Funny Pictures Thread. It begins again

I kept trying to read the lyrics in different order to see if they spell anything that makes sense.

Totally the wrong way to try if you want to get it.
 
So I know we've been talking about how insane the housing market is these days.
But do you want to know exactly just how insane it has become? Here, let me show you...

fixerupper.png


Looks fine, right? But go check out the listing and then get back to me. Make sure you read what the realtor has to say about it.
...and then realize that this "little slice of Hell" has received over a dozen written CASH offers before the listing was even a day old.

--Patrick
 

figmentPez

Staff member
The housing market is absolutely insane right now - my wife and I rent and we wanted to move this year (actually wanted to move last year but cancelled those plans because of the pandemic). We've been looking pretty much since January. A couple of stories from our search:

One place we really liked was already basically rented within an hour of the listing being posted - I was #2 in calling them (been up for an hour) about it but someone had already been there and put in their app within that first hour. Got a call back about another hour later and it was rented.

Another place we drove to see - looked great in pictures, but when we got there - windows were broken, some looked like they had been shot by something small caliber from the inside, the floor sunk when you walked, the garage had rotted near a fireplace and the roofing had fallen in, and the dishwasher looked like it had caught fire briefly. We noped right on out of there after seeing all of that.

A third place I called told me that I was the first person to contact them and they would send me a video walkthrough the next day at a specified time (currently occupied so had to get permission). An hour after that specified time the next day, I hadn't heard from them, so I messaged them and they replied back that they rented the place to someone else.

Many places would be online like an hour or two and already have multiple applications for them.

The place we ended up getting (as we're moving next month), I saw and called them within 20 min of the posting to secure the first spot in line, then showed it to my wife, because waiting would have not gotten us that first potential spot...
 
I cannot find what the realtor said about it. Anyone want to give me a TL;DR?
It's not just you, the listing is now off the market, so the comments have been removed.
Here they are, scraped from an archive.org snapshot from while the listing was still active:
INVESTOR SPECIAL! This formerly majestic 5 bed/4 bath/3 car garage home was once the seller's pride and joy. Now it's every landlord's nightmare and needs someone with firm resolve to appreciate its potential. If you dream of owning your own little slice of hell and turning it into a piece of heaven, then look no further! This house is not for the faint of heart but for that special person who can see through the rough diamond to the polished gem inside. As you enter, there are soaring ceilings and an open floor plan with a second-floor overlook. You will also notice there is not one surface of the home that has not been enhanced with black spray paint or a swinging hammer - damage done by an angry departing tenant who didn't want to pay rent. But don't let that slow you down. It's not nearly as daunting as the freezer in the basement that's full of meat and hasn't had electricity to it for over a year. So be sure to wear your mask. Not for anyone else's protection but your own. You may not be able to endure the smell if you don't. The floorplan is wonderful and open. The main floor has a living room, dining room, kitchen with dining area, family room with fireplace, laundry, and main floor bedroom and bath. There is a walk-out to a back deck - but don't go out there as the deck is not necessarily attached to the house in the manner you might hope. The upstairs has a catwalk, large master with soaking tub and dual sinks, plus two additional bedrooms and bath - all covered in black spray paint, vulgarities, and other substances which are no longer identifiable. The basement is amazing - or at least it will be once all the debris is cleared out, the floor coverings are replaced, and the obscenities are painted over. The home has AC and a radon mitigation system and sits on a large lot. Oh, and did I mention it's in the pink of a geological landslide area? Come feast your senses. DO NOT GO ON BACK DECK. DO NOT OPEN FREEZER IN BASEMENT. See agent remarks.

The only part this description leaves out (that I know of) is that the former tenant was running an illegal animal rescue, and so when she was evicted she apparently left some of the animals locked up in the bathroom where they ultimately perished and now are part of what needs to be cleaned up. I'm not gonna deny that i hope she gets punished for that.
The second link in my post also goes to another article about the listing by Denver-based ABC affiliate KMGH.

--Patrick
 
China Beach and Dana Delaney.
I actually used to watch that, but I was referring to his appearance in Amazon Women on the Moon.
(I've also seen Oh, God! You Devil, but it's been so long I don't remember him at all from that)
I also own this, believe it or not:

bob.jpg


He's not that bad of a singer. Certainly way better than Frakes.

--Patrick
 
@PatrThom and @Bubble181

Spoilers for The Great Gatsby:
A green light at the end of a dock is part of the visual imagery of the story, and Gatsby ends up dead in a pool at the end.
Oooh sorry, didn't make the Great Gatsby connection. Never had to read it, skimmed it once because Americans make a big deal of it, didn't really enjoy it, forgotten pretty much everything that happens
 
Also, honestly Ryan Reynolds would probably make a good Jay Gatsby. Gatsby is charming, intelligent, and sociable, but he's also involved in some unsavory business, and is secretly deeply insecure about his poor background. Ryan Reynolds could pull off such a character.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Well, yes, this is most Ciaphas Cain novels, summarized. Except:
  • Jurgen's appearance was never once referred to as "unprepossessing" nor his driving skill "preternatural"
  • Jurgen's body odor was never described as entering a room followed shortly thereafter by Jurgen himself
  • The melta was never activated with an "acticic flare"
  • Cain not once lied with "the ease of a lifetime's dissembling"
  • Jenit Sulla's appearance was never once implied to be equine in nature
  • Cain never once relied on his augmented fingers to aim his laspistol accurately
  • Never was a more stereotypical 40k character referred to as an "Emperor-botherer."
  • Still not QUITE enough imposter syndrome from Cain
 
Well, yes, this is most Ciaphas Cain novels, summarized. Except:
  • Jurgen's appearance was never once referred to as "unprepossessing" nor his driving skill "preternatural"
  • Jurgen's body odor was never described as entering a room followed shortly thereafter by Jurgen himself
  • The melta was never activated with an "acticic flare"
  • Cain not once lied with "the ease of a lifetime's dissembling"
  • Jenit Sulla's appearance was never once implied to be equine in nature
  • Cain never once relied on his augmented fingers to aim his laspistol accurately
  • Never was a more stereotypical 40k character referred to as an "Emperor-botherer."
  • Still not QUITE enough imposter syndrome from Cain
Bolded for emphasis. That's basically every story.
 
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