[Rant] Minor Rant III: For a Few Hollers More

Fuck, I'm just nothing but spare parts today. Made back to back ham and cheese sandwiches without cheese, and just now chugged back a cold drink in -18°C weather, -32 with the wind.
 
Me: Hm, I think I'll finally watch Blade Runner. Oh, it's on Amazon Prime Video? Cool. *signs up*

Prime: Oops, you also have to sign up for Starz for another $5.99 a month to watch this!

Me: The fuck? THEN WHY IS IT LISTED? *cancels membership, gets refund*

Shit like this is why people still pirate.
 
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It's finally happened, my hot female supervisor is leaving the company. Officially speaking, she's just going on a six month sabbatical, but the feeling I get from her is that she doesn't intend to come back.

Oh, and I get to take over half of her responsibilities. Yay...
It was my hot female supervisor's last day today. At quitting time, before leaving, she said to me, in a solemn, foreboding tone, "The rest... is up to you now."

On the one hand, it sounded badass. On the other hand, it makes me think there's some major project I'm meant to be working on except I don't know what it is so I haven't been doing it.
 
It was my hot female supervisor's last day today. At quitting time, before leaving, she said to me, in a solemn, foreboding tone, "The rest... is up to you now."

On the one hand, it sounded badass. On the other hand, it makes me think there's some major project I'm meant to be working on except I don't know what it is so I haven't been doing it.
Wait, you haven't been working on the Project? You're not aware of the Project?! And you're the senior remaining member of the team?!
Well, guess Hong Kong's fucked now.
 
It was my hot female supervisor's last day today. At quitting time, before leaving, she said to me, in a solemn, foreboding tone, "The rest... is up to you now."

On the one hand, it sounded badass. On the other hand, it makes me think there's some major project I'm meant to be working on except I don't know what it is so I haven't been doing it.
Maybe it’s to teach my old boss that Google Translate is BAD!
 
Just found out Richard K Morgan, writer of cyberpunk distopian novels such as Altered Carbon and Thin Air, is a massive, gross transphobe. Even going as far as pulling the whole TERF is a slur bullshit and being so aggressive about it that he was banned from Twitter. He had become my favourite author (distopian anti-corporate cyberpunk being 100% my favourite flavour of sci-fi).

Imagine being the author of a sci-fi series where body swapping is the norm and the mind is basically completely separate from the flesh and being a fucking transphobe? When I heard about it, I thought it was inconceivable. What a fucking letdown.
 
I find gender/sex/orientation hate strange, to me it feels like a mental disorder. Especially given your description of the kind of books that author writes. I am sorry thats something you got to deal with frank.
 
I had to verbally smack down a colleague today for overstepping and being an ass. When you add in all the other issues here today, I had to use Skip the Dishes.

Never a good sign.
 
Just found out Richard K Morgan, writer of cyberpunk distopian novels such as Altered Carbon and Thin Air, is a massive, gross transphobe. Even going as far as pulling the whole TERF is a slur bullshit and being so aggressive about it that he was banned from Twitter. He had become my favourite author (distopian anti-corporate cyberpunk being 100% my favourite flavour of sci-fi).

Imagine being the author of a sci-fi series where body swapping is the norm and the mind is basically completely separate from the flesh and being a fucking transphobe? When I heard about it, I thought it was inconceivable. What a fucking letdown.
I've known for a long time, but Orson scott card being a massive bigot is still surprising considering his writing.
 
Looks like I'm out of a job again. Cool. Company claims it has to downsize employees and ten seconds of research show they're doing better than they've ever been. Fuck I love the world right now.

Just gonna sit here and be miserable about how I'm probably going to end up forfeiting my house with nothing to show for it but bad credit.

Also, I turned 37 a week ago. Happy fucking birthday.
 

figmentPez

Staff member
Active shooter lockdown at Lone Star College Kingwood today. I was not on campus when it happened, but several of my friends were. This is only in the minor rant thread because all reports indicate that no one was shot, and that there may not have been a shooter to begin with. There was a 911 call, and possibly someone heard what they thought were gunshots, but nothing is certain right now.

The campus has been cleared and is now closed, though "cleared" doesn't mean emptied of students, as one of my friends was still in her classroom at that point, doing homework after finishing the math test her teacher made them continue to take during the lockdown. The lockdown where they're supposed to turn off the lights and get down on the ground for. No, lights on, testing is more important....

So, scary day for some of my friends.
 
her teacher made them continue to take during the lockdown. The lockdown where they're supposed to turn off the lights and get down on the ground for
I’m sure that possible death by violent means hanging over your head doesn’t make even simple arithmetic any more challenging, carry on...

