I ate Spaghetti O's out of nostalgia today. It still tastes like I remember it, but it smells disgusting to me now.
That’s because while the taste may say, “nostalgia,“ the smell says, “I am a failure at basic cooking.“

—Patrick
 
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Dave

Staff member
Well, I'm back. The day went uneventfully. My brother and I interacted a couple of times and we were both cordial and even shared a laugh or two. He still denies saying it but I fully believe my sister, who wouldn't make something like that up.

So that's it. He's blocked on everything and I don't have to interact with him ever again. Go team Dave!
 
Long, but advice-seeking:

I'm going to send an email to my supervising manager and cc the business owner requesting a meeting to discuss a raise. Anything about the following I should avoid?

It's an indie bookstore (maybe 40 employees, mostly over-40 and part-time), been there 2.5 years, came in with experience as a former receiving manager for Barnes & Noble, assigned as a part-time receiver at first and the everyday driver of the company vehicle to deliver product and money (!) to and from a second store location (only two other managers are emergency backup). Within 3 months, I was the only receiver as the other two quit/was fired. Since I began, there have been 6 receivers who came and went, so I can point to longevity and reliability. I'm often the first one people come to when there is a one-off job to be done, the unofficial IT guy, unofficial trainer of new receiving hires, the heavy lifter, and now handling four new jobs that used to be handled by four part-time people (some pandemic-related), so I have the workload of nearly 3 people. I'm one of the few workers there Monday-Friday, with reduced hours due to pandemic, so less time to finish the extra work.

Last year, they gave me a "raise" which I put in quotes because I found out a book receiver, who had only been there a few months, was earning more than me, despite him only being a receiver, having none of the extra job responsibilities that I already had. Even being only 50 cents/hour, the raise only brought me to parity with his salary, which was still insulting. This came up suddenly because yesterday I overheard that the store is hiring new people again, starting Monday, and their starting salary is what I am earning now, which is again, insulting. They do not do performance reviews, or at least I've never had one in person, which is when raises were handled at previous jobs.

I'm considering asking for a raise of "at least $2/hour" describing how many jobs I'm handling and how I'm still cheaper than hiring 3 new part-time employees. I'd hope they see the value I bring and offer more, but I doubt they would offer more than a nominal 50 cents, which I can claim makes it seem they value me "barely higher than a brand new hire." I'm willing to negotiate other benefits if they don't agree to the $2 minimum, such as raise plus more vacation time, but if all they offer is that 50 cents, take it or leave it, I might have to leave it. I'd rather not lose a job over this, but accepting the minimum offer makes it seem I'm willing to put up with being severely undervalued. Obviously, it's best to have another job before asking for a raise so you can compare offers, and in case they decide to drop you right then, but I only found out about the new hires yesterday. I've been trying to find a job in research/laboratory science again, as that is my background, but it's been years of sending applications with no response.

TL;DR, my talking points will be the increasing amount of responsibilities I have and trust/reliability of past performance. How being underpaid and/or equally paid to new hires makes me feel undervalued. Should I make my $2 request or leave it out and see what they offer first? I'm thinking if they were just planning on 50 cents and I counter with 4x that, it's an instant deal-breaker. This way, they can see how I value myself and they can agree or not, and hopefully be open to alternative benefits.
 
That’s brutal and disrespectful and I’m sorry.

During a pandemic, I would recommend going in and keeping it positive and showing the dates of when you picked up all of your extra responsibilities (at their request either explicitly or through people leaving and you being the only one left to do the tasks) then if possible show an org chart and explain how you have more responsibilities than the others at your level and point to where your actual responsibilities line up and where you feel your pay should be corrected to.

I would suggest approaching it like asking for your pay to be brought up to the level of what they’re asking you to do.

I would suggest looking around for another opportunity if they aren’t receptive.

I hope it goes well.
 
Bloody hell... I go offline for a week for a trip after a 6-month quarantine with the kids and I find out the world’s on fire.... rooting for you guys
 
Our teenaged daughter screamed at me for existing last night.

