The My Kid is Hilarious Thread

[infamousalix]

This thread is for sharing the funniest (and sometimes weirdest) things that your kids do. Or even that you did as a kid [DOUBLEPOST=1440369264,1440369055][/DOUBLEPOST]So me and Nick are chilling on the couch at his place, and Danny comes in with this toy stroller that is just filled with everything. Stuffed animals, a rag, a football, a bouncy ball, Just everything.
He takes the rag and goes over to Nick, reaching for his crotch, and starts to use the rag to wipe at it.
Nick and I both kinda stare at him and at each other trying to figure out what my crazy kid is doing when it dawns on me and I burst out laughing.
Nick looks at me and I say through my tears, "He's wiping your crotch because that's what we do when we change his bum!"
We both lose it and then Danny comes over to me, starts wiping at my stomach, then his own bum and then eventually toddles off, leaving us there in tears.
My kid is so weird sometimes

 

[Ravenpoe]

 

[Cog]

 

[PatrThom]

Not mine buuuuuuuut...belongs here.

(edited to fix dead link)

--Patrick

 

[WasabiPoptart]

We're sitting at dinner talking about gross foods and An Unexpected Journey came up. Particularly the scene where Bilbo and the dwarves are all captured by the trolls. Bilbo tells the trolls that the dwarves, who are wrapped up in burlap bags, have parasites and the trolls can't eat them. Noah innocently says, "Yeah they were all denying it until Thorin kicked someone in the sack." I tried so hard not to laugh, but couldn't stop.

 

[General Specific]

So this is my nephew trying on his halloween costume.

According to his mom (my sister), when he saw himself in the mirror, he gave a little grin and growled.

 

[Dave]

My kids are too old to post here.

 

[strawman]

My kids are too old to post here.

Pft. You're never too old to make fun of your kids, and your kids are never too old to make you laugh.

 

[Celt Z]

My kids are too old to post here.

Your kids DO post here!




(Or one of them did, a while back.)[DOUBLEPOST=1443464026,1443463637][/DOUBLEPOST]This will only make sense if you've seen Steven Universe: Two weekends ago we were at the NY Ren Faire and I was waiting in line to get some drinks from one of the refreshment booths. Once I reached the counter, Li'l Z comes running up beside me and before I could order, he starts beating his fists on the counter (which he could barely reach) and chants "The bits! The bits!".

 

[Cajungal]

My niece's hero is Malala Yousafzai. She did a project about her in school and has read books and articles about her. The thing about my niece is... she expresses her love of things through theatre. So one afternoon, we're all hanging out a mom and dad's having coffee and chatting. In runs my niece dressed up like Malala (she kind of draped herself in different pieces of fabric from the dress-up trunk). My other niece, a toddler, charges in wearing a black robe and brandishing a Nerf gun screaming, "I WILL SHOOT YOU, MALALA! YOU MAY NOT GO TO SCHOOL! YOU MAY NOT READ ANY BOOKS!"


....so, that's fun.

 

[WasabiPoptart]

@Cajungal I feel bad for laughing.

 

[Cajungal]

@Cajungal I feel bad for laughing.

Yeah, me too... but I couldn't help it. Out of the mouth of babes, I guess.

 

[Celt Z]

Yeah, me too... but I couldn't help it. Our of the mouth of babes, I guess.

Didn't you tell the story (although I may be getting my Halforumites mixed up) about the bird taking off with your niece's pet bunny? Because you're batting .1000 at making me laugh at kids when I shouldn't be.

 

[Cajungal]

Didn't you tell the story (although I may be getting my Halforumites mixed up) about the bird taking off with your niece's pet bunny? Because you're batting .1000 at making me laugh at kids when I shouldn't be.

Yes! That was a family friend's kid. A huge hawk snagged his rabbit the second they let it outside.

 

[Celt Z]

Yes! That was a family friend's kid. A huge hawk snagged his rabbit the second they let it outside.

It wasn't the snagging (that made me sad) it was the end cap of "Mr. Fluffypants!" (Or whatever his name was) and your description of the kid standing there waiting that got me.

 

[Cajungal]

It wasn't the snagging (that made me sad) it was the end cap of "Mr. Fluffypants!" (Or whatever his name was) and your description of the kid standing there waiting that got me.

COME BACK, MISTER CARROTS!!!

 

[General Specific]

COME BACK, MISTER CARROTS!!!

As a fellow bunny owner, I do not find this funny. It is also why Panda stays inside.

 

[Cajungal]

As a fellow bunny owner, I do not find this funny. It is also why Panda stays inside.

Hawks gotta eat too.

 

[GasBandit]

Hawks gotta eat too.

You guys remember when Terrik fed live animals to that Siberian Tiger?

 

[CrimsonSoul]

You guys remember when Terrik fed live animals to that Siberian Tiger?

Tigers gotta eat too.

Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk

 

[CrimsonSoul]

When my youngest was a little younger my wife was cooking and my youngest said "mommies is the food in the oven ripe yet?"

Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk

 

[Jay]

Fell asleep like this

 

[PatrThom]

So this is my nephew trying on his halloween costume.

View attachment 19241

According to his mom (my sister), when he saw himself in the mirror, he gave a little grin and growled.

(Been putting off replying to your post for too long)
Hey! Our kid has a tiger suit, too! (these pictures are actually from last year)

He likes wearing it around the house when it's cold, when he's feeling blue, or whenever he is watching Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood.
Also, he is a very perceptive child.

(This picture is from THIS year)
...we did not teach him that. He learned it watching our cats.

--Patrick

 

[WasabiPoptart]

Lily had the word "how" as one of her spelling words this week. One assignment was to write her words three times. So Aussie and I inevitably told the kids about ZZTop and played LaGrange for the how how how.

Both kids said it reminds them of villagers talking in Minecraft.

 

[PatrThom]

Both kids said it reminds them of villagers talking in Minecraft.

I now want to see an animated GIF of three villagers doing "Sharp-Dressed Man" or something.

--Patrick

 

[Squidleybits]

My son told me that I look like I had been murdered but didn't die.

Thanks?

 

[PatrThom]

I keep having amusing moments, but not posting them, mainly because this thread got buried.
...NO MORE

Here's a conversation I had with my wife just yesterday via text:

--Patrick