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What do you fear?

#1

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

Basic thread about what we fear, and maybe even why we fear it.

Now me? I have a specific acrophobia(fear of heights). Has anyone ever been to the Embassy Suites in New York? Well I went there a few years ago with my family and on the high up floors there are bridges...WITHOUT GUARD RAILS! Every time I walked on that horrible walk-way I just had the horrible fear that something was going to push me over! I don't know if they still have walk-ways like that, but I hope it ends soon.


#2

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

Now I admit to having a few issues with bugs, but spiders I'm cool with. Is that weird? It feels weird.


#3

Espy

Espy

Snakes. Oh lord do I fear snakes.


#4

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

1) Heights, though it's minor. I'm nervous when a plane is taking off and a few times in the air, but I'm okay for the most part. I'm hesitant on ladders.
2) Being lifted up. Discovered this one when I was in wrestling school.
3) The end of the world. I've had nightmares about this. And I have an over-active imagination. Even though I'm pretty sure nothing will happen this December, I'm still kind of scared that the world (at least as we know it) will end.


#5

Jay

Jay

NSFL

YWqB7.gif
and


#6

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

I just remembered, true death. Ceasing to exist after your mortal body is done. The thought of this keeps me up at night.


#7

Azurephoenix

Azurephoenix

My only substantial fears relate to injury or death of my wife and children. I used to be afraid of lots of things, but now I have to be the protector.

I'm mildly afraid of swimming in the open ocean (sharks) and extreme heights (though this one can be controlled with focus).


#8

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

Red-lights. Because if I miss one I'll get a ticket and if I might get a ticket and if I might get a ticket my parents might be super disappointed in me. Wait...actually I just fear my parents being disappointed in me.


#9

Just Me

Just Me

Heights, I can control this a bit if there's a railing. But if not I'll not go anywhere near a cliff or such things.
Spiders really creep me out and I'm paralyzed for some by fear when I see one before I can get into anti spider action. And even then I have to overcome some seriuous issues.
Darkness, I really hate to stand in darkness. I start to hyperventilate after some time alone in a dark room and I get the creeps even outside on a relatively dark night. Somehow as soon as it is dark around me I have the feeling I'm not alone anymore. Really creepy.


#10

jwhouk

jwhouk

+1 on Dying Alone.


#11

Wahad

Wahad

I ''fear'' nothing. Literally. I have no discovered phobias, have no existential dread regarding certain aspects of life or death, and it seems unlikely that I ever will bar some major mental trauma in the future. That doesn't mean I won't get scared every now and then - jumpscares get me just as fine as everybody else - but I'm too boring to actively fear anything.


#12

Gusto

Gusto

Large groups of people.

Absence of large groups of people.


#13

Adam

Adam

Being discovered as just making it up as I go along at work, not having any particularly useful skillsets or leadership abilities, not thinking I'm anything special and feeling like I just luck into doing a good job.


#14

Squidleybits

Squidleybits

I travel a lot for work and am super paranoid about having a filthy hotel room!

I also used to be a chamber maid so I know how poorly rooms are cleaned.


#15

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

Failure and success. Failure because people expect too little of you, success because people expect too much of you! It vexes me.


#16

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Anything that involves body horror. I have no fear of ghosts or werewolves or vampires or aliens... but zombies scare the living shit outta me. I can't even consider watching The Human Centipede because the premise alone makes me gag. Anything that can lay an egg in your flesh or make your flesh melt away... Gah, I get the chills just from thinking about it.


#17

Frank

Frank

Being discovered as just making it up as I go along at work, not having any particularly useful skillsets or leadership abilities, not thinking I'm anything special and feeling like I just luck into doing a good job.
Yeah, I fear getting outed as a fraud at work at every turn. That those above me would decide I never deserved it.


