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News article:
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-32895048

Department of Justice statement:
http://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/nine-...ecutives-indicted-racketeering-conspiracy-and

Long story short, a bunch of FIFA officials have just been arrested by Swiss police, and FIFA headquarters in Zurich have been raided, in an investigation into corruption related to the 2018 and 2022 World Cup bids. They're facing extradition to the US, and a federal criminal indictment.

FIFA held a press conference in which they basically said "We're just as surprised as you guys are! Those naughty boys! Also, the World Cups are still going to be held in Russia and Qatar."

Hahahaha Russia and Qatar. I already knew (well, only about Qatar) but really, if this were fiction we would say it's too obvious and over the top, or satire or something.

"You know, I'm starting to think that FIFA might not be legit."

Shocked indeed. Who'd have even thought such things...

Also:


That whole organization, as well as the european UEFA, should be castamered. Maybe, at least or a little while, something better will rise out of a newly build organization with all new personell.
Same goes for Olympic Committees, of course.

You know, if we can work out a deal where we arrest their corrupt sports officials, and they arrest ours, I think we can make this work.

SpecialKO said:

You know, if we can work out a deal where we arrest their corrupt sports officials, and they arrest ours, I think we can make this work.

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Hey...you may be onto something.

--Patrick

Problem is, I don't think the Swiss know where Tuscaloosa is located.

jwhouk said:

Problem is, I don't think the Swiss know where Tuscaloosa is located.

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jwhouk said:

Problem is, I don't think the Swiss know where Tuscaloosa is located.

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Does anyone in Tuscaloosa, know where the Swiss are located?

Probably not. Of course, I doubt the Swiss know what the "SEC" is.

Other than the bankers, who might know about that quaint quasi-legal body that "regulates" stock trading.

jwhouk said:

Other than the bankers, who might know about that quaint quasi-legal body that "regulates" stock trading.

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Which is like 1 out of every 20 people there.

Is there anyone who has not directly benefited from FIFA's awfulness that is upset?

Apparently Nike could be mixed up in this problem as well. That's not going to be good for a lot of my friends and relatives down in Beaverton - but hey, maybe universities and pro sports franchises will be able to design their own uniforms again. Yeah... not really an appropriate consolation.

blotsfan said:

Is there anyone who has not directly benefited from FIFA's awfulness that is upset?

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About the arrests? Well, apparently the concierge at the hotel they were staying at was inundated with calls from the press and the public. I'd imagine he's rather miffed.

Gared said:

Apparently Nike could be mixed up in this problem as well. That's not going to be good for a lot of my friends and relatives down in Beaverton - but hey, maybe universities and pro sports franchises will be able to design their own uniforms again. Yeah... not really an appropriate consolation.

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Or any of FIFA's partners really. What happens if they find an incriminating email or something during discovery involving EA?

I am obviously NOT a soccer fan. I have seen headlines with FIFA and corruption, and thought it was just another U.S. government agency. I just said to myself, "Duh, of course they're corrupt."

FIFA needs Blatter control.

I guess the pun is with 'better', but I read that as bladder. Extra funny

I looked everywhere for that joke on Reddit and never saw it.

Dave said:

I looked everywhere for that joke on Reddit and never saw it.

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Keith Olbermann's been using it on twitter all morning.

DAMN! Fuck Olberman. He probably stole it from me.

GasBandit said:

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--Patrick

SpecialKO said:

Or any of FIFA's partners really. What happens if they find an incriminating email or something during discovery involving EA?

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The gaming world will rejoice?

Well, that portion that doesn't play FIFA, at least.

I knew I'd seen these somewhere... from another forum:

The election for the FIFA presidency is later today. Blatter was originally slated to win (and still is, I think) but a significant number of national associations have come out and declared their support for his opponent, Prince Ali of Jordan. These include most (or pretty much all) of Europe, as well as the USA and Canada. Still don't think they have enough votes to topple Blatter, because he still controls the votes from Asia and Africa, but we'll see.

Michel Platini, the head of UEFA, is coming out with all guns blazing at Blatter, because he's never made it a secret that he's wanted the FIFA presidency for years. Platini's probably just as corrupt though...

bhamv3 said:

but a significant number of national associations have come out and declared their support for his opponent, Prince Ali of Jordan.

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MAKE WAY FOR PRINCE ALI
SAY HEY IT'S PRINCE ALI

Hey! Clear the way, in the old FIFA
Hey you! Let him through! He's the bright new star!
Oh come, be the first on your block to meet his eye.
Make way, here he comes, ring the bells, bang the drums,
Are you gonna love this guy!

Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali of Jordan!
Cast your vote, that's all she wrote, there'll be no more.
Now try your best to stay clean,
Cause America's causing a scene
And corruption's on it's way right out the front doooooooor.

Prince Ali, mighty is he, Ali of Jordan!
The most straight, others don't rate, naturally.
Completely incorrigible.
Owns his own dirigible!
The indefatigable, Prince ALI!

He's got seventy five golden camels
Purple peacocks, he's got fifty three
If he wants it, he's got it already.
I mean really, how do you even try to bribe royalty?!

Prince Ali, handsome is he, Ali of Jordan!
Association Football needs one just like he.
You'll never get any reform
From that old Blatter gorm
So come on over and VOTE for Prince Ali!

He's got ninety five white persian monkeys
And to see them he charges no fee
He's got slaves, he's got servants and flunkies
But at least none of them work currently in the international football industry!

Prince Ali!

Prince Ali, virtuous he, Ali of Jordan
Heard your association needed a brand new big cheese
And that, good people, is why
He got dolled up and dropped by
With sixty elephants, llamas galore, with his bears and lions, a brass band and more, with his forty fakirs, his cooks and bakers, his birds that warble on key!
So VOOOOOTE! for PRINCE! A-LIIIIIIIII!

