Gas Bandit's Surgery Recovery Comedy Extravaganza

GasBandit

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#1
So as to free up the random crap thread.

Anyway, starting tomorrow, here's what's on the menu for the next couple weeks.

IMG_20180117_153215.jpg
 
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#2
Well, on the plus-ish side it looks like most of Gerber's veggie lineup is acceptable.
 
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#3
You could put peanut butter in oatmeal. :p[DOUBLEPOST=1516225109,1516225069][/DOUBLEPOST]
Well, on the plus-ish side it looks like most of Gerber's veggie lineup is acceptable.
Oh god. :puke:
Baby food meat and veggies are so gross.
 

GasBandit

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#4
I gotta figure out how to make extra small portions of stuff.

Y'know, without kitchencraft.
 
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#5
Puree a bunch of fruit/veggies and freeze it in an ice cube tray for later use.[DOUBLEPOST=1516225393,1516225344][/DOUBLEPOST]Alternatively, just google how to make meals at those restaurants that charge you $200 a plate for the tiniest portions ever.
 
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#6
My Kroger sells these egg-drop-soup-in-a-cup things that are pretty good, maybe try that out. Portion isn't huge either.

Ditto with miso soups. The dried packets are usually meant to make 1-cup portions.
 
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#7
I also think you're better off learning how to make food that keeps and reheats well than trying to make tiny portions of everything.
 
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#8
If you don't get bored with repetitive meals, you could use recipes and techniques from the MealPrepSunday guides, but cut down the numbers so each meal is the correct size. You might end up preparing 1.5x a meal (to split in 7) instead of the normal 7, but that'll at least be more manageable on the stove.
 
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#9
I gotta figure out how to make extra small portions of stuff.
Y'know, without kitchencraft.
It's not that hard.
Also, kitchencraft is a useful skill to start learning if you're a) going to be stuck at home more often than average and b) are going to have to prepare your own GasBandit-sized portions of everything from now on anyway. Restaurants aren't going to have a GasBandit section, office parties aren't going to have a GasBandit table, etc. Gonna have to fend for yourself.

--Patrick
 
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#10
Kitchen craft is hard though. Endless grinding, and you can’t grind frequently unless you’re willing to buy and throw away a lot of food.
 

GasBandit

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#11
I'm starting to come to that conclusion myself. I don't like it, but I guess Imma have to.
 
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#12
Kitchen craft is hard though. Endless grinding, and you can’t grind frequently unless you’re willing to buy and throw away a lot of food.
I'm starting to come to that conclusion myself. I don't like it, but I guess Imma have to.
Practice. Make something that "serves 4." Divide out and save your portion. Take the rest of it to work, it'll surely get eaten before it gets bad. Repeat.
Eventually you might end up bringing people over to your place to get social, where you cook for you but then fob off the extra on them and they're none the wiser. Ultimately your skills might help convince a certain someone to come visit more often and...well...

--Patrick
 

GasBandit

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#13
Practice. Make something that "serves 4." Divide out and save your portion. Take the rest of it to work, it'll surely get eaten before it gets bad. Repeat.
Eventually you might end up bringing people over to your place to get social, where you cook for you but then fob off the extra on them and they're none the wiser. Ultimately your skills might help convince a certain someone to come visit more often and...well...

--Patrick
Heh, it's gonna be quite a while before anyone's coming over to Chateau d'GeeBee that I care about impressing. It needs a looooot of work.[DOUBLEPOST=1516227671,1516227508][/DOUBLEPOST]The engineer just brought his daughter into my office, her carrying a girl scout cookie order form.

I just shot him a look that said "Biiiiiiiiiiiitch... you know betta."

"Oh yeah," and they turned around and left.
 
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#15
Again, if you're going to be stuck @ home a lot more, might as well practice some nesting behavior.

--Patrick
My husband thought that once we had a house, I might also practice that nesting behavior. :wololo:
 
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#16
I missed all the Random Crap posts. What's the surgery for? Are you finally getting that lobotomy I suggested to improve your IQ? *ducks!*
 

Dave

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#20
This looks a lot like the keto diet. Well, a pureed keto diet. A good snack is actually jello cups with whipped cream. You'd be surprised how few carbs/sugars are in whipped cream.

Also, look for muscle milks. High protein, low carb. Pretty tasty, too. Too bad nobody around here stocks the cookies & creme flavor. That was my favorite.

