudden dead stop' on a very busy shopping street.

Stores - (Small) group of people hanging just in or outside the main entrance making it hard for people to get in or out. common with grocery stores.

Both of these people will look at you funny if you attempt some crazy maneuver to avoid crashing into them or getting around them. It's like they're oblivious to how annoying they are!

This. Barrel fulls of this. Cripes, you have no idea how often this happens in Toronto. Well, proably just as often as elsewhere, but yeah.
[/QUOTE]

i'm a walking mack truck if i'm going and some doorknob stops dead i bowl them over. happily.
for some reason i especially hate little tarts so surprised by their own goddamn cell phone ring that they have to stop dead, and throw open their satchel sized purse and dive into the bottom less pit while turning in circles and flailing about.

Aug 12, 2010#59

Cajungal

-Talking on a cell phone while ordering something/talking to someone at a desk/etc. Someone is going to misunderstand someone else, and it won't be the employee's fault. GAH. Gets me.

-This is extremely minor compared to other things, I guess, but it's a pet peeve of mine and I find it annoying because it doesn't speak to my sex very well... Any time I see an expensive car that has a sticker that says, "Daddy's Money" or "Spoiled Rotten"... any time I see a woman wearing a shirt that says "It's all about me" or something like that... I get so annoyed. Fuckin princess complex some girls have. I internally call her an asshole until she's out of my sight. To be fair, it's especially bothering me this week for a few reasons. I don't always bristle up like this about it.

Aug 12, 2010#60

ThatNickGuy

-Dropping a conversation, especially in the middle of a sentence you're speaking, to answer a text. Put the fucking phone down and talk to me.

Aug 12, 2010#61

Cajungal

AUGH. I'm the only one of my friends who apologizes if I have to take my phone out at the dinner table. Sometimes I'm expecting a call and have to take it, but I cannot STAND it when my friends just idly text and play Words with Friends while I'm having dinner with them. I told one of them, "Am I boring you?" and he finally put the damn thing away. Drives me nuts.

Aug 12, 2010#62

Philosopher B.

You might be an ass if ...

... you are located just below the back.

Aug 12, 2010#63

filmfanatic

...If you park in such a way you take up FOUR FREAKIN' SPACES!!!

Heading out to the movies, I thought I had finally managed to find a parking space amidst the crowds. Instead, I find that abomination of parking. Seriously, WTH is that driver's issue?

Aug 12, 2010#64

Cajungal

heeheehee

Aug 12, 2010#65

Krisken

Cajungal said:
heeheehee

Cajungal! It was you, wasn't it?!?!

Aug 12, 2010#66

Cajungal

:laugh: Nooooo, I was laughing at Philly B. I'm very careful when I park, too. ^_^

Aug 13, 2010#67

KCWM

I have to second the whole "...I'm NEVER come back here EVAR/I'll take my business elsewhere!!!" bit. That REALLY gets on my nerves. I heard someone pull that at Wal-Mart last night...of all places. I'm sure the employee was thinking that they wouldn't miss the ol' snaggle-toothed, poorly dressed, stinky customer who had all of 5 things in her basket.

Aug 13, 2010#68

checkeredhat

^ Man, I could fill this thread up to the 60 page limit with just retail stories, but thats what customerssuck.com is for.

Aug 13, 2010#69

fade

I've got one

...if you cite the "those who can't, teach" bit to your professor. Esp. after you screwed up.

(esp. when the prof just sold some work to the very company you constantly deify.)

Aug 13, 2010#70

KCWM

checkeredhat said:
^ Man, I could fill this thread up to the 60 page limit with just retail stories, but thats what customerssuck.com is for.

I'd rather hear personal stories from someone I "know" (as much as one can on a forum) than read them on a website that is likely blocked here at work.

Aug 13, 2010#71

checkeredhat

KCWM;427210][QUOTE=checkeredhat said:
^ Man, I could fill this thread up to the 60 page limit with just retail stories, but thats what customerssuck.com is for.

I'd rather hear personal stories from someone I "know" (as much as one can on a forum) than read them on a website that is likely blocked here at work.[/QUOTE]

Oh, not a shot at anybody or their stories. The rants I've posted have ALL come from my 8 years at Shoppers Drug Mart. I don't know what I would have done to that Honda Civic if I hadn't been in my uniform and on the clock at the time. I hope some good citizen took the time to pee on it.

Just saying that I will show some reserve and try to come up with some more original complaints.

Aug 13, 2010#72

Cajungal

fade said:
I've got one

...if you cite the "those who can't, teach" bit to your professor. Esp. after you screwed up.

(esp. when the prof just sold some work to the very company you constantly deify.)

That's pretty shitty. And if you try it on an education professor you get caught in a logical loop. :awesome:

Aug 13, 2010#73

Matt²

if you have a corvette, AND have a handicap sign for your car (differentiating from a sticker ON the car).
Pisses me right the fuck off.

Aug 13, 2010#74

sixpackshaker

Matt² said:
if you have a corvette, AND have a handicap sign for your car (differentiating from a sticker ON the car).
Pisses me right the fuck off.

But it beats a 4x4 truck with its high step in height.

Aug 17, 2010#75

Null

sixpackshaker;427393][QUOTE=Matt² said:
if you have a corvette, AND have a handicap sign for your car (differentiating from a sticker ON the car).
Pisses me right the fuck off.

But it beats a 4x4 truck with its high step in height.[/QUOTE]

OOoooh, I saw that exact goddamn thing the other day. They were in one of the handicapped spaces when I was driving my Dad (who walks with a cane) to the grocery store. So we had to park half the goddamn lot away. Fucker didn't even bother with the handicapped tag.

