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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but could this meeting be an email maybe
You ever notice, for special occasions, ladies with curly hair straighten it, and ladies with straight hair curl it?
PatrThom
PatrThom
And well-endowed women minimize while slender women pad.
The best part of the cucumber tastes like the worst part of the watermelon.
PatrThom
PatrThom
But put them both on the belt in the checkout lane with a jar of Vaseline and see what kind of looks you get.
When the moon hits your knees and you mispronounce trees, sycamore~~~
PatrThom
PatrThom
When converting Poe's "Raven" to text-to-speech .WAV, "Nevermore~~~"
I used to sneak out of the house to go to parties. Now I sneak out of parties so I can go home.
[E\\..............F] <- Outta Gas
PatrThom
PatrThom
Eat more fiber!
It takes 45 muscles to frown, but only 10 to smile. So smiling is for the weak and lazy. Frown your way to fitness.
PatrThom
PatrThom
It only takes two muscles to close your eyes, though, and then you don't have to do either.
Few things are as gratifying as finally managing to grab that one stray ear hair with tweezers and no mirror.
PatrThom
PatrThom
Or even sans tweezers.
I don't need discord, I just need an audio file on loop "Hey Gas, I got a question.."
PatrThom
PatrThom
But it's only a QUICK question...
GasBandit
GasBandit
But a "legitimate" question!
Somewhere between Wonder Woman and "Sometimes you make me wonder, woman."
PatrThom
PatrThom
Where does "you make me feel like a natural woman" come in?
♫Holy♫Shitballs♫Holy♫Shitballs♫Holy♫Shitballs♫Holy♫Shitballs♫
PatrThom
PatrThom
It's still a little early for Christmas music.
If you're not in Discord, are you even really a Halforumite?
Cog
Cog
Do I need to say something there?
PatrThom
PatrThom
Yes.
My AMA disappeared into the mists of time. Maybe for the best :P
PatrThom
PatrThom
The world will never know.
I'd do an AMA, too, but I know it'd just be 30 questions about pork sausage.
I'm playing the game - the one that will take me to my end. I'm waiting for the rain, to wash who I am.
The mark of maturity is enjoying things you hated as a child. For example, spankings and naps.
PatrThom
PatrThom
And brussels sprouts. Mmm, tiny cabbages.
Every day is a struggle against the idea of putting chicken nuggets in the blender and calling it a protein shake. 17 days til solid food.
Well, here goes nothing.
PatrThom
PatrThom
Here’s hoping nothing untoward happens.
Bricks are domesticated rocks.
PatrThom
PatrThom
Bricks are dirt and/or clay that we have remade in rocks' image.
When the PC Master Race curses you: "May your ping time match your frames per second."
PatrThom
PatrThom
"May your GPU temp match your FPS in °C."
The boss just banned overly-specific nicknames, and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian the Good Time Ruiner.
PatrThom
PatrThom
Yeah, leave Brian’s good name out of it.
Marriage must be especially awful for a bisexual. There's TWICE as many people you can't have sex with!
PatrThom
PatrThom
What happens if you marry an asexual?
I don’t always use UTF-8, but when I do, I parse it as ASCII.
PatrThom
PatrThom
At least it’s not Zalgo.
Soon To Be Retired Cheesehead.
PatrThom
PatrThom
Soon to have far too much free time Cheesehead. Maybe now you can write that book you've always wanted to?
If there is a universal constant, it might be that no man of any age ever wants to consider the thought that he may have had his last BJ.
Yogurt is just spoiled milk pretending to be pudding.
blotsfan
blotsfan
Greek yogurt is delicious and can work as a great, healthier substitute for cheese in many places. Fight me.
PatrThom
PatrThom
At least it's not kefir.
If animals didn't want to be eaten, why are they made out of food.
PatrThom
PatrThom
Because making out of the food food eats would also make them much, much slower.
It annoys me that the lowest magnitude numbered street in my town is 15th street. Doesn't that really make 15th street... 1st street?
PatrThom
PatrThom
No, it means they could only come up with 14 clever street names.
Whose IQ is higher, a Hanzo Main, or a Rick and Morty fan?
PatrThom
PatrThom
Statistically? I'm guessing the R&M fan. Just remember that IQ is only a measure of INT, not WIS.
Being a solid 3.5 with a thing for 10s is rough.
PatrThom
PatrThom
Just find one 10 and then go into it almost 3 whole times.
Karma means I can do bad things to people all day long and rest easy in the knowledge they deserve it.
Dysthymia, datthymia, what difference does it make?
PatrThom
PatrThom
About 3 points in Scrabble.
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