Rant VIII: The Reckoning

Ah!
So it's not that her goal is to emulate the girl, the girl IS her goals. Got it.

--Patrick

PatrThom said:

Ah!
So it's not that her goal is to emulate the girl, the girl IS her goals. Got it.

--Patrick

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Precisely, Watson.

You've just gotta do it like this instead:

Or this?

Hey, admissions office, how about if you do your fucking job instead of dicking around. I sent in my documents. Now unblock me so I can register!!

edited for accuracy?

GasBandit said:

Funkachoili brsaw seepgar seep.

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was this moment:


And I was like


right before I was

Meanwhile, this has been my reason for living la vida loca:

Bought a 256GB SSD for my server computer after it has been sitting idle for a year due to a failed HDD. It's an older Mac Mini, so I've been putting it off because I want to replace the SSD, install a second HDD, and also upgrade the RAM, and the little buggers are a bit of a chore to open and maintain, so I only want to do this once.

-Open computer.
-Install RAM, SSD, HDD successfully.
-Close computer.
-Set computer back up again. Feeling pretty stoked to get this guy back in service again.
-Realize there is a firmware update for the SSD with benefits I would very much like.
-Download firmware updater. It needs to be run from Linux CD or Windows.
-Oh, but I just replaced the CD drive with the HDD and the old CD wasn't working anyway.
-Can also run from USB stick with some work.
-Download USB installer thingie on Windows machine to prep USB drive.
-Linux USB boot does not work (probably some BIOS/EFI thing I'm not going to bother to run down).
-Trying to run updater from external CD drive does not work.
-Updater also can run from Windows. Fine.
-Go get copy of Windows to install on Mini just long enough to update firmware.
-Oh right, no CD drive.
-Copy Windows installation iso over onto USB stick
-Mini still won't boot from that, either.
-External CD drive is FireWire, can't boot Windows install CD from it.
-4am now, take Mini all back apart again to remove SSD
-Mount SSD in laptop
-Run CD updater using laptop, everything works fine
-Reinstall SSD in Mini. Success!
Yaayy! Everything is back together, now I just have to install the OSes, install all the software, run all the updates, etc., etc....


--Patrick

So I had a long talk with my wife tonight...

She finally opened up to me about why she's been going to the doctor and therapist so much lately. Her kidney function is slowly deteriorating, and now her hemoglobin levels are low, so they're getting concerned about what's going on in there. She's going to a kidney specialist next week, but of the possibilities that it could be (she is an NP so she's aware of what's up far more than I am), none are good. So she's upset and depressed all the time and didn't want to worry me, but right now I'm a bundle of emotions, none of them good.

I hate that she felt the need to leave me in the dark so long about things, and I hate that there's nothing I can do about anything.

People don't realize that you worry MORE if they don't tell you what's going on.

Just got a text from her saying that she didn't think she got across how much she still cares for me but she's still adamant that she feels that us not being together is the best thing to do for both of us. I just about threw my phone across the room.

WELL, BACK TO THE CRYING CHAIR.

GREAT MESSAGE.

i hate it when they try to soften the bl;ow. its like no, we're done, get lost. Just rip the bandage off.

You fucking assholes. Honestly.

GF starts a long text string late last night about how we are so disconnected during the week (We live an hour apart) and that while we're together it's awesome, but being apart is horrible and she's spiralling down because I don't put as much effort into texting. And it's this long, really horrible conversation.

Followed up by my brother calling me up and berating me for an hour that my whole family is falling apart and I'm just living the high life in Winnipeg, able to ignore all their problems.

Family always guilt trips about moving far away. My mom has done it on a fairly regular basis for the last 10.5 years.

Also, an hour? That's a leisurely drive to get anywhere in Colorado.

Dei said:

Family always guilt trips about moving far away. My mom has done it on a fairly regular basis for the last 10.5 years.

Also, an hour? That's a leisurely drive to get anywhere in Colorado.

