I got a few.
An ex-girlfriend and I were driving back to her place after an event downtown. We were dressed up and looking forward to go home to her place, after teasing each other sensually all night. Once in the car one thing led to another and I asked her if she would give me a little road head.
She agreed and began to do her thing as I drove home and she was more enthusiastic than usual and it felt amazing. So I'm trying to drive as careful as possible when boom goes the dynamite. Awesome, right? Wrong.
Apparently we were at a bad angle and when I went off I caused her to instantly gag and she ended up vomiting all over my crotch and drivers seat while I'm still reveling in post blowjob endorphins when all of a sudden I get a whiff of vomit and semen and almost gag myself.
As soon as I realize what has happened I pulled off the road into a parking lot so I can at least attempt to clean up some of the mess and as soon a I park I realize there's a cop on the other side of the parking lot just lurking. He see's me do a high speed turn into the lot late at night so, naturally wants to see what I'm up to.
By the time I get out of the car he's getting out of his as well and he walks up with one hand on his gun belt and the other on his flashlight that's on me and asks "is everything all right?"
Here I am, pants unzipped, crotch area covered in cum and puke and all I can manage to say is, "My girlfriend got sick."
He walks over to her side and she's hanging out of the open door busting up laughing.
He walks back over to me, puts his hand on my shoulder and starts laughing. "Have a good night sir", before walking back to his car and driving away.
And this is how
Officer_Charon and I met.
I once had to fake an orgasm -and I am a guy, so this seems particularly anomalous- because the girl I was with would do little other than lay there. During foreplay she gave the worst blowjob I've ever had (yay teeth?) and refused to tell me what she enjoyed even when directly asked.
