[Rant] Minor Rant III: For a Few Hollers More

Holy shit, parents.

1) If you'd been paying any attention whatsoever, you would have noticed your child's grade long before that ugly "F" or "D" showed up on the report card.
2) Your child, perfect and unique snowflake that s/he is, doesn't turn anything in. It's pretty cut and dry for me to give him/her an "F" when there are so many blanks in my grade book.
3) You're a chickenshit to immediately send emails to the counselor and the VP that you know without talking to me first. Fortunately for me, they're professionals and decided they would hear my side of the story first. So nice try.
 
Holy shit, parents.

1) If you'd been paying any attention whatsoever, you would have noticed your child's grade long before that ugly "F" or "D" showed up on the report card.
2) Your child, perfect and unique snowflake that s/he is, doesn't turn anything in. It's pretty cut and dry for me to give him/her an "F" when there are so many blanks in my grade book.
3) You're a chickenshit to immediately send emails to the counselor and the VP that you know without talking to me first. Fortunately for me, they're professionals and decided they would hear my side of the story first. So nice try.
"Sally said that she turned in all her work on time, just her teacher doesn't like her and purposely loses her work and gives her zeros." - Sorta like that?
 
Holy shit, parents.

1) If you'd been paying any attention whatsoever, you would have noticed your child's grade long before that ugly "F" or "D" showed up on the report card.
2) Your child, perfect and unique snowflake that s/he is, doesn't turn anything in. It's pretty cut and dry for me to give him/her an "F" when there are so many blanks in my grade book.
3) You're a chickenshit to immediately send emails to the counselor and the VP that you know without talking to me first. Fortunately for me, they're professionals and decided they would hear my side of the story first. So nice try.
"I don't know who you are mister, but I completely trust my child when he says he gets all his homework done on the bus ride home so he can play video games and watch TV until bedtime."
 

Cajungal

Staff member
I love how many crafty, creative ways parents come up with to say "my child wouldn't do that." They always try to finesse it into something else. "Oh, well, I've never seen that kind of behavior." Well, maybe that's because you're out of town half of every month and talk on your cell phone every time you're with your child.
 
I love how many crafty, creative ways parents come up with to say "my child wouldn't do that." They always try to finesse it into something else. "Oh, well, I've never seen that kind of behavior." Well, maybe that's because you're out of town half of every month and talk on your cell phone every time you're with your child.
I'm at least thankful the parents and family of the accused Boston Marathon Bombers have agreed they are the lowest form of life.
 
I love how many crafty, creative ways parents come up with to say "my child wouldn't do that." They always try to finesse it into something else. "Oh, well, I've never seen that kind of behavior." Well, maybe that's because you're out of town half of every month and talk on your cell phone every time you're with your child.
The stories my wife tells me from her classes, just unreal. I think we've had this discussion before though.
 
"Sally said that she turned in all her work on time, just her teacher doesn't like her and purposely loses her work and gives her zeros." - Sorta like that?
That's a pretty good summary of the email that was sent out, yeah.
"I don't know who you are mister, but I completely trust my child when he says he gets all his homework done on the bus ride home so he can play video games and watch TV until bedtime."
... and probably a little of that too.

No, this one student in particular (boldly) declared that s/he would not do a major assignment. I asked him/her if they needed more time, turn it in late with a penalty for at least something, etc. But no. Just not gonna do it.

So here we are two weeks later. Report cards went out, and his/her grade went from a C- to an F. Parent demands to know why, and told me to "...come up with a list of three days and times to meet, and I will choose one. Then we will get to the bottom of why _____ doesn't have a better grade."

Yeah. I can't wait.
 
That's a pretty good summary of the email that was sent out, yeah.

... and probably a little of that too.

No, this one student in particular (boldly) declared that s/he would not do a major assignment. I asked him/her if they needed more time, turn it in late with a penalty for at least something, etc. But no. Just not gonna do it.

So here we are two weeks later. Report cards went out, and his/her grade went from a C- to an F. Parent demands to know why, and told me to "...come up with a list of three days and times to meet, and I will choose one. Then we will get to the bottom of why _____ doesn't have a better grade."

Yeah. I can't wait.
"I can do that right (expletive deleted) now. Your child refused to do an assignment, and publicly announced that intention. I have witnesses. (you do, right?)."
 
