[Comics] The "Let's Bitch about Comics thread!"

Where we rant about the idiocy that comes with modern comics!

FOR INSTANCE-Superman is so bad they had to bring in a version from an alternate universe to pick up the slack....and then replace him with a new guy. JUST WRITE HIM BETTER YOU MOOKS!
 
I just want some fun ass comics again. Give me a batman story where he solves a normal mystery and maybe beats a few goons up. I don't need a new earth shattering thing to happen to him where things will never be the same except for when we undo it in like a year.

I want to see a super powered person fight like a giant robot and the drama comes from the question of if he'll save the city in time. I don't want to see a powered individual fight a giant robot and the drama comes from watching his son get decapitated or whatever grim ass shit comics are all about these days.

Did Ms. marvel stay fun? I swear to christ if Kamala is not as fun loving as she was at the start imma have to slap some folk.
 
Did Ms. marvel stay fun? I swear to christ if Kamala is not as fun loving as she was at the start imma have to slap some folk.
I really hope so. I just ordered the first trade for that since it looked like a fun comic, so it'll be a while before I get caught up. But I saw promotional art of Ms. Marvel ripping apart a picture of Captain Marvel for her Civil War II cover, so I'm a little worried. But maybe it's just a cover and the comic won't get wrapped up in this shit?

I hate these summer events. Who knows what will get rebooted by the end of the year this time.
 
I really hope so. I just ordered the first trade for that since it looked like a fun comic, so it'll be a while before I get caught up. But I saw promotional art of Ms. Marvel ripping apart a picture of Captain Marvel for her Civil War II cover, so I'm a little worried. But maybe it's just a cover and the comic won't get wrapped up in this shit?

I hate these summer events. Who knows what will get rebooted by the end of the year this time.
UGH-I've only read one issue of Ms.Marvel, and that's enough to know that that pisses me off.
 
And Captain's Marvel's variant cover for Civil War II is her crushing Iron Man's helmet. This is just six issues into the new run. Barely had time to establish itself and already, interrupted by summer event.

Also, Civil War II sounds really stupid.
 
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I just want some fun ass comics again. Give me a batman story where he solves a normal mystery and maybe beats a few goons up. I don't need a new earth shattering thing to happen to him where things will never be the same except for when we undo it in like a year.
I should loan you all the late 80's early 90's Batman comics that I had. It was almost all street level crime. And for half that time he did not have a Robin.
 
Yearly mega crossovers drove me away from Marvel. The only Marvel stuff I've read lately is Star Wars. Image is my boss.
 
And Captain's Marvel's variant cover for Civil War II is her crushing Iron Man's helmet. This is just six issues into the new run. Barely had time to establish itself and already, interrupted by summer event.

Also, Civil War II sounds really stupid.
Its the sequel to the original Civil War, it kind-of has to. This ain't the fun Marvel version with a plot that makes SENSE, this comics!

SO-anyone know what stupid reason Marvel heroes are fighting for this time?
 
Its the sequel to the original Civil War, it kind-of has to. This ain't the fun Marvel version with a plot that makes SENSE, this comics!

SO-anyone know what stupid reason Marvel heroes are fighting for this time?
Comic sales are down while the movies are printing money, that's why.
 
Its the sequel to the original Civil War, it kind-of has to. This ain't the fun Marvel version with a plot that makes SENSE, this comics!

SO-anyone know what stupid reason Marvel heroes are fighting for this time?
A new hero appears who can see the future, and the Marvel heroes are split between whether someone should be arrested for a crime they're committing/have committed or whether they should turn into Minority Report. Very specifically, this new character sees that a specific superhero will cause a great disaster in three days, and Marvel management says the kickoff to this story will be one of the superheroes becoming a murderer. Originally they toyed with the idea of Spider-man being the cause of the trouble, but they've leaned away from that and are keeping the character's identity a secret.

It sounds dumb. This sounds like the kind of thing a villain would do to pit the heroes against each other.

On top of that are the faction divisions. Iron Man is leading the "innocent until proven guilty" group, joining with Captain America (Sam--is Steve still dead in the comics? Because it's been a few years now and that seems unlike them) and the Guardians of the Galaxy (solely because they're popular now), which is opposite how Tony Stark was for the first Civil War, but that was a character deviation. Leading the Pre-Crime Bureau is Captain Marvel. I don't know enough about her to know if this is in-character or not, but I know it's bizarre that Spider-man and She-Hulk are behind her. She-Hulk is a friggin defense attorney; it makes no sense. It's like they lumped her in there just because she and Captain Marvel do A-Force together.

