Export thread

You find yourself in a fantasy world! Perhaps you were born there, or perhaps you got there by choking yourself with a controller as you masturbated to a video game. No judgments. No matter how, you find yourself in need of a weapon! What is your weapon?!


Also: I know not everything is represented but go with whatever is closest if you can. Feel free to give full explanations below! Especially if you decide on magic or something!


Also also: if you just HAVE to say something like "the AR (insert number that gives you the biggest chubby) with a scope and extended mag" you're doing it wrong.

Wand!

Aw, this wasn't a poll when I responded, and there's a frightening lack of wands in the options.

Gonna have to go with magic here

What kind? Healer? Fire Mage? Illusionist?

Hylian said:

Gonna have to go with magic here

Click to expand...

If I had to choose between those 3 I would have to go with the Fire Mage.

I know kung fu...

I'd go with the Steampunk gun because I'd be guaranteed to receive a nice hat along with it.

I love hammers, but being practical, I think I'm better suited for sword and board or possibly the dagger. I don't have the arm strength/stamina to make an effective weapon out of a hammer. Axes are also great, but with the same problem.

I voted "My body is a weapon" because it is the most accurate.

If you replace "weapon" with "wonderland". :smug:

Fun Size said:

I voted "My body is a weapon" because it is the most accurate.

If you replace "weapon" with "wonderland". :smug:

Click to expand...

I'm still waiting for someone to say hammer, but make it known that the hammer is their penis.

with my build, it should be sword and board or axe. but i love shooting so i had to choose bow. i always role-play some form of physical ranged dps class.

I'm a big wuss, so I went with magic.

I'd get some wood and some short swords and make myself a pair of armblades. Can't beat bicep leverage for stabbing and blocking.



(No, that's not me).

There's just something sad about a tubby guy posing with weapons...

I should know.

Why do you think I'm not showing any pictures?

Also, pass the board, gimme the sword. A two-hander broadsword is, despite its reputation, quite an elegant weapon. And my Violet, she desires to dance again while cleaving flesh and bone. Posta zingale!
But admittedly, there's a part of me that would also like to go archery in this debate. I am contemplating on buying my own composite bow and arrows, just gotta find a place to get started on those 10,000 shots.

sixpackshaker said:

There's just something sad about a tubby guy posing with weapons...

I should know.

Click to expand...

Unless those weapons are a knotty club and a loincloth.

But it's even sadder once you learn where those exact particular armblades came from -



But they are a steal at $32 each.

I would more likely respond with Axe, so I chose Ax as the closest.

Also, because I didn't notice it was multiple answers allowed....

You have my hammer. Because my penis is my hammer.

---------- Post added at 04:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:43 PM ----------

^^
all because I had to make Phil happy.

Sparhawk said:

I would more likely respond with Axe, so I chose Ax as the closest.

Also, because I didn't notice it was multiple answers allowed....

You have my hammer. Because my penis is my hammer.

---------- Post added at 04:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:43 PM ----------

^^
all because I had to make Phil happy.

Click to expand...

Google image results for Ax


Google image results for Axe




Smelling like a 15 year old douche bag could be considered a weapon though, I suppose.

I will now insert a smiley face to show that I'm just yanking your chain (not to be confused with hammer)

You have my hammer.

Have to go with Magic.

Sure, I have the build for dagger/ranged/scimitar/short sword/body-as-weapon, but I'm not the type who would train obsessively with a weapon. I am the type who would ceaselessly search for arcane knowledge, though. If you translated my real-life self into a Fantasy setting (Quag Keep, Guardians of the Flame, The Dragon and The George), I'd probably be a Mage with a STR of 11 and CON & DEX of 15.

--Patrick

You have my mace/ability to run away flailing my arms and screaming.

You have my double crossbows and shadow magics

Shegokigo said:

You have my double crossbows and shadow magics

Click to expand...

Just don't get caught staring at her double crossbows. I've still got a limp from a bolt to the thigh.

Fun Size;449791][QUOTE=Shegokigo said:

You have my double crossbows and shadow magics

Click to expand...

Just don't get caught staring at her double crossbows. I've still got a limp from a bolt to the thigh.[/QUOTE]

You're just lucky I had been drinking... I wasn't aiming for the thigh....

