[Brazelton] US Ambassador to Libya killed, consulate burned down

Like a lot of guys, I sometimes have trouble getting a good crotch sweat going. Wrapping my nethers in plastic wrap and a dozen freshly baked Hot Pockets only goes so far. So, as soon as I saw this magnificent product I knew I must have it. The friendly orange hue and easy-to-use velcro attachments greatly appealed to me, and I was very pleased to see the roomy 54" waistline!

The first time I tried it I was simply amazed. I had never been so relaxed as I felt my own musky brine soak into every hairy crevice and all the pores on my considerable backside opened up. I fell into a deep meditative trance as my ears were soothed by the gentle sprinkle of ball sweat rolling down my glistening hammy thighs and dropping into a small tepid puddle on the floor. I sat there luxuriating in the cozy warmth of my nethers, slowly saturating my living room couch, and came to only when the depth of my relaxation allowed a small burst of flatulence to rise up and out of the Sauna Pants in a series of hot humid bubbles that tickled my lobster-red skin as they rolled out.

Now on freezing mornings the first thing I do after heaving myself out of bed is slip on my splendid Sauna Pants! Everyone else at the bus stop may be shivering but with my Sauna Pants tightly secured beneath my Utilikilt like a giant orange diaper, I know no fear of cold. When the bus arrives, my sweat-lubed legs slide effortlessly against each other as I waddle for the door. The pungent aroma that arises reminds me of my own healthful vitality. Through either jealousy or appreciation, I am always left with my own seat.

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