It bothered me until, on the way out, I saw an elderly woman repeatedly whack the side of the truck with her cane until an elderly man in a Buick with handicapped plates pulled up.

Aug 17, 2010#76

Officer_Charon

There's a reason I cite handicapped violations whenever I see them. Think I got a complaint the other day because of it, too. *chuckles*

You might be an ass if you can't shut up about your God-Damned football team, fellating them in every single conversation you have with everyone. FFS, even the former college assistant coach doesn't talk up his school's team to the extent you do.
The Cowboys? Really?

Aug 17, 2010#77

sixpackshaker

The Cowboys are Awesome!!!

I have an ass of a friend that will ask me questions about Football, and any time I bring up the Cowboys he tries to cut me off or insult me... His fave team it the 49'ers. Which he can not shut up about at all. And he's never lived near SF.

Aug 17, 2010#78

Officer_Charon

Hey, watch what you say about my Niners... *grins* It's one of those rivalries that doesn't really make sense any more, it's just engrained.

Really, I don't follow football so much... I might enjoy it more if it weren't for douches like this guy.

Aug 17, 2010#79

Troll

Ah, the glory days of the 49ers/Cowboys rivalries... those we good times...

I agree completely, btw. People who take sports rivalries WAY too seriously are obnoxious. A little bit of humorous trash-talk is fun, but it's a thin line that is often crossed into asshole territory.

Aug 17, 2010#80

Null

Besides, there's no rivalry like the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry.

Aug 17, 2010#81

Troll

Null said:
Besides, there's no rivalry like the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry.

Aug 17, 2010#82

Null

Troll;428641][QUOTE=Null said:
Besides, there's no rivalry like the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry.

Aug 17, 2010#83

Element 117

you might be an ass if:

You've ever bitched about negative rep
You've ever bitched about rep.
You've ever bitched on the net about anything.
You've posted in this thread
You're male.
You're female.
You're not male or female.

Aug 17, 2010#84

Troll

Null;428650][QUOTE=Troll;428641][QUOTE=Null said:
Besides, there's no rivalry like the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry.

Aug 17, 2010#85

FnordBear

How to deal with people who tailgate you on the highway(or anywhere for that matter)

1. get the following items from your local Wal-mart.

A water baby (in the girls toy aisle) It is a regular looking baby doll with a hollow body that is supposed to be filled with warm water to make the doll all soft and jiggly like a real baby. Also get 3 jars of strawberry preserves. (It has to be preserves, jams and jellys don't work as well).

2. Fill the water baby with the strawberry preserves until it just about to bust and dress the baby with the clothes that came with it.

3. The next time someone tailgates you, throw the baby out of your window onto their windshield. The will see a jiggly baby go flying toward them and then explode into a pile of bright red and chunky gore.

4. Profit.

Aug 17, 2010#86

Hailey Knight

Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesohgodyes

Aug 17, 2010#87

Espy

lol, if I didn't think they would crash and die I would do that in a heartbeat.

Aug 17, 2010#88

Officer_Charon

Officially, I'm supposed to shake my finger and say "No!" at this.

But it's too fucking good NOT to do it... I'm so torn!

Aug 17, 2010#89

Jay

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]...you make tons and tons of noise while working out and you don't have a vagina.
[/FONT]

Aug 17, 2010#90

Disconnected

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]...you make tons and tons of noise while working out and you do have a vagina.

...you criticize me for being fat and lazy even though I'm not lazy

...you post comments on yahoo boards

...your gamertag has 4 x's, a number, and references pot

...you cite quotes at inopportune times to sound smart
[/FONT]

Aug 17, 2010#91

General Specific

Null;428650][QUOTE=Troll;428641][QUOTE=Null said:
Besides, there's no rivalry like the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry.

I would argue that Lakers/Celtics, Dodgers/Giants, Cardinals/Cubs, etc. are all up there as well. It's just that Yankees/Red Sox has gotten more public over the last decade, and the success of the two teams has made it more visible.[/QUOTE]

Also, the fact that the rivalry has been going on for almost NINETY GODDAMN YEARS. Also, are you kidding? Say the name Bucky Dent in Boston. Carlton Fisk vs. Thurman Munson - which lasted until Munson fucking died. Bill Lee and Graig Nettles.[/QUOTE]

By that reasoning, the University of South Carolina and Clemson University have a better rivalry because they've been at it for 114 years.

Aug 17, 2010#92

sixpackshaker

FnordBear said:
How to deal with people who tailgate you on the highway(or anywhere for that matter)

1. get the following items from your local Wal-mart.

A water baby (in the girls toy aisle) It is a regular looking baby doll with a hollow body that is supposed to be filled with warm water to make the doll all soft and jiggly like a real baby. Also get 3 jars of strawberry preserves. (It has to be preserves, jams and jellys don't work as well).

2. Fill the water baby with the strawberry preserves until it just about to bust and dress the baby with the clothes that came with it.

3. The next time someone tailgates you, throw the baby out of your window onto their windshield. The will see a jiggly baby go flying toward them and then explode into a pile of bright red and chunky gore.

4. Profit.

Or you know, get over and don't block the flow of traffic....

---------- Post added at 03:47 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:46 AM ----------

General Specific;428784][QUOTE=Null;428650][QUOTE=Troll;428641][QUOTE=Null said:
Besides, there's no rivalry like the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry.

Aug 17, 2010#93

Troll

General Specific;428784][QUOTE=Null;428650][QUOTE=Troll;428641][QUOTE=Null said:
Besides, there's no rivalry like the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry.

Aug 17, 2010#94

Null

How often do the Giants and Dodgers play each other for a playoff spot? Most years, one of them isn't even close to contention. In fact, in over a hundred years, they've only been postseason opponents a few times. Perhaps a dozen times in total has one team played a significant role towards the championship of the other. The Dodgers haven't even been to a World Series since 1988.