#18

Adam

Adam

Yeah, I fear getting outed as a fraud at work at every turn. That those above me would decide I never deserved it.
There was a poll done of CEOs at major corporations across the US and they all had the same fear. Doesn't make it any less powerful, but it's common.


#19

GasBandit

GasBandit

... didn't we have this thread 6 months ago? I seem to remember one. Then Serarelm came along and claimed to be taking notes...


#20

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

Hippos. THOSE BASTARDS ARE DECEPTIVE! They evolved to look silly and rolly polly to trick man into not thinking they are the 4th deadliest animal in the world. Seriously! Look it up!


#21

WasabiPoptart

WasabiPoptart

Vomit.

And heights/falling.


#22

bhamv3

bhamv3

I'm not very comfortable around lightning, to the point where I generally stay away from windows during thunderstorms.


#23

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

I fear people finding out that I'm not nearly as smart or clever as everyone seems to think I am. This has actually lead to a fear of failure.

I fear getting lost. I get anxiety any time I have to travel someplace I'm not familiar with. Driving in a new city is nerve wracking, even with GPS.


#24

Kovac

Kovac

Spiders.

One of my very early memories as a child was being told there were spiders living under the house which would kill me if they were to bite me, I kinda wonder if my fear of spiders started at this point or if it was incidental. It ramped up a notch in school when people would throw or pretend to throw spiders at me. It freaked me right hell out.

I'm not terribly fond of deep water either. I love swimming but I get to a certain point out in the ocean where I lose complete contact with the ground and I start to wonder what might be able to touch me from below which I can't quite see. It's not an outright phobia and I can push myself to swim pretty far out, but it does tend to make me feel somewhat uncomfortable.

My imagination tends to get away from me.


#25

T

The_Khan

I fear people finding out that I'm not nearly as smart or clever as everyone seems to think I am. This has actually lead to a fear of failure.

I fear getting lost. I get anxiety any time I have to travel someplace I'm not familiar with. Driving in a new city is nerve wracking, even with GPS.
I think that statement would have been cooler if it was wearing a beard.


#26

doomdragon6

doomdragon6

A small fear of heights, but only while moving directly upwards. I can be on a high bridge, travelling downwards, anything like that, and I'm fine. But if I'm in some sort of clear elevator over a large area travelling directly upwards, I'm like "Buhh?..."

Can't think of much else. My greatest insecurity is the passage of time and getting older, but I don't know if that's a fear. Insecurity sounds about right.


#27

Cajungal

Cajungal

I fear that I have nothing truly beautiful to offer the world. I fear that I'm going to share myself with the world and find out that I might as well not have, because it didn't make any difference at all. I fear being pregnant, too. I have horrible dreams about it.


#28

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

I fear that I have nothing truly beautiful to offer the world. I fear that I'm going to share myself with the world and find out that I might as well not have, because it didn't make any difference at all. I fear being pregnant, too. I have horrible dreams about it.
Seej, you need not fear. You have already made a difference with your funny comments, awesome personality, ukulele playing and overall sunny, nothing-gets-me-down personality. You are a wonderful human being, and I count myself lucky having encountered you in the wide world of the internets.



Now, on pregnancy fears... I'm afraid I can't help you there :( But I can call for an expert.

Paging Doctor stienman ... :p


#29

strawman

strawman

Now, on pregnancy fears... I'm afraid I can't help you there :( But I can call for an expert.

Paging Doctor stienman ... :p
Eep!

I fear being pregnant, too. I have horrible dreams about it.
Well I don't blame you, pregnancy fears and related bad dreams are not uncommon, and there are many aspects to it that you have every right to be scared about.

The only thing that I've noticed that helps come to terms with pregnancy and delivery is talking with other women who have gone through it. In most cases they're more than happy to talk about their experience, and almost universally things weren't as bad as they were worried about. Even if you aren't planning on becoming pregnant anytime soon, chatting about it with mothers can at least ease your fears a little.


