[News] The ULTIMATE Tinfoil hat conspiracy!

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It seems that wearing a tinfoil hat actually might make it easier for Them to control your mind.

NOW YOU MIGHT HAVE TO WEAR A TINFOIL HAT TO PROTECT YOUR TINFOIL HAT ZOMG

--Patrick
 
A few years back I went to a Halloween Party wearing a tinfoil hat... nobody recognized it.

Some black guys that showed up and made some crack about it being a KKK hat... because it was "all white, and pointy, and shit."
 
It seems that wearing a tinfoil hat actually might make it easier for Them to control your mind.

NOW YOU MIGHT HAVE TO WEAR A TINFOIL HAT TO PROTECT YOUR TINFOIL HAT ZOMG

--Patrick
No no no... come on, think about it. If one tinfoil hat will amplify the effect, then two tinfoil hats will only quadruple the effect of the amplification. What you need is a mercury-foil hat for your tin-foil hat; not only will that cancel the amplification effect, but it will reverse the polarity of the signal from the cell phone towers and allow you to control the government's propaganda machine. You just have to perfect the making of mercury foil, and everyone who tries is tracked down and assassinated by the government's secret police. They want you to believe that it's because mercury fumes are toxic... but they can't fool me, I know the truth.
 
No no no... come on, think about it. If one tinfoil hat will amplify the effect, then two tinfoil hats will only quadruple the effect of the amplification. What you need is a mercury-foil hat for your tin-foil hat; not only will that cancel the amplification effect, but it will reverse the polarity of the signal from the cell phone towers and allow you to control the government's propaganda machine. You just have to perfect the making of mercury foil, and everyone who tries is tracked down and assassinated by the government's secret police. They want you to believe that it's because mercury fumes are toxic... but they can't fool me, I know the truth.
Don't listen to this guy, he's obviously a plant from the CIA. Mercury is government nanobots mixed with water, that's why it's metallic while still being liquid. If you even go near it, you'll breathe in the nanobots, and then you'll have to kill the bots by consuming large amounts of alcohol (electronics don't work very well when immersed in scotch, I've tested this).
 
HA! Silly paranoid space peoples. Now excuse me as I go throw away....not tin-foil that have touched my head. Yeah, that's the ticket.
 
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