Now, the Yankees and Red Sox, the rivalry is about 109 years old (1901 - today). But add into that all the trades between the two teams that have gone the Yankees way - the Yankees dynasty was founded largely by players the Red Sox traded to them, the 19 times they have faced each other in the playoffs - hell, 5 years straight from 1998 to 2003 it was Yankees and Sox 1-2 in the AL East. For the last 10 years, both teams have been top contenders. Johnny Damon, one of the most popular players on the Red Sox during his stint there, was compared to Benedict Arnold for going to the Yankees.

A rivalry that matters is a better rivalry.

Aug 17, 2010#95

sixpackshaker

Right Null. Like what is talked up as a major rivalry is University of Texas vs. Texas A&M. Ask an Aggie who their big rival is, they'll say UT (actually the get pissy and say tu.) Ask a Longhorn and they will say Oklahoma is the rival, I guess that the Sooners feel the same but I don't really know that many.

A&M has not mattered in Football for 20+ years, and UT and OU have had many national championship runs made or ruined by that game.

Aug 17, 2010#96

Krisken

You drive a fancy sports car but make a fucking stink about spending $3 on parking in the private parking lot of a non-profit organization to go to a free concert in the park. Eat a dick.

Aug 18, 2010#97

Troll

Null said:
How often do the Giants and Dodgers play each other for a playoff spot? Most years, one of them isn't even close to contention. In fact, in over a hundred years, they've only been postseason opponents a few times. Perhaps a dozen times in total has one team played a significant role towards the championship of the other. The Dodgers haven't even been to a World Series since 1988.

Now, the Yankees and Red Sox, the rivalry is about 109 years old (1901 - today). But add into that all the trades between the two teams that have gone the Yankees way - the Yankees dynasty was founded largely by players the Red Sox traded to them, the 19 times they have faced each other in the playoffs - hell, 5 years straight from 1998 to 2003 it was Yankees and Sox 1-2 in the AL East. For the last 10 years, both teams have been top contenders. Johnny Damon, one of the most popular players on the Red Sox during his stint there, was compared to Benedict Arnold for going to the Yankees.

A rivalry that matters is a better rivalry.

The Giants and Dodgers usually knock each other out of contention during the season. How many times has it come down to a Giants/Dodgers series to decide who wins the NL West? It happens all the time, and it matters plenty. Of course that's using your specific definition of "matters," which I disagree with. A rivalry is not defined by the numbers of times they play each other in the postseason.

Aug 18, 2010#98

DarkAudit

The Red Sox would like you to believe there was a rivalry all this time. in the 1950s, and especially the 1960s, the Red Sox didn't matter to *baseball* in general, let alone to the Yankees. Only through the grace of God and the Kansas City A's did the Sawx miss finishing in the cellar in '65 with a 62-100 record.

Aug 18, 2010#99

Reboneer

You might be an ass if you derail this thread to talk about sports rivalries.

Also, if you walk out of a public toilet (or any toilet really) without washing your hands.

Aug 18, 2010#100

DarkAudit

The onus is on you to prove you're *not* an ass.

Any internet presence invalidates your argument.

Aug 18, 2010#101

Jay

Piotyr said:
I think the bigger asshole is the guy who doesn't let people merge in front of him, and tailgates the guy in front of him to prevent other people "beating" him to the merge. That is the guy that is going to cause the accident.

This is me! Except the part causing accidents. More like mutual middle fingers.

Oh and if this was legal then cops wouldn't be parked at rushhour chokepoints and not pull over people who are trying to cut in at the start of the line. But then again, this is Canada and we have strange customs over these parts.

Aug 19, 2010#102

IronBrig4

How about if you are pissed at a cashier/waitress/sales associate because they won't bend over backwards for you, and then you loudly yell for the manager and shout "I DEMAND that you terminate their employment!"

Hasn't happened to me, but it does happen.

Aug 19, 2010#103

Troll

IronBrig4 said:
How about if you are pissed at a cashier/waitress/sales associate because they won't bend over backwards for you, and then you loudly yell for the manager and shout "I DEMAND that you terminate their employment!"

Hasn't happened to me, but it does happen.

Ugh. I'm sorry folks, but the customer is not always right.

Aug 19, 2010#104

General Specific

I worked retail for 3 years, then 8 years on a help desk, and in my professional opinion, the customer is almost always wrong.

Aug 19, 2010#105

Krisken

The customer is always an ASSHOLE.

Aug 20, 2010#106

CynicismKills

Krisken said:
The customer is always an ASSHOLE.

You're glowing.

Anyway, this one drives me up a fucking wall. You come to an upscale mall, you drive a nice car and you've got your kids (who you're sending to a very pricey private school) with you. You then proceed to whine to me about a sandwich costing you 6 dollars and act like it's my fault.

Also, old people who complain about prices in general. I know it's not as cheap as when you were young, and no you don't always get a discount just because you're ancient.

Aug 20, 2010#107

Krisken

I've got one, for the asshole who drove up to me even though the parking lot was barricaded off- Yes, the barricades are there for a reason. Private Event: No Parking means only people going to the private event can park there. No, you shouldn't jump the curb to drive over to me so you can ask if you can park there. No, the guy attending the parking lot across the street who saw you jump the curb and manages that building does NOT want you to work on his electrical wiring. Too stupid to drive means he doesn't want you electrocuting yourself on his property.

Aug 20, 2010#108

KCWM

...if you talk about trying to lose weight and eat better and then tell someone they are being annoying when they try to help keep you in line. If you don't want people to help keep you accountable, don't complain bout wanting to lose weight and eat better.

Aug 20, 2010#109

Chazwozel

I think fat people who can't walk, and thus use handicapped spaces are assholes.

