Terrible event on this day in history

239 years ago a bunch of uppity colonials decided to quit on the British Empire. This has almost universally come to be thought of as "a bad thing".

The former colonists would Found a country that would be thought of by other countries as as consisting of a bunch of overweight, none too bright hicks with a gun fetish & a tendency to sue each other at the drop of a hat.

The Empire on the other hand would decline to the point where, well it wasn't an empire at all anymore. It's people would go on to be both inordinately proud & utterly ashamed of their country's history, spending most of their time either apologising for having once been an empire, apologising for not being an empire anymore or, oddly, apologising for still being an empire (which we aren't).

All of this could have been avoided if those damn colonists had just accepted their place in the Empire instead of labouring under the deluded belief that they could actually make a successful independent country.

I mean what did the US ever give the world? Apart from the swivel chair obviously.

Actually fuck it, swivel chairs are cool. Maybe it was worth it after all.
 
239 years ago a bunch of uppity colonials decided to quit on the British Empire. This has almost universally come to be thought of as "a bad thing".

The former colonists would Found a country that would be thought of by other countries as as consisting of a bunch of overweight, none too bright hicks with a gun fetish & a tendency to sue each other at the drop of a hat.

The Empire on the other hand would decline to the point where, well it wasn't an empire at all anymore. It's people would go on to be both inordinately proud & utterly ashamed of their country's history, spending most of their time either apologising for having once been an empire, apologising for not being an empire anymore or, oddly, apologising for still being an empire (which we aren't).

All of this could have been avoided if those damn colonists had just accepted their place in the Empire instead of labouring under the deluded belief that they could actually make a successful independent country.

I mean what did the US ever give the world? Apart from the swivel chair obviously.

Actually fuck it, swivel chairs are cool. Maybe it was worth it after all.
Nice. Almost like it came out of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
 
Yeah, we're messed up at times. But people are still beating down our doors to come here.

Happy birthday, US of A! You put the "funk" in dysfunctional, but you're still the land of the free and the home of the brave.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
[DOUBLEPOST=1436052553,1436052370][/DOUBLEPOST]And remember, 3 years ago tonight, when San Diego accidentally all the fireworks. (TURN IT DOWN, R.I.P. headphone users)

 

GasBandit

Staff member
Everybody does stupid things sometimes.

Here's a video from July 4th, 1999 of my friend Greg riding a lawn tractor around while we shoot fireworks at him, and he doesn't look where he's going and runs over the propane grill.



No need to watch anything after the 1:00 mark, nothing interesting happens after that (and I'm not being funny, it's just trying to launch fireworks regularly with varying degrees of success).

Sorry for the potato quality, it was 1999.
 
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