One more thing, I just watched a report that details that it's just as important WHEN you eat as WHAT. They suggest only eating during an 8 hour window that ends at 4 pm at the LATEST.

 

GasBandit

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#21
This looks a lot like the keto diet. Well, a pureed keto diet. A good snack is actually jello cups with whipped cream. You'd be surprised how few carbs/sugars are in whipped cream.

Also, look for muscle milks. High protein, low carb. Pretty tasty, too.
Actually, because I can eat so very little of anything, I'm trying to find high calorie stuff at the moment. I mean, I've got these protein shakes that are 30g of protein and 160 calories, but they're so "fluffy" that I have to struggle just to drink half of one. It's rare that I can get just one down over the course of the whole day.

And let me tell you, trying to do stuff on 160 calories a day feels like dying.
 
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#22
Actually, because I can eat so very little of anything, I'm trying to find high calorie stuff at the moment. I mean, I've got these protein shakes that are 30g of protein and 160 calories, but they're so "fluffy" that I have to struggle just to drink half of one. It's rare that I can get just one down over the course of the whole day.

And let me tell you, trying to do stuff on 160 calories a day feels like dying.
Once you can have fats, rendered bacon fat is a useful (and tasty) way to add calories to dishes. You can get it by microwaving bacon that's hanging off a bowl within a bowl (or similar microwave-safe suspension-over-a-container).
 
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#23
I'm starting to come to that conclusion myself. I don't like it, but I guess Imma have to.
The gifs & videos of how to make different dishes can be helpful for someone just starting to learn "kitchencraft". Also there are a lot of different kinds of protein shakes out there, both premade and powdered. Maybe you can find one that's less fluffy.[DOUBLEPOST=1516240271,1516240181][/DOUBLEPOST]
Well, on the plus-ish side it looks like most of Gerber's veggie lineup is acceptable.
I used to love eating my kids' leftover baby food fruits.
 
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#24
Actually, because I can eat so very little of anything, I'm trying to find high calorie stuff at the moment.
Does it matter what kind? That is, does it matter whether the calories come from fats, proteins, carbs, etc? If so, one of your densest source of calories is going to be butter.
...though I doubt you will want to shove straight-up pats of butter into your face all day. If you're good for dairy, maybe you can drink those little creamer cups?

--Patrick
 
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#25
Also, this green smoothie is delicious. Use skim milk instead of soymilk. If you don't have a blender, I recommend getting a Ninja. It works well. Mine is a blender with a food processor bowl. People swear by Vitamix and the other high priced/high end blenders, but our Ninja has been going strong for close to 5 years now. It's about $160 for the model I have.[DOUBLEPOST=1516241292,1516241231][/DOUBLEPOST]
...though I doubt you will want to shove straight-up pats of butter into your face all day.
--Patrick
:sohappy:
 

GasBandit

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#27
Does it matter what kind? That is, does it matter whether the calories come from fats, proteins, carbs, etc? If so, one of your densest source of calories is going to be butter.
...though I doubt you will want to shove straight-up pats of butter into your face all day. If you're good for dairy, maybe you can drink those little creamer cups?

--Patrick
Protein is my priority. I've got to retain as much muscle mass as possible while I literally waste away.

I think you'd like greek yogurt. :devil:
I've found it's ok, as long as it's mixed with raspberries or strawberries or something.

As I've said before, plain greek yogurt is just rancid milk pretending to be pudding. It is demon semen.
 

GasBandit

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#32
Unfortunately my most "before" before picture died with my old phone. I'm trying to get a copy back from the doctor because they took one at one of the seminars I had to attend as part of this.

But I did take a before picture the day of surgery, and I do plan to take progress pictures, though I may hold off on posting them a bit until I have several for maximum effect.
 

GasBandit

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#34
So how do you prevent yourself from starving to death once you've lost all the weight you want to?
Smaller meals more frequently. multivitamins. Foods with higher calorie content. The main issue right now is in addition to being smaller my stomach is also swollen while it recovers from surgery so passing stuff through it can be a little difficult. Once that heals up it'll be less of a chore to not starve.
 
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#35
So how do you prevent yourself from starving to death once you've lost all the weight you want to?
He goes back under the knife, they pull the part of his stomach they removed out of the vat of formaldehyde where it’s been waiting and sew it back on and he resumes a normal, healthy lifestyle.

—Patrick
 
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