Honestly, typing it up made me realize how ridiculous I'm being.Talk to her. Get her point of view. Explain your needs to her.
Also, you say there are times when she is "almost intent on not wanting to look like she's dependent on me". Why should she be dependent on you? You aren't married. You have a 4 month old relationship. I'm assuming you aren't living together. Sure she might have some issue where she thinks she doesn't need anyone else, but ... your reaction "it throws me in some funk" is not exactly healthy either. You might want to explore why you think you have to take care of her or have her dependent on you in order to feel good about the relationship and yourself.
Part of the problem is I'm not exactly the most open person either, so it's hard to get that kind of dialogue going between us unless we've got a few drinks in our system.I am kind of this way. I find it endlessly frustrating when people think I don't care about them because I suck at showing it. That said, I agree that you shouldn't be letting it put you in a funk. My husband though, has felt the same way you are feeling right now I'd wager, and it's very important to keep lines of communication open so that things aren't taken completely the wrong way to the point that you are both hurt and you think you are the only one who gives a damn.
YES SIR.Man up and stick it in your therapist's pooper.
As somebody who very recently went through the "zomg what is she thinking?" phase, I can personally attest that fretting will do you no good. You'll lose sleep and it'll bring down your quality of life. That's why talking is key.We managed to talk and ironed a few things out - but I think I just need to come to terms that I need to focus on my own things instead of fretting about what's going on in her mind. She obviously wants me around and enjoys my company - so I should just enjoy it for what it is.
I should just enjoy it for what it is.
What little has been shared in this thread (and third-hand, at that) makes me think she has been burned/embarrassed/hurt/whatever at some point in the past, and so decided her internal self would live life a little more "hands off the controls" as far as transmitting her internal processes to her perimeter. This may be a deal-breaker if you require visible feedback from your partner, but if you allow her to live inside her pillow fort while you simultaneously make it clear that you're ok with holding her hand through the window, you (both) should be fine. Some people get really attached to the huts they have built for themselves. You have to be willing to hang out on the porch long enough for them to feel comfortable coming out and sitting with you, but if you're not that patient (or that motivated), then it could never happen.time is often the answer.
Eh. After a night of drinking we argued about something stupid and she decided that because she dealt with so many red flags with her previous relationship that she can't tolerate one red flag from me (which was getting drunk and bickering).Was that because you did or did not take our stellar advice?
Or did you surprise her by sticking it in her pooper?
On it. Thank god for things like tinder.That sucks, I'm sorry to hear that. But in the words of Scorpion: