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Gridiron Wars (2016 NFL Off-Season Thread)

#1

jwhouk

jwhouk

House Kraft has received a seeming death blow from House Gooddell, smiting his young knight Brady from starting the Long Winter.

House Allen has spent all the summer trying valiantly to forget the stupendously bad call made as the Holy Grail of Lombardi was in their grasp.

Meanwhile, House Cheesehead and their noble leader Sir Aaron the XII has chosen to reconcile with their black sheep, He Of The Misspelled Last Name From Kiln.

Houses Wilf and Bisciotti have struggled with off-field legals issues with their star warriors (Peterson and Rice), while House Khan simply tries to figure out which end of the sword to use.

House Haslam, tiring of his ever-drunken knight John the Agricultural, brought out of retirement Paladin Timotheus On One Knee.

House Pegula, now on the throne once occupied by King Wilson By The Falls, is trying to figure out how they can get a moribund franchise turned around.

Meanwhile, everyone is laughing at House Jones - just because. Though the TV screen at his castle is awesome for watching HBO.

Houses Davis, Kroenke, and Spanos all want to invade that mystical market that once housed the grand throne of House Rosenbloom. House Davis, claiming the rights given to their late head (King Al Just Win Baby), wants badly to return.

House Snyder is just being laughed at for his knight, Sir REIII, and his racist colors.

House Rooney continues to pray their knight has gotten over his predilection for falling off his horse.

House Lurie is waiting for the attack plan of the general of his army (Sir Chip Off The Oregon Duck) to come to fruition.

House Glazer has made a all-or-nothing gambit on a troubled lad from their backwaters, Jamies of the Publix Shrimp.

And House Adams has chosen its lot with one young knight that Sir Chip had longed to lead his attack for House Lurie.

There are, of course, many others in this Game of Thrones - but they all seek the one Holy Grail that will be awarded one February Sunday in 2016 - The Holy Grail of Saint Vincent Lombardi. (Of course, House Cheesehead is planning on being there to take it home where it rightfully belongs, but that goes without saying.)

So, my sweet summer children - what say you on this season of Game of Thrones (Gridiron Wars)?


#2

jwhouk

jwhouk

For you who are scratching heads:
Arizona: House Bidwill
Atlanta: House Blank
Baltimore: House Bisciotti (formerly House Modell)
Buffalo: House Pegula (formerly House Wilson)
Carolina: House Richardson
Chicago: House Halas
Cincinnati: House Brown
Cleveland: House Haslam
Dallas: House of Jones
Denver: House Bowlen
Detroit: House Ford
Green Bay: House Cheesehead (We have no owner. We are Legion.)
Houston: House McNair
Indianapolis House Irsay (Irsay the Incoherent)
Jacksonville: House Khan
Kansas City: House Hunt
Miami: House Ross (formerly House of Robbie)
Minnesota: House Wilf
New England: House Kraft (Current Holder of the Holy Grail of St. Vincent Lombardi)
New Orleans: House Benson
New York Giants: House Mara
New York Jets: House Johnson (formerly House Werblin)
Oakland: House Davis
Philadelphia: House Lurie
Pittsburgh: House Rooney
San Diego: House Spanos
San Francisco: House York (formerly House DeBartolo)
Seattle: House Allen (lost the Holy Grail to House Kraft)
Tampa Bay: House Glazer (not liked by Clan Manchester the United)
Tennessee: House Adams
Washington: House Snyder (formerly House Marshall the Bigoted, currently aka House Snyder the Racist)


#3

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Please take down the game of thrones reference, I still get pissed off every time I see it on the NHL thread.


#4

jwhouk

jwhouk

Sorry. But the NFL deserves it.


#5

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Sorry, for being rude about it. But I clicked the NHL thread so many times, thinking it was Game of Thrones. By time I wanted to say something about it, it was already playoff time.


#6

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

jwhouk said:
House Allen has spent all the summer trying valiantly to forget the stupendously bad call made as the Holy Grail of Lombardi was in their grasp.
Click to expand...
It was not a bad call. They had three tries for the end zone, but only one timeout. That play, or the one after, was going to be a pass. And no matter how good a RB is, they still regularly get stuffed for a loss at the goal line. Running the ball was not an automatic TD. It was not a bad call.


It was an excellent interception, though.[DOUBLEPOST=1432231419,1432231249][/DOUBLEPOST]Anyway . . . I'm guessing Dallas makes it to the Superbowl, but lose it on their last play when they let Romo throw from the 1 yard line.


#7

General Specific

General Specific

I'm going to predict a more consistent year for Carolina ("House Richardson" if we must do that), a few more wins and probably a playoff berth, but not much further than last year. Another year or so to find some missing pieces and then we might be able to put a good run at the title together.


#8

jwhouk

jwhouk

The GOT thing was supposed to be a joke for those of us not GRR Martin fans. So no, don't feel like you have to keep up with the house-name thing.


#9

Tress

Tress

As a 49ers fan, I'm dreading this season. I believe that SF is about to have one of the biggest drop-offs in NFL history. I have never seen a team get dismantled so quickly in one off-season.


#10

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

I expect this year will be like the last 15 for me. My Bills are gonna come out - if not strong, decent, and then collapse into pointlessness so by the time they play the Patriots the second time I will be firmly rooting for them bloody Bostonians, my "second" team.




And yeah, I actually do cheer for two teams in the same division.[DOUBLEPOST=1432787820,1432787595][/DOUBLEPOST](But not in baseball. Fuck the Red Sox. Alas, the Jays are like the Bills . . . except they actually were able to win it all back way back in the early nineties when they were playoff worthy)


#11

jwhouk

jwhouk

...And they "borrowed" one of the greatest players who ever wore a Brewers uniform for a couple of years to do it.