—Patrick
 
A

Anonymous

Anonymous

Long rambling, unfocused rant. Possibly NSFW, TMI, whatever. I need to tell this to someone and I think this is the only place I can without being judged to hell. If you can guess/know who this is, fine, but please don't ever tell anyone.

So I'm starting to have a strong inkling that I might be trans. I've had these thoughts on and off for a few years now, but they've been pretty consistent the last 6 months or so. These last few weeks it's been incredibly strong to the point where I'm pretty sure I want to at least give it a try.

I'm not someone who "hates" my body per se. I didn't grow up knowing I was in the wrong body or anything. I just...want to be a woman. I like the idea of dressing as one, having the body of one, just living as one. I've read the old adage of "if you could press a button to permanently turn you into the opposite sex, would you?" and I pretty much 100% would. Seeing pictures of trans women makes me feel jealous. I've thought plenty of times that I wish I was trans so I could transition without it really clicking that (maybe) thats what being trans is for some people. I googled around and I read this article, and what she's said about it being a longing more than an identity describes me to a T.

The downside is, I have no way to know how real these feelings even are. I'm not in a situation where I'd feel for my life or anything like that, but there is no way I can even explore this without arousing suspicion. If I took the time to see a therapist that specializes in this kind of stuff, either I'd have to explain what I'm doing, which would never be undone, or I'd have to lie, which is just asking to have things blow up down the line. I'd even love to just buy some clothes, makeup and whatnot and try wearing that for a bit in my house but I don't live alone so that's not feasible. I fantasize a ton about going as women as I can, heading to an LGBT-friendly bar, and just sitting alone by myself. Just as a baby step. I don't really know how I could pull that off though. Not to mention of course the general way trans people are treated in society. I live in a pretty decent area, but I'm not naive enough to think I wouldn't face any of that.

Not to mention, if I start and I find out I'm not and this is a phase or fetish or something, I'll have damaged my life and hurt people for literally no reason. I know the status quo won't make me miserable or anything. I've lived like this for long enough that I can get past it. I just feel like I might be missing out on a chance to be significantly happier. Not to mention I still feel feel like I'm downplaying what real trans people go through/have gone through. I'd like to think I'm not being disrespectful or anything but I'm really sorry if I have been, to all the trans people here. It was 100% not my intention. It's just been taking over my thoughts and I just need a place to share/vent.
 
Long rambling, unfocused rant. Possibly NSFW, TMI, whatever. I need to tell this to someone and I think this is the only place I can without being judged to hell. If you can guess/know who this is, fine, but please don't ever tell anyone.

So I'm starting to have a strong inkling that I might be trans. I've had these thoughts on and off for a few years now, but they've been pretty consistent the last 6 months or so. These last few weeks it's been incredibly strong to the point where I'm pretty sure I want to at least give it a try.

I'm not someone who "hates" my body per se. I didn't grow up knowing I was in the wrong body or anything. I just...want to be a woman. I like the idea of dressing as one, having the body of one, just living as one. I've read the old adage of "if you could press a button to permanently turn you into the opposite sex, would you?" and I pretty much 100% would. Seeing pictures of trans women makes me feel jealous. I've thought plenty of times that I wish I was trans so I could transition without it really clicking that (maybe) thats what being trans is for some people. I googled around and I read this article, and what she's said about it being a longing more than an identity describes me to a T.

The downside is, I have no way to know how real these feelings even are. I'm not in a situation where I'd feel for my life or anything like that, but there is no way I can even explore this without arousing suspicion. If I took the time to see a therapist that specializes in this kind of stuff, either I'd have to explain what I'm doing, which would never be undone, or I'd have to lie, which is just asking to have things blow up down the line. I'd even love to just buy some clothes, makeup and whatnot and try wearing that for a bit in my house but I don't live alone so that's not feasible. I fantasize a ton about going as women as I can, heading to an LGBT-friendly bar, and just sitting alone by myself. Just as a baby step. I don't really know how I could pull that off though. Not to mention of course the general way trans people are treated in society. I live in a pretty decent area, but I'm not naive enough to think I wouldn't face any of that.

Not to mention, if I start and I find out I'm not and this is a phase or fetish or something, I'll have damaged my life and hurt people for literally no reason. I know the status quo won't make me miserable or anything. I've lived like this for long enough that I can get past it. I just feel like I might be missing out on a chance to be significantly happier. Not to mention I still feel feel like I'm downplaying what real trans people go through/have gone through. I'd like to think I'm not being disrespectful or anything but I'm really sorry if I have been, to all the trans people here. It was 100% not my intention. It's just been taking over my thoughts and I just need a place to share/vent.

It's 2020 already, go buy a dress and some makeup.

