Rant VIII: The Reckoning

Here's a new one:

I surprised a burglar last night. Nothing got taken and there is only minimal damage. I'm ok.

Anyone have any suggestions on the best way to discourage intruders from a suburban home?
 

Dave

Staff member
Beware of dog signs, even if you don't have a dog. An alarm company sign, even if you don't have an alarm. Motion sensor lights in the back area.

Basically, make it not look like an easy mark.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
My father used to have this sign by his front door:



But yeah, motion sensor-activated lights are great. And a dog. Thing is the dog may not attack, if the burglar brings bacon.
 
Honestly, it doesn't matter what deterrents you put out (short of getting a dog). We have the signs, the lights, all of it... and I've still had my neighbors tell me that they saw a guy prowling around our house until they heard our dogs start barking at the windows. People know the signs are fake. They don't care if you have an alarm because if they can get in, they still have a minute or two to smash and grab. But you can't fake dog barking.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Honestly, it doesn't matter what deterrents you put out (short of getting a dog). We have the signs, the lights, all of it... and I've still had my neighbors tell me that they saw a guy prowling around our house until they heard our dogs start barking at the windows. People know the signs are fake. They don't care if you have an alarm because if they can get in, they still have a minute or two to smash and grab. But you can't fake dog barking.
True enough. When I was broken into, basically it was a couple guys who just went knocking on front doors until they found one where nobody was home (at 3pm in the afternoon), and when they got to my place, crowbar'd the front door open. They ran in, grabbed the first thing they saw (my laptop bag with the laptop in it, and a mason jar full of change) and ran to a waiting car which their getaway driver kept running. I bought a shotgun after that, and Pauline decided she wanted to learn to shoot.
 
Honestly, it doesn't matter what deterrents you put out (short of getting a dog). We have the signs, the lights, all of it... and I've still had my neighbors tell me that they saw a guy prowling around our house until they heard our dogs start barking at the windows. People know the signs are fake. They don't care if you have an alarm because if they can get in, they still have a minute or two to smash and grab. But you can't fake dog barking.
Or you know, get an actual alarm? A cheap system that makes alot of noise that's at least tied to the doors are effective enough to scare someone off.
 
I was more thinking about motion-activated barking dog noise maker type thing, but that requires a level of electrical know-how that I certainly do not possess.
 
Or you know, get an actual alarm? A cheap system that makes alot of noise that's at least tied to the doors are effective enough to scare someone off.
They really aren't. My aunt was robbed about 3 months back despite having an alarm... the second it went off, the three guys who broke into her house just grabbed the first thing they could (her flatscreen) and booked it. It probably kept it from being worse (and I'm fucking glad she was out of town) but burglars know the average police response time in the US is still somewhere in the 5-10 minute range... and the alarm company doesn't call the police unless you tell them to or they can't get to you, which adds time. That's more than enough to grab a few items and run.

Seriously, ether get a dog, get a fake dog barking sensor, or turn your house into a fortress with bars and an armored door.
 
They really aren't. My aunt was robbed about 3 months back despite having an alarm... the second it went off, the three guys who broke into her house just grabbed the first thing they could (her flatscreen) and booked it. It probably kept it from being worse (and I'm fucking glad she was out of town) but burglars know the average police response time in the US is still somewhere in the 5-10 minute range... and the alarm company doesn't call the police unless you tell them to or they can't get to you, which adds time. That's more than enough to grab a few items and run.

Seriously, ether get a dog, get a fake dog barking sensor, or turn your house into a fortress with bars and an armored door.
Yeah I've lived on the bad side of town most of my life, in many different cities. Every person I've known and myself personally have had break-ins stopped because the alarm went off and they ran. That's like saying that car alarms are useless as well.

Obviously nothing is going to stop a determined burglar, even a dog. Yet not protecting yourself at all or saying that any kind of protection is useless is just as silly. Might as well leave your doors unlock if alarms are worthless.
 
Dogs are, for the MOST part, the best single deterrent. Your professional burglar knows that they have a 5-10 minute window to smash and grab before an alarm company gets us moving, and that's not even counting response time.

Honestly, the best alarm to have is one that sounds a loud, LOUD alarm, letting everyone in the neighborhood know about it. Attach a loudspeaker to the outside - I was in a house once on a false alarm call (lady left her front door open, we had to clear the house) that had a truly stunning alarm system - it made me dizzy to move without covering my ears.

Best burglary attempt call I rode, the man had a military-scale speaker (the old-school steel ones that you associate with sirens and prison speakers). The burglar got as far as his dining room before the alarm kicked in, and beat feet.

Dogs are not always a guarantee - you have to train them to be suspicious of strangers, and react appropriately.

At the end of the day, it's all about making your house enough of a nuisance to be more trouble than it's worth. If someone is TRULY determined to get in, they will. End of story. You just have to make it too much of an effort.

In the meantime, make sure you note down all the serial numbers of your electronics - game systems and TVs, especially. Laptops are another prime target.
 
Dec. 30, 2009 our house was robbed, against all odds. This is a town that people leave their doors or garages open all day and no one touches a thing. The police blotter is mostly filled with car accidents. We had an alarm system installed from the previous owner (my aunt) because she was elderly and traveled a lot. I had just started at my new job a month earlier, and since it was 3 miles from home, I came home for lunch every day to let the dog out and eat. Even so, because I was worried about fires and the dog, plus after living in cities for 8 years, the doors were always locked and the alarm and motion sensors were always armed whenever we weren't in the house. We had small signs on the doors that stated we had an alarm, and we live on a corner property with a very open back yard and a decent amount of traffic that goes by it.

