My favourite annual tradition returns! From emergency room reports, we learn what objects were stuck in places they maybe shouldn't be.
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Some of my favorites.
EAR
"HAS BEEN PUTTING PAPER PRODUCTS IN HER EARS TO KEEP THE COLD OUT" - Who doesn't fight the cold that way, am I right, fellow Canadians?
"WAS WELDING OVERHEAD AND A PIECE OF METAL FELL ONTO HIS LEFT EAR MELTING HIS EAR PLUG" - Okay, fucking ow.
NOSE
"PUT PIECES OF STYROFOAM CUP IN NOSTRIL. HE WAS SEEN YESTERDAY FOR SAME THING" - You'd think they'd learn, but no.
MOUTH
"MOM TOLD THE KIDS TO CLEAN UP THEIR MONOPOLY GAME PATIENT CAME TO MOM CRYING SAYS SHE SWALLOWED THE SHOE" - Well, that's one way to make sure no one gets to use your favorite piece.
"HAVING SEVERAL DRINKS THIS MORNING, SWALLOWED A SMALL PIECE OF HIS COMPUTER" - Uh, what piece? Like...some RAM or something?
PENIS
KNIFE HANDLE - New superhero debut...Knifedick!
VAGINA
"PATIENT ADMITS TO EXTREME INTOXICATION YESTERDAY EVENING AT THE BAR, SHE WAS HITTING HER HEAD AGAINST A GLASS WINDOW AND ENDED UP CRACKING IT, SHE THEN PUNCHED A COP CAR HAS HAND PAIN, SHE REPORTS INSERTED THE BACK OF A DART INTO HER VAGINA" - And his sidekick...Vag-Dart!
RECTUM
ICE CREAM SCOOP - Fucking WHY?!
UNKNOWN AMOUNT OF MAGNETIC BALLS - I guess you lose count after awhile.
3 CELLPHONES - Come on, isn't one enough?
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year? | Defector
Happy Holidays to one and all. It’s time to gather ’round the fire with your loved ones for our nation’s oldest and finest tradition: reading about people that jammed things in their holes and couldn’t get them out without medical intervention. All reports are taken from the U.S. Consumer...
defector.com
Some of my favorites.
EAR
"HAS BEEN PUTTING PAPER PRODUCTS IN HER EARS TO KEEP THE COLD OUT" - Who doesn't fight the cold that way, am I right, fellow Canadians?
"WAS WELDING OVERHEAD AND A PIECE OF METAL FELL ONTO HIS LEFT EAR MELTING HIS EAR PLUG" - Okay, fucking ow.
NOSE
"PUT PIECES OF STYROFOAM CUP IN NOSTRIL. HE WAS SEEN YESTERDAY FOR SAME THING" - You'd think they'd learn, but no.
MOUTH
"MOM TOLD THE KIDS TO CLEAN UP THEIR MONOPOLY GAME PATIENT CAME TO MOM CRYING SAYS SHE SWALLOWED THE SHOE" - Well, that's one way to make sure no one gets to use your favorite piece.
"HAVING SEVERAL DRINKS THIS MORNING, SWALLOWED A SMALL PIECE OF HIS COMPUTER" - Uh, what piece? Like...some RAM or something?
PENIS
KNIFE HANDLE - New superhero debut...Knifedick!
VAGINA
"PATIENT ADMITS TO EXTREME INTOXICATION YESTERDAY EVENING AT THE BAR, SHE WAS HITTING HER HEAD AGAINST A GLASS WINDOW AND ENDED UP CRACKING IT, SHE THEN PUNCHED A COP CAR HAS HAND PAIN, SHE REPORTS INSERTED THE BACK OF A DART INTO HER VAGINA" - And his sidekick...Vag-Dart!
RECTUM
ICE CREAM SCOOP - Fucking WHY?!
UNKNOWN AMOUNT OF MAGNETIC BALLS - I guess you lose count after awhile.
3 CELLPHONES - Come on, isn't one enough?
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