Granted, but it only plays Nickelback songs. A lot of them, though.
I wish I could eat all I want without getting fat.
[Thread Game] Corrupt a wish foundation
- Thread starter Yoshimickster
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I wish I could eat all I want without getting fat.
GRANTED! You become incredibly dense, pressure builds in your insides, and you are immolated as a result of the fusion.
I wish there was no Nickelback.
Granted! There is now only Celine Dion.GRANTED! You become incredibly dense, pressure builds in your insides, and you are immolated as a result of the fusion.
I wish there was no Nickelback.
I wish for Gusto to get lucky tonight!
GRANTED! He finds a penny. That is pretty lucky I guess.
I wish I could shoot energy blasts.
Granted. You are now Jubilee
I wish that the song Isn't It Ironic actually used irony
Granted, but your only good at EA sports. Also their the only thing you can play.
I wish for garlic chicken.
Granted! You are now holding in your arms a very surly and confused NBA player.
I wish for Dave Nihsen to sing the song that never ends.
Granted! You now have the ability to belch flame after eating Trinidad Moruga Scorpion peppers. The downside, of course, is that you have to eat Trinidad Moruga Scorpion peppers, which, at 2 million on the Scoville Scale, are the hottest peppers currently known to man.
I wish I had a mutant healing factor.
Granted! However, any baked goods you may have been promised at the end will turn out to be untruths.
(Version 2: Granted! However, the portal passes through Hell, so you'll need to bring your shotgun every time you want to go through it)
I wish we were visited by peaceful, benevolent aliens.
Granted...in 1947 Roswell New Mexico! They did not survive the crash.
I wish they survived the crash!
Zappit
Staff member
Granted. They survive, but the experience of the military's treatment and the trauma change them from benevolent visitors to bitter, angry young aliens who leave Earth only to return with a war fleet that annihilates all life.
I wish I was telekinetic,
Granted! Tactile telekinesis! THE DUMBEST TELEKINESIS OF ALL! Also you can only lift up to .0000000000000000000000000000000001 extra pounds so not that noticeable.
I wish I could eat anything.
Zappit
Staff member
Granted. However, you develop a taste for some pretty unspeakable stuff, and foods that once have you joy no longer hold the same kind of thrill...in fact, you find those tastes rather vile.
I wish that every time Sean Hannity speaks in front of a camera, flies come pouring out of his mouth.
Granted! The infinite flies are harvested as a source of protein, creating an eternal source of cheap food and ending world hunger. Unfortunately, the cheapness and prevalence of the Soylent Flies means that almost every food product on the market contains at least some of it. Which makes it impossible to avoid eating flies that have been in Sean Hannity's mouth.
I wish for a photographic / eidetic memory
Granted, however you get the "Task master" kind of photographic memory where every time you learn something new you forget something old. Possible bisexual daughter not included.
I wish for a missile launcher.
Granted, you hear a helicopter on the horizon, then realize that Seal Team Six is coming to get it back.
I wish I was the most famous person in the world.
Granted. You realize, however, that your network of friends is grossly inadequate as the global manhunt for your head proves to be trivial, and your body is dumped into the sea shortly after becoming famous.
I wish for a long and prosperous future for halforums and all its members.
Granted, but we all become so famous that we go in way over our heads and go on giant drug benders lose all our fame and die at the hands of a man named Tito in Bangkok.
I wish I had a magic tattoo.
Zappit
Staff member
Granted. Your tattoo sexually harasses women with crude comments, and nobody believes your tattoo talks, costing you jobs and friendships.
I wish I could control the weather.
Granted, however you can only control weather with-in one inch of you. And since clouds are like- WAY up in the sky you can't do much.
I wish I knew monkey kung-fu.
Granted, in fact, your whole body is an intricate pattern of magic tattoos. Then the Sartan ban you to the Labyrinth.
I wish I had the Millennium Falcon.
Granted, but your also the ships computer. THE MOST UNDERRATED AND UNDERAPPRECIATED STAR WARS CHARACTER EVER!
I wish I was an orc.
Granted. You're Horace from Dark Legacy Comics. Enjoy getting ganked every 30 seconds.
I wish the NHL lockout would end. NOW.
Zappit
Staff member
Granted, but all the players are locked into their European contracts, essentially turning the NHL into the AHL for the rest of the season. Then the officials get locked out.
I wish Michael Bay wasn't in charge of the Transformers movies anymore.
Granted your chili is done, but because you did not cook it low and slow, it tastes like carp.
I wish I was better at picking up chicks.
Granted, you are now a chicken farmer. BUT- if you were hoping for that literally, than everytime yo pick up a chick it turns to stone. Though your still good at picking them up though.
I wish I had a car again.
Zappit
Staff member
Granted. It's a Gremlin.
I wish that at least one of my webcomics would get a bigger devoted audience - a non-perverted audience.
Granted, but after the amputation your leg itches... AND YOU CAN'T SCRATCH THE PHANTOM LIMB!!!
I wish I could retire comfortably.
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