I don't have kids, so any advice I give is anecdotal at best. When I was teaching my niece chess (she was six, is seven), and I was sure she understood the rules, if she cheated or complained, I asked her to explain why she wanted to cheat or was complaining. If the answer was that she was bored, we did something different. If the answer was because she wasn't winning, I asked her why I didn't complain if I was losing. She couldn't answer that question, so we kept playing, and she seemed to grow out of it over the year.This is what I did tonight, but...
I do always tell her to git gud, but in a nicer way.Also she's been throwing these fits for YEARS. I'd blame the age, except at some point I feel like she should start to know better, and 9 is getting to a point where when we've been gaming as a family for years I clearly need to find a new solution.
Whine like a baby, now with 500% more drama!
- Thread starter strawman
- Start date
Damn bow, I'm sorry
My sympathies to you and your family, Bowie.
Not unexpected, given your previous post.
Sorry the two of you didn't get to spend more uninterrupted time together.
--Patrick
About that same age, we sat down and had a talk with our daughter. Laid it out plain and simple.I do always tell her to git gud, but in a nicer way.
"You're gonna lose at things. The sign to us that you're growing up, and able to handle more stuff is that you learn to lose with style. From now on, when we're playing a game like this and things aren't going your way, we're going to send you to your room, and we will keep playing the game, because we want to have fun together and your poor losing isn't going to ruin our fun."
Went a little rough the first couple of times, she ended up losing privileges to things that weren't involved in the fit, but she learned that we were serious about our talk. This was our solution, ymmv.
As an aside, we found over the years that she saw a distinct difference between me telling her something, and my wife telling her something. With the wife, she'd push the boundaries fast and hard, trying to escalate the confrontation, with me, she didn't try as hard because I made it obvious years earlier that I was going to be the "mean" parent.
"learning to lose" and "learning to accept failure" and all that are very important, and something that, as has been noted a million times in media, is something children aren't being taught enough anymore. Games are a fairly good medium to teach them how and why - sometimes it's bad luck, sometimes it's bad decisions, sometimes, well, it just happens. It's not fun, and you should probably try to win, but even if hope of winning is lost, you still have to keep playing and keep the game fun, both for yourself (set another goal than "winning", if need be) and for others; it's unfair to spoil someone else's fun.
When my brother was a "bad loser", my parents solved it by responding by being a bad loser when he was winning - ending the game before he won, complaining, etc. Not a tactic I'd suggest, honestly, but it did help him understand that complaining really makes it less fun for whoever's winning.
When my brother was a "bad loser", my parents solved it by responding by being a bad loser when he was winning - ending the game before he won, complaining, etc. Not a tactic I'd suggest, honestly, but it did help him understand that complaining really makes it less fun for whoever's winning.
I am going on one hour of sleep for a full day of travel. I'm with a coworker and am trying desperately not be rude and pass out at the table here for lunch.
Entirely self inflicted. My aurora tour got in about 90 minutes before we were meant to meet in the lobby to go to the airport.
Entirely self inflicted. My aurora tour got in about 90 minutes before we were meant to meet in the lobby to go to the airport.
Cajungal
Staff member
When a group of my students couldn't stop crying about losing at soccer during recess (and everything else didn't work), I told them they had 3 choices: quit playing soccer if you can't handle losing, practice every day and get awesome, or just play and be glad you can. Or else be relegated to the tetherball area.
Sorry to hear, Bowie. My condolences.
I really do not want to sneeze.
I'd like it if I didn't wheeze.
This cough is causing me to worry.
It needs to stop and in a hurry.
I do not like to have a cold!
I do not like it! It's gotten old.
I'd like it if I didn't wheeze.
This cough is causing me to worry.
It needs to stop and in a hurry.
I do not like to have a cold!
I do not like it! It's gotten old.
*snaps fingers*
The highlight of the rest of my day after busting my butt at work all night was going to be a broth bowl from Panera. I make a point of asking if it was available that early. Girl at the register says YES. So I order one.
After I pay for it and the order is sent to the display board for the kitchen, the manager comes out asking who rang up the broth bowl. Turns out it's NOT available in the mornings. I get a refund and leave with nothing (not counting the muffin my mom asked for.)
Basically, that.
Every day I go to the Enmark gas stations, they make a point of reminding me that candy bars are 6 for $5 right now.
*looks wearily down at gut being held in check by coffee and willpower at this point* I hate you, Instant Hole.
*looks wearily down at gut being held in check by coffee and willpower at this point* I hate you, Instant Hole.
Cajungal
Staff member
Well most of the kids who were better participated in team sports. They're taught (bu good coaches, anyway) how to lose and win gracefully.
It's weird, I haven't needed drops since like a month after I had it. Were your eyes immediately like that or did you get some time where you didn't and it just gets worse?
And @Dei this is your own fault for playing Mario party. That game is evil.
It was worse because we were playing Bowser Party and my husband was destroying both of my kids (and my son tends to be the best one at video games these days).
GasBandit
Staff member
It comes and goes. My eyes were always a little on the dry side, but now once every month or two, a day comes along where they get so dry that my eyeball fluid turns to sludge that I can't blink off my cornea and won't let me see clearly. So I gotta put in drops.
Dude, you ate my pringles while I was away.
Besides I needed a celebration pudding after the weapon I got in Diablo last night.
Besides I needed a celebration pudding after the weapon I got in Diablo last night.
(Hands @Emrys another brick for The Wall)
Wait, I thought the horde of beastlings was what we built The Wall to keep out, there in the Northern Wastes?