Sooooo.... there's this girl at work and I have a dilemma

Reactions
348 67 0
#38
If nothing else, kudos to OP for not coming back with defensive rationalizations on why everyone else is totally wrong and don't understand.
 
Reactions
196 78 0
#39
As someone who spent much of his twenties making terrible romantic decisions (even against advice) I've become adept at detecting bad ideas. This is a bad idea.

If she weren't a coworker, I'd suggest taking a leap. The age gap isn't really an issue, and even the disparity in life experience isn't a deal-breaker. But this has high potential for getting too complicated and risky. The fact is you wield a lot of power over her so the relationship would have a significant imbalance. You might not even think about using your seniority at work to coerce her into a relationship, but she might see it that way. Worse yet, HR might also see it that way.

 
Reactions
2,051 605 23
#41
If nothing else, kudos to OP for not coming back with defensive rationalizations on why everyone else is totally wrong and don't understand.
I kinda feel bad for OP because the majority of the posts are "it's gonna FAIL/don't FAIL/ this is a FAILure/FAIL/FAILFAILFAIL" and that's gotta hurt the heart.

--Patrick
 
Reactions
1,084 226 5
#42
I kinda feel bad for OP because the majority of the posts are "it's gonna FAIL/don't FAIL/ this is a FAILure/FAIL/FAILFAILFAIL" and that's gotta hurt the heart.

--Patrick
True, but you know what helps recover from that? Not being broke and destitute.
 
Reactions
2,051 605 23
#43
True, but you know what helps recover from that? Not being broke and destitute.
There have been many lessons in life that were unpleasant/painful/regretful for me to learn, no matter how useful and/or correct.

--Patrick
 
Last edited:
Reactions
1,305 308 0
#44
If nothing else, kudos to OP for not coming back with defensive rationalizations on why everyone else is totally wrong and don't understand.
Oh man, that reminds me of...shoot, I've drawn a blank, but he made two or three threads looking for advice and it turned into this huge drama because he turned down every piece of advice and became INCREDIBLY defensive. I remember trying to reason with him multiple times but he wouldn't have any of it.
 
Reactions
1,084 226 5
#45
Oh man, that reminds me of...shoot, I've drawn a blank, but he made two or three threads looking for advice and it turned into this huge drama because he turned down every piece of advice and became INCREDIBLY defensive. I remember trying to reason with him multiple times but he wouldn't have any of it.
THERAPY!
 
Reactions
348 67 0
#46
Oh man, that reminds me of...shoot, I've drawn a blank, but he made two or three threads looking for advice and it turned into this huge drama because he turned down every piece of advice and became INCREDIBLY defensive. I remember trying to reason with him multiple times but he wouldn't have any of it.
Norris, I presume
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Reactions
6,565 1,361 27
#47
Oh man, that reminds me of...shoot, I've drawn a blank, but he made two or three threads looking for advice and it turned into this huge drama because he turned down every piece of advice and became INCREDIBLY defensive. I remember trying to reason with him multiple times but he wouldn't have any of it.
I wanna say... Doomdragon? But I might be wrong.

Norris, I presume
Or maybe that.
 
Reactions
1,305 308 0
#53
Aw, the Norris threads are M.I.A. Must've gotten lost somewhere along the line. I remember one had a title about getting signals from a girl or something.
 

Dave

Staff member
Reactions
1,932 867 14
#54
I can still see his stuff in the database, but it's hard to find the thread they are associated with since they are numbers and not descriptive.
 

Dave

Staff member
Reactions
1,932 867 14
#55
If you do a search and have Norris as the Member but leave the search blank. You get like 10 pages of stuff.
 
Reactions
1,257 314 2
#56
Sadly, I didn't see the thread with the Asian girl coming for...advice?ranting? about interacial relationships. Norris and Doomdragon were their own thing, but that thread was a riot!
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Reactions
6,565 1,361 27
#57
Sadly, I didn't see the thread with the Asian girl coming for...advice?ranting? about interacial relationships. Norris and Doomdragon were their own thing, but that thread was a riot!
Ah yes, Naiwen. Her threads languish in General to this day. It seems moving stuff to the hall of shame fell out of vogue somewhere in 2012.
 
Reactions
1,305 308 0
#62
Ho-lee shit. I just finished re-reading the thread. Or skimming, really. Man, that was a pitch perfect dumpster fire.
 
Reactions
2,051 605 23
#63
Man I don't remember any of the things I read myself posting 5+ years ago.
I do (sometimes).

What I find more surprising is that this happened 2 years before I moved to work in that very city.
I could be running into @Norris every day now and not even know it.

--Patrick
 
Last edited:
A

Anonymous

Anonymous

#66
Just for the record:
I haven't gone away, I've been trying to be very thoughtful.
All the points in this thread, they are without question obvious and well founded. They were what I wrestled with before I even made the thread. In part, maybe I made it because I needed to hear it from others to confirm myself. Or maybe I was hoping someone would say different.
@PatrThom 's advice might be the most relevant because, aside from the age difference, He has seen first hand the "forbidden work romance".
But still all of it is true, and has it's points.
The age thing, that's probably a thing.
The work thing, that's definitely a thing.
 
Reactions
2,051 605 23
#67
@PatrThom 's advice might be the most relevant because, aside from the age difference, He has seen first hand the "forbidden work romance".
Learn from my mistakes!
Also I've seen it third-hand (where other coworkers of mine decided to date one another). Most of them got fired upon discovery.
So yeah, "inconvenient" is putting it pretty mildly.

--Patrick
 
Reactions
149 64 0
#68
Aside: Just reread that Norris thread and can I just say I'm so proud of halforums for calling out the friend zone for the bullshit it is years before a large majority of people were doing it?

That was pretty cool of ya'll.

Also, I forgot I was active in that thread. I think I may need to reread Feeling Good and reabsorb it.
 
Reactions
199 21 0
#69
I just got some 7-year old likes from that thread.

Also I think our advice has matured from that thread, too.

GROWING UP
 
Top