I am sorry

Thanks for the update. Take your time and take it one day at a time.

What have you been reading?
 
Great to see you on here, Chad.

The dork in me wonders how many Alerts you must have had pending.
About the average number for anyone who posts cute or funny gifs regularly, I'd imagine ;)


Chad, glad you're back. Glad to hear you're feeling better (not "good" necessarily, but better than then, at any rate). Hope you'll be able to hang on to the joy of reading. Be well, and be back.
 
We're Canadians. We only punch people during hockey.
The standard procedure is to buy each other Tim Horton's coffee and talk about the government/hockey/winter/crazy Americans/summer road work/hockey.
I am a bad Canadian; I don't like hockey or Tim Horton's.
I know I'm FAR too rational to be a good choice for cheering up. I've always felt that it's better to tell someone, "You're OK" and mean it than it is to tell them, "You're wonderful!" and not. I don't know if this was some sort of "Let's see if anybody actually cares about me" test (if it was, I hope we passed!) or a genuine belief that the world was somehow being harmed by his (your) continued existence (Spoiler alert: It wasn't), but it's certainly going to have lasting repercussions either way--for him, for us, for many people on the periphery as well.
I remember feeling bad that I didn't find out about this sooner, that I didn't do enough (could I have made a difference?), worrying whether I was feeling an appropriate amount of panic over a stranger on the Internet that I've never met (who is still a human being, mind you), and just generally feeling like, aside from a text or two, my contribution to this entire incident was insignificant. I help people all the time on this forum and give (generally) useful advice on one subject or another, but I was caught completely flat-footed by this morning's events: tardy, unaware, ineffective, and helpless to assist.
...though later, I decided that this is actually a good thing. This is a thing I do not wish to practice, do not want to gain levels in, do not desire to perfect. Do you hear me, Halforums? These are not skills I wish to develop. Help me continue to suck at reacting to these remote crises by not making a habit of this sort of behavior. I want to be completely unprepared due to lack of exposure. That is all.
--Patrick
This is not unlike me, in many ways. I am often very (too?) pragmatic, which has, on occasion, given some people the sense that I am cold-blooded, while I consider it more sang-froid.
I am in awe at the strength and humanity on display by this community right now. I'm absolutely serious, I'm all choked up. I'm immensely proud to call myself a Halforumite.
Leigh, I know you don't know me from Adam, but I'm damn glad you're still with us. And if you're ever in Ottawa, drop me a line and I'll buy you all the TimBits you can eat, buddy.
Ottawa is one of my favourite cities on the planet, but I don't have much of a sweet tooth, so I'll make you buy me all the coffee I can drink... Which is all of the coffee.
You and I never talked a ton when I was really active here, but your posts often entertain me and I seriously think you have one of the best usernames on the internet.
You seem like a really, genuinely good person, and I am so sorry that life is treating you like shit right now. Please know that you are loved by many people and respected by even more. You have lots and lots of people -- myself included -- who are very glad you are still with us and are in your corner wishing you a speedy recovery. I hope someday you and I can meet up at a HF event and get scotch drunk together :)
We will get scotch drunk. Also, you have to give all the username glory to @phil who is mostly responsible for it.
Y'all do know that patient ID/location information is publicly available right? (I used to work in hospitals.)
Anyways, apparently he's sleeping right now, but was awake and had breakfast this morning. According to a nurse on the unit I just talked to.
This is crazy. I had no idea you could do that.
Chad/Leigh, I know you won't read this until you're better and I know you will be but know that many of us have been there, as you can see from this amazing thread and your own original post: There are people who love you here.
Genuinely love you. Not those who feel they have to be around you, or those using you for their own means, but real genuine love. If you feel weak, it can give you strength. Know this. If you feel like you are alone, it is how you know you're not. Know this. If you feel like you can't recover from where you've gone, it can be the shoulder you hold as you walk again. Know this.
I know I've been gone for a while, but there was a time you were a part of my daily life and I hopefully was a part of yours. I know, without a doubt you will grow from here, and be an even more amazing person than you were before and if my words have any meaning, that's saying something.
Sometimes I am concerned I cannot feel loved; this is certainly a symptom of my depression, but it can be very disturbing and emptying as it results in my inability to feel the strength of others' support. Nevertheless, the repetition of it does reinforce the knowledge that when I may not feel loved, I am wrong.
Hey guys, Sam here again. We've been pretty busy with everything, so while i have told him about what has happened on here, I have yet to print it, and as I sit here in his appt I am baffled that my brother, the family techy, apparently has no printer.
I just want it on record that I do have a printer, but it's in the closet because I have no good spot to put it at the moment. Also I have no ink for it.
Given recent events, I thought I might gaze 5 months backwards in time to the following forum thread:
I have no hope - Death preoccupies me
Perhaps there is something to be learned in there, something potentially useful for someone else's future.
--Patrick
Oh yeah.
The dork in me wonders how many Alerts you must have had pending.
Not many; 3 or 4, since my brother was logging onto my account once in a while.
Thanks for the update. Take your time and take it one day at a time.
What have you been reading?
Mainly Dostoyevsky (he is my favourite author): Netochka Nezvanova and The Adolescent, the latter of which I am about halfway through. I've also been reading The New Yorker and The Economist.
 
