Search forums

Forums

Export thread

Ask A Banana Anything! (aka Mr. Z makes a thread)

Feb 22, 2016#1

J

Jesterboom

So, Im CeltZ's Husband and here's my AMA.
Things you should know about me.

1. Im married to CeltZ
2. I put a baby in her
3. yeeeeeessssssssss

Im only here for a limited amount of time, so ask away!

Feb 22, 2016#2

Celt Z

4. He's not my alt. He's doing this of his own volition.

Feb 22, 2016#3

strawman

What do you do when you're not doing what you're supposed to do?

Feb 22, 2016#4

Ravenpoe

Jesterboom said:
So, Im CeltZ's Husband and here's my AMA.
Things you should know about me.

1. Im married to CeltZ
2. I put a baby in her
3. yeeeeeessssssssss

Im only here for a limited amount of time, so ask away!

Can we get more details about number 2? Preferably with graphs and pictures. A flow chart couldn't hurt.

Feb 22, 2016#5

Gruebeard

Are you jealous of all the time Keltsy spends with us?

Feb 22, 2016#6

J

Jesterboom

stienman said:
What do you do when you're not doing what you're supposed to do?

I do what I want to do, when i'm doing it otherwise, i'm not supposed to be doing what i'm not doing, when im doing it. but while im doing it, i can only imagine that this is what im supposed to be doing. If im not doing it, then it's not being done and then who will do it?

Ravenpoe said:
Can we get more details about number 2? Preferably with graphs and pictures. A flow chart couldn't hurt.

and yes. the monkey costume is required.

Gruebeard said:
Are you jealous of all the time Keltsy spends with us?

She actually tells me shes on craigslist trying to bag another chick so we can finally have my fantasy where i'm laying in bed with my legs spread eagle and they're trying to tee off on a grapefruit that my piece is holding up, with a golf club made up of baguettes.

I'm actually sad this is what she's been doing.

Feb 22, 2016#7

drifter

When you eat a banana, are you conflicted about being a cannibal, or are you turned on at the thought of eating yourself?

Feb 22, 2016#8

Bumble the Boy Wonder

When do I get an autographed picture of you in the banana suit with my autographed picture?

Feb 22, 2016#9

J

Jesterboom

drifter said:
When you eat a banana, are you conflicted about being a cannibal, or are you turned on at the thought of eating yourself?

Don't pretend like you've never looked at an appendage and thought "Man, if i could stick that in my mouth, i'd never need to leave the house"
This is better. I can buy them at the supermarket.

Bumble the Boy Wonder said:
When do I get an autographed picture of you in the banana suit with my autographed picture?

when im "done" with yours.

Feb 22, 2016#10

Dave

I have no question. I just want to say welcome and how much I'm liking your posts.

Feb 22, 2016#11

MindDetective

This thread is hilarious on so many levels.

Where's the username come from?

Feb 22, 2016#12

GasBandit

You ever go to eat a pork sausage, and find it's got hairs growin' all over it?

Oh come on you guys knew I was gonna ask.

Feb 22, 2016#13

PatrThom

Jesterboom said:
S2. I put a baby in her

At best, you put half a baby in her.

What do you think would be the best time of year to visit Paris?
I'm not talking about staying there for months, just a quick 2-week jaunt at most.

--Patrick

Feb 22, 2016#14

J

Jesterboom

MindDetective said:
This thread is hilarious on so many levels.

Where's the username come from?

The final version of the handle actually comes from a game called "America's Army." It was a Propaganda/Shooter game that was basically CS for people who wanted to wage war on america's behalf. Anyway, I've always been called "Jester" and my friend and I started clan within the game, it was [BOOM] Jester 1.6.
When the game ended, I was always known as BoomJester and when it was time to make a PSN name, I just flipped it to be "JesterBoom"[DOUBLEPOST=1456178740,1456178674][/DOUBLEPOST]

GasBandit said:
You ever go to eat a pork sausage, and find it's got hairs growin' all over it?

Oh come on you guys knew I was gonna ask.

Then whoever owns the pork sausage needs to shave or at least trim. Don't need that tickling me on the nose and I'm assuming neither do you.

Feb 22, 2016#15

J

Jesterboom

PatrThom said:
At best, you put half a baby in her.

I barely needed to put half of me in her. I was probably snoring by the time she felt anything and trust me bud, it's not a long ride.

PatrThom said:
What do you think would be the best time of year to visit Paris?
I'm not talking about staying there for months, just a quick 2-week jaunt at most.