Ok, more serious, I don't have any answers for you. I know you probably aren't expecting answers. Identity is one of those really complex things that are impossible to describe. I just want you to know that I feel for you, and I hope you find yourself in a position where you can explore this if you want to, either to find the identity you didn't know you were missing, or to at least discover it's not what you thought.
 
Long rambling, unfocused rant. Possibly NSFW, TMI, whatever. I need to tell this to someone and I think this is the only place I can without being judged to hell. If you can guess/know who this is, fine, but please don't ever tell anyone.

So I'm starting to have a strong inkling that I might be trans. I've had these thoughts on and off for a few years now, but they've been pretty consistent the last 6 months or so. These last few weeks it's been incredibly strong to the point where I'm pretty sure I want to at least give it a try.

I'm not someone who "hates" my body per se. I didn't grow up knowing I was in the wrong body or anything. I just...want to be a woman. I like the idea of dressing as one, having the body of one, just living as one. I've read the old adage of "if you could press a button to permanently turn you into the opposite sex, would you?" and I pretty much 100% would. Seeing pictures of trans women makes me feel jealous. I've thought plenty of times that I wish I was trans so I could transition without it really clicking that (maybe) thats what being trans is for some people. I googled around and I read this article, and what she's said about it being a longing more than an identity describes me to a T.

The downside is, I have no way to know how real these feelings even are. I'm not in a situation where I'd feel for my life or anything like that, but there is no way I can even explore this without arousing suspicion. If I took the time to see a therapist that specializes in this kind of stuff, either I'd have to explain what I'm doing, which would never be undone, or I'd have to lie, which is just asking to have things blow up down the line. I'd even love to just buy some clothes, makeup and whatnot and try wearing that for a bit in my house but I don't live alone so that's not feasible. I fantasize a ton about going as women as I can, heading to an LGBT-friendly bar, and just sitting alone by myself. Just as a baby step. I don't really know how I could pull that off though. Not to mention of course the general way trans people are treated in society. I live in a pretty decent area, but I'm not naive enough to think I wouldn't face any of that.

Not to mention, if I start and I find out I'm not and this is a phase or fetish or something, I'll have damaged my life and hurt people for literally no reason. I know the status quo won't make me miserable or anything. I've lived like this for long enough that I can get past it. I just feel like I might be missing out on a chance to be significantly happier. Not to mention I still feel feel like I'm downplaying what real trans people go through/have gone through. I'd like to think I'm not being disrespectful or anything but I'm really sorry if I have been, to all the trans people here. It was 100% not my intention. It's just been taking over my thoughts and I just need a place to share/vent.
Thank you for trusting us enough to share this. If I can help or support you in any way, please let me know. <hugs>
 
Long rambling, unfocused rant. Possibly NSFW, TMI, whatever. I need to tell this to someone and I think this is the only place I can without being judged to hell. If you can guess/know who this is, fine, but please don't ever tell anyone.

So I'm starting to have a strong inkling that I might be trans. I've had these thoughts on and off for a few years now, but they've been pretty consistent the last 6 months or so. These last few weeks it's been incredibly strong to the point where I'm pretty sure I want to at least give it a try.

I'm not someone who "hates" my body per se. I didn't grow up knowing I was in the wrong body or anything. I just...want to be a woman. I like the idea of dressing as one, having the body of one, just living as one. I've read the old adage of "if you could press a button to permanently turn you into the opposite sex, would you?" and I pretty much 100% would. Seeing pictures of trans women makes me feel jealous. I've thought plenty of times that I wish I was trans so I could transition without it really clicking that (maybe) thats what being trans is for some people. I googled around and I read this article, and what she's said about it being a longing more than an identity describes me to a T.

The downside is, I have no way to know how real these feelings even are. I'm not in a situation where I'd feel for my life or anything like that, but there is no way I can even explore this without arousing suspicion. If I took the time to see a therapist that specializes in this kind of stuff, either I'd have to explain what I'm doing, which would never be undone, or I'd have to lie, which is just asking to have things blow up down the line. I'd even love to just buy some clothes, makeup and whatnot and try wearing that for a bit in my house but I don't live alone so that's not feasible. I fantasize a ton about going as women as I can, heading to an LGBT-friendly bar, and just sitting alone by myself. Just as a baby step. I don't really know how I could pull that off though. Not to mention of course the general way trans people are treated in society. I live in a pretty decent area, but I'm not naive enough to think I wouldn't face any of that.