... At the risk of sounding snarklicious, is Russian literature REALLY what you'd like to be reading right now as you climb back from a serious depressive episode? *wry smile*

I'm glad that you're getting to a point where you can look at stuff analytically again... I know that when I have my troughs, I know I'm on the road to recovery when I can start thinking coldly, rather than emotionally again.

Keep plugging away, brother. And you know that just about each and every one of us would and will be willing to listen and talk, any time, any place.
 
... At the risk of sounding snarklicious, is Russian literature REALLY what you'd like to be reading right now as you climb back from a serious depressive episode? *wry smile*.
I know, right? I find it wonderful in its intensity, and Dostoevsky has this way of creating such passionate, real characters whose thoughts and actions can, to an eerie degree, mirror my own. In The Adolescent, a character kills himself, and the shock and emotional response of the narrator, as well as his reactions to the behaviour of those around him, is a weird perspective to recognise immediately after a suicide attempt. I wonder that it hasn't been good for me, though macabre. At all events, The Adolescent is not nearly so dark as Crime and Punishment or Demons, and is even sometimes very funny.
 
I know, right? I find it wonderful in its intensity, and Dostoevsky has this way of creating such passionate, real characters whose thoughts and actions can, to an eerie degree, mirror my own. In The Adolescent, a character kills himself, and the shock and emotional response of the narrator, as well as his reactions to the behaviour of those around him, is a weird perspective to recognise immediately after a suicide attempt. I wonder that it hasn't been good for me, though macabre. At all events, The Adolescent is not nearly so dark as Crime and Punishment or Demons, and is even sometimes very funny.
The First Law, mate.

Get it, live it.
 
This is not unlike me, in many ways. I am often very (too?) pragmatic, which has, on occasion, given some people the sense that I am cold-blooded, while I consider it more sang-froid.
"sang froid" is literally French for "cold blood."

I meant more that some people seem to think that the proper response to being glum or depressed is to lie to you "for your own good," or throw you an irrationally exuberant party to force your happiness/self-esteem up to some kind of minimum functional level, as if you have some kind of "happiness tank" that simply runs low and needs to be topped up from time to time. These are probably the same people who think that turning your thermostat up to 90 will warm your house up faster in Winter.

Personally, I do not suffer from chronic depression, I am merely chronically depressed, which is different. Therefore, I have no first-hand experience with your condition. I also know that people on this forum do not always present themselves as they actually are, which means that since I have not met you in person, I do not know which facets of your personality you choose to emphasize and which ones you suppress. Given the events, I can make some guesses, but in-person confirmation is difficult, and therefore unlikely.

Still, it is good to hear from you again, and I look forward to hearing more from you than the occasional goofy sentence.

--Patrick
 
Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. I'm still doing the Out of the Darkness Community Walk on Saturday which supports the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention which not only does research into suicide prevention and public awareness campaigns, but also funds advocacy for public policy and offers resources for survivors. So far I have raised $240! If you want to donate there is still plenty of time. The link to my fundraising page is in my signature or you can go here.

Thanks!
 
I am discharged, as of a few hours ago today, and will continue to receive treatments as an outpatient... Beyond that, I am feeling a lot better than I was two weeks ago. I have more to write/say but for now I'm going to do some much needed clean up around my apartment and water some neglected plants.
 
I am discharged, as of a few hours ago today, and will continue to receive treatments as an outpatient... Beyond that, I am feeling a lot better than I was two weeks ago. I have more to write/say but for now I'm going to do some much needed clean up around my apartment and water some neglected plants.
Glad to hear it!
 
I'm going to do some much needed clean up around my apartment and water some neglected plants.
There's nothing wrong with taking care of plants. I actually find it quite amazing when I bring them back when they were "droopy" for a while from my own neglect.

On that note, our indoor herb garden is actually growing things. Woot!
 

doomdragon6

Staff member
Today is World Suicide Prevention Day.
Seriously? That's the day another friend (IRL this time) OD'd and tried to, well, take an exit. He's fine now, supposedly, but they're keeping him a while.

Don't mean to derail, but it's related. His was a little more impulsive due to a girl, though, and less brought on by months of depression.
 
Seriously? That's the day another friend (IRL this time) OD'd and tried to, well, take an exit. He's fine now, supposedly, but they're keeping him a while.

Don't mean to derail, but it's related. His was a little more impulsive due to a girl, though, and less brought on by months of depression.
Yes, not only was today World Suicide Prevention Day, but this is actually suicide prevention week. I'm glad your friend is alive and will hopefully get help.
 
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