That's a pretty good summary of the email that was sent out, yeah.

... and probably a little of that too.

No, this one student in particular (boldly) declared that s/he would not do a major assignment. I asked him/her if they needed more time, turn it in late with a penalty for at least something, etc. But no. Just not gonna do it.

So here we are two weeks later. Report cards went out, and his/her grade went from a C- to an F. Parent demands to know why, and told me to "...come up with a list of three days and times to meet, and I will choose one. Then we will get to the bottom of why _____ doesn't have a better grade."

Yeah. I can't wait.
"Your kid is a slacker" doesn't cut it huh?
 
The use of "feels" instead of "feelings" makes me want to throw stale loaves of bread at peoples' heads, and in the confusion, run up to them and strangle them with their own intestines, I swear to fuck.

The good news is I don't usually have stale loaves of bread on hand, so everyone is safe for now.
I kinda like feels, its catchy!

I mean its not like calling something "Jewish" to mean its lame. Cartman is fictional kids, stop emulating him!
 
I kinda like feels, its catchy!

I mean its not like calling something "Jewish" to mean its lame. Cartman is fictional kids, stop emulating him!
Uhm.... Waitwhat. I don't know how we got to racial epithets, and I hate to be the one to tell you that Cartman is not exactly the first person to use "Jew" as a pejorative, but the word 'feels' as in 'I know those feels' or 'I've been having a lot of feels lately' just rubs me the wrong way for reasons I can't fully explain or justify. My statement was hyperbolic with the intent of amusing, while venting about something which is, really, fairly innocuous.
 
Uhm.... Waitwhat. I don't know how we got to racial epithets, and I hate to be the one to tell you that Cartman is not exactly the first person to use "Jew" as a pejorative, but the word 'feels' as in 'I know those feels' or 'I've been having a lot of feels lately' just rubs me the wrong way for reasons I can't fully explain or justify. My statement was hyperbolic with the intent of amusing, while venting about something which is, really, fairly innocuous.
It's best to not ask how Yoshi makes his leaps in conversation.

I imagine he's conversing with the troll that lives in his ear.
 
Chad Sexington
I did not illustrate my point properly and I apologize. My point was that in terms of the idiocy of slang, I have heard a lot worse than "feels" and used calling something "Jewish" as a more idiotic slang. And I'm pretty sure they say Jewish from watching South Park since most of said people watch nothing but comedy central shows. And they don't say "Jew" in my neighborhood either, they say stuff like "That is so Jewish!" Its just weird racist slang! Any way I was trying to bring defense to the term "Feels" by bring offense to an awful slang term said by awful people in my neighborhood. Looking at my earlier post, I can see why someone can get confused as I am chaos incarnate and even I don't realize how confusing the meaning my posts are sometimes.
It's best to not ask how Yoshi makes his leaps in conversation.

I imagine he's conversing with the troll that lives in his ear.
Oh please, there's no troll in my ear! Just a monkey in my brain, a ghost in my right knee, a rabbit in my liver, a wolf in my pinky finger, and a demon in my heart! Pfft, trolls don't be silly- WE LIVE IN A WORLD OF SCIENCE!
 
Uhm.... Waitwhat. I don't know how we got to racial epithets, and I hate to be the one to tell you that Cartman is not exactly the first person to use "Jew" as a pejorative, but the word 'feels' as in 'I know those feels' or 'I've been having a lot of feels lately' just rubs me the wrong way for reasons I can't fully explain or justify. My statement was hyperbolic with the intent of amusing, while venting about something which is, really, fairly innocuous.
I'm assuming that it's because it makes it painfully clear that the person speaking or typing is incapable of thinking on a level higher than the regurgitation of shitty memes, or that they consider their attempts at communication to be such a low priority that they can't be bothered to present themselves like an adult. At least, that's why it bothers me.
 
Oh please, there's no troll in my ear! Just a monkey in my brain, a ghost in my right knee, a rabbit in my liver, a wolf in my pinky finger, and a demon in my heart! Pfft, trolls don't be silly- WE LIVE IN A WORLD OF SCIENCE!
Didn't Jonathan Coulton write a song about you?
 