You have my AWESOMENESS:

(might be a wee bit NSFW)

A brighly colored papier-mâché fish.

This fantasy world would presumably involve some level of hostility. Otherwise I wouldn't need a weapon.

The aforementioned hostility would, presumably, strike at any possible moment. When I'm asleep. When I'm bathing. When I'm whacking off. When I'm whacking off in the bath while dozing.

I wouldn't necessarily be able to keep a weapon with me at all times. I mean, where would I keep my sword?

Therefore, I voted for my body being a weapon. At least I'm likely to have my body with me at all times, right?

I'd assume that monsters are most likely to attack while one is walking around outside a town, or if a scripted event is happening.


Anything else would be silly.

bhamv3 said:

At least I'm likely to have my body with me at all times, right?

Click to expand...

Pretty much the definition of dead is when you no longer have access to your body, so I suppose that's a safe assumption to make.

First Lady Puffinstuff;449844][QUOTE=bhamv3 said:

At least I'm likely to have my body with me at all times, right?

Click to expand...

Pretty much the definition of dead is when you no longer have access to your body, so I suppose that's a safe assumption to make.[/QUOTE]

In that case, my wife's been dead for years!

Great idea bhamv, you go punch that lava elemental. Go try and grapple that thorn beast. Please, by all means roundhouse kick the gelatinous cube. >

phil said:

I'd assume that monsters are most likely to attack while one is walking around outside a town, or if a scripted event is happening.


Anything else would be silly.

Click to expand...

I've seen monsters attack in cities and in malls.

You aren't safe anywhere.

Allen said:

I'd assume that monsters are most likely to attack while one is walking around outside a town, or if a scripted event is happening.


Anything else would be silly.

Click to expand...

I've seen monsters attack in cities and in malls.

You aren't safe anywhere.[/QUOTE]



You're right. Besides, my brother randomly encountered a umber hulk last winter while on the toilet!

phil;449869][QUOTE=Allen said:

I'd assume that monsters are most likely to attack while one is walking around outside a town, or if a scripted event is happening.


Anything else would be silly.

Click to expand...

I've seen monsters attack in cities and in malls.

You aren't safe anywhere.[/QUOTE]



You're right. Besides, my brother randomly encountered a umber hulk last winter while on the toilet![/QUOTE]

I told you he was eating too much cheese.

I have a 6-lb wooden sledgehammer that someone left in a wall-locker at Camp LeJeune. I used to carry it around and randomly strike the ground near people who weren't feeling the motivation. This is my Moto Stick(tm). May it serve you well in your endeavors.

My D&D character uses a hammer, so that's what I went with. I like blunt weapons for some reason.

checkeredhat said:

My D&D character uses a hammer, so that's what I went with. I like blunt weapons for some reason.

Click to expand...

Me too! I keep a baseball bat under my bed.

---------- Post added at 02:41 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:40 AM ----------

to keep the Grues away

---------- Post added at 02:42 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:41 AM ----------

and the women. :smug:

The ability to control time and space, with an inherent 2 day rewind that occurs the instant before I am about to receive a major injury/wound/disease/illness. With such power, I would become unto a god. Or at least die two days ago.

UDFy-38135539 said:

The ability to control time and space, with an inherent 2 day rewind that occurs the instant before I am about to receive a major injury/wound/disease/illness. With such power, I would become unto a god. Or at least die two days ago.

Click to expand...

We could simply place you in a box that kills you three days after you enter it, with no way to exit. You'd rewind every two days like clockwork.

Ah, but you missed the ability to control time, and space. Not just time travel, but also teleport The two day rewind is the failsafe. You'd have to know where I was two days ago.

Pole weapon so I can act like Lu Bu.

heatherling said:

Pole weapon so I can act like Lu Bu.

Click to expand...

:smug:

Sword and shield, I am already used to walking around with Armor

heatherling said:

Pole weapon so I can act like Lu Bu.

Click to expand...

Will you also be riding Red Hare? And what happens if you run out of Musou mode?

Null;450088][QUOTE=heatherling said:

Pole weapon so I can act like Lu Bu.

Click to expand...

Will you also be riding Red Hare? And what happens if you run out of Musou mode?[/QUOTE]
Level 10 weapon so I always have my orb power.