Not to mention, if I start and I find out I'm not and this is a phase or fetish or something, I'll have damaged my life and hurt people for literally no reason. I know the status quo won't make me miserable or anything. I've lived like this for long enough that I can get past it. I just feel like I might be missing out on a chance to be significantly happier. Not to mention I still feel feel like I'm downplaying what real trans people go through/have gone through. I'd like to think I'm not being disrespectful or anything but I'm really sorry if I have been, to all the trans people here. It was 100% not my intention. It's just been taking over my thoughts and I just need a place to share/vent.
In addition to all of the above, there are therapy specialists who can help you navigate the complexities of your feelings. Their job is to get you from the confusion you are feeling to some clarity, whatever it is. I don't mean a cure (That's stupid) but just a resource to help you untangle....you.
 
I think most people feel like an impostor in some way, at some point in their life. Whether you're "really" trans or it's just a phase, whether other trans people have it worse, etc, doesn't invalidate your feelings - there'll always be gatekeepers to tell you you're not "really" one of them. Don't let that het to you - your feelings are yours and are real, wherever that may lead you.
Don't have any answers otherwise, either, really, good luck.
 
Also, you can go to therapy without saying why you're going to therapy. You can be vague without lying. I don't personally think you're required to divulge the reasons you are going, everyone needs someone to talk to sometimes. Some spouses may feel differently though.
 
Long rambling, unfocused rant. Possibly NSFW, TMI, whatever. I need to tell this to someone and I think this is the only place I can without being judged to hell. If you can guess/know who this is, fine, but please don't ever tell anyone.

Lengthy, risky rant.
Well I don’t have a guess on who this is, but that doesn’t really matter.
For what it’s worth, I’m right there with you, at least as far as the curiosity part goes. I’ve already gone on record as wanting to know how everything works, and when I say “everything,” I mean EVERYTHING. If there were a booth or a neural interface or what have you, I would play hooky from work in a second to sign up SO LONG AS the process was 100% reversible. I know I’m not trans. I’m not even ‘fluid. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to see what the experience would be like. And I mean the experience of the parts you describe: the fashion, the lifestyle, the romance, etc. I don’t mean the other stuff: the discrimination, the glass ceiling, the social pressures, and all that. For that matter, I also want to know what it’s like to be (free as) a bird, what with the flying and the carefree lifestyle, but not so much the eating bugs and constant terror of being eaten parts.

That said, I’m pretty sure wanting to wear women’s clothing or even to have breasts (via implants and/or hormone therapy) doesn’t automatically make a person trans(sexual) any more than wanting a split tongue or vertical slit contacts automatically makes them a lizard, it just means you want women's’ clothing/breasts. Cross-dressing/transvestism is a thing. Sissy play/feminization is a thing. Gender transformation is a thing. Crossplay/role-swapping is a thing. Androgyny and genderfluidity are also things. I see plenty of guys wearing nail polish and makeup these days, and more than a few wearing women’s clothing that fits (which is implies the opposite of Secret—made for a woman, but sized for a man).

Only you can decide how you want to act within your social circle, but as plenty of (current and former) forumites can probably attest... yeah, there’s gonna be some upheaval. I think the bigger question to ask yourself is whether the satisfaction of publicly doing what you describe would outweigh the discomfort. Could you see yourself waking up one morning, looking in the closet, and saying. “I’m going to wear that red dress today. I might catch flak for it, but dammit today is just a ‘red dress’ kind of day!” out loud, and then totally going through with it? If so, then by all means take a trip to someplace you’ve never been and try it out in an environment where your adventure is unlikely to follow you home (if you’re worried what your social circle might think, that is).

EDIT: Added spoiler tags.
EDIT2: fixed spelling
—Patrick
...much like Poe, I’m fine talking about just about anything. Very little is taboo, so long as it’s something you actually want to discuss. I’m no professional, though.
 
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My employer sends out a notice today that the company has partnered with "My Wellness" which is a dumb "optional" app that you can use to earn points by promising not to eat meat on Mondays, or to sign up for stop smoking programs, etc.


Oh, and if you don't use it and earn at least 100 points a week, a $30 "wellness premium" is deducted from your pay every week.

Fuck that, you better believe I'm complaining to hr about this.
 
My employer sends out a notice today that the company has partnered with "My Wellness" which is a dumb "optional" app that you can use to earn points by promising not to eat meat on Mondays, or to sign up for stop smoking programs, etc.


Oh, and if you don't use it and earn at least 100 points a week, a $30 "wellness premium" is deducted from your pay every week.

Fuck that, you better believe I'm complaining to hr about this.
Jesus Christ your country keeps getting more and more insane with that Orwellian crap. I just read about that dude that had the 300+ page printout of all the "questionable" tweets he's ever liked sent to him by some vetting agency. Least you don't have social credit yet that determines if you can fly or use trains or such shit.
 
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