Let's say I get caught up on Ms. Marvel; I wonder how fucking "middle of the story" it's going to feel when I get to this summer's issues. I've stayed away from these big event crossovers, so I don't know if they expect everyone to buy all the books, or if each book is just telling parts of the story from the perspective of its character and will carry on its way once the shitstorm ends.
 
I can get behind the idea. I mean if they have the chance to stop a crime before it happens I could see certain heroes in favor of that. Punisher, for sure. Maybe Daredevil if it means getting them help before they make a mistake etc. Hell, you could sell it easily.

The problem is going to be like in the last civil war in that those running it are going to go too far and arrest a hero for failing to use his turn signals or something. Or punisher gets his hands on this and starts pre-killing people.

Ok I just sold myself on this.
 
I can get behind the idea. I mean if they have the chance to stop a crime before it happens I could see certain heroes in favor of that. Punisher, for sure. Maybe Daredevil if it means getting them help before they make a mistake etc. Hell, you could sell it easily.

The problem is going to be like in the last civil war in that those running it are going to go too far and arrest a hero for failing to use his turn signals or something. Or punisher gets his hands on this and starts pre-killing people.

Ok I just sold myself on this.
You have more faith in it than I do. I understand the Marvel powers that be really do want to tell a good story, just from reading their comments, but they're also forcing this shit around to make use of what's hot right now.
 
Iron Man is leading the "innocent until proven guilty" group, joining with Captain America (Sam--is Steve still dead in the comics?
Steve Rogers is old, currently, in the comics, that is changing in the next month or so, but Falcon will continue as Cap with Steve donning a different alias. Rogers is actually the person behind getting Deadpool into one of the Avengers teams too.
 
Let's just hope if he goes "Nomad" again, he ditches the stupid fucking cape that was stupid.
 
Its sad knowing the original draft for that story was actually pretty good I hear. CURSE YOU NINETIES MARVEL...and current Marvel.
 
They used the OMG THIS MUTANT IS TOO POWERFUL thing a couple years back for Avengers v X-Men, too. Girl with powers greater than even Jean Grey shows up and I think the Phoenix decides he needs in on that. Avengers wanted her in custody, Cyclops and the other Mutants say "nothx."
 
I have the first issue of his comic somewhere around here. He actually came back in (I think) the new Deadpool series.
[EDIT: ok something is eating my text before it gets posted, this is the second time]

I have the entire miniseries. I know he has shown up in a handful of other comics, but I still want to see something done with him with a feeling like 50's era Plastic Man, or maybe Howard the Duck.

--Patrick
 
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One Google Search on Slapstick Deadpool later

Oh...oh god they Cerebus Syndromed Slapstick, they Syndromed him HARD!
 
I am very confused why the...lack of genitals in his Slapstick form is a problem. Can't he change back? I read he could change back.
 
I am very confused why the...lack of genitals in his Slapstick form is a problem. Can't he change back? I read he could change back.
According to the wiki, he lost the ability to change back (like She-Hulk did), or at least he says he did (who really knows).
But the idea of making him into a grimdark character just runs counter to his entire character. I mean, there's a reason The Magnificent Seven starred people like Yul Brenner, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, etc. Turning Slapstick into a gritdank character would be like casting Magnificent Seven with Laurel & Hardy, Abbott and Costello, and the Three Stooges. It's just not right! And don't anyone say, "I'd go see it," because you wouldn't. You'd hate that movie just as much as if you went to see everyone's favorite lovable tramp, Charlie Chaplin, cast in a Batman movie. No.

--Patrick
 
Cerebus syndrome at its very worst. ALSO...couldn't he get the glove fixed? Is Reed Richards still a thing? Get him to fix it.
 
Did She Hulk lose the ability to change back? I had thought she could, but never wanted to because she wasn't famous/popular/etc as Jennifer.
 
Why do I get the feeling this was all an elaborate set-up so they didn't have to draw them in different forms?
 
According to the wiki, he lost the ability to change back (like She-Hulk did), or at least he says he did (who really knows).
But the idea of making him into a grimdark character just runs counter to his entire character. I mean, there's a reason The Magnificent Seven starred people like Yul Brenner, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, etc. Turning Slapstick into a gritdank character would be like casting Magnificent Seven with Laurel & Hardy, Abbott and Costello, and the Three Stooges. It's just not right! And don't anyone say, "I'd go see it," because you wouldn't. You'd hate that movie just as much as if you went to see everyone's favorite lovable tramp, Charlie Chaplin, cast in a Batman movie. No.

--Patrick
Wouldn't The Magnificent Seven but as a Comedy basically be The Three Amigos? Which is actually a very charming, very funny western?
 
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