I know how you feel, from a different angle though. I didn't lose my job, I lost Pauline - and everything else felt meaningless and empty after that. Hobbies would fail to interest me, motivation was non-existent, and I more or less withdrew from the world.Hey guys, been a while. I'm sorry for popping in again all willy-nilly, but I've always felt this place was a slice of home I keep getting back to. I woke up today feeling like I needed to write something and chose you guys. Hope it's not too presumptuous to ask for your thoughts.
As some of you may know from my last pop-in in November, I (suddenly and unexpectedly) lost my job last year and it's been quite weird since. I still haven't found a new full-time job, although I try to do some freelance translations and revisions here and there.
My days consist of waking up when the concubine does in the morning, see her off to work and then sleep again until midday. When I'm awake, I spend my time on reddit and twitter or browsing my Steam library endlessly for something to play, almost never launching a single game. Same thing with Netflix. Since I don't leave the apartment, I don't even shower most days.
So I woke up today and realized... I'm depressed as fuck, aren't I?
I can't bring myself to play games, watch shows or read books. And when I force myself to do SOMETHING it usually doesn't hold my attention for long.
I don't think I'm suicidal, but I do keep having ugly thoughts like how my girl is the only thing worth waking up for. I'm incredibly lucky to have her but.... I can't base my whole happiness on my relationship. That's a recipe for disaster right there, isn't it?
So, I know lots of you guys have wrestled with similar issues, and this isn't a cry for help or anything of the sort but more of a... shared therapeutic realization? What the hell are you supposed to do when you realize life isn't fun anymore and you can't afford any sort of professional help?
Holy shit you changed your avatar, don't do that!I know how you feel, from a different angle though. I didn't lose my job, I lost Pauline - and everything else felt meaningless and empty after that. Hobbies would fail to interest me, motivation was non-existent, and I more or less withdrew from the world.
I wish I could tell you there was some sure fire way to get back out of that hole. I'm not sure I'm completely out of it yet myself. But I'm markedly improved now, 3 years later. What did it for me is I had to keep myself busy and challenged. Not just find busywork to do, and not just indulge in entertainment, I had to find things that were new and difficult that I had to actually learn how to do. I mean, it'd be too easy to channel my Dad and say "when you're out of work, finding work IS your job" but I know from having been there that this is pretty stale and unhelpful. Yes, you need to look for work, but you don't just put a sick horse on the racetrack and expect it to win. You've gotta work on getting your engine revving again. And when familiar activities fail, I say try getting out of your comfort zone and doing something new and unfamiliar. Maybe even scary.
Just my two cents, anyway.
I'm not the same man I was under the old avatar.Holy shit you changed your avatar, don't do that!
HAHAHAAoh man, that's right, it's been a while, hasn't it? SO much has happened.Holy shit you changed your avatar, don't do that!
IS GASBANDIT A MOD!?!HAHAHAAoh man, that's right, it's been a while, hasn't it? SO much has happened.
--Patrick
Good to see you too, Nick, please go back to the Superman avatar please.Calleja! Good to see you, man. If you're interested, I wrote a thing on my blog awhile back called 10 Small Things to Deal with Depression. They're things that helped me get through some bouts, myself.
There's also my short story about depression, The Never-Ending Battle. A lot of people say they've really related to when they read it.
I feel weird shamelessly sharing my own work like this, but it's relevant at least, right?
Just remember that just because you're depressed, it doesn't mean you ARE depression. It doesn't define who you are.
B-b-but this avatar is kind of a play on the new book I'm writing!Good to see you too, Nick, please go back to the Superman avatar please.
And nothing weird man, I appreciate you sharing it. It's knowing some of you guys have been going through similar shit that I decided to post here, kinda doing point 4 on your blog post here, heh. Definitely gonna follow some of your advice too, thanks man.
Psh. Speak for yourself. I'm only here to shamelessly self-promote until I become ultra-famous and drop you losers like a bad habit.if anyone can help you out of a hole, it's these guys. Us guys. Whichever...
You are? Drat, I was just going to ask you to elaborate on those "bad habits" in an attempt to have leverage over you when you become ultra-famous.Christ I hope everyone realizes I'm joking in the above post.