#12

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Well the Texans will be on Hard Knocks this year, against their will. Nobody wanted the distraction, but the NFL forced it upon the Texans.


#13

Tress

Tress

sixpackshaker said:
Well the Texans will be on Hard Knocks this year, against their will. Nobody wanted the distraction, but the NFL forced it upon the Texans.
Click to expand...
Interesting. But it's better for the NFL as a whole; the show raises interest in the league among the public. Every team has to bite the bullet at some point.


#14

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Officially the Texans are fired up about being on the show... Funny how money makes people change their tunes.


#15

jwhouk

jwhouk

On a not-quite-on-topic post - but one our Fearless Leader might find interesting:

$75 a game - Indoor Football in Omaha


#16

Covar

Covar

Tress said:
Interesting. But it's better for the NFL as a whole; the show raises interest in the league among the public. Every team has to bite the bullet at some point.
Click to expand...
Does it though? The NFL is already hugely popular, and Hard Knocks is on HBO. It's not like it's on a regular cable channel where it could be watched by about 2/3rds the country.


#17

Tress

Tress

With Aldon Smith's arrest and subsequent release from the 49ers, this has to be the biggest offseason collapse for a team in recent NFL history.

For those of you who lost track, the 49ers have lost 12 of their 22 starters from last year. It's all been due to free agency, unexpected retirements, and now release due to criminal behavior.


#18

Gared

Gared

Tress said:
With Aldon Smith's arrest and subsequent release from the 49ers, this has to be the biggest offseason collapse for a team in recent NFL history.

For those of you who lost track, the 49ers have lost 12 of their 22 starters from last year. It's all been due to free agency, unexpected retirements, and now release due to criminal behavior.
Click to expand...
Hopefully they can cobble something vaguely resembling a team together. I've always like the 49ers (especially now that jackass isn't their coach anymore).


#19

Tress

Tress

You reminded me, I forgot to list that almost the entire coaching staff left too. Head coach, defensive coordinator, offensive coordinator, tons of assistants... gone. It's a clusterfuck.


#20

jwhouk

jwhouk

In other news, Aaron Rodgers nearly had a pass intercepted in practice today.


#21

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

Jets gonna Jet. :facepalm:


#22

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

DarkAudit said:
Jets gonna Jet. :facepalm:
Click to expand...
I bet that there are 2 openings on the team now.


#23

jwhouk

jwhouk

So - do you know how to punt? If so, the Pittsburgh Steelers want to talk to you.


#24

blotsfan

blotsfan

According to Adam Schefter, the fight was because Smith hadn't paid the other guy the $600 that he owed him.

Meanwhile, that punch cost that player approximately $500k.


#25

blotsfan

blotsfan

blotsfan said:
According to Adam Schefter, the fight was because Smith hadn't paid the other guy the $600 that he owed him.

Meanwhile, that punch cost that player approximately $500k.
Click to expand...
Yep. It cost him $500k. Because no team would consider taking him right now. No team at all...


#26

Gared

Gared

blotsfan said:
Yep. It cost him $500k. Because no team would consider taking him right now. No team at all...
Click to expand...
Hm. I expected that to be Houston or Dallas, not Buffalo.


#27

blotsfan

blotsfan

Rex Ryan.


#28

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

blotsfan said:
Rex Ryan.
Click to expand...
*sigh*


#29

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker



#30

Tress

Tress

sixpackshaker said:
Click to expand...
So sad, so true.


#31

HCGLNS

HCGLNS

And Brady is free!!!


#32

Dave

Dave

Cheating is fine as long as you are a white superstar. Got it.


#33

HCGLNS

HCGLNS

Dave said:
Cheating is fine as long as you are a white superstar. Got it.
Click to expand...
Heh. No cheating occurred. Because it was shown that how they test the balls is ridiculously unreliable. As in a preschooler could have done a better job of testing.


#34

Tress

Tress

I don't like the Patriots at all, but this was truly making a mountain out of a molehill. The NFL was trying to look tough after they got in trouble for merely slapping wife beaters and alcoholics on the wrist.


#35

evilmike

evilmike

Dave said:
Cheating is fine as long as you are a white superstar. Got it.
Click to expand...
Seriously? Did you even follow this story?

I think the biggest indication of how badly the NFL and Roger Goodell screwed up is that they made Tom Brady into a sympathetic figure.


#36

Zappit

Zappit



#37

PatrThom

PatrThom

HCGLNS said:
Heh. No cheating occurred. Because it was shown that how they test the balls is ridiculously unreliable. As in a preschooler could have done a better job of testing.
Click to expand...
"Within spec"

EDIT: for @HCGLNS - Because the tolerances in the spec must have been listed with enough leeway to account for their sloppy testing method. That must be why it passed.

--Patrick


#38

HCGLNS

HCGLNS

PatrThom said:
"Within spec"

EDIT: for @HCGLNS - Because the tolerances in the spec must have been listed with enough leeway to account for their sloppy testing method. That must be why it passed.

--Patrick
Click to expand...
Oh gosh no. The actual testing was much more open for interpretation. Imagine if you will being asked to measure the height of a class of first graders to the nearest CM and the only tool you have is a cardboard cut out of Shaquille O'Neal.


#39

PatrThom

PatrThom

HCGLNS said:
the only tool you have is a cardboard cut out of Shaquille O'Neal.
Click to expand...
How many gerbilcorns is that?

--Patrick


#40

Telephius

Telephius

evilmike said:
I think the biggest indication of how badly the NFL and Roger Goodell screwed up is that they made Tom Brady into a sympathetic figure.
Click to expand...
Really if they wanted Tom Brady to look bad they should have hired a courtroom illustrator as part of their team.


