Ask out or don't bother?

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You might know that I asked out one of the Canadian girls on my softball team a couple weeks ago. She said yes at first, but then canceled the day of because she was already seeing somebody. It was a very secret relationship and nobody else knew either. Fair enough. No hard feelings because I don't want drama in the dugout.

Anyways, I had also been considering another girl on the team. We get along well and she came to my Halloween party. If I hadn't asked out the first girl, I would've asked her instead.

If they didn't know each other, I wouldn't hesitate to take a chance. But these girls are not just teammates, they're also friends, neighbors, and coworkers with each other. I know that can potentially lead to a lot of drama. Should I just ask anyway? Or would I just be asking for trouble?
 
The first girl said no, ask away.

If you worry about the first girl getting upset (which she shouldn't, if she's already in a relationship) then I suppose you could give her a heads up, 'hey I'm going to ask so and so out, wanted you to know,' but it really shouldn't be necessary.
 

North_Ranger

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What the Woody said.

Worst case scenario, she says no and you hear some bad jokes for a while.

Best case scenario, maybe she'll end up as Benny to your Cale ;)
 
The first one turned you down. You owe her nothing, and she has no grounds to complain and/or mock.

Good luck.
 
Life isn't a game of chess. You are not required to think three moves ahead, and try to figure out what your partner is thinking.

If you have a desire to ask her out, then do so. If she has a hangup because you asked her friend out first, that's her bag, not yours.

I know it's tempting to think about what might happen, but I've found that both I and the people around me are happier if I don't assume anything on their behalf, and instead allow them to respond to me.
 
It's not your fault the first girl wasn't upfront about her current relationship. I say Girl #2 is totally fair game.

In other words:

DO EEEEEEET!
 
Life isn't a game of chess. ...



Damn....


And on topic: I can understand where you are coming from but everyone here has got the idea right. You don't have anything tied up with the first girl so go for it.[DOUBLEPOST=1351992328][/DOUBLEPOST]edit - Why is Gas's image showing up when I quoted Stienman?
 
Say what you will, but in college there were at least 2 instances of guys asking out my best friend because I was in a relationship (and I'm not saying it as an ego thing, I was told this to my face O_O), so I do think it is somewhat tacky to get turned down by one and instantly ask out the other. In theory, yes go for it and stop asking every time you think about asking someone out, but you might want to space it out some.
 
It's not tacky nor should you follow the advice of women.

What the fuck did you ask the first girl? Her hand in marriage? Did you get all gushy when you asked her out? Or did you tell her she won the lifetime subscription of jumping on your dick? If you went about and asked her out for dinner without saying stupid things like, "I like you" or "let's go on a date" and just kept it formal as, "hey, how about dinner/coffee?" you'd avoid these type of retarded situations.

Just ball up and be up front about it. If it was me, I'd ask the first girl for dinner and when she opts out, I'll turn around and ask her friend instead.

I've done it.

I married the second girl.

The first one is now a single stay at home mom on social warfare.

*shrug*
 
It's not tacky nor should you follow the advice of women.
Hey! I told him to ask the second one out. I said
. The first girl lost her chance. If she doesn't like it, too bad for her.

And it only gets tacky if he's jumping from woman to woman to woman like a desperate lost puppy looking for anything with a heartbeat (not that you are being *that guy*, IronBrig, but there are plenty of people like that out there and it is tacky).
 
Haha when I asked the first girl out, it was a just a simple "You doing anything for dinner on Wednesday? Have you been to the Villagio? Would you like to have dinner with me there?" I think I'll do the same thing with the second one.

Btw, the Villagio is a somewhat upscale mall in Doha. It has some nice restaurants but nothing especially ostentatious.
 
Well I called her up and asked. She can't do dinner this weekend because of previous engagements, but she agreed to a rain check. So it's all good.
 
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