Well fooey, after all that, Prince Ali withdrew, and Blatter gets a 5th term. Not that I knew who either of these people were before yesterday.

Long run, very bad for FIFA. The people we have are going to turn on Blatter quickly.

Suddenly, I see the US National Team and the Swiss - if they manage to get through the Euro tournament to qualify - being placed in 2018 in the same group with Germany and Italy. In the first game, half the US team gets yellow carded in the first 10 minutes. When Tim Howard yells at the ref, he gets a red card, and the opposing team scores 20 goals because they're not allowed to swap out the goaltender.

What fantastic choices... a corrupt French old guy who doesn't know what the fuck he's saying (he didn't even prep a speech or bothered in any way to get re-elected) and some Arab Prince.

Jeeeeez..... FIFA are you even trying?

Can't wait for John Oliver this week. It will be glorious.

Sepp Blatter has resigned as FIFA president.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/32982449

You couldn't have done that last week?

mroosc1979 said:

Sepp Blatter has resigned as FIFA president.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/32982449

You couldn't have done that last week?

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It makes me wonder what may have changed or is about to come to light.

Sent from my VS985 4G using Tapatalk

GasBandit said:

It makes me wonder what may have changed or is about to come to light.

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...that the staff is corrupt?

--Patrick

GasBandit said:

It makes me wonder what may have changed or is about to come to light.

Sent from my VS985 4G using Tapatalk

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Written letter of a $10 million dollar payment from South Africa to Blatter's #2.

Piotyr said:

Written letter of a $10 million dollar payment from South Africa to Blatter's #2.

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Ever since the news broke earlier this morning, I was wondering what Sepp's version of Nixon's "smoking gun" tape would be. this may be it.

Sepp Blatter Resigns From FIFA With Generous Severance Bribe -The Onion

For Ravenpoe, from Last Week Tonight:

It might also have been because Sepp realized UEFA were serious about breaking away and forming a new tournament to compete with the World Cup. Imagine a World Cup without Italy, Spain, Germany, France, the Netherlands, Portugal, England...

Okay, England wouldn't be a great loss. But the rest.

Not to mention the US. This next world cup is gonna be the one where we go far and soccer starts to become popular in America.

blotsfan said:

Not to mention the US. This next world cup is gonna be the one where we go far and soccer starts to become popular in America.

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That's like saying "Oh, Castro's regime will be falling any day now..."

bhamv3 said:

It might also have been because Sepp realized UEFA were serious about breaking away and forming a new tournament to compete with the World Cup. Imagine a World Cup without Italy, Spain, Germany, France, the Netherlands, Portugal, England...

Okay, England wouldn't be a great loss. But the rest.

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You should check who's officially number 2 in the world ;-p

Bubble181 said:

You should check who's officially number 2 in the world ;-p

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Really? England are number 2 in the world? Wow.

Reports now that Russia and Qatar could be stripped of the 2018 and 2022 World Cups if bribery allegations are confirmed.

DarkAudit said:

Reports now that Russia and Qatar could be stripped of the 2018 and 2022 World Cups if bribery allegations are confirmed.

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...and given to China and Cameroon in compensation.

bhamv3 said:

Really? England are number 2 in the world? Wow.

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Belgium, you silly foreign twit

Fifa rankings as of this moment:
1 Germany
2 Belgium
3 Argentina
4 Colombia
5 Brazil
6 Netherlands
7 Portugal
8 Uruguay
9 France
10 Spain
11 Switzerland
12 Romania
13 Italy
14 Costa Rica
15 England
16 Czech Republic
17 Slovakia
18 Croatia
19 Chile
20 Austria


14 out of the top 20 are from UEFA...It would pretty much neuter the World Cup if they were actually absent.

Canada would finally get in!

Yeah, that's not a World Cup worth watching. Or even playing

Cheesy1 said:

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Interestingly enough, it is stunts like this that increase his credibility.

--Patrick

Bubble181 said:

Belgium, you silly foreign twit

Fifa rankings as of this moment:
1 Germany
2 Belgium
3 Argentina
4 Colombia
5 Brazil
6 Netherlands
7 Portugal
8 Uruguay
9 France
10 Spain
11 Switzerland
12 Romania
13 Italy
14 Costa Rica
15 England
16 Czech Republic
17 Slovakia
18 Croatia
19 Chile
20 Austria


14 out of the top 20 are from UEFA...It would pretty much neuter the World Cup if they were actually absent.

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But... but... how did Belgium get so good? You don't have any good players!

I mean, okay, apart from Kompany. And Hazard. And Fellaini. And I guess Courtois is decent. Witsel too. Benteke's not too shabby up front, I suppose. And neither's Lukaku.

Hmm... y'know what, you guys deserve it.

bhamv3 said:

But... but... how did Belgium get so good? You don't have any good players!

I mean, okay, apart from Kompany. And Hazard. And Fellaini. And I guess Courtois is decent. Witsel too. Benteke's not too shabby up front, I suppose. And neither's Lukaku.

Hmm... y'know what, you guys deserve it.

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We're not bad, and the calendar's been very kind in some ways

FIFA spent $29 million on a movie about itself. It earned $607.

And $140 of that was one theater in North Hollywood. I suspect the patrons thought they were going to see some sort of art film.

NPR said $900 on the way in this morning. It was only in 10 theatres, I think. Still, quite the boondoggle.

It is a nice way to launder money though. Their $1oo,000 movie suddenly ran into massive costs! Ooops! Better spend another $10 million on it.

"Special thanks to: FDNY Explosives Unit"

--Patrick

Uh oh... is it too late to puke up that Bud Lime?

http://www.latimes.com/sports/sport...reconsidering-resignation-20150614-story.html

It's never too late to puke up Bud Lime.