Assuming things go well, our family will expand to 10 children May 2018.
The Random Crap Thread 2: It Hits the Fan.
- Thread starter North_Ranger
- Start date
Congratulations!
But HOW DO YOU HANDLE IT? I have one and feel overwhelmed half the time. I think 10 would kill me.
He runs his household like the Von Trapps. He has a special whistle, and when he blows it, his children line up in formation.
If you time it right, you set up a feedback loop, wherein the older ones take care of the younger ones.
Eventually, you have enough that even with the minimum of tribute from each of them, you have enough to retire comfortably.
—Patrick
And now she's telling me that 'It was just sarcasm' and 'how times have changed, everyone is offended so easily.'Was 'policed' by a friends' mom on one of my Facebook posts for my potty mouth. I don't get it. Like? I'm 8,000% sure I'm an adult and don't answer to her. I find it irritating.
I'm waiting for the fallout now of me telling her I'm not going to cater my content to her.
It reminds me of those people who make a bad joke and when they're called out on it, they say 'it's only a joke, calm down.'
I feel wrong to be so upset by this?? But I really am?
First - two is easier than one, if they're close enough together, because they keep each other entertained and we have more free time rather than spending most of our time figuring out how to keep them happy.
To answer that seriously would take a lot of thinking and could probably fill a book, which I'm not about to do. There are a lot of mitigating factors, and the children grow and have to learn to manage themselves more than I suppose they would in a smaller family where they'd get more individual attention. Our one-on-one time is brief periods in the car when we're driving one child or another to someplace or another, and a little semi-individual time with each one at bed time. Otherwise it's almost always group interaction all the time. As you run out of hands, they learn to walk and open doors so you don't have to hold the older one's hands. About the time we're losing our minds because we're never free of them the oldest becomes mature enough to babysit for brief periods of time, then another, then another. About the time we're running around, just driving an hour or more a night getting everyone to various activities, the oldest two get their driver's licenses. We work hard to avoid placing too much responsibility and pressure on the oldest few (they are not parents, plus we pay them for some types of babysitting to differentiate between duty and job), but we rely on all of them to contribute in whatever ways they are capable. While my wife still manages to cook a big meal for everyone each night, with at least one helper (who slows her down, but we want the kids to learn to cook, or at least feel comfortable following recipes) who also sets the table, then everyone pitches in to clean up afterwards, starts the dishwasher, and tidy the place up.
Despite the amount of work, they all still manage to get in an hour or more of games, videos, or other entertainment daily, keep up with their homework, and chores. We have a family meal once a day where everyone sits and eats (yes, it's chaos - but that's just normal around here, we've got 3 kids under 5 years old).
And we love them, as an active choice in our interactions. We can't mold them or force them into place, we love them as they are, how they are, and recommend paths and courses of action (scripts, to some) we've found valuable or useful. But at the end of the day they have to have their autonomy, and we have to make sure they know that whatever their choice we will always love them. But we're also happy to let them deal with the consequences of their choices. We might remind the younger child that they should ask for help pouring the milk, and when they spill we may help them clean it up, but by way of instruction and demonstration as needed - not doing it for them.
We don't use corporeal punishment, and I work hard to avoid guilt - they take themselves on enough guilt trips, I certainly don't need to add to their burdens. The desire they have to please us is extraordinarily strong and we have to actively work to make sure we're not abusing that seemingly innate desire. Whatever path they choose through life we want to have a strong relationship with them and with those they choose to be with.
The biggest thing, though, is I've chosen this life, and they are my highest priority. Which means that at this stage of my life I don't have anything else (I do, but I"m careful not to let outside interests get in the way of family). I really don't do much for myself - if I need to refresh and recharge I choose activities that are suitable for or involve the kids along with me. I'd like to play with RC cars, if I do it'll be by getting one for the kids and getting them into them, for instance, or watching a new anime together. The reason I've chosen this path is because I believe that what I'm building now will last forever. It'll certainly change over time, but our family will be family for all eternity. So while I'm giving up much of myself right now, video games may come and go, movies will be replaced with newer movies, and I could consume - or participate - in other human experiences, only a few things can be built here that will last forever, and I believe my relationships with my family and friends are one of the things that transcends death.
So that's what I focus on.
And like any good addiction, you develop coping strategies and tolerance. At this point adding another baby to the mix really doesn't seem like a burden at all, just an addition of joy, an opportunity to get to know someone new and help them take their first steps in this life, then watch them fly and see what they do.
And having explored the very tip of the iceberg, I'm going to leave it at that. But if you have more specific questions I'm happy to delve into it, I don't think about it much, I just do it.
The trick is to have all your kids interested in the same thing to cut down on car trips. 