#30

blotsfan

blotsfan

Kind of heights. I love going on rollar coasters, but when I went to the CN tower over the summer I freaked out trying to stand on the glass floor they have in there.


#31

Cajungal

Cajungal

D'aww thank y'all. Sorry for the fishing; I was very drunk last night. Steiny, I actually don't like talking to women who have given birth. They seem very sneaky in a misery-loves-company kind of way.


#32

strawman

strawman

They seem very sneaky in a misery-loves-company kind of way.
The sneakiest!

Our culture is still very pushy about bearing children. Women who aren't ready or not interested get constant pressure from nearly all sides, and so any conversation about the subject at all turns into a conversation about why they are or aren't having children.

And the misery loves company is kind of what it comes down to anyway. You can't sugarcoat the fact that your sharing your body for nine difficult months with your future child, that it changes you and your body in significant ways, and delivery is a painful and difficult experience. At the end of it you have a child and you don't simply make room in your life for that child, but you have to make significant sacrifices to raise them.

It is difficult, but most of them would say they wouldn't want to be rid of their child and go back to their life before. They miss aspects of their life that they've given up, but they honestly believe that they have something better now than they did prior to having a child.

But there's a lot of misery involved along with that joy, and they do enjoy company. They want to induct you into their motherhood club so they can talk about their latest dirty diaper and you will actually be interested.

Among other things.

It would be nice if they could discuss it somewhat less passionately and without trying to convince you to join them just so you can learn about it in a way that would dispell some of your fears, but I don't think it's possible for them.

Me being a man, I have the wrong perspective to answer your potential questions. But I have lived with a woman who has been pregnant for a combined total of 5 years, and attended 6 deliveries, so I have some experience in the physical aspects of it, I just can't give you the first person perspective.


#33

Cajungal

Cajungal

It's just a strange group to me in general. When I take my niece to the park and women think I'm her mom, they look at me with this weird knowing smile that makes me feel like I'm in a Gerber commercial. It's creepy.


#34

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

It's just a strange group to me in general. When I take my niece to the park and women think I'm her mom, they look at me with this weird knowing smile that makes me feel like I'm in a Gerber commercial. It's creepy.
Honestly, if you want a kid, just take one of Steinman's. I doubt he'd notice.


#35

strawman

strawman

Honestly, if you want a kid, just take one of Steinman's.


#36

Cajungal

Cajungal

Honestly, if you want a kid, just take one of Steinman's. I doubt he'd notice.
I wouldn't mind teaching them. I bet they're awesome. :D


#37

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

It's just a strange group to me in general. When I take my niece to the park and women think I'm her mom, they look at me with this weird knowing smile that makes me feel like I'm in a Gerber commercial. It's creepy.
And when they find out you are not, they go like this:



#38

Cajungal

Cajungal

Hah!! :D


#39

WasabiPoptart

WasabiPoptart

The only thing that I've noticed that helps come to terms with pregnancy and delivery is talking with other women who have gone through it. In most cases they're more than happy to talk about their experience, and almost universally things weren't as bad as they were worried about. Even if you aren't planning on becoming pregnant anytime soon, chatting about it with mothers can at least ease your fears a little.
I completely disagree. Talking to other women about their pregnancy and birth experiences, and even some of the infancy and breastfeeding stuff, scared the bejesus out of me! They all seemed to have these horror stories that made me want to seal my nethers shut. From severe complications in the pregnancy, epidurals that didn't work, and nearly dying during birth to having their nipples practically ripped right off their breasts and being deathly ill due to mastitis - it seemed like nearly every woman I talked to before I became a mom tried to one up the last one in the awful experience department. I think if I had not gotten pregnant with my son "by surprise" (we weren't planning to have a baby just yet) I might have gone the childless route partially because of the things other women told me.


#40

Cajungal

Cajungal

Do some of them talk about these horrible things as if they were papercuts? "Oh, yes, there was some discomfort." Discomfort is what you feel after sitting in a tiny airplane seat for 4 hours or stubbing your toe. What you just described is a nightmare.