#41

Celt Z

Celt Z

PatrThom said:
How many gerbilcorns is that?
Click to expand...
Those are only for measuring hair.


#42

jwhouk

jwhouk

So - prognostidigiation time.

New England, Cincinnati, Houston, Denver, KC and Indy as your playoff teams in the AFC; Giants, Atlanta, Seattle, Lions and the Cowboys all chasing the Pack.

And my prognostication for Super Bowl L... er, I mean, "50": last year's champion loses to the team whose head coach won the first Super Bowl. :)


#43

HCGLNS

HCGLNS

jwhouk said:
And my prognostication for Super Bowl L... er, I mean, "50": last year's champion loses to the team whose head coach won the first Super Bowl. :)
Click to expand...
I am ok with that.


#44

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

jwhouk said:
So - prognostidigiation time.

New England, Cincinnati, Houston, Denver, KC and Indy as your playoff teams in the AFC; Giants, Atlanta, Seattle, Lions and the Cowboys all chasing the Pack.

And my prognostication for Super Bowl L... er, I mean, "50": last year's champion loses to the team whose head coach won the first Super Bowl. :)
Click to expand...
So who will the Jets be playing in the actual Super Bowl? :p

(Read the first sentence of the link. ;))


#45

Celt Z

Celt Z

DarkAudit said:
Jets... in the actual Super Bowl
Click to expand...
:rofl:


#46

jwhouk

jwhouk

DarkAudit said:
So who will the Jets be playing in the actual Super Bowl? :p

(Read the first sentence of the link. ;))
Click to expand...
<INSULT REDACTED>


#47

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

jwhouk said:
<INSULT REDACTED>
Click to expand...
Don't look at me. You're the one who put them there by trying to be all cute and cryptic. [emoji13]

This is going to be one of those years where I'm glad to sleep through the entire season. My Terrible Towel is still at the bottom of a laundry basket. After signing Vick, I was ready to just toss it in the trash.


#48

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!


#49

jwhouk

jwhouk

Back on June 1st, the local CBS station in Wausau, WSAW bought the Fox station that serviced most of central Wisconsin, WFXS 55 based out of Rhinelander. This wouldn't be a problem otherwise, but it has suddenly taken a turn for the sour here in the northern part of central Wisconsin - because they have not switched the HD signal over due to licensing issues.

Guess what definition level I have to watch the Bears-Packers game in?


#50

blotsfan

blotsfan

sixpackshaker said:
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Click to expand...
I didnt know you were Jewish.


#51

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

Go Bills.


#52

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker



NOW, it is Football Season.


#53

jwhouk

jwhouk

True. It's not really the new season until Jay Cutler throws his first interception.


#54

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Gruebeard said:
Go Bills.
Click to expand...
that looked like one hell of a game.


#55

blotsfan

blotsfan

It was. People were getting so hyped. Might've been the loudest I've ever heard the Ralph. Probably gonna top it next week though. Mr. Brady is coming to town.


#56

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

HAPPY DANCE...

do not pick up a 90lb dog for your happy dance.


#57

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

sixpackshaker said:
HAPPY DANCE...

do not pick up a 90lb dog for your happy dance.
Click to expand...
Man, I learned that lesson long ago when I first started dating.:troll:


#58

PatrThom

PatrThom

Gruebeard said:
Man, I learned that lesson long ago when I first started dating.:troll:
Click to expand...
I'm thinking we should institute some sort of screening and prequalification process before you date.

--Patrick


#59

Dave

Dave

The Cowboys are officially going to give me a heart attack this season.


#60

PatrThom

PatrThom

Dave said:
The Cowboys are officially going to give me a heart attack this season.
Click to expand...
First you go blue, then you go grey.

--Patrick


#61

jwhouk

jwhouk

My Facebook wall has been full of Bear Memes all week.

It. Has. Been. GLORIOUS.



#62

jwhouk

jwhouk



#63

Dave

Dave

Dez gone? Check!

Romo broken collar bone and gone? Check!

Cowboys going to have a very difficult rest of season? Yes.

:aaah:


#64

blotsfan

blotsfan



#65

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Dave said:
Dez gone? Check!

Romo broken collar bone and gone? Check!

Cowboys going to have a very difficult rest of season? Yes.

:aaah:
Click to expand...
DAMMIT


#66

Gared

Gared

Damn, somebody better tell the Cowboys that there are two halves of a football game.


#67

jwhouk

jwhouk

Like someone better tell UT that there are more than three periods in a football game?


#68

General Specific

General Specific

I am genuinely surprised that the Panthers beat the Seahawks and that we are sitting at 5-0. I thought we were done for when Kelvin Benjamin went out for the season.


#69

Gared

Gared

General Specific said:
I am genuinely surprised that the Panthers beat the Seahawks and that we are sitting at 5-0. I thought we were done for when Kelvin Benjamin went out for the season.
Click to expand...
I wouldn't be surprised - you guys played a good, hard-fought game, and didn't give up and roll over in the 4th quarter.


#70

General Specific

General Specific

Gared said:
I wouldn't be surprised - you guys played a good, hard-fought game, and didn't give up and roll over in the 4th quarter.
Click to expand...
That's really the part that surprised me. Last few years we have had problems finishing games. Especially against Seattle.


#71

blotsfan

blotsfan

Happiness is dead. There is only pain.


#72

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

blotsfan said:
Happiness is dead. There is only pain.
Click to expand...
That's what you get for having a cat - doesn't matter if it's the right cat - as your avatar. You let your team down.


*Looks at his own avatar*

:oops:


#73

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

I have no regrets about sleeping through the season. By the time I get up, even the twitter waaangst from the game has scrolled on by.


