Dave
Staff member
I should be the funniest mother fucker this side of the Rio Grande.
The Random Crap Thread 2: It Hits the Fan.
- Thread starter North_Ranger
- Start date
I'm picturing you watching SNL, yelling at the TV for stealing your jokes. Then pausing as a light clicks in you mind and you realize, sadly, that you're not any funnier than SNL . . .
. . . oh wait. You said you've been watching recently. Never mind.
(There was a stretch a few years back where I found SNL decidely unfunny, is what I'm saying)
I can't speak for everyone, but I consider myself to be kinda funny, and I'm pretty certain my sense of humor formed as a defense mechanism against crippling social anxiety, an alcoholic father, and constant ridicule for being the fat kid.
Actually, I take that back. None of that was funny. So this is how Dave feels...
Hey, no hugs, it's not that bad. I'm not actually anything like Dave!
I just wanted to touch you....Comfort! Comfort you!
Do you enjoy making other people laugh? If so, then you can learn be funny.
Are you good at it? Then you have talent.
Neither of the above? Then perhaps Comedy is not for you.
--Patrick
Get. Out!!
(I am unfunny though.)I’ve thought it’s been pretty bland for a number of years, I’ve only started watching again because Kate McKinnon is my queen and is damn talented, I think.
I don’t think comedy is ever something I could do but I admire it very much. From what I can gather, in general, comedians are completely okay making fools of themselves and are comfortable with the attention that comes from that, the attention that comes from being a good story or joke teller. I... can’t do that. I’m so shy and am very unsettled at the idea of so many pairs of eyeballs staring at me. I’m too uptight to ever be good at comedy. But I do love to make people laugh.
Given the cosplay thread, I find this very hard to believe.
Haha! It’s actually very true.Given the cosplay thread, I find this very hard to believe.
Posting stuff online means I don’t have to SEE people looking at me. So, it’s easy. And I’m rarely approached at conventions which to me means no one, if anyone, is looking at me.
Standing up on a stage, KNOWING that the crowd is watching you, waiting? No thanks. Hard fucking pass. There’s a reason I never got into the competitive cosplay scene.
Sometimes when I read my old chat logs, I find that my funniest period was when I was around 19 or 20, during my second and third years at university. That was also probably the toughest period of my life. So while I'm not sure if there's a causative relationship between suffering and humor, in my personal experience there does appear to be a correlation.
This is not entirely true. Mitch Hedberg was a good example of this. He had terrible stage fright.
But for him, his enjoyment outweighed the fear, and so he would go out there, even if it meant wearing dark sunglasses, keeping his eyes closed, hat pulled down low, etc.
--Patrick
Dave
Staff member
Okay so I get offline and go to take my shower (I was going to do so an hour ago but my wife got into the tub before I called dibs). Everything was going great. I warmed up the water, set the curtain in place, and then pulled the little handle to turn it from the main tap to the shower head. There was a loud POP and water started pelting me in the face.
Did you know that the hose on a shower head was a rubber tube surrounded by metal and that the rubber tube could blow like a popped balloon? Neither did I. So I guess I get to load up on deodorant tomorrow and pick up a new shower head on the way home.
Did you know that the hose on a shower head was a rubber tube surrounded by metal and that the rubber tube could blow like a popped balloon? Neither did I. So I guess I get to load up on deodorant tomorrow and pick up a new shower head on the way home.
That’s I why I said ‘in general.’
Regardless, I commend anyone who gets on stage, I’m sure most everyone gets stage fright and they still do it, which is amazing and brave, to me.
No, I didn't know that. But I'm already dreading the day that I attempt to re-replace the shower head in our upstairs bathroom. It appears very much like the stem that attaches the shower head to the wall is being held in place by a couple of rubber bands, or maybe that stretchy tape that seals holes.
Dave
Staff member
We actually have another shower, but it's in the basement and it looks like the kind of shower you'd find unused in the basement of a rental house. The thing is not clean.
GasBandit
Staff member
My dad has one of those in the basement, and he owns the damn place.
GasBandit
Staff member
He-underling calls me into the front office today, and when I get there, he says, "Tell her (Underling #2) she's not pudgy."
I blink in disbelief. "You need ME to tell HER that she isn't pudgy?"
#2: "I am! I need to start working out."
Me: (Exasperated sigh) "#2, you are a goddess of a vision, without flaw or imperfection. NOW GET BACK TO WORK."
/returns to my office
I blink in disbelief. "You need ME to tell HER that she isn't pudgy?"
#2: "I am! I need to start working out."
Me: (Exasperated sigh) "#2, you are a goddess of a vision, without flaw or imperfection. NOW GET BACK TO WORK."
/returns to my office
GasBandit
Staff member
Stumbled upon this while browsing Imgur, looks like someone finally went viral! Got a Patreon and errythang. Linkadoodle for the curious.
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I would just like to point out that this thread went without my jokes about @Dave because of the slow-downs. I'm only checking a few threads per day instead of everything. You can't believe how many incredibly unfunny jokes you've all missed out on now.
To be clear:
a) Dave is definitely our resident expert on what is funny, in the same way @stienman is our resident expert on how not to get a woman pregnant
b) comedians are clearly born. Just consider that the only person not born, the ur-father, the Old One, is also the least funny person ever to be or have been.
To be clear:
a) Dave is definitely our resident expert on what is funny, in the same way @stienman is our resident expert on how not to get a woman pregnant
b) comedians are clearly born. Just consider that the only person not born, the ur-father, the Old One, is also the least funny person ever to be or have been.
I like this.
Maybe I missed something with Fade, but how does that make you a sadistic bastard?