I have failed at that because my son only likes Minecraft and my daughter doesn't like to play video games. (OK, not 100% true, but compared to everyone else in this house, she might as well be shunning them)
I have failed at that because my son only likes Minecraft and my daughter doesn't like to play video games. (OK, not 100% true, but compared to everyone else in this house, she might as well be shunning them)
GasBandit
Staff member
Why does the Washington DC Metro (subway) catch fire so often? Turns out, it's human shedding.
That's where you're wrong, because there exists a Minecraft esports league for kids.I would've thought that cuts down significantly on car trips.
I was just pretending to be offended, don't get so offended. Everyone is so easily offended, and I find that offensive.
...
Also, I don't know that lady, but fuck her.
My wife got 'policed' for the same reason by one of my relatives about a year ago or so. I kicked them off my FB friends list.
Wife > distant relative.
Yeah, that lady can get fucked by a zombie clegane.
So I'm re-reading A Song of Ice and Fire and I'm about halfway through A Storm of Swords. It's right before the Red Wedding. And I just started thinking "what if" for the plotline. Like, what if, after Renly was killed, the Tyrells had thrown their support behind Robb Stark and married Margaery off to him. That means the Young Wolf would have the support of The North, The Riverlands, and The Reach. That means, in all likelihood, no Red Wedding.
Going to put the rest behind Spoilers just in case:
So I'm re-reading A Song of Ice and Fire and I'm about halfway through A Storm of Swords. It's right before the Red Wedding. And I just started thinking "what if" for the plotline. Like, what if, after Renly was killed, the Tyrells had thrown their support behind Robb Stark and married Margaery off to him. That means the Young Wolf would have the support of The North, The Riverlands, and The Reach. That means, in all likelihood, no Red Wedding.
Going to put the rest behind Spoilers just in case:
Walder Frey's 4000 spears outnumbered the number (3500 including auxilaries, camp followers, etc) that Robb Stark brought to The Twins for the Red Wedding. With them drunk and leaderless, it was a slaughter. However, he would never have dared if it was 30,000, with the forces of Highgarden involved. While offended at being passed over, the Tyrells are not the pitiful might of the Westerlings. Walder Frey would have had to accept Edmure Tully's betrothal to Roslin Frey, and possibly squeeze a betrothal for Loras out of the deal. With Stark, Tyrell, and Tully united, Roose Bolton would never have made a deal with Tywin Lannister, either. In fact, House Lannister would have been in dire straits. With few allies and his enemies vastly strengthened, Lannister would have had to ally with Balon Greyjoy. Balon Greyjoy died not long after, however, and Euron Greyjoy would never have kept faith with Tywin Lannister. Stannis would have probably unexpectedly benefited, however, because Dorne would have had reason to support him over the others - their long standing emnity with both Lannister and Tyrell made Stannis Baratheon their best ally. In short order, the Ironmen would be driven out of The North, the Bastard of Bolton would never have become important, The Vale would remain neutral, House Lannister's might would have been slowly crushed as King's Landing starved.
Because he spent most of his life fucking other people over. Especially his family. He raped Victarion's wife and got her pregnant, then boasted about it to Victarion, who responded by beating her to death with his bare hands. He did things to Aeron that still make the Damphair flinch at the sound of a creaking door. He fully intends to murder his niece and nephew for opposing him taking the Salt Throne. Basically, his worldview is 'fuck everybody else, I do what I want.' He'd play at squeezing better terms out of the Lannisters, then raid the Westerlands because they were weakly defended.
I think Mike Birbiglia pointed out that "jokes don't end with 'just kidding!' or 'It's just a joke!' or 'Get 'er done!'"
My kids are singing "This is Halloween" and listening to "The Raven".
Nope, wrong, thank you for playing.[DOUBLEPOST=1511485543,1511485419][/DOUBLEPOST]
Doomweasels always count.
Not blue
Plaaaaaaaaaaaaain.
Alternating plain or orange with the blue for dat Portal feel.
It's hilarious that my sister wants to do some kinda $5-limit sibling gift thing, with sibling spouses involved. I never know what to get anyone. It doesn't matter that it's only $5 a pop, those might as well be $5 Target gift cards because I could spend twice that and not be able to afford a clue as to what someone wants. My wife pretty much had to twist my little cousin's arm to get him to tell us things he likes right now.
My nephew is 3. He likes dinosaurs and trains. That's how simple it should be for everyone.
My nephew is 3. He likes dinosaurs and trains. That's how simple it should be for everyone
.
My kids have discovered the joys of blind bags. May I suggest some of those, as they'd fit nicely into a $5 limit.
Plain, unless you are in Tron, in which case, get out of Tron.
I adore Mike Birbiglia, just as an aside.