You handicapped yourself, asshole.

Aug 20, 2010#110

phil

Same with the scooters that stores like target and walmart have. Those aren't so you don't have to move your fat ass, it's for someone with perhaps a broken leg, or some other real injury who can't walk easily.

Aug 20, 2010#111

KCWM

I have to agree with Chaz and Phil. I'm a tubby dude and even *I* hate this. In fact, because of my size, a leisurely walk around Wal-Mart for an hour burns a good chunk of calories. My wife and I will actually walk around the entire store, if only just to get a little bit of exercise in. Sure, I might be a little sweaty after we are done (nothing too bad), but it's much better than sitting in a scooter, putt-putting around the store like some pathetic waste that got themselves in the situation in the first place.

Aug 20, 2010#112

sixpackshaker

It ticks me off because my 72 year old, overweight Mom walks in those stores. She my use the shopping cart to lean on from time to time, but she's on her own 2 feet.

Aug 20, 2010#113

Chazwozel

You know what else makes you an ass: If you're a fat fuck and you blame your situation on genetics. Yes, I can agree that genetics (leptin secretion etc) may prevent you from being your target BMI, and you can be overweight for the rest of your life (I'm fine with this). But that doesn't give you an excuse to be a 700 lbs tub of goo.

Aug 20, 2010#114

Troll

Chazwozel said:
You know what else makes you an ass: If you're a fat fuck and you blame your situation on genetics. Yes, I can agree that genetics (leptin secretion etc) may prevent you from being your target BMI, and you can be overweight for the rest of your life (I'm fine with this). But that doesn't give you an excuse to be a 700 lbs tub of goo.

Ugh, my grandparents used to do this. They were morbidly obese and ate junk food daily, but the weight problems were all because they have slow metabolisms and they were just born that way. :rolleyes:

Side note, you might be an ass if you go through all the pain and cost of having surgery to help you lose weight, then refuse to listen to your doctor about improving your diet and exercise. Gee, I wonder why all that weight came back a few years later?

Aug 20, 2010#115

KCWM

I have a lady I work with that claims to have thyroid issues. Yet, I see her clipping for coupons for and listen to her talk about eating some really crappy food. She says "i have no idea how you are able to lose weight and I can't...it has to be my stupid thyroid". It's easier to claim it's something outside of her control rather than the Tombstone Pizza, Chef Boy-ar-dee ravioli, chips, candy, hot dogs, etc that she's eating (and feeding her two kids). RIIIIIIGHT. Apparently, her doctor put her on blood pressure medicine but when I talked to her about ways to change her diet to help that out, her response was "yeah...i'll just take the pills, it will help".

My previous post wasn't about her, for the record, but man does it apply.

Aug 20, 2010#116

Cajungal

Auuuugh people who use those scooters just because they're fat and lazy, I hate that too. And I hate the stupid-ass parents who let their kids play on them... then they break and the people who need them can't use them.

Aug 21, 2010#117

phil

Yesterday I saw someone driving one, and at first me and my brother were wondering why she needed one because she looked young ( 20 something young ) until she got closer and we saw she was ready to give birth any day. It made me feel good to see someone like that using it instead of someone with just no excuse.

Aug 21, 2010#118

V.Bond

I almost ran into a lady in one of those scooters today. She was in the road, driving (riding?) against the flow of traffic. What the fuck.

So, you might be an ass if you are that lady.

Aug 21, 2010#119

Officer_Charon

You might be an ass if, in the middle of officers handling an armed robbery investigation, you take it upon yourself to a) direct traffic at a nearby intersection where, admittedly, the power was out, but traffic was flowing without issues and b) to curse out officers for not handling this very pressing issue.

Also if, nearby, another officer has the road blocked off due to a fallen power line and is sitting in his car, amidst a forest of bright orange cones and barricades, writing said robbery report, and you decide to call and complain that the officer is being lazy and not directing traffic in the direction already indicated by the cones and barricades.

Aug 21, 2010#120

Matt²

guy parks in my parking space at 7:31am (according to my security cameras).. I get to work at 8:40am and promptly call a tow truck. There are 2 (TWO) signs stating if you park here and eat at the restaurant next door, you will be towed. Does he bother to read? No. Does he get upset at the tow truck driver and me when the tow truck got here? Hell yes! Called me a prick and said he would do everything he could to get me out of business. All for him parking illegally.

Aug 21, 2010#121

Hailey Knight

That poor baby. Why you so mean, Matt?

Aug 21, 2010#122

HCGLNS

You might be an ass if you go to furniture stores and replace their prop books and magazines with porn and Mein Kampf.

Aug 21, 2010#123

sixpackshaker

HCGLNS said:
You might be an ass if you go to furniture stores and replace their prop books and magazines with porn and Mein Kampf.

That sounds bloody awesome...

Aug 23, 2010#124

Chazwozel

So just this morning, I was knocked over on my ass by a fat guy in a Rascal scooter (or whatever the fuck they're called). I was crossing the intersection on the way to work when he came flying down the other side. He proceeds to yell at me as I'm on the ground and he's wheeling away, that I should watch where I'm going. As he turns (I guess he was going too fast for the damn thing), he tips over and falls. Nothing is funnier than poetic justice, especially watching it writhe around crying and trying to jello mold its way back into the cart.

I helped him out, I tipped the cart right again, and helped him pull himself up. Fucking jerk never even thanked me. Oh well.

Aug 23, 2010#125

fade

Go go go in your Hoverround

Aug 23, 2010#126

sixpackshaker

I was walking a user through a fix on the phone. She asks me "Is this going to screw everything up? Do you know what I mean?"

"No. And thanks for that vote of confidence."