#41

Emrys

Emrys

I'm afraid the chemo is going to make me lose my hair. I worked hard on this stuff. I don't want to have to start over.


#42

WasabiPoptart

WasabiPoptart

Do some of them talk about these horrible things as if they were papercuts? "Oh, yes, there was some discomfort." Discomfort is what you feel after sitting in a tiny airplane seat for 4 hours or stubbing your toe. What you just described is a nightmare.
Not all of them. If they didn't talk about it like it was a papercut, then they talked about a hangnail like their finger had been chopped off due to gangrene. Honestly, once I was pregnant I found many things over-exaggerated by other women and in a lot of the advice books out there.


#43

strawman

strawman

The psychology of pain is really interesting to me. The anticipation of an event - whether pleasurable or painful - is often heightened compared to the actual event. The anticipation of sex can make one somewhat disappointed when the sex actually occurs because it wasn't as good as anticipated. The anticipation of a shot or medical procedure can be worse than the actual shot or procedure.

Yeah, there are a lot of really, really difficult and painful things that occur during pregnancy and childbirth. But I suspect there's a few forces at play here that make women who have gone through it talk about it the way they do.

One is that they anticipated it to be much, much worse than it actually was. So by comparison to what they previously expected, it wasn't so bad. Compared to not being pregnant and delivering, though, it was still difficult and painful, but they had built up this conceived notion of what it was expected to be like, and it turned out to be easier than their expectations. It would be like the hospital pain scale - the worst pain is 10, and before you have a child you might think childbirth should be awarded an eleventy-thousand on the pain scale. Perhaps it actually turned out to be a 12 or 20 on the hospital scale that only goes to 10, but it wasn't the "lets add a few more zeros" range either.

Humans don't remember the pain after awhile. They remember they were in pain, and remember it was the worst pain they've ever experienced, but time tends to soften the way we view pains from the past. I haven't yet met a woman that would want to go through childbirth again within a few days and weeks of childbirth, but after a year or two many seriously consider it.

Humans also tend to focus on the unexpected and exceptional cases when discussing common experiences. Try talking to someone about their highschool experience and you won't get the reports about the day to day activities such as homework, class lectures, lunchroom conversation, and common bullying, you'll get the stories about the kid who died on the football field, or the extreme cases of bullying, or the pranks people pulled. Get a group of people together and they'll slowly remember the more exceptional events as they discuss things, and while it seems like they are one upping each other, it's more simply that they are playing off each others memories and remembering more and more outrageous and very exceptional events. It's the same with pregnancy and delivery. Yes, most women have morning sickness and feel bloated near the end. Most women feel like they're waddling, and they have to learn a new way to get into the car and out of chairs. Most women have some form of pain control during delivery, and feel like they are passing a basketball. They aren't going to tell you about having to use the restroom every thirty minutes - it's something they think is uninteresting because it's so common. It's common to have a relatively uneventful pregnancy, and deliver a healthy child at around 40 weeks after several hours of uncomfortable labor, and 30+ minutes of extraordinarily painful labor. Instead they're going to focus on the exceptional times when things went wrong, or portions of the pregnancy were abnormally difficult and unexpected. It's much more interesting to talk about the woman who was in the labor room for forty hours than the woman who was in labor for 5 hours with only 30 minutes of active labor. It's a more interesting topic when the pain control methods don't work, or cause an unexpected reaction such as stopping contractions. It may be that this is something found out third hand, and is very rare, but who wants to talk about how their shoes don't fit anymore when they could talk about the woman who delivered twins, one vaginally and one Cesarian?

But yes. Get a group of mothers on the subject of pregnancy and delivery and you'll hear some very exciting tales. Most of which are very exceptional and rare. Then when you express your fears they go back to issue #1 above - it wasn't as bad as they anticipated.