People who ask advice but don't bother to give you all relevant information then act like you're dumb because OBVIOUSLY they can't do that because *insert hurdle to my suggestion I had no reasonable way of predicting*. You people suck.
 
Gilgamesh posted a very nice reply to my message, that apparently was removed due to some forum error (a few things got reset for me too). Just wanted him to know that I saw it and appreciated it.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
My wife is not Anti-Videogame. She's Anti-"You're not playing it with me". Every other day or every couple of days I want to maybe spend an hour or two after the kids are asleep to play a little solo campaign of whatever game I so choose. My wife's response is usually something to inspire GUILT in me. Such as instead of saying "Are you going to play a game tonight?" she'll say "You don't want to lay down with me until you go to work?". Or something along those lines. Usually using a negative spin on something ala "You don't want to spend time with me?". She says it's unintentional, which I would believe, except she seems to find plenty of ways to keep me from having me-time such as keeping me incredibly busy all day driving her and the kids around (I'm sorry. But if I'm swerving into other lanes because I'm falling asleep at the wheel due to working all night you might want to take over). And I've tried the "Why don't you sit with me WHILE I play?" but usually she'll silently sulk because I'm not offering to put in a two-player game or a movie.
Frustrating.
I have a buddy going through the same thing. His wife doesn't game at all, her thing is (nnyechh) reality TV. But she hates to watch TV alone, so if he went off to his computer room to play, she would get progressively more upset with him. So when it came time to buy a new computer, he made sure it was a very powerful laptop, so he could sit on the couch with her while she watched her stories and could still play his games.

But the last couple months it's become clear that even that's not enough any more. He's repeatedly had to cancel plans with me because of his wife's bad moods... and he would usually only do something with me once every two weeks or so for a few hours. Between this and some other little things I've picked up, I think his marriage might be headed for the rocks, and I'll be damned if I can think of any way to right the course, because it seems to me the whole problem is the wife's warped expectations.
 
To paraphrase what I originally said to Shawnacy :
Many years of fighting and arguing over my personal game time was only understood after she came to terms with the fact that she was being unreasonable. There was no other way to fix it, I wasn't going to give up games to watch RomComs every day. Considering I took care of all my responsibilities AND I spent time with her on a daily basis I stuck to my guns and kept my gaming time. It got ugly plenty of times but in the end she finally relented and realized that I could do both. So my computer is now in the same room as the television and we watch things together as I game, or I'll game when everyone's called it a night and she's reading. This situation is 100% in her court once you've explained the issue in a civil way. If she refuses, it'll only get worse till it comes to an end.

You can't change who you are and what you like to do for someone, or you'll just be miserable your whole life. It's not easy but it is possible to live and love a non-gamer if they're willing to live and love you the same way. I mean, I HAAAAATE the movies/TV my wife watches (American Life of a Teenager for example) and I used to make fun of it constantly. It bothered her, alot. So I stopped. She used to fight me nightly to go to bed with her, after an entire day of taking care of everyone but myself. All I wanted was 1-2hrs to myself. It bothered me, alot. So she stopped. During our compromises we found things we liked about each other's hobbies. She taught me not all television sucks (Once Upon A Time really surprised me) and she plays games casually now (Kingdom Hearts, Luigi's Mansion etc).

It's a long hard road, but it can work.
 
Taking an iPad to bed and reading is not the same as or as acceptable to my wife as taking a book to bed and reading. She fully understands that it doesn't make sense, but we're still stuck with this mixture of annoyance. If I stay up to read she's unhappy, and if I read in bed she's unhappy, and if I sit there in bed for 45 minutes with my mind going crazy rather than getting sleepy I'm unhappy.
Listen: have her give you a good strike to the skull with a cast iron pan, and you'll be sleeping like a baby.

My name is Leigh Johnson, and I solve problems.
 
As for the schedule thing, that definitely didn't work for me as she took it as -You have to schedule time for me now?-

Obviously don't mean it can't work, just what happened in my situation. Then again, she was very admittedly wrong about the entire situation later so I dunno.
 
