Life and changes

I’m sorry to be posting so much about this, everything is just going so well and so quickly. I’m afraid there will be a comeuppance soon.

I came out to one person at work. A friend and supervisor. She is going to be getting the ball rolling for me with the rest of management and doesn’t see any issues.

incidentally, I will not be the first trans person on the IT team either.

Also, I found a hairstyle I like that sort of fits me right now.

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It’s very easy, so I can do it myself and it keeps my hair out of my face. Again, sorry to keepspamming about myself, I’ve just been so happy recently. :D
 
More picture time!

Dill and I went to Ulta Beauty today for a makeover and we ran a bit long and didn’t get to finish before they closed. Dill finished the look at home with what we had. So here are my first unfiltered pics and also the first time FaceApp wanted to turn me masculine when running a picture through the gender filter!
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I’d be lying if I said I agree. I’m very nervous, especially with the area I live in. Those pictures were taken at home after we got back and my spouse was making me laugh by having me say funny things instead of “cheese” in order to get a more genuine smile out of me.

I still feel very much like a big, clumsy man stomping around in a skirt. I know that it will just take time, this is all new.

BUT, just so this is not all doom and gloom, I have my first appointment to get HRT on Thursday. This will likely just be an initial blood draw so they can gauge my hormone levels and what they need to do to counteract those.
 
I still feel very much like a big, clumsy man stomping around in a skirt. I know that it will just take time, this is all new.
I'm going to be blunt here, but to be clear, I don't mean this in any way as a negative or an insult, quite the contrary. So, you know, take from it what you will.
As a regular old cishet whathaveyou guy, I represent the typical Male Gaze. Now, while you don't ooze feminine sensuality like, errr, I dunno, insert-your-example-of-a-very-feminine-looking-celeb-I-guess, in those pictures, you absolutely scan as a woman. If I crossed you in the street, I wouldn't turn my head to stare at your ass perhaps, but I wouldn't give you a second glance - you'd just be "some woman I passed in the street'. Also, I think you look better and more like a normal human being in these last pictures or the ones after the beauty parlor, than you do in the FaceApp filter pictures. That may be my personal preference at work, though, I just generally don't like the airbrushed look that app tends to try and give everyone.

So, you know, I really don't think you're ugly, just fairly average-ish (though I don't remember how old you are, if you're over 35 you look great!) for a woman. But definitely woman.
I'm aware that's what we call in Dutch "throwing someone flowers with the pot still attached", sorry :oops: but I figured you'd appreciate true honesty more than just a generic "no guurrrlll you look amazing 10/10 fabulous OMG wow so hot" where your own mind can tell you I'm saying it "just to make you feel better but doesn't really mean it".
 
I'll be 42 in July, so thank you.

And yes, I prefer honesty over platitudes. I don't fault anyone for liking or not liking anything. I appreciate your words as you intended them, @Bubble181

That is an interesting phrase as well. I get the meaning and I'm not sure we have an analog in the US. Maybe calling something a "backhanded compliment" is close, but has kind of the reverse implication. Saying, "Well, at least you're not ugly." could be construed that way (and again, I am not reading your words as such).

In "The South" we also have the phrase "Bless [his/her/their] heart!" as a way of nullifying insults. It sort of means that what we just said was true, but not meant maliciously. As in, "He's as dumb as a box of hammers, bless his heart!" This is usually employed by kindly older ladies.
 
Yeah, Bubble captured my thoughts perfectly as well. You definitely pass as a woman to me. You also look... at peace, if that makes sense. Comfortable.

Also, we have a similar expression in French (at least in Quebec), where we'll say "merci pour les fleurs, j'attends le pot" (literally "thanks for the flowers,now where'sthe pot"?). The closest thing I can think of in English would be the old "compliment sandwich" approach to evaluations where you alternate praise and criticism...

But of course, English is my second language, so i very well could be missing something.
 
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