Dearest Dave

[makare]

About a month and a half ago, I think, one of my friends irl friends, Jayson started sending me really obscene dirty text messages on Facebook. I didn't really encourage him to do this but I didn't freak out either about it because I didn't want to make things weird. However, it continued and got more and more explicit. One of the things he did was create random hypothetical situations where we would like hook up and stuff. I told him that would never happen under any circumstances. I told him that it is because he is married leaving out the fact that I am not even remotely attracted to him. He is my friend after all.

The problem is the last time we chatted I was extremely firm about the fact that I would never do anything with him because he is married and I didn't think his wife would appreciate him talking this way to some chick on the internet.

He has not spoken to me since.

So my questions are 1- wtf is his issue and 2. how can I let him know that I want to chat with him and be friends but that is all it will ever be?

 

[Dave]

Dear makare,

He wants you. It's very difficult for guys and gals to be just friends. The problem is, he wants you and since you rebuffed him he doesn't seem willing to continue the friendship. There's NOTHING you can do about this. I hate to tell you but you will no longer be able to just chat with him.

My advice - back off and if he comes back, cool. If not, sorry.

 

[makare]

Ok. That makes me sad. We worked together for 4 years and he did flirt with me but I didn't think much of it. Actually I have only realized that's what he was doing now in retrospect. I had him firmly off in married/undesirable land so I never even considered it.

I guess I'll just let him do what he thinks he needs to do.

Thanks.