#74

jwhouk

jwhouk

I won my NFL league this week literally because my opponent had two guys on bye. Had he even thought about starting someone on his bench, he'd have beaten me.


#75

DarkAudit

DarkAudit



#76

Tress

Tress

Jesus, the 49ers suck this year. :(


#77

blotsfan

blotsfan

Oh just need a new coach to turn it around. Have you heard about michigan's coach? He's done a great job.


#78

Tress

Tress

blotsfan said:
Oh just need a new coach to turn it around. Have you heard about michigan's coach? He's done a great job.
Click to expand...
Proof that being an asshole and being a good football coach are NOT mutually exclusive. The 49ers owners/front office were stupid and petty for chasing Harbaugh away.


#79

Charlie Don't Surf

Charlie Don't Surf

relegate the AFC South to Division I


#80

General Specific

General Specific

Panthers almost gave me a heart attack several times last night. It was a great comeback by Indy. Aided by some bad calls by the refs, but what game doesn't have some borderline or outright wrong calls? Anyway, Panthers found that little extra to pull out the win.

And may I just say that Mike Tirico and Gruden really needed to stop repeating the same phrases. They wouldn't shut up about how Cam Newton is a big man and he can run the ball early on and then they wouldn't stop repeating that if Indy got the win, it'd be huge and just the turn around they'd need. Over and over and over.


#81

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

General Specific said:
And may I just say that Mike Tirico and Gruden really needed to stop repeating the same phrases. They wouldn't shut up about how Cam Newton is a big man and he can run the ball early on and then they wouldn't stop repeating that if Indy got the win, it'd be huge and just the turn around they'd need. Over and over and over.
Click to expand...
Reminds me of the guy on the B (or is it C?) crew on Baseball Tonight. Kept using "on the bump" referring to the pitcher over and over and over and over again. Find another cliche, dude.


#82

General Specific

General Specific

Another week, another nail-biting finish for the Panthers. We can't keep doing this. Need to put teams away or we are going to start losing games instead of pulling out a win.


#83



BErt

General Specific said:
Another week, another nail-biting finish for the Panthers. We can't keep doing this. Need to put teams away or we are going to start losing games instead of pulling out a win.
Click to expand...
Looking at the rest of your schedule, I think you need to just relax and enjoy the fun team they're putting in the field. You guys lost your best receiver before the season started and your best running back is your quarterback. And you're undefeated. Have fun. Football is fun. And I'm saying this as a lions fan.


#84

General Specific

General Specific

Yeah, still have to play Atlanta twice, but they just lost to the Titans of all people. It's hard for me to relax watching the Panthers because I have been a fan of theirs since the beginning and I remember all those seasons when we did really well at the start and then tanked the second half. I know, new coach, new players, and all that, but it still nags at me.


#85

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

They've already made the playoffs (essentially), so you're good to go. A perfect season is nicec, but remember: the last team with a perfect season lost when it mattered.


Fucking Giants.


#86

jwhouk

jwhouk

General: if this was January, I'd use a few choice cuss words and walk away. However, it appears we just gave you the NFC title. Yours to lose, kids.


#87

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

Another state tells the DFS sites to take their semantics and shove it.


#88

Covar

Covar

Don't get me wrong, I think daily fantasy is very much gambling (in the same way as horse racing), but I find it very interesting that the two states with the biggest problems with it are Nevada and NY, with it's rather large horse racing interest. At least Nevada was honest about how they just want licensing money from them.


#89

blotsfan

blotsfan

From what I can tell, that's new York's motives too.


#90

jwhouk

jwhouk

If it didn't involve money, it wouldn't smell like gambling.


#91

Covar

Covar

blotsfan said:
From what I can tell, that's new York's motives too.
Click to expand...
Oh no doubt, but according to the State Attorney General in the article DA linked it's not. It's about protecting the community for the dangers and horrors of gambling. (and keeping Lottery revenue up no doubt)


#92

Zappit

Zappit

I just like how my governor tried a free round one weekend and decided it was a game of skill and not gambling.


#93

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

First Sunday I've had off all season, and of course the Steelers are in their bye week. So I've still managed to not seen a minute of live NFL action this year.


#94

jwhouk

jwhouk

@blotsfan - You guys got jobbed.


#95

blotsfan

blotsfan

Eh it was awful officiating for both teams. I blame bad coaching more than the refs.


#96

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

blotsfan said:
I blame bad coaching
Click to expand...
Rex Ryan makes it hard for me to cheer for the Bills . . . and yet the playoffs are actually in reach.


#97

Zappit

Zappit

Is there anybody who actually likes Rex Ryan as a human being? The guy comes off as an angry Junior High school teacher whose own dreams of glory were dashed years ago.


#98

jwhouk

jwhouk

That's what makes him fun to watch.

I wouldn't want him anywhere near the Packers, of course, but he's fun to watch.


#99

blotsfan

blotsfan

Rex's personality is fine. He likes to have fun, but he never really says anything disrespectful. You can tell he has a lot of respect for Belichick, he just has fun talking shit.

My issue with him is how he ruined our defense and has no concept of clock management.


#100



BErt

Fucking, really??
image.jpeg


#101

General Specific

General Specific

I am a Panthers fan and I loved the win today, but did not like seeing Romo go down again. Sad to see him go out like that after just getting back.


#102

Covar

Covar

Feels like they brought him back too early.


#103

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

Covar said:
Feels like they brought him back too early.
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I recall a doctor commenting on ESPN about how long Romo would be out the first time, and how often previous patients of his would re-break their clavicles if they came back before about 8 weeks.