So there was this one time at YMCA right? we had these international french students that stayed at camp with us for two weeks. They kind of spoke english, kind of not. Like enough where you could understand what was happening and still think that it's cute and sexy cause they dont really get what you're saying. So they go on this like off-site trip and it's 4 hours long. No bathroom. We're all sitting around the rec area when the bus pulls back up and one french girl starts SPRINTING out of the bus. Shes fuckin' BOOKING it bro. Full sprint to the bathroom. She's got on a white shirt and like an amazing set of tits and it's just FLOPPING every where. Like full baywatch if it was french. She actually got a whole chorus of cheers.

Anyway, that's about as close to France I ever came.

Feb 22, 2016#16

Dave

America's Army. I remember that game. It was free and actually a really good FPS. Lots of campers, though.

Feb 22, 2016#17

GasBandit

Jesterboom said:
So there was this one time at YMCA right? we had these international french students that stayed at camp with us for two weeks. They kind of spoke english, kind of not. Like enough where you could understand what was happening and still think that it's cute and sexy cause they dont really get what you're saying. So they go on this like off-site trip and it's 4 hours long. No bathroom. We're all sitting around the rec area when the bus pulls back up and one french girl starts SPRINTING out of the bus. Shes fuckin' BOOKING it bro. Full sprint to the bathroom. She's got on a white shirt and like an amazing set of tits and it's just FLOPPING every where. Like full baywatch if it was french. She actually got a whole chorus of cheers.

Anyway, that's about as close to France I ever came.

Ok, another question, unrelated to the quoted post -

Would you be willing to meet me alone at my secluded barn in the woods so that I can wear you like a disguise and take your place in life as my own?

Feb 22, 2016#18

J

Jesterboom

Dave said:
America's Army. I remember that game. It was free and actually a really good FPS. Lots of campers, though.

The Reason we had the name "BOOM" was that we got REALLY good at using grenades. Favorite tactic was to cook the nade, run into a room and suicide bomb it.

God, Im messed up.

Feb 22, 2016#19

J

Jesterboom

GasBandit said:
Would you be willing to meet me alone at my secluded barn in the woods so that I can wear you like a disguise and take your place in life as my own?

I've seen this movie. it was amazing.

Ok. Here's a few pointers.

1. Pee sitting down.
2. Love the Jets but Hate the Bills, Patriots, Red Sox and Liverpool FC. You're ambivalent towards the following - Mets, Giants and Hockey
3. Love the PS4. You better hit the Platinum Trophies.

there's More, but yeah. that's a fairly good start.

Feb 22, 2016#20

GasBandit

Jesterboom said:
I've seen this movie. it was amazing.

Ok. Here's a few pointers.

1. Pee sitting down.
2. Love the Jets but Hate the Bills, Patriots, Red Sox and Liverpool FC. You're ambivalent towards the following - Mets, Giants and Hockey

3. Love the PS4. You better hit the Platinum Trophies.

Hrm... would... would Keltsy notice anything extraordinarily amiss if you suddenly became an ardent member of the PC Master Race?

Feb 22, 2016#21

Celt Z

If you emit enough of a noxious, gassy odor, no, I won't be able to tell the difference.

Feb 22, 2016#22

GasBandit

Celt Z said:
If you emit enough of a noxious, gassy odor, no, I won't be able to tell the difference.

Feb 22, 2016#23

Dei

GasBandit said:
Hrm... would... would Keltsy notice anything extraordinarily amiss if you suddenly became an ardent member of the PC Master Race?

You might need to get him to put on some pounds first though.[emoji14]

Feb 22, 2016#24

Dave

I *DO* have a question! Why are you not sticking around?

Feb 22, 2016#25

J

Jesterboom

Dave said:
I *DO* have a question! Why are you not sticking around?

So, on a serious note. Everyone has their own "thing." This is CeltZ's. I have Destiny, the Division, Other stuff, Etc. I want this to be her space and don't want to intrude. She can say things to/with you guys without having to worry about my feelings and stuff like that.

While I respect couples that "share everything" - I've never quite believed in that.

To this day, I refuse to go into her purse to get anything; no matter how specific the instructions are. Im going to grab the entire purse and give it to her.

Feb 22, 2016#26

GasBandit

Dei said:
You might need to get him to put on some pounds first though.[emoji14]

Meh, the face is the only part I really need. The banana suit will cover the rest.

Bet you thought I was going to make a Silence of the Lambs reference, didn't cha.