I get the feeling I could have summed up the above post as "humans be crazy, yo."


#44

Emrys

Emrys

tl;dr - humans stienman be crazy, yo.


#45

WasabiPoptart

WasabiPoptart

(a whole lotta typing)
It also doesn't help that every woman, every pregnancy, every delivery is different. Also, I agree that people tell the gory details and exaggerate because it makes for a more interesting story than talking about a run-of-the-mill experience. That's true for any retelling. If you went to the bank to make a deposit and nothing out of the ordinary happened - meh. If you went to the bank to make a deposit and were there during a robbery - excitement!


#46

Emrys

Emrys

And squeezing an object the size of a watermelon through an opening the size of a tangerine isn't exciting enough?!


#47

WasabiPoptart

WasabiPoptart

Only if they are there to witness it. Otherwise...meh. LOL


#48

Emrys

Emrys

<shudder>
I'll stick with furkids.


#49

GasBandit

GasBandit

<shudder>
I'll stick with furkids.
You're breaking a string of uncountable generations of women all squeezing out that melon, all with less advanced medicine standing by, just so you could exist. The weight of eternity rests squarely upon your shoulders. Will you fail evolution's test, telling your mother, grandmother, great grandmother and every woman (and man for that matter) before you in line that all conspired across the eons to make you that, sorry, it was all for nothing and you're snuffing it without passing it on? Do you admit your inherent inferiority to such a degree that you care not if your genestock vanishes from reality, never to return, invalidating every faith those progenitors had in your future?


#50

Emrys

Emrys

Considering I got my uterus and ovaries ripped out last week, I'm gonna have to say "yes". The ancestors will just have to deal with it.


#51

Wahad

Wahad

Considering I got my uterus and ovaries ripped out last week, I'm gonna have to say "yes". The ancestors will just have to deal with it.
You could always put doomweasels in your will as heirs.


#52

linglingface

linglingface

Spiders. Oooh I hate spiders. They're just so creepy! I hide them under containers until Mike's able to take care of them. The only reason I don't vacuum them up is because I usually have to walk away to grab the vacuum, and I KNOW the spider will have disappeared by the time I get back!

Also, heights, but to an extent. Climbing things is fine, ladders are fine, planes are all good, and I've gone bungee jumping. But if I go hiking and there's an edge somewhere, I won't go anywhere near it. Seeing photos of people sitting on edges gives me chills, people going not even all that close to edges to peek over gives me chills, and leaning against rails gives me the creeps too. I get all irrational if there's a chance of falling off/over something, like what if a bird comes out of no where and scares the shit out of me, causing me to trip and fall? Or what if there's a pebble big enough to make me trip and fall over the edge of the cliff? What if the railing is a little loose from other people leaning on it, and I just happen to be the one to make it fall apart so I fall off this really tall building/balcony? What if I trip and cause my friend to fall over the edge instead? >.>


#53

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

Feral cats. They just scare the hell out of me! I know what their like, since my friend's cat is probably a feral cat. I still like the cat though, but he be CRAZY!


#54

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Feral cats. They just scare the hell out of me! I know what their like, since my friend's cat is probably a feral cat. I still like the cat though, but he be CRAZY!
You know what feral cats are like.. because you think your friend's cat is feral?

If it's a pet, it's probably not feral.


#55

strawman

strawman

If it's a pet, it's probably not feral.
Let him believe as he does, because if a nasty pet is "feral" and causes him to fear, imagine the terror he'd have knowing that real feral cats are much more... well, feral.


#56

GasBandit

GasBandit

The office of a doctor I used to go to had a whole clowder of feral cats living beneath in its foundations. Often looking out the window in a room there, I'd see them slinking up out of or down into the underspace. They seemed rather uninterested in humans, and the doc said they really helped the rodent problem.

On the other hand, the feral hogs I've personally observed (and more often, their aftereffects) have been much more irritating and potentially dangerous.