Thanks Gilgamesh, Stienman, Gas.
I'm hopeful that one day my wife will chill. We really are a great couple. I have no doubts on that. She is however a very emotional individual and sadly feelings of jealousy and neglect are very strong in her. There are other factors that need to be considered to explain her behavior. Such as she has no friends apart from my friends and one other person who I can really only call a friend if we surround the word in quotation marks. So my wife doesn't go out and really do her own thing. Luckily she has found other hobbies she likes, such as sewing, cooking, and party planning (right now she's focused in planning a huge Super Hero themed party for our three toddlers). She has a lot of free time, which is part of the problem I suspect. While I work a night shift, due to a disability she is unable to work at this time. So she's home all day, including when I'm sleeping. Typically she'll spend the day doing any of the above activities or cleaning the house. When I wake up we spend some time together and also finish up any house work we can get to. However a lot of chores we just don't have time for, and so for her that means we aren't getting anything done at all. She has a preference that we both drop the kids off at school, and we both pick the kids up from their biological father's visits, and we both go to their swimming lessons/soccer practices/gymnastic classes. It's a lot of missed potential for ample time to get chores or even some me-time in. We also are both enrolled in online classes, which leads to a good deal of homework.
I am stretched thin, and sadly the opportunity to just sit down and play something so I can relax a bit is always just out of my grasp. And my wife's nagging and guilt dripping comments do not help.
I have gotten her into trying Bioshock Infinite while I'm sleeping. When I woke up I asked her about the game and she actually got further in than I had expected she would have. I really don't know if it will have any effect, but I'm hopeful she'll start to understand the allure I have for solo games every now and again.
 
Your wife needs to get a life.

No disrespect meant at all, this is honest advice. Your relationship will be stronger if you both are able to have your own interests apart from each other. Having fun spending time together is great, it's healthy, it's a big part of a relationship, but things can go sour if you -have- to be together to have fun.
 
I agree with Poe. Though I also wonder if her current disability has something to do with it. If she is always in the house and does not have many friends, then you could be the only adult she has contact with on a regular basis. She needs something more from her life, but can't get it because she is not able to right now. However, you may want to sit her down and talk about this. You need to have time to yourself and she cannot continue to use guilt to manipulate you.
 
Your wife needs to get a life.

No disrespect meant at all, this is honest advice. Your relationship will be stronger if you both are able to have your own interests apart from each other. Having fun spending time together is great, it's healthy, it's a big part of a relationship, but things can go sour if you -have- to be together to have fun.
No disrespect taken, as this is advice I have given her myself a long time ago. I informed her that I was concerned that her decision to not have friends that she can unwind with or even "girls night out" with was going to cause some frustration. Especially since I have friends with whom I'd like to do the same. Sadly I haven't had the opportunity to spend time with a friend without my wife joining us. Not that I terribly mind, as she does fit in very well, but a guy occasionally likes to go and do his own thing.

I got an hour of xbox tonight before work. She refrained from saying anything, but I kinda got a cold shoulder from her when I came in to say goodnight before heading out. This was after I had discussed with her using the extra time I had tomorrow (starting work at midnight instead of 10) to do whatever she liked.

Can't win.
 
Ok, new plan.

You: I kinda want to play some Bioshock tonight.

Her: Well, I guess you can sleep on the couch then!

You: Sweet! All night gaming session!
 

fade

Staff member
Yeah, again, no offense meant, but if you don't get some Shawnacy time, it's going to be a short marriage.
 
My wife didn't surprise me in the least this morning. After my morning shift she texted me and asked me "What did you do after I fell asleep?". I told her the truth. "I cuddled with you until I went to work.". So she said "Oh okay! Guess I can't be mad at you then. House is a mess. If you had played video games instead of cleaning I would have been very upset."

Apparently it's okay to be lazy when it's with her. Just not lazy on my own.

Just so I can get us moving in the right direction I brought this up in a non confrontational way.
"When you said that this morning, I interpreted as..."
She kept silent. So I got really no clue.
 
You need to sit down and hash this out with your wife. She can ether accept you have an innocent hobby or she can keep making everyone (including herself) unhappy.
 
She obviously hates video games and thinks they are a waste of time. I don't know what you expect. I doubt you'll ever be able to change her mind on the subject.
 
She obviously hates video games and thinks they are a waste of time. I don't know what you expect. I doubt you'll ever be able to change her mind on the subject.
She doesnt though. She enjoys them. She just dislikes when i play them solo. It makes her feel neglected, regardless of how responsibly i play.
 
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