GasBandit

Staff member
Somebody brought donuts.

I couldn't help myself.

I ate one.

This will be the first solid food I've had in 13 days, a full 16 days ahead of when I'm supposed to be able to start phasing in solid food.

Let's see if it stays down.

I'm kinda scared.

My stomach is gurgling and hurts a little.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Well, 30 minutes and some toxic burps later... I think I got this tamped down.

Makes me think maybe I should get some smoked ham or something and see if THAT stays down. No point in tormenting myself for 2 more weeks if I don't have to.
 
Well, have fun wasting your surgery if you can't even follow instructions for a month. :/
My wife had the surgery. She knows people who had it and are like "but I can eat mashed potatoes or ice cream because it just slides right through the pouch." And she rolls her eyes.

Why spend 16-20 grand (which is about what we spent after insurance) if you're going to cheat? Save yourself the 20 grand, buy a banana split, say "fuck it" and spend the other 19,980 dollars on a new car ;)
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Well, have fun wasting your surgery if you can't even follow instructions for a month. :/
Ok, first of all, I'm talking about smoked ham, which is on my list of things I'm allowed to eat (in two weeks). Just talking about starting on it a little earlier here.

I'm not planning on making donuts a habit :p

My wife had the surgery. She knows people who had it and are like "but I can eat mashed potatoes or ice cream because it just slides right through the pouch." And she rolls her eyes.

Why spend 16-20 grand (which is about what we spent after insurance) if you're going to cheat? Save yourself the 20 grand, buy a banana split, say "fuck it" and spend the other 19,980 dollars on a new car ;)
I'M TALKING ABOUT HAM. IT'S LOW FAT AND LOW CALORIE! Aaggh!

Also, you got ripped off. I paid cash (no insurance) and the whole mess came in just under $15k. That includes continuing access to the dietician and the hospital's rehab center (with pool, weights, etc), and all my followup visits.
 
Ok, first of all, I'm talking about smoked ham, which is on my list of things I'm allowed to eat (in two weeks). Just talking about starting on it a little earlier here.

I'm not planning on making donuts a habit :p


I'M TALKING ABOUT HAM. IT'S LOW FAT AND LOW CALORIE! Aaggh!

Also, you got ripped off. I paid cash (no insurance) and the whole mess came in just under $15k. That includes continuing access to the dietician and the hospital's rehab center (with pool, weights, etc), and all my followup visits.
You
Need
To
Let
Your
Stomach
Heal
Dumbass
 
I know it sucks. If you need us to hire someone to slap food out of your hand, that can be arranged. Might be able to find someone to do it for free...[DOUBLEPOST=1516126394,1516126342][/DOUBLEPOST]
You
Need
To
Let
Your
Stomach
Heal
Dumbass
Is anyone else disappointed the first letters don't spell something?
 
My wife had the surgery. She knows people who had it and are like "but I can eat mashed potatoes or ice cream because it just slides right through the pouch." And she rolls her eyes.

Why spend 16-20 grand (which is about what we spent after insurance) if you're going to cheat? Save yourself the 20 grand, buy a banana split, say "fuck it" and spend the other 19,980 dollars on a new car ;)
Tell me more about this $20 USD banana split.
 

Dave

Staff member
I completely forgot I wrote the script for this.

I...uh...thought you were being facetious. You really DID write that! I have to watch it again! (Even though I don't watch wrestling and only have a peripheral idea of who most of those people are [yes, I know them from other things, but not wrestling])
 
I'M TALKING ABOUT HAM. IT'S LOW FAT AND LOW CALORIE! Aaggh!

Also, you got ripped off. I paid cash (no insurance) and the whole mess came in just under $15k. That includes continuing access to the dietician and the hospital's rehab center (with pool, weights, etc), and all my followup visits.
I didn't get ripped off. I just choose a higher-paid guy to do her surgery. Since I was paying for it, and I wanted to make sure my wife had the best care I could afford, I paid a little more for one of the country's leading "centers of excellence" to have it done. We have all the followup visits and stuff as part of the package too :)

As for the banana split, I'm giving you a hard time, mostly. But I will say this: I don't remember if you got the full gastric bypass, or one of the less invasive procedures. My wife had the full gastric. And when she tried to eat stuff too soon, it invariably would end up with her spending several hours in pain, heaving, tearing her stomach, and throwing up blood. So me giving you a hard time comes from a place of love. I'll save you from that particular life lesson, if possible.[DOUBLEPOST=1516128291,1516128160][/DOUBLEPOST]
Tell me more about this $20 USD banana split.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I didn't get ripped off. I just choose a higher-paid guy to do her surgery. Since I was paying for it, I had extra incentive to pay a little more for one of the country's leading "centers of excellence" to have it done. We have all the followup visits and stuff as part of the package too :)