#104

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

Sorry, @jwhouk, but someone was eventually going to post this anyway...


#105

jwhouk

jwhouk

Oh, I don't mind at all. It was the perfect epithet for what happened.

Everyone in Cheesehead Nation waited for Cutler to Cutler. He never did.


#106

PatrThom

PatrThom

DarkAudit said:
Sorry, @jwhouk, but someone was eventually going to post this anyway...
Click to expand...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fleeting_expletive

--Patrick


#107

Dave

Dave

Nomo Romo.


#108

Covar

Covar

Took me a while to figure out which thread was the NFL thread.

I'm sad that there's a part of me today who wished the Patriots hadn't lost last night, only so that I wouldn't have to be seeing all these articles and excuses about them today. Then again if they were a .500 or worse team it would probably be just like the Cowboys, where every single year according to the press they're the surefire favorites, getting ready to turn it around, or had disappointing circumstances surrounding their losses.


#109

Dei

Dei

Well living in Colorado, everything on the radio was making fun of Tom Brady, which I can totally get behind. [emoji14]


#110

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

Browns gonna Brown. :rofl:


#111

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

Dei said:
Well living in Colorado, everything on the radio was making fun of Tom Brady, which I can totally get behind. [emoji14]
Click to expand...
I haven't checked the stats, yet. Did Brady throw 5 for 20 with 4 interceptions? ;)


#112

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

Lions gonna Lion. :facepalm:


#113

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

I'm gonna predict the outcome of this weekend's game, with 100% accuracy:


Winners gonna win. Losers gonna lose. Patriots gonna cheat.


#114

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

Well, the Patriots should've cheated.


#115

General Specific

General Specific

Wow, gotta give props to the Saints, they came to play. And a lot of missed/bad calls on both sides kinda marred the game. Could have gone either way, but glad the Panthers pulled out the win.


#116

jwhouk

jwhouk

Hey, that one blurry dot on the right side of the end zone shot, at Heinz Field! I think that was a @DarkAudit!


#117

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

Figures I was at the wrong end zone to see this...


#118

jwhouk

jwhouk

That celebration just wins. Though the poor girl standing on the other side nearly jumped a foot in the air...


#119

General Specific

General Specific

The one Steve Smith did while still a Panther was better, he grabbed on and slid down the post.


#120

Covar

Covar

God I hate the Panther's radio crew. Their color commentator sounds like a fan who won a contest.


#121

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Wow, the Texans finally beat Indy in Indy.


#122

General Specific

General Specific

Panthers, this is what I was talking about earlier in the season about putting teams away. Almost bit us again.

Also, I hope Odell Beckam Jr is suspended and heavily fined for the helmet-to-helmet hit on Josh Norman. He got away with so many personal fouls today that I was starting to think he had paid off the refs personally. He can be a great receiver, but when things were going against him today he turned into a big cry baby, hitting and throwing punches at anyone covering him.


#123

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

Kid might want to watch his knees the rest of the season. Just sayin'.


#124

General Specific

General Specific

Well, Panthers, this is what I've been talking about all season. Today we just played poorly. Offense couldn't get anything going and defense was bad as well.

We still have one game left to clinch home field through the playoffs, but we could have rested and played loose next week, but now we will have to battle it out.


#125

jwhouk

jwhouk

Today was a preview of what the Packers' first playoff game will look like. Horrid.


#126

Dave

Dave

Today is like what the entire Cowboy's season has been like. Horrid.


#127

Tress

Tress

Remember fellas: at least you're not the 49ers.


#128

jwhouk

jwhouk

...This is true.


#129

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

Tress said:
Remember fellas: at least you're not the 49ers.
Click to expand...
I don't know, @Dave's Cowboys pretty much are . . . oh hey. The cowboys are actually sitting dead last in the NFC.


#130

Tress

Tress

Gruebeard said:
I don't know, @Dave's Cowboys pretty much are . . . oh hey. The cowboys are actually sitting dead last in the NFC.
Click to expand...
Yeah, but the Cowboys can blame their record on some key injuries and close games. The 49ers are just a mess.


#131

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

Yay. I get to be the one to post this!

Bengals gonna bungle.


#132

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

Gruebeard said:
Yay. I get to be the one to post this!

Bengals gonna bungle.
Click to expand...
Tin hat callers to a local sports show suggest the Bungles tanked to keep the Steelers out of the playoffs. :troll:


#133

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

DarkAudit said:
Tin hat callers to a local sports show suggest the Bungles tanked to keep the Steelers out of the playoffs. :troll:
Click to expand...
Would be funny then if the Broncos take the bye away from them next week and the Bungles lose the Wild Card weekend


#134

General Specific

General Specific

So I saw this morning that Tampa Bay has fired Lovie Smith. I am a Panthers fan, but even as a divisional foe, I find this move to be stupid. The Bucs were gearing up to have a run at the playoffs next year and now they will have to be starting over with a new coaching staff. Jameis Winston played pretty well all year and Doug Martin was in contention for the running title. Not to mention Mike Evans is becoming a dangerous receiver. They have all the pieces in place to have a really strong year next year, but pretty much all of that was thrown away. Now, a new head coach will be brought in with his own ideas about how to do things and so new offensive & defensive schemes will have to be learned, etc.

Sorry, Bucs fans, looks like you will have another disappointing season next year. Here's hoping it helps my Panthers get a 4th straight NFC South title.


#135

blotsfan

blotsfan

It actually sounds like the next coach will be their current offensive coordinator so the offense shouldn't have much change. Still seems like an odd move though.


#136

General Specific

General Specific

Smith was brought in during the year they pretty much imploded everything and were beginning to rebuild. This year was a step in the right direction, but then they fire him? The Bucs were improving. I would think they'd at least see how next season went before tossing him.

