cosplay does NOT equal Consent

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I do see Pez's point, simply as a mom of an autistic kid, who looks normal but definitely doesn't act that way. But I feel like it has nothing to do with being a white male, and more to do with expectations of society towards "normal looking people."
 

figmentPez

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Back on the subject of creepy comments. iKearstin had some interesting comments. From her Tumblr (which is very NSFW), some select quotes:

First of all, a nice chunk of these aren’t creepy at all. A few I think were made up, and the others, while could be creepy depending on the person be considered such, I am on the side that reactions. articles, and this type of ‘movement’ is unproductive. This does NOT teach or tell the ‘perpetrator’ he/she’s done something wrong. This is public crowd shaming, and it doesn’t help anybody. It’s also pretty annoying that things like this are almost always women orientated. Women can be just as shitty to male costumers.

...

So, with this specific article. Aside the not even creepy ones, some are so dumb and cheesy that those were totally openings for you to either make him uncomfortable back or be a dick. Did you stop him in his sentence to tell him how inappropriate that was and how uncomfortable it made you feel? No? Did you instead, giggle awkwardly and went “ehhh okthxbai”?

....

Teach people, don’t shame... Tell them at that very moment what they did “wrong” and tell them what would have been better. Then go about your day.
Waiting a few days later to bitch about it online when you did nothing to help, prevent or stop it is not productive.

Now, if somebody lays a hand on you, glomps (yes, if you do this to strangers, this is considered ASSAULT), whatthefuckever; then yes. SERIOUS situation. IMMEDIATELY do something about it. As in, report to convention security or staff. Think convention staff does shit about things like that? You won’t know until you personally try yourself. You try and they still don’t? Grab a friend (because I certainly hope you are not going to conventions of mass attendance by yourself) and never be alone. Getting stalked? Call the police. There are (or should be) cops on site at conventions. I know they are for a fact in Chicago conventions.

...

But having someone say something as completely harmless like “I can’t believe I’m finally meeting you!” is so outrageously pompous for you to call creepy, you have now caused an awkward male to feel ashamed for expressing his appreciation and admiration to you as a costumer. Us costumers bring characters to life for a lot of people, and a lot of them are “fans” because they personally/deeply/emotionally connect with these characters to some degree. That’s the whole point of why we love them. Our fandom. Our guidance. Relating to a character when you’ve gone through a rough point in your life, because they helped you get through it. To tear down a man/woman who is just saying how awesome it is to meet you, I certainly hope you don’t have a goddamn likepage, because those are made for people like them. Separates your privacy from your hobby. Don’t want to be known? Don’t make a likepage. Based on this context in the article of that quote, he/she knew of you in some way prior to approaching you (talked to you online before? On your likepage? Twitter?), so, what preventative measures did [you] take then? You can’t pick and choose who’s ok to say what. Had it been a big beefy ripped man covered in oil that said that to you (or if you’re into women; a sexy Red Sonja or some shit), I’m sure blushing and giggles would have immediately followed that. You have to be fair. Especially if you purposefully put yourself out there.
I disagree with her on some points. Not everyone is, or even can be, prepared to have a witty comeback to every possible asshole comment. I'm a pretty glib speaker when I'm on stage talking about a subject I know well, but I fall to pieces trying to talk to an attractive woman. Other people just aren't good at snappy comebacks at all. It's a difficult skill to master. While I do think every effort should be made to avoid the "giggle and accept" reaction, as that can send the message that the bad behavior was acceptable, I don't think it's good advice to tell every woman to be aggressive in response, because that's not a reasonable expectation.

I really like that she differentiates, in a paragraph I didn't quote, between intentional assholes and those that don't know better. I also think she makes a good point about taking the opportunity to teach, and not resort to public shaming.
 
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Some of the R rated outfits that are worn.

As someone who was once a kid (as alien as that is to you, oh ancient one) i got to ask: why does that matter? Because before puberty i didn't really care except that they looked silly and uncomfortable, while after puberty they could have been wearing burka's and i would have made due...[DOUBLEPOST=1382366326,1382366239][/DOUBLEPOST]
I just want to go on the record and say I hate wearing a hat of any sort.
It's like a prison for your head...
 

GasBandit

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It's like a prison for your head...
Yeah, they never fit just right, you're expected to take em off indoors which just gives you something extra to carry around, and they mess up your hair so when you DO take it off you look dumb. No hat has ever made me look as good as my hair alone, and if it rains I have umbrellas at home, work, and in the car (more for the sake of the electronics I carry, really).
 
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I like to occasionally wear a newsboy with a vest because it makes me feel in touch with my 1940s Slavic ancestry.

No joke, my Eastern European grandpa was awesome and wore a newsboy like a boss.
 
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I'm really not sure where else to put this, since it's not really about consent, but I guess I wanted to bring up/mention stories of bullying.

http://iamthedavrezi.tumblr.com/post/84720306678/on-friday-i-went-to-school-in-my-grell-cosplay

I don't know what it is about this particular story that gets to me, but it does. It really really does. And I'm so angry. What in the hell are parents teaching their kids these days??

If you don't want to read it, a girl wore her Grell cosplay to school.


And then got assaulted. When another girl began tugging on her wig the cosplayer asked her to stop, and then the girl turned on the cosplayer. She punched her, ripped her wig off, knocked her to the ground.

In what world is this reaction okay?? And then there are screen shots of a Facebook conversation of people saying how happy they are that this girl got beat up. I just don't even...

I see cosplayers, especially young ones, get bullied often. A lot of us are older and can handle verbal abuse, but physical altercations and on some poor high school student?