This guy, who I come to find out is from the northern part of the state but made a habit to come around here because it's a fairly well-off county, knew every trick in the book. He rented his car so it couldn't be easily traced. He watched my house/neighborhood and waited for me to go back to work. He cut our phone line, bumped the lock on the back door, knew to go down to the basement to completely cut the alarm (he obviously had experience knowing where companies install their systems), knew to take the expensive stuff he could easily carry, and made off with our PS3, our Wii, my husband's laptop (which at the time was dead, so ha-ha on you, sucker) and all my jewelry, including my engagement ring and great-grandmothers rosary. He also did so wearing gloves to leave no prints. I still can't forget the feeling when I got home that night, and I unlocked the garage door, and the alarm didn't beep. My blood went cold because my husband wasn't home. I walk around the corner, see the back door wide open and our dog trembling in the corner. My heart still stops whenever I open that door until I hear the first alarm beep.

You'll be surprised to know there's a happy ending to all this. I called 911 and it took 4 cop cars less than 2 minutes to show up. They were very thorough and started calling neighboring towns to see if there was any leads. Turns out, one town over, a woman came home to find the some guy casing her house. When he tried to drive off, she drove after him and called the cops. They chased him down and caught him. In his car was all our stuff. Cocky bastard thought he could make two hits in one night. He got thrown in jail and we got all our stuff back.

We still have an alarm, and for various reasons I don't want to live without it, especially now with our son. What we did change is the placement of the phone wire (it's nearly impossible to reach now), and we took down the signs that we had an alarm: that way they don't have any warning.
 
bumped the lock on the back door,
A useful skill, that. Want to learn how, except for the stigma associated with it.

The house we just left has all the exterior windows (except the living room and kitchen ones) about 10ft off the ground (from the outside) and the ones that aren't have had drywall screws driven into the frames to keep them from being lifted up. The doors have deadbolts which also require a key from the inside in order to unlock. It would still be comically easy to break the glass and gain entry, though. Fortunately, most everything valuable which could be acquired within 5-10 minutes' time has been removed from the house, and the rest will be removed over Easter. After then, the only valuables remaining will be things like the plumbing/wiring.

--Patrick
 
A useful skill, that. Want to learn how, except for the stigma associated with it.
Stigma can't get you in trouble... I have a lockpicking kit, and a few different locks that I keep for practicing. It's fun, to me it's just a type of puzzle. I can't see myself using it to break into anything, although I suppose if I had lost my keys or something, it could be handy.
 
Just got a call from my mother that she totaled her car and is in the ER in Madison, WI (where she lives). My dad's in the Czech Republic for work and won't be back until at least next Friday, if not longer. I now need to try to find a flight out and a rental car, and with rent coming up on Tuesday, I'm tapped out. She says she's just banged up, but she has the dogs to try to take care of and not a lot of friends that live as far out of town as my parents do.
 
Dear Grad Student,

Let me see if I understand you correctly. You've known about this competition for the past six weeks. The online application is available 24/7. You wait until the last hour of the last day to apply, only to find out that you cannot submit for some strange reason. You have now contacted me after the deadline to ask if I'll extend it for you, because you're a special little snowflake.

<ahem>

Are you frakkin' kidding me?!? Do you want me to spoon-feed you next? Grow the fuck up and take some responsibility for your actions! The other 374 applicants managed to make the deadline. It's called "consequences"! Learn the definition and live your life accordingly!

Gods above and below, this job is going to make me start drinking.
 
Would a bonded house and pet sitting service be an option?
Her one neighbor is going to take care of her instead. Financing flying out right now would be completely impossible, but she's spent quite a bit of time taking care of her neighbor, through multiple foot surgeries, so her neighbor is repaying the favor until my dad gets home on Thursday.
 
Dear Grad Student,

Let me see if I understand you correctly. You've known about this competition for the past six weeks. The online application is available 24/7. You wait until the last hour of the last day to apply, only to find out that you cannot submit for some strange reason. You have now contacted me after the deadline to ask if I'll extend it for you, because you're a special little snowflake.

<ahem>

Are you frakkin' kidding me?!? Do you want me to spoon-feed you next? Grow the fuck up and take some responsibility for your actions! The other 374 applicants managed to make the deadline. It's called "consequences"! Learn the definition and live your life accordingly!

Gods above and below, this job is going to make me start drinking.
As the lone organized grad student in my department for each of my graduate degrees, please please yell at the twits. It is beyond annoying when the special snowflakes who pissed away their time get extensions with no consequences and those of us that actually bothered to make some time-based sacrifices get dick all. (Those with actual reasons for delay are one thing, dicking around does not qualify.)
 
Scratch that, flight almost certainly back on. I'm fairly certain that what's happening here is that my mom doesn't want to specifically ask for help, but actually does want help, and wants to see me, and is probably a lot more lonely than she's letting on since my dad's away for work. So, they'll take care of the financing, I just have to take care of getting the flights and renting a car and traveling. But first we have to see if my wife can go as well.
 
My father used to have this sign by his front door:



But yeah, motion sensor-activated lights are great. And a dog. Thing is the dog may not attack, if the burglar brings bacon.

Ah yes, the advertised gun house. Thanks for letting me know I can stake out your place and steal your guns, citizen!
 
My father used to have this sign by his front door:



But yeah, motion sensor-activated lights are great. And a dog. Thing is the dog may not attack, if the burglar brings bacon.
My parents used to have this sign:
monJad0PpqGFX3O3FM5LtSA.jpg


Our Siamese cat was worse than a guard dog and would've probably ripped an intruder to shreds before the dog blinked.
 
I like how they made sure the diner one specifically made sure to point out that everyone there was a cop. You pull a gun out in a robbery situation like that, you're going to get yourself or someone else killed.[DOUBLEPOST=1396189578,1396189545][/DOUBLEPOST]
The people in those commercials all had excellent trigger discipline.
That too.
 
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