Gas Bandit's Surgery Recovery Comedy Extravaganza

GasBandit

Staff member
Reactions
6,709 1,391 27
Has one of your doctors given you an exercise plan? If not, what do you plan on doing?
I've got 2 years of access to the hospital's rehab center with the treadmills and pool and machines and whatnot that I intend to take full advantage of, but first thing's first, I need to build stamina so that I can do more than walk 30 yards. So, I'm going to start small with walking, and as soon as I can make it around the block, I'm going to see what trouble I can get into over at the rehab center.
 
Reactions
477 134 6
I'd like to get back to losing 5ish pounds a week.
I'm sure you've already done the calculation, but for my own amusement here's my understanding and hopefully you can correct me where I'm wrong, and I'll assume myself 'cause I don't know some things about you:

Humans need to burn about 3,600 calories to lose a pound.
A sedentary male (ie, no active exercise program, spends majority of day sitting or lying) above 30 years old burns about 2,300 calories a day.

So if I eat nothing all week, I'll burn 2,300 just by existing, weekly burning 16,100, which is 4.47lb.

Now this doesn't actually work because your body does strange things when you have such a huge deficit, but so far as I know you can't lose 5lb a week without an extensive exercise program no matter what changes you make to your diet - except in the very early diet stages while your body is still running as though it has access to nearly limitless calories and burning more than 2,300 daily.

Every fast loss diet program only works for a few weeks.

Your 500 calorie diet, without much change in exercise, leads to about a 3.5lb week loss, which is only a little more than what you've found you're getting (2lb/week).

So while the early weight loss you experienced was nice, and you'd like to keep it up, I think you're much better off spending time on the diet you're going to have to maintain for the rest of your life. Your body will lose the weight slowly and you'll achieve a weight stasis that matches your intake and exercise level.

I've got 2 years of access to the hospital's rehab center with the treadmills and pool and machines and whatnot that I intend to take full advantage of, but first thing's first, I need to build stamina so that I can do more than walk 30 yards. So, I'm going to start small with walking, and as soon as I can make it around the block, I'm going to see what trouble I can get into over at the rehab center.
I'd advise you to go regardless of your stamina. Make it a priority, and a habit. Take full advantage of it starting now, because every day you're not using it is money down the drain, and because the little roadblock you've placed before you get there may lead to other excuses not to go down the road - moving the goalposts. Perhaps you've already moved them from "wait until the doctor says I can take a shower/get in water".

Don't let that happen. Even if it's just going, walking into the center, sitting for 30 minutes, then walking back out, make it important enough in your schedule that it becomes a habit - preferably a daily one. Turn on youtube or your favorite show, set the treadmill to a creeping slow walk, hold onto the bars and see if you can distract yourself enough to go beyond those 30 yards today.

You'll recover more quickly if you use the resources provided as soon as possible for as long as possible than if you wait.

 
Reactions
1,724 339 5
Plus, there will be people at the rehab center who can help you out with seeing setting up a slow exercise regimen I'm sure.

Also, were you told you should be losing 5 pounds a week once you get settled from surgery, or are you just impatient?
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Reactions
6,709 1,391 27
I'm sure you've already done the calculation, but for my own amusement here's my understanding and hopefully you can correct me where I'm wrong, and I'll assume myself 'cause I don't know some things about you:

Humans need to burn about 3,600 calories to lose a pound.
A sedentary male (ie, no active exercise program, spends majority of day sitting or lying) above 30 years old burns about 2,300 calories a day.

So if I eat nothing all week, I'll burn 2,300 just by existing, weekly burning 16,100, which is 4.47lb.

Now this doesn't actually work because your body does strange things when you have such a huge deficit, but so far as I know you can't lose 5lb a week without an extensive exercise program no matter what changes you make to your diet - except in the very early diet stages while your body is still running as though it has access to nearly limitless calories and burning more than 2,300 daily.

Every fast loss diet program only works for a few weeks.

Your 500 calorie diet, without much change in exercise, leads to about a 3.5lb week loss, which is only a little more than what you've found you're getting (2lb/week).

So while the early weight loss you experienced was nice, and you'd like to keep it up, I think you're much better off spending time on the diet you're going to have to maintain for the rest of your life. Your body will lose the weight slowly and you'll achieve a weight stasis that matches your intake and exercise level.



I'd advise you to go regardless of your stamina. Make it a priority, and a habit. Take full advantage of it starting now, because every day you're not using it is money down the drain, and because the little roadblock you've placed before you get there may lead to other excuses not to go down the road - moving the goalposts. Perhaps you've already moved them from "wait until the doctor says I can take a shower/get in water".

Don't let that happen. Even if it's just going, walking into the center, sitting for 30 minutes, then walking back out, make it important enough in your schedule that it becomes a habit - preferably a daily one. Turn on youtube or your favorite show, set the treadmill to a creeping slow walk, hold onto the bars and see if you can distract yourself enough to go beyond those 30 yards today.

You'll recover more quickly if you use the resources provided as soon as possible for as long as possible than if you wait.

I hear ya bro, thing is, today was the first day I was able to take a shower without needing a 30 minute recovery/rest period after (and I have yet to be able to complete a shower without sitting down to rest partway through). So, yeah, exercise is on the list, but I'd prefer not to collapse away from home, nam'sayin? I mean, just last thursday I still needed a nap at work, and all that is is sitting down.[DOUBLEPOST=1517340934,1517340788][/DOUBLEPOST]
Plus, there will be people at the rehab center who can help you out with seeing setting up a slow exercise regimen I'm sure.