#57

Emrys

Emrys

You could always put doomweasels in your will as heirs.
Already done. Now I just need to find someone worthy of my empire to take over my underground lair and clean their litter boxes.
Cheesy1, you're my top minion. Would you like the job?


#58

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

You know what feral cats are like.. because you think your friend's cat is feral?

If it's a pet, it's probably not feral.
I think he's feral because my friend's sister "found" him. As in she might've taken him from his mother when he was a kitten. As in he is a territorial beastie who will swipe or bite at you if you go near anything. Or he wil come up to you and scratch/bite you any way


#59

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

I think he's feral because my friend's sister "found" him. As in she might've taken him from his mother when he was a kitten. As in he is a territorial beastie who will swipe or bite at you if you go near anything. Or he wil come up to you and scratch/bite you any way
That's not a feral cat. That's normal cat behavior that doesn't get played with enough/doesn't have an outlet for energy.


#60

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

That's not a feral cat. That's normal cat behavior that doesn't get played with enough/doesn't have an outlet for energy.
Ooooooooooooh, well they told me he MIGHT be feral. Also whenever anyone goes near him he bites them or swipes at them. So should I tell them to play with the cat more or what?


#61

GasBandit

GasBandit

Ooooooooooooh, well they told me he MIGHT be feral. Also whenever anyone goes near him he bites them or swipes at them. So should I tell them to play with the cat more or what?
Sure, if you want to tick them off. A lot of people take umbrage at being told what they should do with their pets.


#62

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Ooooooooooooh, well they told me he MIGHT be feral. Also whenever anyone goes near him he bites them or swipes at them. So should I tell them to play with the cat more or what?
Unless they ask you for advice, let them deal with their little leg-shredder.


#63

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

Sure, if you want to tick them off. A lot of people take umbrage at being told what they should do with their pets.
I'll keep that in mind, thanks.

Running over an animal and killing it. I have nightmares about it some times.


#64

strawman

strawman

I'll keep that in mind, thanks.

Running over an animal and killing it. I have nightmares about it some times.
Animals are pretty spry. The only time I've every hit an animal was when I tried to avoid it. Now I simply maintain speed and direction and I've never hit an animal since. I have done my fair share of driving along dirt roads as a youth too, so it's not for lack of opportunity.

The only time I might vary from my normal position is if it's a large animal such as a deer, and I'm liable to be hurt in the process. Then I'll slam on the brakes if collision is likely and I actually see them in time. Lots of deer around here, but so far so good....


#65

WasabiPoptart

WasabiPoptart

... he is a territorial beastie who will swipe or bite at you if you go near anything. Or he wil come up to you and scratch/bite you any way
My parents' Siamese cat was like this. She didn't like most people with the exception of my mom and my dad when he would give her table food.


#66

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

Animals are pretty spry. The only time I've every hit an animal was when I tried to avoid it. Now I simply maintain speed and direction and I've never hit an animal since. I have done my fair share of driving along dirt roads as a youth too, so it's not for lack of opportunity.

The only time I might vary from my normal position is if it's a large animal such as a deer, and I'm liable to be hurt in the process. Then I'll slam on the brakes if collision is likely and I actually see them in time. Lots of deer around here, but so far so good....
This does help thanks. Its just in the dream I hit a dog and its just covered in blood and what not. Its just the thought of killing something by accident freaks me out.
My parents' Siamese cat was like this. She didn't like most people with the exception of my mom and my dad when he would give her table food.
Yeah my friend's cat is generally nicer to my friend and my friends mom. Still gives them a swipe every now and again but you can tell he tolerates them.


#67

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Already done. Now I just need to find someone worthy of my empire to take over my underground lair and clean their litter boxes.
Cheesy1, you're my top minion. Would you like the job?
Sure! I could always delegate the litter box job to a lower ranked henchman! :p


#68

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

Having any appendage ripped off of me. I have some Grendel issues.


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