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I live a good hours' drive away from my parents; back when my brother lived in South Africa they were always going on about hearing more from him than from me (through Skype), now that he's moved in 5 minutes from their place, I get even more griping about not being around as often. My girlfriend's parents are even worse. Her three sisters all live less than 2 miles from them, we live well over 80 miles away. Sigh.

I can relate.

I've got a younger brother who will be in prison one day; just a matter of time. He's always been a fuck-up, and plays the victim. And an older sister who has flunked out of every attempt at higher education, and essentially threw away her GI-Bill. She also plays the victim. She has even accused my folks of saying she wasn't smart enough to be a doctor. She really resents that I got my B.S./PhD. We (my wife and I) have to walk on egg shells when we're around them. Especially when there is any discussion about knowledge and intelligence. We can't play any sort of strategy board games b/c if we win then my mom will say something about us being smart, and then it all goes to shit.

I am so glad we live across the country from them.

There's a reason I moved over 2,000 miles away from my family. And why I don't speak to them.

Family is complicated business. I am envious of people that are close to their siblings.

Amy said:

i hate it when they try to soften the bl;ow. its like no, we're done, get lost. Just rip the bandage off.

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No shit. We were friends long before we were a couple but I need some fucking time to get over this.

Amy said:

i hate it when they try to soften the bl;ow. its like no, we're done, get lost. Just rip the bandage off.

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It's really hard.
I still genuinely care about everyone I used to date (some more than others, obviously).
On breakup day, you want to send the message that we can't be together, but there's no hard feelings.
The first few times, I tried it, but it never turned out well, so I stopped trying. I can be taught.

--Patrick

I have family that accuses me of thinking I'm better than them, and that I purposefully avoid contact with them.

I also let them know that they're right, just so we're all on the same page.

Speaking of effed up family. I am going to lose my flippin mind if I hear another word about the economy collapsing in September. Turn off your T.V., stop watching 24-hr news, and don't read retarded books about the end of the world. If you are stock piling food and bullets, I am not speaking to you anymore.

GasBandit said:

Hey, stockpiling food and bullets is just good time-tested policy, regardless.

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Hey, I keep water and a blanket in my trunk in case of emergencies. I am not talking about a reasonable amount of emergency cache. This is crazy cache.

fade said:

I get this one a lot. About how I think I'm superior and all that jazz. It's weird. I don't lord anything over any of them, and we all had the same chances. The younger ones had more because my parents had more money to help them out, in fact (we're divided in 3 and 3, with an age gap between the groups). In fact, I don't say a damn thing to any of them about any of it.

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Dei said:

Family always guilt trips about moving far away. My mom has done it on a fairly regular basis for the last 10.5 years.

Also, an hour? That's a leisurely drive to get anywhere in Colorado.

Click to expand...

drawn_inward said:

She really resents that I got my B.S./PhD. We (my wife and I) have to walk on egg shells when we're around them. Especially when there is any discussion about knowledge and intelligence. We can't play any sort of strategy board games b/c if we win then my mom will say something about us being smart, and then it all goes to shit.

I am so glad we live across the country from them.

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Emrys said:

There's a reason I moved over 2,000 miles away from my family. And why I don't speak to them.

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Yep. This all sounds so familiar. I'm an only child though. I get extra guilt because I'm 5k miles away and there's no one to take care of my aging parents.

I am literally planning on moving to the other end of the country as soon as I can get my degree, assuming I can find work there. My family life is that bad. I can get my masters done anywhere, but I'm kind of stuck in Ohio until my bachelors is done.

My whole family has grown up pretty insular and stayed in the same small town for their entire life. I packed up my things post-divorce and moved to the big city halfway across the country. With my sister's heart attack and now my dad's apparent mental breakdown, my brother is doing his best to throw me under the bus as 'not supportive', as if I'm responsible for the mental and physical health of adults. Their perspectives haven't changed while mine has and I think to many people that's a scary concept: being 'outgrown' by a competitor sibling.