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I know we have a What's your favorite joke? thread, but I am, for personal reasons, casting a wider net here. From across all media, what are the lines that made you laugh out loud when you heard them? I'm looking for books, poems, movies, songs, jokes...whatever. If you want to put sources in spoiler tags, we can even make a game out of figuring out where they come from.

Examples:
"And they was right."
"This man has no dick."
"No one's gonna eat your eyes."
"Practice!"

"The brick!"

"...and so they tasered her again."

"Yes, and I'm shouting his name to celebrate that fact."

Rectum? Damn near killed 'im!

"<leans forward, looks around furtively.>"

And that, kids, is why you never name an ulcer after Charlie Don't Surf.

"Knock Knock?"
"Who's there?""
"To."
"To Who?"

Better Nate than Lever!

"Oh, I thought you said sarsaparilla!"

The Aristocrats!

"when she sits around the house, she really sits around the house"

$40, same as in town!

"Would I? Would I?"
"Hare lip"!

No, it is just some ice cream.

Unique up on it.
Tame way, unique up on it.

Pass it? I don't think I could swallow it![DOUBLEPOST=1371749519][/DOUBLEPOST]People these days, I just don't understand them. Take my wife... PLEASE!

Thanks, Obama.

It's twue... it's twue...[DOUBLEPOST=1371755417][/DOUBLEPOST]Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

The Bible.

Well aren't we mister original-and-edgy-pants.

That's clearly not a punch line, although in their defense, I've been having trouble getting literary references. It's hard to pick one line that really got to me in a book, although "I understood that!" from Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff is a clear contender.

GasBandit said:

Well aren't we mister original-and-edgy-pants.

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Hey at least he was brave enough to own it.

Now that's a punch line!

Chad Sexington said:

Hey at least he was brave enough to own it.

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That was actually mine, and I have no idea why it was posted anonymously.

Therapists.

A SNL sketch ruined it for me. Whenever someone says the rapists, I can't help but laugh at the punchline.

It's been years... if not a decade or more.

I still name most of my fantasy sports teams "The Pen is Mightier" and laugh at it all the time

"Now spell the fuck in chocolate ice cream."

"You're not here for the hunting, are you?"

"A pilot, you fucking racist!"

"When you take that thing out, it better have numbers on it."

"Because God knows you can't wear glasses."

As god as my witness,...I thought turkeys could fly.

He gave me the winning numbers!

General Specific said:

Better Nate than Lever!

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That is literally one of my favorite jokes of all time.

"Watson, you idiot, someone stole our tent."

"Aren't you a bit old to be believing in Leprechauns?"

I'll just tell the whole joke because I learned it recently. It's adorable.

What is Super Mario's suspenders made of?

Denim denim denim!

"And then he holds the beer can between his legs and starts counting on his other hand."

"Oh, he's our shortstop."

"That's not bad for a priest in a small parish."

"No, you're supposed to ride the camel into town and find a lady there..."

"We'll just look for the camel with the two assholes on it..."

"I'll drive." "Okay."

"Let me put it this way - do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"

"A circus is a cunning array of stunts, but a whorehouse is... "

Bowielee said:

"A circus is a cunning array of stunts, but a whorehouse is... "

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Is what? Don't leave me hanging like this!

Emrys said:

Is what? Don't leave me hanging like this!

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a brothel! Geez. Some people are so dense.

Chad Sexington said:

a brothel! Geez. Some people are so dense.

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Chad Sexington, sweetheart, come here. We need to talk.

Emrys said:

Chad Sexington, sweetheart, come here. We need to talk.

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I'm scared.