Random Video Game Crap

GasBandit

Staff member
Looks like someone knows how to show a lady a good time.

--Patrick
She's easy as hell. But there's a reason behind it... she's an undercover fed looking to seduce information out of Nico about the criminal activities of his associates. So, she's by far the least picky and easiest to please of Nico's potential dating pool. Her true identity is foreshadowed because she's also extremely loud and vocal in bed, asking repeatedly for Nico to "speak up a little" and "tell me interesting things."
 
On the good at game vs bad at game for reviewing, I want to point out that every review I saw of Godzilla on PS4, the reviewer did not know how to play the game and was terrible at it. Not Polygon or IGN either; Jim Sterling, AVGN, numerous Youtubers. Now obviously with that happening across so many reviews, fault has to lie with the game for not telling people how to play, but their inability to play it likely affected their impressions. The same can happen with any game.
 

fade

Staff member
She's easy as hell. But there's a reason behind it... she's an undercover fed looking to seduce information out of Nico about the criminal activities of his associates. So, she's by far the least picky and easiest to please of Nico's potential dating pool. Her true identity is foreshadowed because she's also extremely loud and vocal in bed, asking repeatedly for Nico to "speak up a little" and "tell me interesting things."
Spoiler alert, dammit. I have this game, I just haven't played it yet.
 
Spoiler alert, dammit. I have this game, I just haven't played it yet.
On the one hand, I do understand; it's a general thread and spoilers are no fun (and I haven't played it yet, either)

On the other hand GTA IV 's 8 years old, man, so...Maybe just roll with it? I don't think this is The Big Twist of the game, all things considered :p
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I can't possibly believe that Fade was being serious :p And no, it's a very early, easily spotted/telegraphed "twist." She's not subtle at all. And really, I wouldn't even call it a twist, more like... a minor plot device.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Critical Miss weighs in on Polygon playing Doom -

[DOUBLEPOST=1463772451,1463772139][/DOUBLEPOST]The writer's text below:

"As a rule, I don't think reviewers, critics, and the various other strains of videogamus journalistus have to be particularly good at the games they play. Gaming is unique in that it's the only artistic medium where actual mechanical skill is vital to higher-level understanding of the work (inb4 metal fans claiming you'll never TRULY GRASP the genius of Meshuggah without a doctorate in eight -string-theory chugganomics) but people forget that most games journalism is aimed directly at the broader, some might even say casual, audience. The kind of people who play games on normal, don't use an Arcade stick in fighting games, prefer League over Dota 2, etc.

I generally try to read as much games criticism I can, mostly because I enjoy reading it, and I've come across insightful commentary from people I know are far worse than me at games and absolute nonsense from people I know are far better. How many YouTube critics do you follow that are genuinely, no-holds-barred, capital G "Good" at games? And how many of those are actually good critics? I've watched Jim's videos. I've seen him "play videogames." It's like watching a man with dicks for hands try to juggle. Skill is great, but it's not insight. Games are multi-faceted. Even sites like Polgyon which have a reputation for pieces that focus on narrative and aesthetics in a social context rather than raw gameplay have their place. It's not for everyone, but I'm content to let them do them.

THAT BEING SAID, there's a level of incompetence at which the content you're putting out becomes worthless for anything but comedy. Polygon's now infamous Doom first look is beyond useless. It looks like the kind of footage you'd see playing in black and white over sad violin music before a toll-free number asks you to donate and help save a lifetoday. It's not like Doom 2016 Premiership Edition is a mechanically demanding or particularly deep game (it's actually quite shallow when compared to the original) but I'd argue having the presence of mind to both shoot and move at the same time is somewhat vital to the experience."
 
I think Polygon's video did what it wanted to accomplish and more, it got people talking about it and clicks galore. The most important thing for any website.[DOUBLEPOST=1463772998,1463772642][/DOUBLEPOST]On a completely different note, there are apparently block puzzles in the new Fallout 4 DLC.

Holy fucking shit Bethesda, please stop making Fallout games.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I think Polygon's video did what it wanted to accomplish and more, it got people talking about it and clicks galore. The most important thing for any website.
Ah yes, the ol' "McDonald's sells millions of burgers so they must be doing it right" argument.

Edit: or perhaps not, maybe you're saying that clickbait is awesome because all that matters is that a website gets clicks? "You won't believe how bad our review staff is at playing Doom! Here's 5 funny ways to die by being inept at FPS games." Step 3, profit! BRILLIANT!
 
Ah yes, the ol' "McDonald's sells millions of burgers so they must be doing it right" argument.

Edit: or perhaps not, maybe you're saying that clickbait is awesome because all that matters is that a website gets clicks? "You won't believe how bad our review staff is at playing Doom! Here's 5 funny ways to die by being inept at FPS games." Step 3, profit! BRILLIANT!
He wasn't reviewing the game. It was a first look put up as quickly as possible to gather the first look eyes. It was shit. No disagreeing, but fuck, people getting so out of whack about it got them more attention than they could have possible hoped for.

The reviewer also has a 90 minute stream of him playing the game, which he is perfectly competent at.
 
I'd like to point out that Polygon is also the website that sent a journalist to a review event for Rockband 4 and the resulting article basically said nothing about the game because the reviewer, self-admittedly, couldn't care less about it. Suffice to say that they have a track record with half-assing things. They want to be journalists... just not video game journalists, which is basically everything wrong with games media.
It was a preview event and that guy, again, wasn't who reviewed it.
 
It was a preview event and that guy, again, wasn't who reviewed it.
Again, his job was to talk about the game and it was clear from the second he started writing that he had nothing but contempt for it and the genre as a whole... so why THE FUCK was he writing about it? Games Media is supposed to be an enthusiast press, not a fucking newspaper where the new guy has to cover trade shows and farmer's markets because no one else will. Are you going to tell me that Polygon didn't have -one- person who wouldn't have jumped a chance to see the game?

Instead we got some asshole talking about his grandmother and being annoyed he couldn't discuss politics because of video games. I don't know how that piece wasn't just straight up rejected by the editor; I know if I had written something like that back when I was doing this stuff I'd have been told redo the entire thing.
 
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