Also, were you told you should be losing 5 pounds a week once you get settled from surgery, or are you just impatient?
That's how much I was losing during my last major weight loss regimen, even without surgery. I expect it to slow down to 2/3 pounds a week eventually, but right now it should be more.
 
Reactions
2,161 629 23
I've switched from losing a pound a day to a pound every 3 or 4 days.
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this. A “healthy” rate of weight loss for people on medically controlled diets (who have not had some form of bariatric surgery) is 2oz/day, but you are saying that 4-5oz/day isn’t fast enough? Are you TRYING to turn yourself from an Ewok into a Shar-Pei?

—Patrick
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Reactions
6,709 1,391 27
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this. A “healthy” rate of weight loss for people on medically controlled diets (who have not had some form of bariatric surgery) is 2oz/day, but you are saying that 4-5oz/day isn’t fast enough? Are you TRYING to turn yourself from an Ewok into a Shar-Pei?

—Patrick
Like I told Dei, I'm just going by previous experience. 10 years back or so I lost ~75 lbs on a diet (and I started off weighing a lot less) that started off losing about 5 lbs a week and ended around 3 lbs a week when I stopped. Granted, it was medically supervised, but I'm pretty sure I can come close to similar results now that I know the tricks. And yeah, the main trick is to keep it to 500 calories/day. Though, I expect there are gonna be a lot of cheat days.
 
Reactions
2,161 629 23
Thing is, you don’t want your calorie deficit to be so big and your -dy/dx so high that the safeties kick in and clamp down on your metabolism. If you keep it slow and steady, you can boil your own subconscious frog and not lose the benefits of having a “normal” metabolism.

—Patrick
 
Last edited:

GasBandit

Staff member
Reactions
6,709 1,391 27
What are you doing to that poor, innocent peanut butter?
You ask such loaded questions.

The answer is rather mundane, though - exactly what my doctor and dietician told me not to do. IE - "grazing." I had it at work because I needed something for quick energy. But in the last 3 days, I've polished off half the jar thanks to just getting a tiny bit whenever I started to feel the least bit off. I'm explicitly not supposed to "graze" and that's exactly what that is.

The jar is supposed to have 14 servings. So that means 7 or so over the last 3 days, which means about 400 calories a day give or take.

So, I went to the store tonight and got things to eat as meals instead of unmeasurable "a knifetip here and there" stuff. The portions are all so small it looks like I am shopping for a child, but 7 oz is pretty much my limit. I will put the peanut butter off limits starting tomorrow.
 
Reactions
2,161 629 23
10 years back or so I lost ~75 lbs on a diet (and I started off weighing a lot less) that started off losing about 5 lbs a week and ended around 3 lbs a week when I stopped. Granted, it was medically supervised, but I'm pretty sure I can come close to similar results now that I know the tricks.
impatientnoweighting.jpg


--Patrick
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Reactions
6,709 1,391 27
Remember when I used to be able to eat a pound of carrots no problem?

2 ounces now does the trick.

(Oh yeah, the scale came in yesterday btw)
 
Reactions
270 42 1
Like I told Dei, I'm just going by previous experience. 10 years back or so I lost ~75 lbs on a diet (and I started off weighing a lot less) that started off losing about 5 lbs a week and ended around 3 lbs a week when I stopped. Granted, it was medically supervised, but I'm pretty sure I can come close to similar results now that I know the tricks. And yeah, the main trick is to keep it to 500 calories/day. Though, I expect there are gonna be a lot of cheat days.
Dude, I'm only a few months younger than you & I put weight on easier and find it harder to shift compared to just 5 years ago despite not changing my normal diet / levels of excercise. Expecting your body to act the same in your late 30's compared to your late 20's is dumb. Take the slower but steady weight loss that you can keep over the quick but goes straight back on option.
 
Reactions
2,161 629 23
Take the slower but steady weight loss that you can keep over the quick but goes straight back on option.
Hey, Gas.

If you don't want to believe us, ask the dietician. Let us know what kind of answer you get.

--Patrick
 
Reactions
1,724 339 5
As will tapeworms, malaria, and abject poverty.
There are side effects, though.

Also, it's five or six of us, now.

--Patrick
But if he keeps starving himself, he'll never get his energy levels back up, then he'll have the joy of muscle atrophy as he keeps coming up with excuses to not use the gym.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Reactions
6,709 1,391 27
But if he keeps starving himself, he'll never get his energy levels back up, then he'll have the joy of muscle atrophy as he keeps coming up with excuses to not use the gym.
Look, there's a difference between "starving myself" and "deciding not to compulsively eat 1/4 jar of peanut butter over the course of a day."
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Reactions
6,709 1,391 27
How do you even do that with such a tiny stomach?

I mean, I'm actually impressed.
One small marble-sized bit at a time, every 15 mins or so, over the course of 8 hours.

The upside was, though, it really boosted my water intake, and got me the closest I've been to a healthy hydration level since the surgery.[DOUBLEPOST=1517440496,1517440327][/DOUBLEPOST]Anyway, I'm happy to say I have had absolutely no peanut butter today, I feel absolutely fine, and my current calorie count is 383 (I plan to have another 200-300 for dinner).
 
Ha ha ha ha, guess which colossal idiot had to make a mad dash for the bathroom because he thought he could handle breakfast like a normal person? Better luck next time, little baby burpy!

Haven't you figured out you're MY bitch now? After all these years of putting up with all the horrible stuff you sent my way, I'm going to enjoy making you miserable. You worthless sack of shit.
 
Reactions
1,042 438 25
Huh, for some reason I assumed the "gasbandit's stomach" account wasn't actually gasbandit.
 
Top