Even if they promote their offensive coordinator, he isn't going to be doing that job any more. He'll definitely have input, but it will be someone else making those decisions. The head coach has too many other responsibilities to be focusing on one part of the team too much.

My best guess right now is that Lovie Smith and the Bucs front office had some sort of disagreement about what to do and they let him go because of it. Should be welcome news for the myriad of teams that need a new head coach, though.


#137

jwhouk

jwhouk

Like Cleveland.


#138

Sparhawk

Sparhawk

That was such a freaking horrible game for Houston. How could O'Brian not give any practice reps to Weedon all week? Hoyer should have been out of the game in the first half and never been in a Texans uniform again. 5 turnovers directly from Hoyer. Ugh.


#139

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

Of all the Cincinnati Bungles in the world, tonight was the Cincinnati Bunglest.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.


#140

jwhouk

jwhouk

And here I thought the Bear-Packer rivalry was the most intense.

I was wrong.


#141

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

jwhouk said:
And here I thought the Bear-Packer rivalry was the most intense.

I was wrong.
Click to expand...
More than a few Ravens fans popped in to /r/Steelers to say the Bungles were a bunch of assholes and they were glad the Steelers won. Kinda surprised me a bit. :)


#142

General Specific

General Specific



#143

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

Gruebeard said:
Would be funny then if the Broncos take the bye away from them next week and the Bungles lose the Wild Card weekend
Click to expand...
Huh.


#144

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

The Rams are the L.A. Rams again...


#145

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

I wish the Raiders went back instead.


#146

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

That "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..." you may have heard was A's management learning the Raiders are likely staying.

Whoever wins the lottery should buy them out and move the team. And ditch the green and gold. Finley is dead, and everything associated with him is better off buried as well. (I'm looking at YOU, DH!)


#147

jwhouk

jwhouk

And now, there's another pitch out there... from San Antonio?

Former Vikings owner trying to lure Raiders to San Antonio


#148

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

jwhouk said:
And now, there's another pitch out there... from San Antonio?

Former Vikings owner trying to lure Raiders to San Antonio
Click to expand...
That sound you hear is A's management going "takeittakeittakeitTAKEIT."

They have a demolition crew on 24 hour standby to wipe out Mount Davis the instant the Rai-duhs ink a move. :p


#149

Tress

Tress

DarkAudit said:
That sound you hear is A's management going "takeittakeittakeitTAKEIT."

They have a demolition crew on 24 hour standby to wipe out Mount Davis the instant the Rai-duhs ink a move. :p
Click to expand...
The A's want a new stadium too. The Oakland Coliseum is beyond saving at this point.

Quick Oakland sports review:
Warriors: moving to San Francisco by 2019

Raiders: Moving soon, and it sounds like they'll go almost anywhere

A's: Trying to get a new stadium, and have said publicly they will leave the city or state if that's what it takes. This will happen in the next 3-5 years, I imagine.

Soon Oakland will be without any sports teams and finally take the crown of "Worst Fucking Place Ever"


#150

jwhouk

jwhouk

Without Mount Davis and the Oracle Arena, the A's would have a better leverage to build a new facility on the site.

Today's focus, however:

Pack at 'Zona - The question is how many Green and Gold outfits will be in the stands at UofPS.
KC at NE - One year after Deflategate. Would be funny if they lost on a fumble.

Tomorrow:

Seachickens at Carolina - Who shows up: Super Cam or DangeRussell?
Pitt at Denver - Who'll see more snaps: Ben or Peyton?


#151

Sparhawk

Sparhawk

jwhouk said:
Without Mount Davis and the Oracle Arena, the A's would have a better leverage to build a new facility on the site.

Today's focus, however:

Pack at 'Zona - The question is how many Green and Gold outfits will be in the stands at UofPS.
KC at NE - One year after Deflategate. Would be funny if they lost on a fumble.

Tomorrow:

Seachickens at Carolina - Who shows up: Super Cam or DangeRussell?
Pitt at Denver - Who'll see more snaps: Ben or Peyton?
Click to expand...
Cards
Chiefs
Carolina
Peyton, oh, and Broncos win[DOUBLEPOST=1452966613,1452966436][/DOUBLEPOST]San Antonio is the 7th largest city in the US, has been named one of the top travel destinations in the US, and is in the middle of football crazy Texas. Raiders should move.


#152

jwhouk

jwhouk

Would the Raiders be served being the third team in Texas, though?


#153

Tress

Tress

jwhouk said:
Would the Raiders be served being the third team in Texas, though?
Click to expand...
Texas is huge, and they love football. I don't imagine they would have a hard time filling a stadium. But then again, I don't live there.

Oakland fans talk a big game about loyalty and fandom, but not many actually go to the games. And too many people wear Raiders gear for reasons other than fan loyalty. It's not nearly the quality fan base they claim to be.


#154

Sparhawk

Sparhawk

jwhouk said:
Would the Raiders be served being the third team in Texas, though?
Click to expand...
4 hour drive to Houston, 5 hour drive to Dallas with good traffic. San Antonio hosts a college bowl game that is always packed, and you ain't seen High School Football until you've been to Texas. Even our po-dunk town has a football stadium that will seat 12k, one-third of the population of town.

San Antonio would support it, would make it huge, and has a huge area to draw fans from including New Braunfels, San Marcos and Austin within a 1 hour drive radius. It's a huge market that LOVES football.


#155



BErt

...regardless of the outcome of this game, @jwhouk I hate your stupid face.[DOUBLEPOST=1453005673,1453005155][/DOUBLEPOST]This is Larry Fitzgerald's world and we all just live in it.