Feb 22, 2016#27

JetsterBoom

Hello CeltZ wife person! It is I, your husband. I like peeing sitting down and the Jets. I need you to come pick me up from this barn in the middle of the woods, my car has broken down and I don't have any cell signal bars out here. Please hurry, I am eager to be home again with you and Lil' Z! There is no need to bring any weapons or other people.

Feb 22, 2016#28

Celt Z

Feb 22, 2016#29

PatrThom

JetsterBoom said:
I like peeing sitting down and the Jets.

Who doesn't love a bidet?

--Patrick

Feb 22, 2016#30

PatrThom

Jesterboom said:
Im only here for a limited amount of time

Aw, I missed this part.

Well, I hope you enjoy us until you've shriveled up and turned brown.

--Patrick

Feb 23, 2016#31

bhamv3

I don't have a question, I just want to say I have met this man in real life, and no, that's not a banana suit, it's his real skin.

Feb 23, 2016#32

ThatNickGuy

Personally, even though I totally get that you want this to be Celt's space, you would totally be welcome around these here parts. Especially after this whole thread.

My question, if you're willing to answer it:

Be honest. How often does Celt have you wear things like the banana suit in the bedroom?

Feb 23, 2016#33

J

Jesterboom

ThatNickGuy said:
Be honest. How often does Celt have you wear things like the banana suit in the bedroom?

Never. Dude. She knows where that banana has been. (seriously. It's been places.)
However, our friend did get me a a Left shark costume for Christmas (yeah, i don't know either.) and she was very upset that i didn't shovel the snow in it this past month.

Feb 23, 2016#34

WasabiPoptart

Jesterboom said:
The Reason we had the name "BOOM" was that we got REALLY good at using grenades. Favorite tactic was to cook the nade, run into a room and suicide bomb it.

God, Im messed up.

Sounds like my husband's tactic for playing Halo's capture the flag or whatever it was.

Feb 23, 2016#35

J

Jesterboom

WasabiPoptart said:
Sounds like my husband's tactic for playing Halo's capture the flag or whatever it was.

Man after my own heart

Feb 23, 2016#36

HCGLNS

What card games do you like to play?

Feb 24, 2016#37

Hailey Knight

This thread reminds me why I don't have an AMA.

Welcome, Mr. Z!

Feb 24, 2016#38

J

Jesterboom

HCGLNS said:
What card games do you like to play?

Unpopular opinion inbound

- I hate cards against humanity. Used to love it, now cant stand it

Generally I like most casino card games. However I was a fairly consistent MtG player back in the day.
Also, UNO.

Feb 24, 2016#39

HCGLNS

UNO Avengers is pretty big in our house these days.

How do you pronounce Eilonwy?

Feb 24, 2016#40

Celt Z

Jesterboom said:
Unpopular opinion inbound

- I hate cards against humanity. Used to love it, now cant stand it

Generally I like most casino card games. However I was a fairly consistent MtG player back in the day.
Also, UNO.

I think you mean Apples to Apples. You love Cards Against Humanity.

Feb 24, 2016#41

J

Jesterboom

HCGLNS said:
How do you pronounce Eilonwy?

Eli-Own-y[DOUBLEPOST=1456349208,1456348661][/DOUBLEPOST]

Celt Z said:
I think you mean Apples to Apples. You love Cards Against Humanity.

yes dear

Feb 24, 2016#42

Ravenpoe

Jesterboom said:
yes dear

I understand now why you aren't sticking around.

Feb 24, 2016#43

Celt Z

Ravenpoe said:
I understand now why you aren't sticking around.

Hey, he told me to correct it! (Granted, we had this conversation irl, so I got no proof.)

Mar 7, 2016#44

Officer_Charon

I am genuinely upset that I missed this thread. Godspeed, you magnificent fruit.

Mar 10, 2016#45

J

Jesterboom

May the potassium be with you

Apr 1, 2016#46

bhamv3

Hey Banana Man? I just remembered that Celzy once posted something in which she said that if you read it, it would make your day. So, just in case you haven't seen it:

https://www.halforums.com/threads/so-my-boyfriend-is-caucasian-white.30334/#post-1116559

Apr 1, 2016#47

Celt Z

bhamv3 said:
Hey Banana Man? I just remembered that Celzy once posted something in which she said that if you read it, it would make your day. So, just in case you haven't seen it:

https://www.halforums.com/threads/so-my-boyfriend-is-caucasian-white.30334/#post-1116559

I forgot about that! I'll let him know to check the thread later.

Apr 2, 2016#48

J

Jesterboom

http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/01/25...-after-footlong-sandwich-fails-to-measure-up/

Forums