As something of a possible analogy, a while back I was discussing politics with an older gentleman I know very well. I can't remember the exact subject, but it is irrelevant all the same. I was expressing my usual, rather cynical views on the possible agendas and links between the civil servants and business interests.
The gentleman told me that, while I may possibly be correct, I could give the matter the benefit of the doubt. That although it is easy to be cynical in the world of today, if there is no spark of idealism left anywhere, then there is no chance of things ever changing for the better. Caution is good and naivete gets you burned, but care should be taken with cynicism, as it can easily lead to bitterness. And bitterness doesn't do anybody any favors, least of all the person who is bitter.
So, where is the analogy between this and human interaction? Well, my understanding is that, in general, you get what you give. As con men say, you don't gain another person's confidence by asking them to trust you, you gain it by trusting them first. The reverse is kind of a vicious circle, people don't trust you because you don't trust them, causing you to trust them even less, and it becomes easy to ascribe outside intent to anything that goes wrong. The equivalent of the bitterness mentioned above might be paranoia in this case, an understandable defence mechanism, but still, seeming like quite a joyless existence, not trusting anybody and always expecting the worst. Might miss out on a lot of good stuff that way.
Yes, well. I know I suck at empathizing with people, and likely our past experiences are very different, making it more difficult for me to relate. Still, please remember that, although it may seem rational and to have the best payoff, in experiments with game theory the winning strategy is not to always defect (so others shouldn't always want to stab you in the back if they're smart).
To close with, I will immediately contravene my own position and
ask you to trust me that, even though the above might not make much sense, it was delivered with the best intentions in mind. Take it for what it's worth
