A depression update

So, about a year ago... Maybe 2, I'm bad with time, I posted here about how I was finally going to admit to myself my problems with depression and see my doctor about possible medication.

Yeah, none of that ever happened. Partially because I'm afraid the medication wouldn't work, when I've always said to myself that that it would be a last resort and then what do I do if that option isn't there anymore, partially because of irrational thoughts on how I don't deserve medication and I've gotten by fine without it (unfortunately, knowing these are irrational doesn't stop me being affected by them) and partially because my mother works at the only doctors office available to me and I don't want her to know.

And while at this point I still don't plan on doing what I know I should, I still feel compelled to share my shortcomings and be honest about them, because this place is the closest I have to a therapist, and because I know many people here also struggle, and there's a solidarity in knowing you at least aren't struggling alone

Will the new year spur me to finally do something? Maybe... Probably not
 

Dave

Staff member
Part of the problem with depression is the disease convincing you that you shouldn't HAVE to do anything about it. I'm not telling you what to do, but seeing a doctor is not an admission of weakness or defeat. If your appendix was hurting or you broke a bone, going to a doctor would be a smart thing to do and I'll bet you wouldn't hesitate. Depression is nothing more than your brain and chemical system hurting. While it's not as exact a science as setting a broken bone, there are doctors who are pretty damned good at helping.

Just my $.02.

Either way, we're here to lend an ear or unwanted advice. :)
 
Part of the problem with depression is the disease convincing you that you shouldn't HAVE to do anything about it. I'm not telling you what to do, but seeing a doctor is not an admission of weakness or defeat. If your appendix was hurting or you broke a bone, going to a doctor would be a smart thing to do and I'll bet you wouldn't hesitate. Depression is nothing more than your brain and chemical system hurting. While it's not as exact a science as setting a broken bone, there are doctors who are pretty damned good at helping.

Just my $.02.

Either way, we're here to lend an ear or unwanted advice. :)
Like I said, I know those thoughts are irrational. This knowledge doesn't help as much as I'd like it to.

My purpose for this thread isn't to ask for advice (though I won't be upset by anyone giving it) but rather just to share, because it is something that should be talked about.
 
It's hard. I suspect I should be seeing someone as well, but I'm not in any hurry to deal with it. I'm sure you've developed a number of coping mechanisms like me and many others - some healthy, some unhealthy - and we all just kind of stumble through life, one foot in front of the other on bad days/weeks/months.

Please do use this place to vent, discuss, etc. It's one of the more healthy coping strategies, and while we're a rascally bunch we respect and care for each other, so this may be a better place to do it than other options you might have.

I hope today goes well for you!

Do you have any plans for the new year?
 
It's hard. I suspect I should be seeing someone as well, but I'm not in any hurry to deal with it. I'm sure you've developed a number of coping mechanisms like me and many others - some healthy, some unhealthy - and we all just kind of stumble through life, one foot in front of the other on bad days/weeks/months.

Please do use this place to vent, discuss, etc. It's one of the more healthy coping strategies, and while we're a rascally bunch we respect and care for each other, so this may be a better place to do it than other options you might have.

I hope today goes well for you!

Do you have any plans for the new year?
You know, there's something I've come to call emotional inertia, though I honestly don't know if I thought of that title myself or heard it elsewhere and adopted it. But it very accurately describes how I feel. Starting things is hard, and since I too have come up with healthy/unhealthy ways to cope, the path of least resistance is to do nothing. I know this isn't a viable long term strategy, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

No current plans for New Year. I don't typically make plans anyway, because I end up cancelling them
 
Holidays are hard for me. I learned at an early age that if I kept my hands and brain busy, I was less likely to fall into the pit. I'm not a social person, so while I desire social interaction, I avoid it - shooting myself in the foot.

If you aren't going to make plans with others, make a plan for yourself and prepare for it so it's easy to do when the time comes - movies, video games, whatever - when its new years stick to the plan no matter how you feel. Unless someone calls you up and invites you. As hard as social interaction is, I decided early on (yet another coping mechanism) that I wouldn't say no to an invitation based on feelings. I'd only ever cancel or decline an invitation if I physically couldn't make it. I just found that feeling alone at a party (whether with friends or strangers) and pretending to enjoy it was still (slightly) better than feeling alone and actually being alone, despite the heartache of watching others enjoy what I couldn't.

Maybe someone needs to start a coping strategies thread. I try not to think about it too much, it's depressing. So many scripts!
 
Oh, the medication always works. Whether it has the desired outcome or whether it brings something else to the fore is another matter.

--Patrick
Tis true. I've only been on meds twice for depression, and both times the side effects were not worth it. And yeah, I didn't feel sad but I also didn't feel anything else either.
 
What the previous two posters said. I'm on a variety of mood-and-mind-altering meds, (probably permanently, yay Bipolar type 2!) and I'd be a lot less... alive TBH, and certainly less productive without them. Do they have some absolutely loathsome side-effects? O hells yes. But for me, they're worth it. I hate them, I hate that I need them, but I most definitely do need them.

Good luck. And rant away if it helps.
 
So, the forum wipe ate all the posts I made in this thread about starting an SSRI, the side effects that came from it, and my experiences on it. Short recap: it was all pretty awesome and life changing, I'm feeling a billion more times like myself when I didn't even know my self was being repressed, and the only major side effect to come out of it was my penis not working, which is pretty common (and I wasn't using it anyway).

So here's an update since then: the side effects have gone away. When I asked my doctor about that, he said it was more than likely my body adapting to the medication.

So, all and all, I will state again that if you at any time have thought about seeing a doctor for symptoms of depression, you should do it. My results are not typical, but they're not atypical either, and although the day I went to the doctor was one of the most anxiety inducing events of my life, but I'm glad every day I did it.
 
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