I am so angry. So very angry. And I can feel myself becoming Mama Bear and UGH. I would hope that the one girls mother would talk to her daughter, but I know that that is unlikely, which is just so wrong.

This just...hits close to home for me because I was bullied in school. Not terribly, but with my depression and anxiety it was enough to mess me up for almost all of my school life.

 
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Some people just refuse to allow anyone else to be different, and think that such behavior is justified.

--Patrick
the line that sums up what you want is, "They're not like you and me, which means they must be evil!" or my personal favorite, which is burned into me, "You are cast from the light monster, you are cast from our warm embrace, die monster, die, you don't belong in this world!"
 
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When I was in high school my friend decided to wear his masquerade live action costume to school. Similar thing happened. Someone didn't like it and laid into him.
 

GasBandit

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I can't say I know much about this. The only time I ever went (or saw somebody go) to school in costume was on halloween day. And thus, nobody thought it odd. Of course, the school custodians hated me because I went as a freshly killed zombie every year, complete with oozing blood, and sometimes it got on the floor.
 
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I'm perplexed at the article. Was it for a special occasion or did she just decid to show up randomly like that for no reason related to theme/activity/date?

Also call me a old fart but trying to read more posts on tumbler is fucking frustrating.
 
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I know I'm going to sound like a TOTAL dick for saying this, but honestly, going to school dressed in cosplay is totally asking for trouble.

I know I shouldn't feel that way, because I'm usually all about letting your freak flag fly and wearing your difference like a badge, but even I knew not to show up in certain places dressed in drag when I was younger and did such things.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, you should really pick your battles.
 
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I know I'm going to sound like a TOTAL dick for saying this, but honestly, going to school dressed in cosplay is totally asking for trouble.

I know I shouldn't feel that way, because I'm usually all about letting your freak flag fly and wearing your difference like a badge, but even I knew not to show up in certain places dressed in drag when I was younger and did such things.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, you should really pick your battles.
I want to rebuttal, I got nothing, I agree school is probably not a great venue, but hell we all did dumb shit when we were in high school. I feel like things to do to get beat up for this should be low on the list. Its like when I was in high school and the bullies beat me up in the parking lot for being a cripple and limping to my car after a particularly nasty fall.
 
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I know I'm going to sound like a TOTAL dick for saying this, but honestly, going to school dressed in cosplay is totally asking for trouble.

I know I shouldn't feel that way, because I'm usually all about letting your freak flag fly and wearing your difference like a badge, but even I knew not to show up in certain places dressed in drag when I was younger and did such things.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, you should really pick your battles.
And then, sometimes...

--Patrick
 
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She wore the costume to school as a test run to see how it would handle at a convention. She even mentions she expected to be poked fun at, laughed at, but what I am not okay with is for her to be beat up.

I get it, wearing a costume to school is not the best venue, but that shouldn't matter on a scale of physical altercations. Wearing a costume to school should not = physical bullying.
 
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She wore the costume to school as a test run to see how it would handle at a convention. She even mentions she expected to be poked fun at, laughed at, but what I am not okay with is for her to be beat up.

I get it, wearing a costume to school is not the best venue, but that shouldn't matter on a scale of physical altercations. Wearing a costume to school should not = physical bullying.
Nothing should equal physical bullying. But it's a problem that I don't know how to fix.
 
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Is it just me, or does the description resemble an animal attack? Like having the colored wig was waving a red flag in a bull's face. Usually I see bullying escalate, not just sudden laying in.
 
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I read the original post (oy, that background color...), but did she ever report the incident and the follow-up posts to the administration? While I agree cosplaying at school isn't a good idea unless it's Halloween or a theme day, but nothing should ever result in assault. Not saying everyone has to like each other, but she shouldn't be subjected to a hostile environment.
 

Espy

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I get it, wearing a costume to school is not the best venue, but that shouldn't matter on a scale of physical altercations. Wearing a costume to school should not = physical bullying.
This. Everyone who thinks it was a bad idea in the first place, you are right. It was NOT a good idea for a variety of reasons (it's school being the primary one) however there is zero call for physical bullying. Thats just plain horrible.
 

GasBandit

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I agree with Espy. It was probably a bad idea to wear cosplay to school, but that doesn't mean what happened is acceptable.

I'm wondering about the staff and faculty of this school though? Nobody saw the costume and said "you need to go home and change?" Nobody saw the attack, and disciplined the attacker? Is this school just kids running rampant, answerable only to the lord of the flies?
 
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the girl responded with it happened after school, as far as the cosplay goes, if not for the wig its pretty tame by cosplay standards, so it makes me think the instructors let it go since she was probably well behaved. this is all speculation of course.
 

GasBandit

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the girl responded with it happened after school, as far as the cosplay goes, if not for the wig its pretty tame by cosplay standards, so it makes me think the instructors let it go since she was probably well behaved. this is all speculation of course.
Man, I got sent home once because I had a shirt (that completely covered my upper body) that said "Big Johnson" on the front.
 
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To be clear, I don't, under any circumstances, believe that this girl should have been abused in any way for this. Nor should anyone. What the bullies in this case did was reprehensible, as were the posted facebook responses.

Bullying is never acceptable.
 
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The only times I yell at a student for clothing is when said clothing is either A) distracting, or B) inappropriate in some way (sex, drugs, violent threats, etc.). I would probably not have told this girl to change her clothes. I try to let them express themselves as much as (reasonably) possible.

This assault was grotesque and the people who did it should be severely punished.