Aug 23, 2010#127

Element 117

Chazwozel said:
So just this morning, I was knocked over on my ass by a fat guy in a Rascal scooter (or whatever the fuck they're called). I was crossing the intersection on the way to work when he came flying down the other side. He proceeds to yell at me as I'm on the ground and he's wheeling away, that I should watch where I'm going. As he turns (I guess he was going too fast for the damn thing), he tips over and falls. Nothing is funnier than poetic justice, especially watching it writhe around crying and trying to jello mold its way back into the cart.

I helped him out, I tipped the cart right again, and helped him pull himself up. Fucking jerk never even thanked me. Oh well.

That's awesome. His karma will be a heart attack death on the toilet, I'm sure.

Aug 23, 2010#128

Null

You know, I'm an obese guy with a bad leg, and I still don't use those scooters. I rarely use a cane, for that matter.

There's a young woman even larger than I am, that rides around the neighborhood on a tiny moped. Sounds like it's got a tinny little maybe 5hp two-stroke engine, like a hedge-trimmer or something. It's like a bear on a minibike at the circus - kind of hilarious but you risk death by laughing at.

Aug 23, 2010#129

fade

Aug 23, 2010#130

Disconnected

fade said:

i was sure i had all photographic evidence of me destroyed. dammit.

Aug 24, 2010#131

KCWM

...if you take my lunch bag out of and put it on top of the community fridge so that you can fit your oversized bag in.

Aug 24, 2010#132

Chibibar

... if you ate all my last two ice cream sandwich that was in a box, place in a brown paper bag, and in the back of the fridge with my name on it.

Aug 24, 2010#133

sixpackshaker

Chibi, is that a roommate or coworker?

Aug 24, 2010#134

Element 117

Chibibar said:
... if you ate all my last two ice cream sandwich that was in a box, place in a brown paper bag, and in the back of the fridge with my name on it.

but it was soooo yummy.

Aug 24, 2010#135

KCWM

Truth be told, I worked at place when I was 19 or 20 and always drank some lady's Slimfast. Not because I needed to lose weight (at least not back then), but because I started craving chocolate/vanilla. I hated the strawberry and once she figured that out, I stopped drinking them. I worked the night shift and she worked the day, so we never directly crossed paths. The day before I quit, I put $40 in an envelope on her desk with a note saying I was sorry.

Aug 24, 2010#136

Chibibar

sixpackshaker said:
Chibi, is that a roommate or coworker?

co-worker

---------- Post added at 10:40 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:38 AM ----------

.Amy.;431104][QUOTE=Chibibar said:
... if you ate all my last two ice cream sandwich that was in a box, place in a brown paper bag, and in the back of the fridge with my name on it.

but it was soooo yummy.[/QUOTE]

of course it was yummy. It was Braum's ice cream sandwich.

Aug 24, 2010#137

Element 117

KCWM said:
Truth be told, I worked at place when I was 19 or 20 and always drank some lady's Slimfast. Not because I needed to lose weight (at least not back then), but because I started craving chocolate/vanilla. I hated the strawberry and once she figured that out, I stopped drinking them. I worked the night shift and she worked the day, so we never directly crossed paths. The day before I quit, I put $40 in an envelope on her desk with a note saying I was sorry.

$40, how many did you drink?

Aug 24, 2010#138

sixpackshaker

I never understood the thieving co-worker. They are just stealing from some one just as poor as they are. It really pissed me off when it was happening in the teacher's lounge. These chuckle heads are supposed to be examples to the next generation, and they are thieves...

Aug 24, 2010#139

Silver Jelly

sixpackshaker said:
They are just stealing from some one just as poor as they are. It really pissed me off when it was happening in the teacher's lounge.

If I was a rich teacher it would be ok to steal my lunch?

Aug 24, 2010#140

KCWM

.Amy.;431116][QUOTE=KCWM said:
Truth be told, I worked at place when I was 19 or 20 and always drank some lady's Slimfast. Not because I needed to lose weight (at least not back then), but because I started craving chocolate/vanilla. I hated the strawberry and once she figured that out, I stopped drinking them. I worked the night shift and she worked the day, so we never directly crossed paths. The day before I quit, I put $40 in an envelope on her desk with a note saying I was sorry.

$40, how many did you drink?[/QUOTE]

Somewhere around 20 over the course of a few months. And I felt pretty guilty at the end. Surprisingly enough, I went through a pretty bit growth period then as a person and realized just how crappy what I was doing was.

---------- Post added at 11:19 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:18 AM ----------

sixpackshaker said:
I never understood the thieving co-worker. They are just stealing from some one just as poor as they are. It really pissed me off when it was happening in the teacher's lounge. These chuckle heads are supposed to be examples to the next generation, and they are thieves...

For me, it was the thrill of knowing I was going to ruin that part of, or the whole, day for the person when they opened the fridge for their snack. Control? I dunno. I was a whirlwind back then...I didn't care about who I hurt or what I did as long as it served my own personal agenda.

Aug 24, 2010#141

sixpackshaker

Silver Jelly;431122][QUOTE=sixpackshaker said:
They are just stealing from some one just as poor as they are. It really pissed me off when it was happening in the teacher's lounge.

If I was a rich teacher it would be ok to steal my lunch?[/QUOTE]

The salaries are pretty much inline in most offices. No, it is just worse to steal from the poor.

Aug 24, 2010#142

fade

Are you sure? When I worked for a defense contractor, some of my coworkers with the same title were talking openly about their salaries. I clammed up, because I realized I was making about 20K more than they were. I mean I was the only one with a phd, but still, they had masters.

Aug 24, 2010#143

sixpackshaker

fade said:
Are you sure? When I worked for a defense contractor, some of my coworkers with the same title were talking openly about their salaries. I clammed up, because I realized I was making about 20K more than they were. I mean I was the only one with a phd, but still, they had masters.