#156

blotsfan

blotsfan

Remember last year when Fitzgerald was washed up and Arizona was gonna cut him?


#157



BErt

This was easily one of the top 5 NFL games played today.


#158

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

I just hope they build the stadium north of San Antonio to make it easier for the rich folks from Dell and Samsung to drive down from Austin. Because San Antonio is a pretty poor city.


#159

Zappit

Zappit

Wow. Packers tie it on a Hail Mary. Then they deflect a pass into the end zone to a Cards receiver.

Pretty sure that's one of best games of the playoffs this year.

In other news, Alex Smith is still standing on the line of scrimmage waiting for Andy Reid to give him a play. :facepalm:

Look, I'm glad my Patriots won, and that they looked like the Great team they were when everybody was healthy, but Reid's clock management abilities were a big help at the end today.


#160

General Specific

General Specific

Dammit Panthers, we talked about this. My heart can't take this kind of punishment.

Now we gotta get ready for the Cardinals to come to town next week.


#161

Gared

Gared

Congrats Panthers, the better team definitely won. Now kick Arizona's ass for us, aight?


#162

jwhouk

jwhouk

Sorry, my money's on the oldest professional football team in America making it to only their second Super Bowl in franchise history.

Cam, meet Larry.


#163

General Specific

General Specific

jwhouk said:
Sorry, my money's on the oldest professional football team in America making it to only their second Super Bowl in franchise history.

Cam, meet Larry.
Click to expand...
They meet once already, last year. ;)

It should be a good game, hopefully the Panthers can manage to play the whole game instead of just the first half.


#164

jwhouk

jwhouk

Of course, whoever it is will be the victims of the New England Patriots in SB50, so...


#165

Tress

Tress

jwhouk said:
Of course, whoever it is will be the victims of the New England Patriots in SB50, so...
Click to expand...
Yeah, no. Not this year. The winner of the Super Bowl is the winner of next week's NFC Championship game.


#166

jwhouk

jwhouk

Tress said:
Yeah, no. Not this year. The winner of the Super Bowl is the winner of next week's NFC Championship game.
Click to expand...
Only if by some strange circumstances the Pats lose to the Broncos. And that ain't happening.


#167

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Brady, Manning, Roethlisberger have represented the AFC in 13 of the last 14 Superbowls.



#168



BErt

Joe Flac-c-combo breaker o


#169

General Specific

General Specific

jwhouk said:
Only if by some strange circumstances the Pats lose to the Broncos. And that ain't happening.
Click to expand...
I think the Pats are going to take out the Broncos, but then they lost to them during the season, so who knows.

As far as the Superbowl goes, both the Panthers and Cardinals have had great seasons and neither should be counted out.


#170

Dei

Dei

DIA has started smack talking


#171

Zappit

Zappit

Is pass interference still a thing? It sure looks like the officials in Denver forgot in those last few minutes.

Still, good for Peyton. He's got one last chance.


#172

HCGLNS

HCGLNS

Nice grinding game.


#173

General Specific

General Specific

That was a great game, good job to Denver on slogging it out.

Here's hoping my Panthers can play well, too. :)


#174

Sparhawk

Sparhawk

General Specific said:
Here's hoping my Panthers can play well, too. :)
Click to expand...
I do believe that he did play well.

Peyton vs Cam, The Thinker vs Superman. Gonna be an interesting game.


#175

General Specific

General Specific

Yeah, that game did not go the way I thought it would. I had figured it be a bit more back and forth, not a blow out. Our defense played lights out and SuperCam was on tonight.

I hope we can play as well in the Superbowl! :D


#176

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

Peyton, my dad says if you don't cover the spread he's gonna shoot my puppy.


#177



BErt

Man, Calvin Johnson REALLY hates Randy Edsall...

image.jpeg


#178

jwhouk

jwhouk

Super Bowl 5-oh.

My prediction: Broncos 31, Panthers 24. Peyton manages a late fourth-down conversion that has Ron Rivera flummoxed - and watches helplessly as Ronnie Hillman plunges into the end zone uncontested for the game-winning score.

Newton heaves a last-second desperation pass - and it's intercepted by Darian Stewart.


#179

Sparhawk

Sparhawk

Panthers 42 - Broncos 21, game over by halftime.

I'd love for Peyton to win, go out on top, but Carolina is playing too well as a team, and the Broncos don't seem to have that level of team chemistry.


#180

Zappit

Zappit

It's the Von Miller Show, folks. He's been playing like Popeye on spinach.


#181

General Specific

General Specific

Well, Super Bowl is in the books.

You all know I am a huge Panthers fan and so I am pissed right now. BUT, I do want to congratulate the Denver Broncos on a game well played. They stuck with what got them to the super bowl and it served them well. Conversely, my Panthers just couldn't really get anything going. Protection for Cam was terrible all game long and we beat ourselves with all of the turnovers and penalties. It basically comes down to everything I had been saying all season long, "We have to play better and put teams away or it will come back to bite us." It did tonight in a big way.

And now, I'd like to be a big whiny baby for a moment, but I will put it behind spoiler tags, so you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

That was a terribly called game. The refs screwed us over on SO many plays.

To start, the catch that one of the umps from way down the field ran up to call incomplete should have been a catch. The review should have been unnecessary because a ref by the line of scrimmage that did not have a good view of the play was the one to run up and call it incomplete. The others then went along with him. The review should then have overturned as his hand was clearly under the ball. The commentators were even saying it was a terrible call. That ultimately killed our opening drive and handed momentum to Denver.

Second, the spectacular non-call on the offsides by Denver on Gano's missed field goal. I saw Denver's guy (whose name eludes me right now) jump offsides from my couch in real time. How the refs missed so blatant of a call I will never know. Now, it was 4th & 11, so at best Gano gets another chance from a bit closer, but maybe he hits that one and Carolina gets a bit of confidence.

