Girl Trouble

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U

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Dear Dave,

I'm in love with a girl who has expressed she has no romantic interest in me. No particular reason why I'm in the "friend zone" has been given, and last time I tried to bring it up she quickly changed the subject. I'm worried pushing the matter further could ruin the friendship, but every time I'm with her I feel reminded of my feelings for her and start feeling worried NOT pushing through it could ruin the friendship. What actions do you suggest I take?
 

Dave

Staff member
Dear Guest,

This really sucks for you because there's really nothing you can do but back away. Pushing her will only make things much, much worse and drive here away from the friend zone as well. You basically have two choices at this point and neither of them are good.

1) Break off all contact with her. This sucks because you'd be losing a friend but you wouldn't have to see her every day and would miss the pain of watching her date other people, talk about other people, etc. This is the extreme version.

2) Go on like nothing has happened and stay her friend. This one is by far the hardest because it requires you to basically suck it up, be the best person you can be and put your feelings aside to be her friend.

But again it's already out there so she knows how you feel. I've been where you are at and it sucks. A girl I basically grew up with was the object of my desire for a long time and that love went unrequited. But I stayed her friend even as she got married and moved on. Eventually I did too and now I have a beautiful wife and two kids and am glad it didn't work out.

Don't push it. That will only be bad for everyone involved. If it's meant to happen it will.
 
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