Yes, I was there when she left her room which warranted ear-splitting screeching.

Yay.
 
I actually made a business connection out of the whole JCM alt story, I post a lot in a polyglot community, some guy started replying to me with the nick JCN and a very similar avatar, messaged him asking if he was one if you guys, and a few conversations later I’m giving online classes for his school. And I’ve been sober for a week.
Our teenaged daughter screamed at me for existing last night.

Yes, I was there when she left her room which warranted ear-splitting screeching.

Yay.
Mine is hitting 13 this month.

I hope teenagehood will be like the simulations.
 

Dave

Staff member
Hey, how are you guys holding up in 2020?
Everything is going okay, other than COVID, fires, politics, etc. You know, the usual. But personally doing pretty decent.

Great to see you although I do follow you in the few times I'm on Facebook.
 
Everything is going okay, other than COVID, fires, politics, etc. You know, the usual. But personally doing pretty decent.

Great to see you although I do follow you in the few times I'm on Facebook.
You do? So I guess you know about the sex change.
 
Our teenaged daughter screamed at me for existing last night.

Yes, I was there when she left her room which warranted ear-splitting screeching.

Yay.
I mean, I was looking through my daughter's school assignments (they keep a record of everything online so parents can track if kids are doing their work) and found out she has already missed an assignment. When I told her we weren't playing Tell Me Why together until she finished it, she told me to go fuck myself.

(tbh, the swearing is not super shocking, we have pretty much normalized swearing in our house because I think banning words is ridiculous, but it's ridiculous that she thinks I have no right to make her do her school work. :p)
 
I mean, I was looking through my daughter's school assignments (they keep a record of everything online so parents can track if kids are doing their work) and found out she has already missed an assignment. When I told her we weren't playing Tell Me Why together until she finished it, she told me to go fuck myself.

(tbh, the swearing is not super shocking, we have pretty much normalized swearing in our house because I think banning words is ridiculous, but it's ridiculous that she thinks I have no right to make her do her school work. :p)
Time for an ISP bam of her devices? Our daughter is well on her way back there.
 
Last weekend my daughter and I put together a short video of her putting on a play with her toys (much like the youtubers she enjoys). After editing it I uploaded it as an unlisted youtube video so I could share it with her mother so she didn't have to download the entire file.
She said thanks but reminded me that I shouldn't put videos of our daughter on social media without her permission (she clearly missed the unlisted part).
Just frustrating that I can't even do a nice thing without her criticizing it or trying to take control in some way. It's like we're still married.
 
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Time for an ISP bam of her devices? Our daughter is well on her way back there.
I know it’s rude to reply to myself, but I’m cranky.

Our daughter was SO rude to me over supper. I couldn’t find the closing time of a local grocery store online and she kept trying to take my phone and “do it better”. She even asked if I was having a blonde moment because I couldn’t find it.

I was clearly annoyed. She said that she didn’t want to start a fight...

Oh honey, every single thing you said was your attempt to start a fight. I declined to engage. This is a good thing.

For the record, the closing time wasn’t on the website for some reason, but I found it another way.
 
I know it’s rude to reply to myself, but I’m cranky.

Our daughter was SO rude to me over supper. I couldn’t find the closing time of a local grocery store online and she kept trying to take my phone and “do it better”. She even asked if I was having a blonde moment because I couldn’t find it.

I was clearly annoyed. She said that she didn’t want to start a fight...

Oh honey, every single thing you said was your attempt to start a fight. I declined to engage. This is a good thing.

For the record, the closing time wasn’t on the website for some reason, but I found it another way.
And I lift my glass to the awful truth
Which you can't reveal to the ears of youth
Except to say it isn't worth a dime
 

Dave

Staff member
I don't actually know what JCM is referring to but this made me lol.
He's just poking the bear. There's no sex change that I know about*.

*Unless it was in a private group or one of the Portuguese language posts I didn't bother to have Google translate.
 
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