Oh hey, mine has a sign over the door as well, it reads "work will set you free"....
Rant VIII: The Reckoning
- Thread starter Anonymous
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Man, DO I understand this right now.
Well, the update is we'll know Monday if she keeps her job or not. So yeah, any advice?
Lots and lots of ice cream. Or alcohol. Or chocolate. Or candles. Or a punching bag. Whatever's her performed way of dealing with stress.
Cajungal
Staff member
And massages?
always massages.
Redirect emergency power!
All energy to forward thrusters.
Be there for her, not much else you can do.
Sleep with her boss to influence the decision?
GasBandit
Staff member
Disengage the safety interlocks and hit the main deflector with a graviton particle beam!
I don't think proposing right now is the answer.
not to be a combo breaker, but...
My son was diagnosed with autism a few months ago. The full testing would have cost us around 6 grand, except for the fact that my insurance covers 100% of mental health testing, after the deductible. So that's nice.
Except that part of the autism diagnosis requires testing by a speech pathologist. It's a required part of the diagnosis.
BUT it can't be coded as "mental health testing"...even though it's required for it. It has to be coded as "medical evaluation", which is not covered at 100%.
So, yes, I do have to pay this big fat bill that's sitting on my desk. Fucking hell.
My son was diagnosed with autism a few months ago. The full testing would have cost us around 6 grand, except for the fact that my insurance covers 100% of mental health testing, after the deductible. So that's nice.
Except that part of the autism diagnosis requires testing by a speech pathologist. It's a required part of the diagnosis.
BUT it can't be coded as "mental health testing"...even though it's required for it. It has to be coded as "medical evaluation", which is not covered at 100%.
So, yes, I do have to pay this big fat bill that's sitting on my desk. Fucking hell.
Yeah... getting ready to feel that feel as well, I do believe. :/
yeah, that's why I bought a snow blower
You know that thing where you shout, "STOP HUGGING ME, ASSHOLES!" Yeah, that's probably gonna happen.
fade
Staff member
This is way funnier if you drop the comma and read it in a pirate voice.
"Why is yer bum gone?"
--Patrick
(yes it's a bit of a stretch but I couldn't stop mysellllllf)
A
Anonymous
Anonymous
Third argument of the week. She thinks I'm not happy but I can't pinpoint what is causing me to take offense at the smallest things.
I accused her of being overly-critical, she accused me of being overly-sensitive, and it goes around and around.
She asked me if I'm truly happy with her, or if I just want to be happy with her and I'm trying to make it work. I honestly hadn't thought of it before. What do you say to that? After repeated arguments, yeah... not happy. But it's not her. When we don't argue over stupid shit, I'm very happy.
It's like a fucking roller coaster, and I'm not sure what to do.
I accused her of being overly-critical, she accused me of being overly-sensitive, and it goes around and around.
She asked me if I'm truly happy with her, or if I just want to be happy with her and I'm trying to make it work. I honestly hadn't thought of it before. What do you say to that? After repeated arguments, yeah... not happy. But it's not her. When we don't argue over stupid shit, I'm very happy.
It's like a fucking roller coaster, and I'm not sure what to do.
Dave
Staff member
That last sentence in the next-to-last paragraph? Yeah. THAT'S what you tell her.
EVERYONE goes through this. Everyone. If you each are exploding about the dumbest things, you're normal. If you want to stop, get counseling. You, especially, have said that you take offense to the slightest thing. Something is up in your noggin', man. Sort that out and the rest might just fall into place.
A
Anonymous
Anonymous
Well, let's see...
Work sucks. The workload is nuts, I'm not performing up to my own personal standards, I feel like my current batch of colleagues are treacherous gossips eager to bash anyone that doesn't do things "their way", and I was told there's no guarantee of my continued employment after June.
Family sucks. My parents' health is rapidly declining, they aren't taking care of themselves, and they seem to resent that I'm not around as much as they would like - even though I visit them at least once a week and talk on the phone a few times every week.
Friends suck. For whatever reason, we're all going in different directions and hardly talk anymore.
Money sucks. I don't have nearly enough (same for everyone, I imagine).
Health sucks. I've been sick 4 times in the last 3 months and I'm always exhausted due to lack of sleep.
So that leaves relationship... with more and more arguments. And other issues I don't want to discuss here.
I don't know how to fix any of it, at least any time soon. It makes me want to just crawl into a bed and not have contact with the outside world for a while.
Dave
Staff member
So you are super duper stressed. Dude, I totally get that. You have no IDEA how much I get that. I had the same issues, except work was mostly okay during that time. But when my dad died and I lost my house and car...all three within the same month, well, I was stressed to the breaking point as well.
You know what helped? I went and saw someone. Talked my shit out. Made a plan. Worked on the things I could, looked objectively on the things I couldn't. The biggest problem is, these things are a circle. It's like a snake eating its own tail. You're stressed because of X, your stress makes it harder to sleep and makes you look at things more negatively. So you perform and act differently, which makes work, relationships, everything harder...which causes more stress. Second verse, same as the first.
I know I'm just some stranger on the internet, but it really does help if you can do it. Go see someone. Check with your work (if you are in the US) and see if there's some sort of a work-sponsored thing you can use like EAP (Employee Assistance Program). It may be free the first couple times. With my work I could go three times before I had to pay anything.
Go get help, man. You can't be doing this alone.
You know what helped? I went and saw someone. Talked my shit out. Made a plan. Worked on the things I could, looked objectively on the things I couldn't. The biggest problem is, these things are a circle. It's like a snake eating its own tail. You're stressed because of X, your stress makes it harder to sleep and makes you look at things more negatively. So you perform and act differently, which makes work, relationships, everything harder...which causes more stress. Second verse, same as the first.
I know I'm just some stranger on the internet, but it really does help if you can do it. Go see someone. Check with your work (if you are in the US) and see if there's some sort of a work-sponsored thing you can use like EAP (Employee Assistance Program). It may be free the first couple times. With my work I could go three times before I had to pay anything.
Go get help, man. You can't be doing this alone.
You're stressed, that means you're going to lash out, most likely at whomever is convenient, which means she probably bears the brunt since she's the one most likely around the most.
You two need to find some way to team up together against the stressors in your lives, because trying to handle them independently (and/or haphazardly) is just going to drive a wedge between you two. If you can't do this with just the two of you, then you may need to bring (an)other person(s) into it, either as peer(s) or as a counselor.
Good luck and patience be with you.
--Patrick
You two need to find some way to team up together against the stressors in your lives, because trying to handle them independently (and/or haphazardly) is just going to drive a wedge between you two. If you can't do this with just the two of you, then you may need to bring (an)other person(s) into it, either as peer(s) or as a counselor.
Good luck and patience be with you.
--Patrick
You also may be able to find someone who does counseling on a sliding scale based on your income so that you don't have to pay through the nose to get help. This site may help: Counseling.org - Find a counselor