As for the banana split, I'm giving you a hard time, mostly. But I will say this: I don't remember if you got the full gastric bypass, or one of the less invasive procedure. My wife had the full gastric. And when she tried to eat stuff too soon, it invariably would end up with her spending several hours in pain, heaving, tearing her stomach, and throwing up blood. So me giving you a hard time comes from a place of love. I'll save you from that particular life lesson, if possible.
I got the sleeve gastrectomy, so I still have a tiny little 6 ounce stomach, it's just there's a line of staples where the rest of it used to be. Apart from literally only being able to stomach 3-4 bites of anything at any given meal, my gastric processes are (or will be) the same as they were pre-surgery.

But the diminished portions will make me prioritize protein ahead of all other nutrients, and multivitamins will be there to pick up the slack on the other stuff.
 
Last word of warning then. Most gastric bypasses fail. And they fail between the 1 and 2 year mark.

And the number one reason they fail is because the participants aren't 100% committed to the lifestyle change. The stomach/pouch will grow. You'll be able to eat larger and larger portions. Eventually, you'll be able to eat full meals again. If you haven't committed to the whole eating differently/lifestyle change by then, you'll be right back where you started. So, that's part of why I also mentioned the mashed potato and ice cream story. If you start looking for ways to cheat the system (and I'm not saying the ham, which is on your list, is cheating), you're setting yourself up for failure.

My wife is pretty committed. It's been like 5 years now, I guess, and she's at a size 4 maintaining.
 
Last word of warning then. Most gastric bypasses fail. And they fail between the 1 and 2 year mark.

And the number one reason they fail is because the participants aren't 100% committed to the lifestyle change. The stomach/pouch will grow. You'll be able to eat larger and larger portions. Eventually, you'll be able to eat full meals again. If you haven't committed to the whole eating differently/lifestyle change by then, you'll be right back where you started. So, that's part of why I also mentioned the mashed potato and ice cream story. If you start looking for ways to cheat the system (and I'm not saying the ham, which is on your list, is cheating), you're setting yourself up for failure.

My wife is pretty committed. It's been like 5 years now, I guess, and she's at a size 4 maintaining.
I'd consider not being able to even wait to eat solid food until you're safely allowed to is already showing signs of willingness to cheat.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I'd consider not being able to even wait to eat solid food until you're safely allowed to is already showing signs of willingness to cheat.
Ok, but you try eating under 200 calories a day, none of it solid, for 2 weeks, and tell me about your iron will.
 
Ok, but you try eating under 200 calories a day, none of it solid, for 2 weeks, and tell me about your iron will.
I'm not the one who willingly decided to get surgery to lose weight, you are. So follow through. I had several relatives get that surgery, and none of them managed to keep the weight off long term.
 
And yet the quality of those thoughts has degraded considerably.
I disagree. Thoughts have no better or worse quality, it's just easier for low-quality ones to be seen by a lot more people than it used to be. So total number of PUBLIC thoughts has increased, with a higher proportion than before being bad, but previously more of the bad thoughts were filtered out by the high cost of publication. Now it's cheap to "publish" (twitter, blogs, etc), so we're seeing more of the crap that needed money to get out before.
 
Well, have fun wasting your surgery if you can't even follow instructions for a month. :/
Ok, but you try eating under 200 calories a day, none of it solid, for 2 weeks, and tell me about your iron will.
To be cruelly fair, if you are a person who can offhandedly restrict your diet to < 200cal/day for a couple weeks at a time, then you are also probably someone who doesn’t need the surgery in the first place.

—Patrick
 

GasBandit

Staff member
To be cruelly fair, if you are a person who can offhandedly restrict your diet to < 200cal/day for a couple weeks at a time, then you are also probably someone who doesn’t need the surgery in the first place.

—Patrick
I think that today has been evidence that it is ludicrous to expect me, or anyone else for that matter, to keep that shit up indefinitely.

But to be perfectly open about it, the first 5 or so days of that 2 weeks were zero calories, and not by choice. I simply couldn't handle anything besides water. After that, even just drinking protein shake, I couldn't handle more than a mouthful or two at a time, and then needed hours to process it before I tried for more nutrition.

So, it's not exactly like the low calorie intake was by choice.

But the 800 calorie diet leading up to the surgery? Yeah, I did that for 5 weeks and lemme tell you, if I didn't have a surgery date as a goal, I would not have lasted a year doing that, either.

I've done the liquid diet before. I lost 75 pounds on it. It was great. 3 years later, I started putting weight back on again, and got heavier than I ever was. This time, I'm trying for something more permanent.
 
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