Third, late on a Carolina drive, Ted Ginn has two arms around his waist when the ball gets to him. Now, I'm pretty sure that's pass interference, but again a no-call. It was in the red-zone and that was a 3rd and long, but the penalty would have been enough to give a 1st down. Drive stalled, momentum stays with Denver.

All game long, the penalties added up. Lots of little stuff seemed to be called on Carolina while only big stuff was called on Denver. Broncos were allowed to "just play" as we so often hear happens in the super bowl while everything seemed to draw a flag for Carolina. Tre Boston knocks the ball away from a celebrating Sanders. How many times does that happen in the regular season and nothing happens? Tonight, 15-yard penalty. Yeah, he shouldn't have done it and it was dumb, I know, but the point being is that the teams were handled differently. Denver was allowed to play while Carolina was under a microscope.

The NFL did have motivation for the Broncos to win as well. It completes the big story of Peyton Manning retiring at the top of the game. Going out a winner, etc. Great story and great for the NFL, right? Besides, Carolina is young, they'll probably be back in the next few years right? They can win then. Denver also happens to be the larger market, not to mention all the sentiment that was running against Cam & the Panthers this year.

I will add that Denver just happens to be 6-0 under Head Ref Clete Blakeman now, who was the one working tonight. Does that mean anything? Probably not, but it smells just a little bit.

I'm just waiting for Peyton to announce his retirement so the NFL can have their perfect little story all tied up neatly: "Manning Goes Out a Champion."



Now, does this mean all this is true and the NFL is actively sabotaging teams with certain calls or influencing games by selective enforcement? Probably not. Like I said, I'm pissed and very emotional right now, so I'm lashing out and looking for something to blame other than the poor play of the Panthers. They're my team and have been since their first season in 1995. I watched them lose to New England in Super Bowl 38 (2003 season) and so to sit here and watch them lose again sucks.


#182

Dei

Dei

While I am certainly biased about teams, after being a ref for a sport myself I will really never give refs shit. Refs will always back each other up on calls, because refs bickering about it does nothing for anyone, except take away confidence.

BUT, the real reason I popped over to this thread, is to post a sexy pic I found on Facebook. Of a chick, in case you dudes are intimidated by hot guys. I'll just keep those to myself. Sorry Tin.


#183

Gared

Gared

On the one hand, I'm glad the Broncos won because now (if he's at all intelligent) Manning can go out on a win. On the other hand, I really wish the Panthers would have won, because at least that way we could have said we lost in the playoffs to the SB50 champs. But really, I'm just sad that I'll never get to see Lynch go Beast Mode again - though he did pick an entirely Marshawn way of announcing his retirement.


#184

jwhouk

jwhouk

Which, in case you didn't see it: he tossed his football cleats up on a telephone wire, ala High school seniors throwing their gym shoes up on the wires to show everyone they're "done."


#185

Sparhawk

Sparhawk

jwhouk said:
Which, in case you didn't see it: he tossed his football cleats up on a telephone wire, ala High school seniors throwing their gym shoes up on the wires to show everyone they're "done."
Click to expand...
Must be something from your area, around here that's a signal that there is a drug spot nearby.


#186

Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

My brother thinks the whole thing was a sham to let Peyton's career on a high-note.


#187

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

Yoshimickster said:
My brother thinks the whole thing was a sham to let Peyton's career on a high-note.
Click to expand...
Tell him, if the NFL was gonna fix a Superbowl they'd have done it last year to fuck over Kraft and his cronies Brady and Bellichick.


#188

Zappit

Zappit

Boy, there's a lot of stuff about Peyton this week. The Washington Post reported that the pharmacy tech that was the center of the Al Jazeera HGH story recanted his story juuuust after some hired goons showed up at his parents house. They even called 911 during the incident.

Now there's the reports that Peyton sexually assaulted a trainer back in college and the Manning family covered it up and wrecked the trainer's career.

I always had a weird feeling about Peyton Manning. And it wasn't just the usual New Englander Peyton hate. It was more of a "this guy's got a body buried somewhere" kind of feeling. And people gave me shit for it because he had such a good reputation. I actually feel a bit vindicated by all this news, because it really is starting to look like Manning actually is a shit-sack.


#189

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

:rofl:


#190



BErt

DarkAudit said:
:rofl:
Click to expand...
It really is a tradition unlike any other...image.jpeg


#191

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

@PatrThom it's the futility of the Browns and their revolving door of starting QB's.


#192

PatrThom

PatrThom

DarkAudit said:
@PatrThom it's the futility of the Browns and their revolving door of starting QB's.
Click to expand...
Hey I live in the Lions' den. I'm used to this sort of thing. It looked perfectly normal.

--Patrick


#193



BErt

PatrThom said:
Hey I live in the Lions' den. I'm used to this sort of thing. It looked perfectly normal.

--Patrick
Click to expand...
You hold your tongue, we've had a perfectly capable, stable, mediocre QB for a while now, dang it.


#194

Tress

Tress

BErt said:
You hold your tongue, we've had a perfectly capable, stable, mediocre QB for a while now, dang it.
Click to expand...
Yes, but before that you had a revolving door of dipshits. I'm not a Lions fan, but I definitely remember that.


#195



BErt

Tress said:
Yes, but before that you had a revolving door of dipshits. I'm not a Lions fan, but I definitely remember that.
Click to expand...
Hey now, Charlie Batch has two Super Bowl rings...

:(


#196

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

What in the fuck of shit?

Greg Hardy's gonna wind up in a pine box before 35 at this rate.


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