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What Got Stuck in What Orifice 2023

#1

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

My favourite annual tradition returns! From emergency room reports, we learn what objects were stuck in places they maybe shouldn't be.


Some of my favorites.

EAR

"HAS BEEN PUTTING PAPER PRODUCTS IN HER EARS TO KEEP THE COLD OUT" - Who doesn't fight the cold that way, am I right, fellow Canadians?

"WAS WELDING OVERHEAD AND A PIECE OF METAL FELL ONTO HIS LEFT EAR MELTING HIS EAR PLUG" - Okay, fucking ow.

NOSE

"PUT PIECES OF STYROFOAM CUP IN NOSTRIL. HE WAS SEEN YESTERDAY FOR SAME THING" - You'd think they'd learn, but no.

MOUTH

"MOM TOLD THE KIDS TO CLEAN UP THEIR MONOPOLY GAME PATIENT CAME TO MOM CRYING SAYS SHE SWALLOWED THE SHOE" - Well, that's one way to make sure no one gets to use your favorite piece.

"HAVING SEVERAL DRINKS THIS MORNING, SWALLOWED A SMALL PIECE OF HIS COMPUTER" - Uh, what piece? Like...some RAM or something?

PENIS

KNIFE HANDLE - New superhero debut...Knifedick!

VAGINA

"PATIENT ADMITS TO EXTREME INTOXICATION YESTERDAY EVENING AT THE BAR, SHE WAS HITTING HER HEAD AGAINST A GLASS WINDOW AND ENDED UP CRACKING IT, SHE THEN PUNCHED A COP CAR HAS HAND PAIN, SHE REPORTS INSERTED THE BACK OF A DART INTO HER VAGINA" - And his sidekick...Vag-Dart!

RECTUM

ICE CREAM SCOOP - Fucking WHY?!

UNKNOWN AMOUNT OF MAGNETIC BALLS - I guess you lose count after awhile.

3 CELLPHONES - Come on, isn't one enough?


#2

PatrThom

PatrThom

ICE CREAM SCOOP - Fucking WHY?!
Better not be to warm it up prior to digging into a carton.

In related news, I learned the word "gingering" today.

--Patrick


#3

General Specific

General Specific

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#4

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe



#5

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy



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