Considering Moving Back to Toronto

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

When I moved back to Fredericton, I was planning on making the Maritimes my home base of operations again. Trying to make for a permanent location instead of all the moving I've done in the past few years. The ideal was that I'd get a teaching job and be able to start...I don't know...some semblance of a consistent life that wasn't customer service.

But honestly, since moving back, I've realized not only how little I enjoy living here but that there's really nothing here for me. Unemployment in the province is over 10% and I've found a hard time just getting a job in general. It doesn't help that I honestly don't know how to look for a job anymore. Time was, I could go to different places, speak with the manager, and drop off a resume. But that's harder to to do these days with more stores - especially large companies - doing all their hiring online. On a smaller note, I don't enjoy biking in this city. I live at the top of the city's hill and a lot of what I enjoy (yoga, comics, coffee shop) are all downtown. Which is fine going down, but's a goddamn bitch to get back up. And the transit system in this town is atrocious, not even running on Sundays.

The more I've thought about it over the last year, the more I realize I miss Toronto. It has more things for me to do there, more ways for me to get around town even late at night, a much more enjoyable biking experience, and just...I don't know. More of everything? I don't have much family there, but I still have a few friends there. Probably just about as many as I have here, honestly, which isn't many since my social life is pretty terrible.

There are things that are stopping me, though:
1) No real reason to go. Aside from overall enjoying the city landscape more, there's nothing really there for me.
2) No job lined up. And at best, it would be some shit customer service job since I don't have any valuable skills worth anything else.
3) Cost just getting there, since I'll have little money after I'm done my current seasonal job after Christmas.
4) Cost of living there is higher and I don't know anyone who I could move in with. I wouldn't want to do strangers again because that led to a lot dramatic bullshit and having to move several times.

So yeah, I don't know. Feel free to throw some advice. This was more of a rant for rant's sake, I think. I just thought, if I'm going to feel like a loser with nothing in his life, I could at least feel like a loser with nothing in his life in a city that I enjoy living in.
 
Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

ThatNickGuy said:
There are things that are stopping me, though:
1) No real reason to go. Aside from overall enjoying the city landscape more, there's nothing really there for me.
2) No job lined up. And at best, it would be some shit customer service job since I don't have any valuable skills worth anything else.
3) Cost just getting there, since I'll have little money after I'm done my current seasonal job after Christmas.
4) Cost of living there is higher and I don't know anyone who I could move in with. I wouldn't want to do strangers again because that led to a lot dramatic bullshit and having to move several times.
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The first two are the same as staying, so they're sort-of null points:
1) No real reason to stay. There's nothing here for you.
2) No job lined up, other than some shit customer service job you're doing...
As for the other two:
3) No economic cost to staying, I suppose.
4) Cost of living is lower where you are, yes, but it sounds like the emotional cost of living where you are is pretty high right now. I could also say 3) then has an emotional cost to staying.

ThatNickGuy said:
So yeah, I don't know. Feel free to throw some advice. This was more of a rant for rant's sake, I think. I just thought, if I'm going to feel like a loser with nothing in his life, I could at least feel like a loser with nothing in his life in a city that I enjoy living in.
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I don't know what to tell you; I've never left my hometown, but I'm filled with wanderlust and plan to... Have you considered moving somewhere completely different? Come chill (somewhat literally) with me in Edmonton!

I know I can't tell you how to feel, but I don't think you're a loser, for what it's worth. I do agree that living in a city you like over one that you don't is probably a good idea.
 
ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

I've honestly considered going further out west, like Alberta. One of my oldest and dearest friends lives in Calgary. Though admittedly, she's also the girl that "got away," even though I'm happy for her in having a husband and son, now.

But I guess another reason why I'm considering Toronto is its familiarity. Having biked through half its streets, I know that place like the back of my hand.

*looks at the back of his hand and notices something new* Huh...
 
strawman

strawman

And you can be more significantly affected by American politics while still having just as much control over them as you do now!
 
ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Well, I'd be closer to that blowhard Rob Ford, which I'm not sure is a good thing. :p

A friend of mine just suggested I move with them to Ottawa. I know the city is one of the highest rated cities for urban cycling, which is really tempting. It's also apparently a university town more than a commercial place like Toronto, which is kinda tempting.

But again, it's familiarity, I guess. I know what's in Toronto and I know what I like there.
 
Emrys

Emrys

Don't let the unknown hold you back from an opportunity that could be fantastic for you. When I was 24, I moved from Alabama to Quebec. Talk about unfamiliar! Fortunately, I had a friend there who was able to provide me with a place to stay while I got myself established. And while I didn't stay in Quebec (obviously), I was able to get my finances and experience to the point where I could move to Ontario, then on to Saskatchewan.