Did you stop stealing their food when you realized that you made that much more than they did?

Aug 24, 2010#144

fade

Hell no. I did it more.

I confess I did take soda from a giant 24 pack a couple of times. I coughed when I opened it.

Aug 24, 2010#145

Tinwhistler

At a previous job, I used to take my diet sodas to work because it was much cheaper than the vending machine. Until some yahoo started stealing my sodas on a regular basis.

I started printing "STEALING IS A CRIME! YOU ARE A CRIMINAL" in bright red lettering on mailing labels and affixing them to the bottles. The thefts stopped. Most people feel uncomfortable with the idea that someone is judging them.

Aug 24, 2010#146

KCWM

Tinwhistler said:
At a previous job, I used to take my diet sodas to work because it was much cheaper than the vending machine. Until some yahoo started stealing my sodas on a regular basis.

I started printing "STEALING IS A CRIME! YOU ARE A CRIMINAL" in bright red lettering on mailing labels and affixing them to the bottles. The thefts stopped. Most people feel uncomfortable with the idea that someone is judging them.

I'd be afraid of you kicking me in the face more so than being judged by you, but that's just me.

Aug 24, 2010#147

Element 117

in a way, that is judgement in its purest form

Aug 24, 2010#148

Tinwhistler

KCWM;431165][QUOTE=Tinwhistler said:
At a previous job, I used to take my diet sodas to work because it was much cheaper than the vending machine. Until some yahoo started stealing my sodas on a regular basis.

I started printing "STEALING IS A CRIME! YOU ARE A CRIMINAL" in bright red lettering on mailing labels and affixing them to the bottles. The thefts stopped. Most people feel uncomfortable with the idea that someone is judging them.

I'd be afraid of you kicking me in the face more so than being judged by you, but that's just me.[/QUOTE]

I don't think they knew whose bottles they were stealing. I'm not sure it would've made much difference if it did. I work as a computer programmer, and don't really advertise my training at work. Besides, you know how many nerds and dorks stereotypically claim "I know karate!" when things don't go their way? I don't wanna be that guy

Aug 24, 2010#149

Troll

Tinwhistler;431186][QUOTE=KCWM;431165][QUOTE=Tinwhistler said:
At a previous job, I used to take my diet sodas to work because it was much cheaper than the vending machine. Until some yahoo started stealing my sodas on a regular basis.

I started printing "STEALING IS A CRIME! YOU ARE A CRIMINAL" in bright red lettering on mailing labels and affixing them to the bottles. The thefts stopped. Most people feel uncomfortable with the idea that someone is judging them.

[/QUOTE]

"Don't mess with me, man! I've seen the Matrix!"

Aug 24, 2010#150

sixpackshaker

"I have video game enhanced reflexes!!!11!!"

Aug 24, 2010#151

Null

.Amy. said:
in a way, that is judgement in its purest form

Just like a Heat Ray.

Aug 25, 2010#152

IronBrig4

Getting back to the slobs in Rascals and motorized shopping carts... I didn't really get much of that in California or Hawaii. But now that I'm living in Texas I see it all the freakin' time.

Aug 25, 2010#153

Hailey Knight

You might be an ass if it's 6:20 a.m. at the bus stop and you're rapping loudly next to everyone else, mostly middle-aged Hispanic women who don't need to be listening to you cursing and saying n-- and such, and when the bus pulls up, you start shouting your rapping in one man's ear, and when he says "Alright" (as in enough) you continue rapping and smack him in the back of the head as he boards the bus.

The ass in question was lucky the guy he hit didn't beat the hell out of him. The man was a head taller and built like a truck compared to the little doo-rag wearing twerp who hit him. He stared the guy down, shook his head, and boarded the bus.

Aug 25, 2010#154

Null

escushion said:
You might be an ass if it's 6:20 a.m. at the bus stop and you're rapping loudly next to everyone else, mostly middle-aged Hispanic women who don't need to be listening to you cursing and saying n-- and such, and when the bus pulls up, you start shouting your rapping in one man's ear, and when he says "Alright" (as in enough) you continue rapping and smack him in the back of the head as he boards the bus.

The ass in question was lucky the guy he hit didn't beat the hell out of him. The man was a head taller and built like a truck compared to the little doo-rag wearing twerp who hit him. He stared the guy down, shook his head, and boarded the bus.

Thankfully he wasn't a crazy bearded motherfucker.

Sep 2, 2010#155

Gared

Ok, I know we've pretty much sorted out the whole merging into traffic issue, but I've been really apathetic about posting for the past year or so, so I'm a bit late. What does the board think of this?

We have a notoriously badly planned out freeway system in Seattle (the story goes that they paid two development firms/construction companies; one started at the north end of the state and one at the south and they met in downtown Seattle, causing there to be no cohesion, but I wouldn't bet on it). Headed north, into the city, on I-5 is a 4 lane road, with the far left lane being an HOV lane that ends in an exit-only set of express lanes. The express lanes are open Northbound from 12 noon to 12 midnight and Southbound the opposing hours. The next lane to the right (left-most general purpose lane, it's generally called) ends in the first exit into downtown Seattle, which is exit only. Only the two right most lanes are through lanes unless the express lanes are open Northbound. The HOV restriction on the left-most lane ends 2 - 3 miles before the entrance to the express lanes.

How does the forum feel about people - who are not carpooling - getting into the left most lane once the restriction ends and waiting until they reach the barriers preventing them from entering Southbound express lane traffic before merging across the left-most general purpose lane (which is now the exit only lane to Seneca St. and downtown Seattle) to get into a through lane? Can I be justifiably pissed at them then? Cuz I swear this causes a backup entering the city starting at about 6:30am and lasting until around 8:00pm every damn day of the fucking week. Of course, the rest of the metropolitan Seattle freeway system doesn't help any.

Sep 2, 2010#156

Chazwozel

Gared said:
Ok, I know we've pretty much sorted out the whole merging into traffic issue, but I've been really apathetic about posting for the past year or so, so I'm a bit late. What does the board think of this?

We have a notoriously badly planned out freeway system in Seattle (the story goes that they paid two development firms/construction companies; one started at the north end of the state and one at the south and they met in downtown Seattle, causing there to be no cohesion, but I wouldn't bet on it). Headed north, into the city, on I-5 is a 4 lane road, with the far left lane being an HOV lane that ends in an exit-only set of express lanes. The express lanes are open Northbound from 12 noon to 12 midnight and Southbound the opposing hours. The next lane to the right (left-most general purpose lane, it's generally called) ends in the first exit into downtown Seattle, which is exit only. Only the two right most lanes are through lanes unless the express lanes are open Northbound. The HOV restriction on the left-most lane ends 2 - 3 miles before the entrance to the express lanes.

How does the forum feel about people - who are not carpooling - getting into the left most lane once the restriction ends and waiting until they reach the barriers preventing them from entering Southbound express lane traffic before merging across the left-most general purpose lane (which is now the exit only lane to Seneca St. and downtown Seattle) to get into a through lane? Can I be justifiably pissed at them then? Cuz I swear this causes a backup entering the city starting at about 6:30am and lasting until around 8:00pm every damn day of the fucking week. Of course, the rest of the metropolitan Seattle freeway system doesn't help any.

Yeah, they're assholes. If you don't have passengers and you use the HOV lane, you're an asshole.

---------- Post added at 09:50 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:48 AM ----------

If every damn seat on the SEPTA train is full and there are people standing in the middle aisle and you feel the need to tell me to move back because you want to move to the back of the train for some reason.

Sep 2, 2010#157

Gared

To be fair, by the time 95% of the single occupant vehicles enter the HOV lane, the HOV restriction has been removed and it's open to everyone. However, the only reason the lane is like that is to allow SOVs access to the express lanes. Also, if the express lanes are closed, you know it before the restriction is removed - assuming you read the road signs instead of your cell phone/paper/kindle/iPad/meeting notes.

Sep 2, 2010#158

Green_Lantern

Amorous Eyes said:
Downtown - People doing the 'sudden dead stop' on a very busy shopping street.

Stores - (Small) group of people hanging just in or outside the main entrance making it hard for people to get in or out. common with grocery stores.

Both of these people will look at you funny if you attempt some crazy maneuver to avoid crashing into them or getting around them. It's like they're oblivious to how annoying they are!

related: people that sit on stairs, taking the whole space, no problem if there is enough room to at least one person to walk past. But you and you group are asses when you think the place is a public bench

Sep 2, 2010#159

Chazwozel

You're a bum that gets pissed off when people don't give you change.

Sep 2, 2010#160

Chibibar

Chazwozel said:
You're a bum that gets pissed off when people don't give you change.

downtown Dallas has anti-panhandling law, but that never stop the beggars coming up with the interesting stories. Heck, one guy once ask me for money for a train ticket, so I bought him one and he got pissed at me.

Sep 2, 2010#161

ThatNickGuy

From what I've been able to tell (from my life in Toronto, mostly, but elsewhere), most people that live on the streets just ain't right in the head. The majority I've seen are walking or sitting, ranting loudly or mumbling to themselves.

I served one at Subway once, years ago. He bought the cheapest thing (six inch veggie sub). When I asked what he wanted on it, he said "Everything. Everything everything everything!" So I loaded it up. He ate it. Then, shouting from the table where he was at (closest to the oven because it was warm), he yells "I TOLD YOU NO HOT PEPPERS!" and argued with me when I said he did not. Five or ten minutes later, he yells again "WHERE'S THE AMBULANCE I CALLED FOR?!" After another short argument that he never asked, we called for one and they came and picked him up.

So yeah, I agree with Eyes. They're usually there for a reason.

Sep 2, 2010#162

crono1224

Well of course they are there for a reason I doubt most people choose to live on the streets

. I don't mind beggars if they aren't incessant about getting money, if they ask once and take no as an answer fine thank you. But if they start following you and keep at it, then it gets really annoying. I would say in better economic times there percent of homeless people are probably a little crazy, but especially when the economy tanks then they may have been just normal people without a way out.

Ame, the reason he bought McDonalds over bread is easy, it is already made and slightly delicious else wtf is he going to do with bread? Only other non refrigerated thing to put on it is peanut butter, and that shit will make you thirsty in a hurry.

Sep 2, 2010#163

HCGLNS

Amorous Eyes;433947][QUOTE=crono1224 said:
Ame, the reason he bought McDonalds over bread is easy, it is already made and slightly delicious else wtf is he going to do with bread? Only other non refrigerated thing to put on it is peanut butter, and that shit will make you thirsty in a hurry.

10 bucks can get ya bread, lunch meats, drinks, whathaveyou.. That is what they could do with it. Why would he buy 10 bucks of only bread? The rest of the bought food/drink was implied.

Point is, most will just run into the store across the street (they're standing near it for a reason) and buy booze or shit if you give them money. If you come across a beggar that gives you shit for giving him a hot cup of coffee, or some food.. never give him anything again.[/QUOTE]

I can't remember where, but I once read an argument that on a calories/dollar basis junk food is better for you than healthy food. As in, you will get more out of that single dollar you have to spend on food if you buy high calorie items traditionally designated unhealthy than if you had bought healthy food with that single dollar.