In other words, if the pros of Ontario are greatly outweighing the con of not knowing the city as well as Toronto, don't let that stop you. Take the chance. Ottawa might not be where you finish up but it could be a fantastic first step on your journey.
 
Emrys

Emrys

Come to Saskatchewan! It's cold as hell, there are ravening doomweasels, and I have a barn you can live in.
 
Dirona

Dirona

I echo a lot of what Chad says, you have no particularly compelling reasons to stay. And from what I recall of living in Nova Scotia, provincial taxes in the maritimes are very high, so while housing may be cheaper, everything else certainly isn't.
As someone who's had mailing addresses in 5 provinces (BC, AB, SK, ON, NS... and possibly NB of NFLD mid-next year depending on jobs), if you're considering an interprovincial move, particularly to a place when you don't know many folks by default, look at your 'dream' location, look at places you would never consdier (they may actually have some redeeming features), yes, it's expensive as all hell to move, but that doesn't change that much once your over a certain distance.

If what you are craving is the familiar... the best I can offer there is that most places I've lived have had considerable similarities to each other. I've always been able to find something familiar, even in a completely new setting.
 
Squidleybits

Squidleybits

Like I said on your other post, Ottawa all the way! It's a great city and there would be a lot of advantages for you over Toronto. I love Fredericton but if you're not feeling it you should consider a move for sure. Someone mentioned an emotional cost of staying and I agree.

I see you mentioned here that you would even consider out west. That could also be a great idea. An opportunity to try something completely different. And Ottawa is just as cold I think (correct me if I'm wrong) as out west?
 
Dirona

Dirona

Squidleybits said:
I see you mentioned here that you would even consider out west. That could also be a great idea. An opportunity to try something completely different. And Ottawa is just as cold I think (correct me if I'm wrong) as out west?
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Depends on how far West. The BC coast/Vancouver Island and Okanagan are balmy compared to most of the country.
 
ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

So it turns out I have more friends in Ottawa than I thought. A few of them commented on my status (a link to this post) on Facebook. Plus, moving to Ottawa means I'd have a roomie who I like and get along well with (and he loves Diomedes, which is an extra bonus). Having a good roomie means not-as-expensive living arrangements than living alone, and it'd help me feel less lonely. And you know what? Toronto's a Via rail trip away if I wanted to go for a weekend.

So yeah, I'm suddenly leaning more towards Ottawa.

...but then again, there is that barn.
 
jwhouk

jwhouk

Dude. TO is like living in New York City. You should only live there once, but leave before it makes you hard.
 
Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

ThatNickGuy said:
So it turns out I have more friends in Ottawa than I thought. A few of them commented on my status (a link to this post) on Facebook. Plus, moving to Ottawa means I'd have a roomie who I like and get along well with (and he loves Diomedes, which is an extra bonus). Having a good roomie means not-as-expensive living arrangements than living alone, and it'd help me feel less lonely. And you know what? Toronto's a Via rail trip away if I wanted to go for a weekend.

So yeah, I'm suddenly leaning more towards Ottawa.

...but then again, there is that barn.
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Well I can definitely say that everyone I know who's lived in Ottawa has loved it, and that does sound like a pretty good social/living situation!
 
Covar

Covar

I rally should visit Canada at some point, 95% of my understanding of this thread is based on Hockey teams. The other 5% is from my parents having a barn.
 
ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

So, Ottawa is a bust. I cut ties with the friend I'd considered moving with. It's something I'd been considering for awhile because he was the type of person who seemed to argue or criticize EVERYTHING I said. Even stupid, mundane shit like movies or comics. Worse, he was actually wrong about 80% of the time, so half the argument was trying to prove to him that he was wrong about something. Of course, it didn't help that it was near impossible to get a word in any kind of conversation with him. So after one argument/critique too many, I cut ties on our friendship.

So now I'm back to square one.
 
Bubble181

Bubble181

ThatNickGuy said:
So, Ottawa is a bust. I cut ties with the friend I'd considered moving with. It's something I'd been considering for awhile because he was the type of person who seemed to argue or criticize EVERYTHING I said. Even stupid, mundane shit like movies or comics. Worse, he was actually wrong about 80% of the time, so half the argument was trying to prove to him that he was wrong about something. Of course, it didn't help that it was near impossible to get a word in any kind of conversation with him. So after one argument/critique too many, I cut ties on our friendship.

So now I'm back to square one.
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IIRC, there was an outstanding offer for one free barn around here somewhere.
 
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