Also you might be an ass if take the reserved for people with babies parking spot and you don't have a baby with you.

Sep 2, 2010#164

ThatNickGuy

It might have a higher calorie count, but junk food doesn't exactly have any other healthy properties to it.

Sep 2, 2010#165

Adammon

In San Fran, I was amazed at the number of overweight homeless people. I guess the empty calories of fast food are to blame.

Our tour guide also mentioned that homeless people in San Fran receive $600 a month from the city. That sounded a bit unlikely but might also explain the portly panhandlers.

Sep 2, 2010#166

Troll

Adammon said:
In San Fran, I was amazed at the number of overweight homeless people. I guess the empty calories of fast food are to blame.

Our tour guide also mentioned that homeless people in San Fran receive $600 a month from the city. That sounded a bit unlikely but might also explain the portly panhandlers.

I would be amazed by that too. Any chance they were newly homeless?

Sep 2, 2010#167

Adammon

Troll;434020][QUOTE=Adammon said:
In San Fran, I was amazed at the number of overweight homeless people. I guess the empty calories of fast food are to blame.

Our tour guide also mentioned that homeless people in San Fran receive $600 a month from the city. That sounded a bit unlikely but might also explain the portly panhandlers.

I would be amazed by that too. Any chance they were newly homeless?[/QUOTE]

Judging from general behaviour, I have my doubts. Certainly seemed comfortable where they were. Didn't seem to have the look of desperation that the newly displaced would have.

Sep 2, 2010#168

crono1224

Amorous Eyes;433947][QUOTE=crono1224 said:
Ame, the reason he bought McDonalds over bread is easy, it is already made and slightly delicious else wtf is he going to do with bread? Only other non refrigerated thing to put on it is peanut butter, and that shit will make you thirsty in a hurry.

10 bucks can get ya bread, lunch meats, drinks, whathaveyou.. That is what they could do with it. Why would he buy 10 bucks of only bread? The rest of the bought food/drink was implied.

Point is, most will just run into the store across the street (they're standing near it for a reason) and buy booze or shit if you give them money. If you come across a beggar that gives you shit for giving him a hot cup of coffee, or some food.. never give him anything again.[/QUOTE]

Where is he storing this lunch meat? I agree he can probably buy a 3l thing of water, and what not. But it gets expensive buying a small amount of lunch meat, maybe i guess he could have bought a bunch of vegetables

Sep 2, 2010#169

Hailey Knight

I don't think prices and grocery stores and perhaps even food storage work in Ame's country like they do here.

Sep 2, 2010#170

crono1224

escushion said:
I don't think prices and grocery stores and perhaps even food storage work in Ame's country like they do here.

Magnets how do they work?

I'm not saying his decision to go to McDonald's was a good one, but I don't think it was close to a bad one, him buying lottery tickets, alcohol or cigs are much more waste of money.

Sep 2, 2010#171

Officer_Charon

When my family was in Rotterdam, picking up our van being shipped from California, we arrived in the middle of the night. Only ones on the platform apart from a lone, slightly dishevelled-looking woman. She wanders over and starts speaking Dutch. My Dad says "Sorry, we don't speak Dutch," to which she replies (without missing a beat) "Oh, you're American! Say you wouldn't happen to have a few guilders, would you?" We did not, but I was impressed at the command of English that a Dutch beggar had. *grins*

Sometimes the homeless, the schizophrenic ones, I mean, are really interesting. We had one here, Peron, who would always talk about working for the FBI, the CIA, and the Savannah Morning News (all at the same time, no less! *grins*). He would always have something reflective on him, like the metal back of a watch, which he would put on the ground, if we were talking outside, and direct with his foot. This was to protect us officers from the lasers being fired by CIA satellites.

Man, I miss Peron...

Sep 2, 2010#172

Chazwozel

I see the same exact fucking bums walking to work everyday, in the same exact spots. They do nothing all fucking day except for picking lint out of their bellybuttons. I would be fine with giving them a couple of bucks if they actually did something with the money they panhandle. One of them was wearing a brand new Phillies hat the other day. Those run for about 30 bucks. They make a living off of panhandling, and you're a sucker if you give them your hard earned money. If I want to feel good about myself, I go to the Children's Hospital and read to sick kids.

Sep 3, 2010#173

Officer_Charon

We were in Rotterdam in 98, for just that night and part of the next day. *grins*

As for folks making their living panhandling... thereEnter text here.'s a couple of 'em that do it here, too. There's one well-known guy who hangs in City Market until it closes down at 0100 or so, then he hops in a cab and rides it back to his house on the Landings (our local RIIIIICH people area, a good $30+ cab ride or so.)

There's been a group of 'em doing it at one of the major intersections lately. Usually, it's not worth our time to arrest 'em, because they never show up for court. However, lately my precinct captain has said if we see 'em, arrest 'em on sight, regardless of which precinct we see 'em in. Because they've gotten emboldened by the lack of police response.

Sep 3, 2010#174

fade

Saw this yesterday:

How panhandlers use free credit cards - thestar.com

Sep 3, 2010#175

crono1224

I read that too fade, it was an interesting article. I guess there is multiple reasons for why a person is homeless and if they just got knocked off their feet and are trying to get back up again (lost job, lost 401k, etc.) then they may be more likely to try and use money to get back (new clothes, shower, good food). However if they are there because of their own devices (drugs/drinking, etc) then they aren't going as likely to use that money to get back they are probably still addicted to whatever put them their in the first place. Lastly if they are there because they are crazy who knows what they will do with that money.

Sep 3, 2010#176

Tinwhistler

I know we're all done with the "stealing food from work" discussion, but i just saw this and had to throw it in there as an ingenious way to save your food...

Of course, you wouldn't wanna do this on the refrigerator clean-out day.

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